I’m a child of diversity. I’ve never understood the point of “only” dating a certain race. After all, if you go back far enough, very few of us are strictly from one particular country or region, so even if it was an issue, it’s not really an issue.
I know I’m a bit mixed myself, even though you can’t tell by looking at me. And when I go out with my also-mixed girlfriend, things can get a bit peculiar, especially when we’re hanging around people who mean well, but don’t quite get it.
I’d like to take a minute to step up and address some of the most common stupid things we hear. If you have ever said any of these things to friends or acquaintances, please stop – I promise you they are not coming across how (I hope) you intend them.
1. “How politically correct.”
No. This isn’t a political statement, this is our relationship, and it’d be nice if you butted out of it, thanks.
2. “I love mixed babies!”
First of all, not everyone chooses to have children. Second, mixed or not mixed – babies are freaking cute.
3. “What did your parents think?”
They get along great. They understand that race isn’t everything in life, and in fact, it’s very little.
4. “How sexy”
Yes, because we totally fell in love to be a sex symbol for others.
5. “Do you think you’re too good for your own race?”
No, I think humans are too diverse to be color-coded.
6. “Isn’t it hard being gay and interracial?”
It’s not really any harder than any other relationship, aside from dealing with the people who think that our relationship is their business.
7. “Won’t it be hard for you kids?”
Again, not everyone chooses to have kids – and I think the world at large is getting a lot more accepting of diversity and less accepting of bratty little shits who bully other kids.
8. “Do you guys know [other interracial and/or queer couple here]?”
Uh, no. But if I meet them, I’ll let you know.
9. “I’ve always wanted to date a person of another race.”
I’m not with her because she’s a different race than me. I’m with her because I love her, and she happens to have a different shade of skin. My girlfriend is not a trophy or a token.
10. “Have you always had a thing for [insert race here] women?”
Well, now that you mention it… I have always thought that women in general were pretty neat. But the more we stick each other (and ourselves) into little boxes, the less we keep our individuality.
11. “I dated someone [insert race here] one time, but my parents made us break up.”
Something tells me your situation is not like my situation.
12. “You must be brave!”
Yes, because my relationship is an act of courage – not an act of the heart. Right. I’ll keep that in mind.
13. “Is the sex different?”
Wait, what? Why is it your business? And, by the way, it’s been a bit different with everyone I’ve ever dated.
14. “Did you guys meet online?”
Because people with different skin colors can’t meet in the real world…?
15. “Was it weird the first time your parents met her parents?”
Well, yes, but no weirder than it would be any time the parents all get together.
16. “So… Are the stereotypes true?”
When we choose to see someone, not as the person they are but instead as a group of characteristics based on their appearance, we are dehumanizing them and turning them into a novelty. Don’t be that guy.
