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15 Signs You May Be Polyamorous

Monogamy just isn't for you.
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You’ve never been good at relationships. You’ve tried, but something about them always felt…off. You can’t put your finger on why. But the thought of being tied to just one person makes your stomach churn.

Maybe you feel guilty or maybe you’re just confused. What the hell is going on? Are you just a horrible person who can’t be faithful?

Maybe you’re polyamorous.

If you’re polyamorous, that means you’re inclined to being romantically or sexually involved with more than one person at the same time.

Famous polyamorous people include Margaret Cho, Larry King, Myq Kaplan, Ayn Rand, Will Smith and every literally every man in the Old Testament.

You might be polyamorous if…

  • You believe that you have a lot of love to give, and that love should be spread out among multiple people.
  • You often have feelings for more than one person at a time.
  • You believe that loving one person doesn’t diminish the love you have for another person.
  • The idea of your partner with someone else doesn’t make you jealous.
  • In fact, maybe it turns you on.
  • You have trouble committing. You bristle at the thought of being tied down.
  • You believe that one person cannot meet all of your physical and emotional needs, and that they shouldn’t have to try.
  • You’ve tried monogamous relationships. When in a monogamous relationship, you felt trapped, you resented your partner, or you cheated.
  • You’ve had open relationships in the past, and they were amazing.
  • You believe that you have a lot to offer potential partners. You’re so amazing that it would be selfish to keep you all to yourself!
  • You love getting to know lots of new people. Life is about making deep soul-to-soul connections with people you never expected.
  • When you think about your future, you don’t envision marriage to one person. You hate the thought of a “normal” relationship that lasts until you die.
  • You are willing to be communicative and honest with your partner.
  • You are willing to take chances. You are willing to get hurt.
  • Your tattoo says, “The more the merrier.”

If several of those apply to you, then you may be polyamorous. Now what?

Read the polyamorous bible, The Ethical Slut, cover to cover.

Educate yourself by reading Polyamorous Lesbian Relationship Myths Busted.

Talk to your partner after reading Is Polyamory Right For You and Your Girlfriend?

Play devil’s advocate with Why Polyamory Won’t Work for You.

Check out the polyamorous meet-ups in your area.

And then take a chance!

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J. Marie graduated from Duke University with a degree in International Relations and dreams of being a creative writer–dreams she’s now realizing as a musical theatre writer in NYC. She’s passionate about global black identities, black representation in media, and leather-bound notebooks. She also loves backpacking through a new country at a moment’s notice, and speaks Spanish, Swahili and Standard Arabic.

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