I’m not very good at “casual” relationships. I’ve tried, but I just can’t date someone just on a whim. If I’m in it, I’m in it for real. Sometimes, that’s led others to push me to be a little less serious about the person I was with (okay, maybe that’s just because I used to have pretty horrible taste in women). “Why don’t you just… Explore your other options?” they’d ask me, with a smile on their faces as if they were giving me helpful advice.
While dating around works well for some, and some women have a strong need to stay single, I don’t regret the committed life I live, and here’s 24 reasons why.
1. You can still do the “single person stuff” you want to do.
My girlfriend and I can go to the bar together, or hang out with our own friends, or do our own thing. If I stay at home on a Friday night, it’s because I want to, not because she told me to.
2. You’ve already found what other people are searching for.
I didn’t go on some epic journey to find someone who understands me – she just happened to enter my life when I was still young. There’s nothing wrong with being picky and waiting a little longer – but why make yourself wait just for the sake of waiting?
3. You get to grow and learn together.
My girlfriend and I are going to be starting college together in a month and a half, and – honestly – I am so excited. I know that there’s still time to achieve our goals – I’m not stuck searching for someone who already has it all together.
4. The sex is better in a committed relationship than a casual one.
When your partner actually knows you, inside and out, the sex is better. This is proven by tons of scientific studies.
5. She’s like your own personal cheerleader.
Sure, sometimes she’s cheering you on for something she wants you to do, but most of the time, she’s reaffirming the things you’re not so confident about, and that feels amazing.
6. You already know what’s important to you.
Where other people my age might be trying to figure out what their type is, or what sort of person they’re attracted to, or how to handle their emotions, I’ve already got it all figured out. I’m the master of my own happiness, at a relatively young age.
7. You have someone to figure life out with.
Your 20s are basically a time to screw things up royally while you’re figuring out how to not screw things up royally. Being in a serious relationship while I face these new adulting challenges means I’ve got someone in my corner to keep me accountable.
8. You have someone to come home to.
At the end of the day, I know there’s going to be someone there for me to cuddle up next to. If we’re apart for whatever reason, she’s just a phone call away.
9. You don’t have to deal with dating scene drama.
Every time I listen to my friends complaining about the creeps they met on MeetMe or OKCupid or whatever site the kids are using these days, I look to my girlfriend and just breathe a sigh of relief.
10. You don’t have to have the awkward STD talk nearly as often.
Because, as we all know, if you’re not comfortable having the conversation, you’re not ready to have sex – pure and simple.
11. You get little reminders of the things that are awesome about you.
Because, let’s face it – 20-somethings aren’t always the masters of self-confidence. But when you’ve found someone who truly loves and cares about you, she’s going to remind you how great you are as often as she can. (And not to get laid, but because she thinks you should know.)
12. You get to teach each other new things and go on adventures together.
We’re not bogged down with exhausting jobs or family commitments, nor are we too shy to be ourselves around each other. Together, we can take on the world.
13. You don’t have to rush into marriage.
Once you turn 30, there seems to be this push to either get married, or swear off the idea of marriage altogether. In your 20s, everyone is pushing you not to get married yet – so we’ve got more time to get everything sorted out first.
14. You don’t feel rushed into having kids, yet, either.
We’ve been together for years and our families just started asking about grandkids. Compared to our older siblings, who already had kids at our age, we feel confident that we’ll be better prepared.
15. It’s easier to start as friends.
It’s a really sad fact that you’re better at making friends when you’re younger. Think about it: Your average three-year-old probably has at least a dozen “best friends”, while your average 40-year-old probably only has one or two. At a time when you have more friends, based on statistics, it’s even more likely that one of them is meant to be something more.
16. You’ve got someone “safe” to gossip with.
We all know that we shouldn’t discuss other people’s business, but I don’t think there’s a single person who has honestly never indulged in gossip. When you only share gossip with the person who’d carry your secrets to the grave, you can gossip without all the guilt!
17. You have someone to bring to awkward family gatherings.
Especially if you’re not actually “out” yet – your average casual hook-up probably isn’t going to come play bestie at your family’s barbecue. Your love, on the other hand, will gladly tag along, just to get a peek at the rest of your life, because she wants to be in the picture long-term.
18. You don’t have to choose between your love life and your career.
Since you found your match before you got too deep into your search for income, you have that much more time to focus on making your dreams happen. And, let me tell you, I’m glad I’m going to reach my dreams before I’m 30.
19. You have more practice being good partners, compared to people who date around.
Again, there’s nothing wrong with dating around. But by the time our less-serious friends are starting to get ready to settle, we’ve already been settled. We already know how to be a good partner, because we’ve been a good partner for so long.
20. Adulting is so much more fun with someone else.
Folding laundry magically turns into time to catch up on your favorite shows. Grocery shopping turns into a scavenger hunt challenge. Doing the dishes can easily turn into a water fight. I’m sure you get the idea.
21. You’ve got a support system when your friends are too busy.
As much as your older relatives might joke that the hard part of life has just begun, there’s no denying that your 20s are a time of major stress and depression for hundreds of millions of people worldwide. And, thankfully, your girlfriend will be there to help pick you up when you get a little crazy.
22. You save money, because you don’t feel pressured to go out all the time.
I mean, obviously, you’re down to meet friends – but you don’t feel the need to go out of your way for it anymore. Maybe you’ve settled, but it’s better on your bank account.
23. You help push each other to be better people.
Instead of changing each other to fit a predefined mold, we can urge them to be their own best version of themselves. It’s not about impressing each other, it’s about building an empire together.
24. You feel totally blessed because you have a partner.
No matter what happens in life, or how independent you may be, you get the comfort of knowing there will always be someone in your corner. That’s magical. She’s there to love, encourage, and support you, and all she asks in exchange is that you do the same for her. Who else is going to give you that?