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25 Signs You Should Break Up

These 25 signs will help you decide whether it's time.
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Sometimes it’s obvious when you need to break up. If you find your girlfriend’s ex’s underwear in the bed, it’s over.

But other times – most times – it’s not so clear. Boredom and dissatisfaction may slowly creep up on you like rainclouds from a distance. Or you might roll over one day and suddenly realize you’re not happy. You might even go back and forth on the idea for days, weeks or months.

Sometimes, the only way to know whether a breakup was the right decision is in hindsight. But to help you make the right decision now, here are 25 signs you should think about ending it.

  1. You would rather spend time with your Netflix account, homework assignments or chores than with your girlfriend.
  2. You’ve been on and off more times than you can count.
  3. You feel relieved when you think about what life would be like without them.
  4. Sex feels flat, and you find yourself faking it on a regular basis.
  5. Or sex is the only thing holding you and your girlfriend together. When you’re not in bed, you have nothing to talk about. Pillow talk is awkwardddd.
  6. You’ve been “wondering” what it would be like to be with other people. A lot.
  7. You need your girlfriend to dramatically change before you’ll want to be with her.
  8. You don’t talk nearly as much as you fight.
  9. You just don’t trust each other.
  10. Everything you loved about your girlfriend now makes you tear your hair out.
  11. Deal breakers – like smoking, or eating meat, or not being clean – are starting to break the deal.
  12. You’re together just so you won’t be alone.
  13. She’s no longer putting in effort, or you’re no longer putting in effort, or both.
  14. Your friends are just a little too enthusiastic when you talk about moving on.
  15. You feel like you’re going through the motions.
  16. You keep thinking about breaking up, even if you tell yourself that you never actually would.
  17. You’re just not happy, period.
  18. Your girlfriend doesn’t support you like you need her to.
  19. You can’t picture a future with her. Whenever you try, you feel bored instead of excited – maybe your skin even crawls.
  20. You compare her to your ex. Like, all the time. Even if you’re not into your ex.
  21. You feel complacent and are no longer reaching for your dreams.
  22. You find excuses to work later or go out with your friends more, anything to get away from your girlfriend a little while longer.
  23. You find yourself flirting with people you’re not really into.
  24. You secretly look for excuses to dump her, and almost wish you would find something incriminating in her phone. That would give you a good reason.
  25. Your instinct tells you to go. As my best friend says, “Follow your heart of hearts.”

Now, what do you do the first day after a breakup?

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Author
J. Marie graduated from Duke University with a degree in International Relations and dreams of being a creative writer--dreams she's now realizing as a musical theatre writer in NYC. She's passionate about global black identities, black representation in media, and leather-bound notebooks. She also loves backpacking through a new country at a moment's notice, and speaks Spanish, Swahili and Standard Arabic.

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