New relationships can be exciting. Whether you’ve known each other forever and finally decided to pursue something, or you just met a few days ago and can’t imagine how you got by without her before, those early-stage butterflies can be pretty intense. But how do you tell the difference between “infatuated” and “in love”? Everyone always says “You’ll know it when you feel it” – but what if you don’t?
Thankfully, the signs that you’re in love are pretty unanimous. If you find yourself checking off at least most of the following signs, you might just be in love for real – let me be the first to congratulate you!
You see her in your future.
While our future plans are definitely subject to change at any time, due to factors within and outside of our control, there’s a strong connection between what you think about and what you really want. If your future plans happen to include her – whether next month or five years from now – chances are, you’re in love with her.
You enjoy spending time with her.
Truthfully, this is one of the areas where loving someone and being infatuated with them get a little blurred together, since you’ll probably want to spend time with her either way. But if it doesn’t matter what you’re doing, as long as you’re together, you might just be in love.
You like the things she can’t stand about herself.
One of the truest measures of your love is your ability to accept the other person’s perceived flaws. If she hates her weird toes and you can’t get enough of them, or you enjoy brushing her hard-to-manage curly hair, it might be your little way of helping complete them.
You’ve stopped caring about your past relationships.
Almost as if by magic, your past relationships suddenly don’t matter anymore. The urge to check up on your ex on Facebook is gone. You unfollow that hot girl you were Insta-crushing on. You even start to lose touch with some friends who seem to have sketchy intentions – you’re all about your partner and don’t want to let anyone come in between.
You naturally assume you’re going to grow old together.
Even though, statistically, it might not happen, you don’t care. Your relationship makes you feel like you can beat all the odds. You can’t even think about what would happen if things go bad, because it just doesn’t make sense to think like that.
You’re mentally and physically attracted to her.
When we’re infatuated with someone, it usually stems from either a mental or a physical level. When you’re truly in love with someone, the chemistry is going to be there in both areas. You’re equally happy having passionate sex as you are having a deep, meaningful conversation.
You talk to her about everything.
You’re not worried about being judged when you tell her the things that worry you, or the things that make you happy, or the things pressing against your mind. You’re not even worried about telling her the embarrassing things – like when you bruised your labia climbing the cemetery fence, or when you fell off your surf board and ate a mouthful of sand.
You can’t help but tell people about her.
Talking to other people reminds you of this funny thing that your girlfriend said the other day. Or, a song you hear at the club reminds you of her, so you tell your friends. Basically, any excuse you can find to bring her up, you probably will – but it’s all positive things, of course.
Your partner starts to be a priority in your life.
When you’re infatuated with someone, you’ll want to make a date with them whenever you start to have free time. But when you really love someone, you don’t consider dates a “free time” activity anymore – she’s a part of your regular routine now.
You miss her when you’re apart.
It seems so obvious – after all, we miss people we care about, even if we’re not in love with them. But when you’re in love with someone, you start to miss her right away. Even if you’re seriously irritated with her. And it might be confusing sometimes, because you may have even told her to leave you alone, but as soon as she’s gone, you can’t help but keep thinking about her.
You see reminders of your love everywhere.
As cheesy as it makes you feel, love songs totally make you thinking of her. So does a warm breeze, or a flower on the sidewalk, or your morning coffee…
You get mad at her, but can’t seem to stay mad at her.
Forgiveness comes naturally when you’re in love with someone, and even when she screws up royally, you’re willing to talk it out and make things work. When the love is real, you can’t just walk away over silly little things – you’re in it for the long haul.
You want to be a better person because of her.
When you’re truly in love, you’re going to feel like your partner is way out of your league – and if she’s in it for the right reasons, she’ll feel the same way about you. This inspires both of you to improve yourselves, making your future that much brighter because you’re building it together.