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21 Things to Remember When You’re “Forever Alone”

Alone doesn’t have to mean lonely.
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Being alone sucks. Okay, maybe not always – there are definitely times when I’d rather be by myself, like when I’m in the bathroom, or when I’m singing. (Yeah, I’m shy – don’t judge me!) But it can be a drag when it feels like you’re always alone – especially if it seems like you’re always trying to find someone and it’s not really getting you anywhere.

It seems so cliché when people tell you, “The right person will come along when you least expect it.” As much as we know they’re probably right, it’s still hard to accept. After all, when you’re feeling lonely, you really just want someone to fix that loneliness for you, even if that’s not how it works.

Are you struggling with keeping your chin up because it seems like you’ll be forever alone? Keep these 21 things in mind.


Most people are born alone, and most people die alone.

Truthfully, there are less than forty “multiple births” for every thousand “single births”, and a great deal of those twins, triplets, and higher were conceived in-vitro. It’s a little sadder that most people die alone, but… hey, at least you won’t be the only one.


There’s a good reason you’re not with your ex anymore.

Either she messed up, or you messed up – but either way, the relationship wasn’t right. Very rarely do people part ways just because they felt like breaking up.


People in relationships will envy your single-ness.

Not all people, of course, but how many times have you heard someone talking about how much they wish they were single? You are single, and you can totally rub it in their faces.


All things are temporary.

In the grand scheme of thing, there’s nothing permanent – besides death and taxes. And, technically, there are ways around doing your taxes (albeit, they are illegal).


Being alone doesn’t have to mean being lonely.

There are happy things about being single – you just have to find them. The upsides are probably on their way to you right now – just be patient!


Booty calls won’t help you find a girlfriend, probably.

If you’re really looking for love, you’re probably not going to find it by hooking up with random strangers or ex-girlfriends. I mean, sometimes it happens – but it doesn’t happen often enough for you to try doing things that way.


You’re not doomed – you’re just impatient.

It’s easy to feel like you’re always going to be alone. But, realistically, you probably won’t.


You have a lot going for you – more than what you don’t have going for you.

It’s highly unlikely that there’s nothing good about you. Or even that there’s not much good about you. It’s easy to feel inadequate, because our brains tell us what’s wrong with us. But other people don’t know these things. Other people can see the beauty that maybe we can’t.

Being selective with your partners is a good thing.

It’s a good thing that you’re not settling for someone who treats you like crap, or who is wrong for you in other ways. If you were truly “desperate”, you’d be settling. But give yourself a pat on the back for not doing that.


You don’t have to share the bed or the TV – savor it!

I’ve had ex-girlfriends who had absolutely terrible taste in television, and they were blanket hogs, too. Since I’m a bit of a blanket hog myself, it would never work out. In fact, even though I’m in a relationship, I cherish the time my girlfriend is away, because I get to cocoon myself in the blankets all. Night. Long. When you’re single, every night can be a blanket cocoon.


It’s better to be alone than to be with someone who makes you feel alone.

I’ve had ex-girlfriends who completely ignored me, too, and let me tell you… That’s the worst. It’s far better to be on your own and learn to enjoy your own company than to be with someone who makes you question yourself.


You don’t ever need to ask permission. For anything.

OK, so you should still probably follow your local laws, and a healthy relationship means you don’t need to ask permission for things anyway because neither of you would dream of doing something the other person wouldn’t like… But you can’t get to that place right away. Getting a new girlfriend means a lot of permission-asking.


Would you rather be in a relationship with no sex (or worse – with bad sex)?

Sure – you hope you’re lucky enough to find a girlfriend who’s an absolute sex goddess. But that’s not always going to be the case. Would you really rather risk bad sex, or feeling guilty for finishing the job yourself? I don’t think so.


Everything happens for a reason.

If the universe sends someone out of your life – whether you feel it was too early or not – there’s probably a good reason for it. More often than not, that reason is that they’re not the person you really need in your life.


Being single is better for your health.

As much as you might think you need someone else to be happy… You probably don’t. In fact, I know you don’t. Scientifically speaking, women in a healthy relationship are no better off emotionally than when they’re single. A bad relationship, on the other hand, will literally destroy your physical and mental health.


The right person will be completely worth the wait.

And she’s not going to come when you’re looking for her. In fact, if you are looking for the Right Person, you’ll probably completely look her over trying to chase after the wrong person. Save yourself the hassle!


Your friends are there to make sure you’re never really alone.

Lesbians in relationships are notorious for ignoring their friends and “nesting”. Go spend some time with your besties, and let them distract you from how long it’s been since you got laid. (Just be sure to thank them for a good time!)


Being single gives you more time for your hobbies.

In fact, when you’re in a relationship (as great as relationships are), you’re probably going to drop more than one hobby. Hopefully it’s because you’ve found a newer, better hobby, but that’s not always the case. You have so much more time for the things you enjoy when you don’t have to worry about getting dressed up for a date.


You are in complete control over your inner circle.

This means you can pick the people who bring out the best in you – not someone who’s just there to fill a vacant spot.


Being single is a perfect excuse to travel.

I’m not sure about you, but I love to travel – and hate having to not travel just because someone else doesn’t want to. When you’re single, you control the itinerary – all on your own.


And besides… You are amazing, all by yourself.

When you focus on being the best person you can be, you’re so much more likely to attract a partner of equal awesomeness. When you’re trying to find someone out of desperation, your choices are pretty much going to be limited to finding someone who is also desperate. And do you really want to be the desperate girlfriend of the desperate girlfriend? I wouldn’t!


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Author
Barbara is a 26-year-old lesbian living in California with her partner (and their “fur babies” - an adorably chubby puppy named Porkchop and a ball python named Ru). In the spare time she pretends to have, she enjoys horror movies, music of all varieties, reading, and complaining about the weather.

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