Competition is, simultaneously, the bane of my existence and also my guilty pleasure. Competing against others is largely a waste of time. Sure, it might motivate you to improve yourself, but if you’re always comparing yourself to other people, you’re never really going to be satisfied with yourself.
But, that’s not to say that having a competitive streak has never done any good for anyone. In fact, when you make a point to compete with yourself, you tend to find yourself inspired to try more new things, make more positive changes, and generally just live a more fulfilled life. Bringing your partner in on your team is even better, because the two of you can team up to take on all your goals – and when one of you wins, you both win.
If you and your partner are looking to get on the path to self-improvement together, why not start with a 30-day relationship challenge? Each day of this challenge is meant to bring you closer together, without straying too far out of your comfort zone. Give it a try today and see how your relationship blossoms! (Feel free to mix up the order so it fits with your schedule – just make sure you hit all the right stops eventually!)
Day One: Learn something new.
Ideally, you should kick off your challenge by signing up for a class. Your local community center may offer one-day workshops that teach you how to make a dish, how to shape pottery, or something else. If your area doesn’t offer classes like this, find a video course or tutorial online and put your new knowledge to the test!
Day Two: Switch it up.
Start your “bedroom adventures” in another room in your house – somewhere you’ve never had sex with her before. If you’ve already had sex in every room of your house, consider a (fenced) back yard or screened-in patio.
Day Three: Watch a sunset.
Go for a walk or a drive without a destination in mind. Once you’ve found the perfect spot, pull over, lay out a blanket, and watch the sun go down from the comfort of your love’s arms.
Day Four: Get fancy.
It’s time to get dressed up for that fancy restaurant you’ve been dying to go to! Pull out your most dazzling outfit, get all dolled up, and go out. If your area doesn’t have any fancy restaurants (or if you can’t fit it in the budget), opt for a supercharged night on the town instead.
Day Five: Write it down.
Write your partner a quick note telling her how you feel about her – whether it’s sweet or sexy. Leave this note somewhere she’ll find it through the course of her day. (Extra points if you make each other blush!)
Day Six: Head start.
Start your day in the fieriest way possible: With steamy morning sex. If you’re not feeling your freshest, consider morning sex in the shower. (After a little coffee, of course – shower sex injuries are real, you know.)
Day Seven: Catch up.
Stay up late talking about the things you haven’t had time to talk about lately. Whether it’s the things that have been distracting you from work, the things she did that you’re grateful for, or the things you want for the future, really take this time to get to know each other. (Try to make sure you get at least 6 hours of sleep after, though.)
Day Eight: Go out – again!
Find a local concert, show, or even karaoke night and go enjoy the cadence of other people singing. If you enjoy karaoke, feel free to join in, too – but make sure you’re giving your partner most of your attention on date night.
Day Nine: Photo shoot.
Spend the afternoon taking pictures together. You can take pictures of her, she can take pictures of you, or you can have a stranger take pictures of the two of you together. It doesn’t really matter – as long as you’re documenting how happy you feel when you’re together.
Day Ten: Road trip.
Spend the day driving around and singing along with the radio. Leave the GPS turned off (unless you get seriously lost and have to work in the morning) and just take in the scenery and the beauty of each other.
Day Eleven: Stay in.
Rent a movie (or decide on one from your streaming service) and cuddle up on the couch to watch it. If you don’t subscribe to any renting or streaming programs, get two copies of the same book – or check out KitschMix.TV for some great lesbian web shows.
Day Twelve: Surprise each other.
Each of you should do something spontaneous for the other. It’s up to you whether you choose something your partner’s been begging for in the bedroom, a spectacular night on the town, or dinner at her favorite restaurant.
Day Thirteen: Send positive vibes.
Send her happy thoughts, compliments, and sexy texts while you two are apart. Really try to reign in on what makes her smile.
Day Fourteen: PDA.
Go out somewhere specifically with the intention of showing some PDA. It doesn’t have to be anything too risqué, and if you’re worried about outing yourself, it can be somewhere away from home. Just take a few hours to soak in the thrills of being unapologetically in love.
Day Fifteen: Chef’s surprise.
Whip up something in the kitchen – without any prepared foods. Follow a recipe and try something new together, that neither of you has ever tried before!
Day Sixteen: Get clean.
Take a shower or bath together. Pay close attention to each other’s bodies, and help each other get clean. Then, if the mood strikes you, feel free to follow it up in the bedroom!
Day Seventeen: Game on.
Play a board or card game together, or challenge each other in a tournament. Just remember to keep the competition friendly!
Day Eighteen: New moves.
Look up and try a new sex position that neither of you has attempted before – the dirtier the better!
Day Nineteen: Double date.
Go on a “couple’s date” with friends. If you don’t have any couple friends, try to meet some. Get out and socialize with some people you both like – it’s worth it!
Day Twenty: Strip tease.
Now’s your chance to show off the body your partner loves! If you’re into lingerie, get something new and model it for her. If you’re more the boxers-and-sports-bra type, dress up in something spiffy and do a little dance for her.
Day Twenty-One: Get away.
Rent a hotel room or a camping space for the night, just to get away from your everyday routine. If money is tight, backyard camping is also an acceptable option. Sleep somewhere new and fresh, and don’t let your inhibitions get in the way!
Day Twenty-Two: Gratitude.
Make a list of all the reasons you love, respect, and are grateful for each other, and then share it. If you’re the artsy type, decorating and framing it is definitely an option!
Day Twenty-Three: Unplug.
Make a commitment to stay away from screens for an entire day, in favor of spending time together instead. No phones, no TV, and no computers – can you do it?
Day Twenty-Four: Reminisce and reflect.
Look through old pictures of the two of you when you first met, or bust out the childhood pictures. Let the pictures remind you of stories to tell, and spend some time being nostalgic.
Day Twenty-Five: Get active.
Find some physical activity that you both enjoy (or at least don’t totally hate) and do it together. Running, walking, tennis, and yoga are all excellent choices.
Day Twenty-Six: New-age mix tape.
Spend a little time crafting a playlist for each other, using songs that remind you of them and songs that remind you of how you feel. If you’ve got a little more time, you can also create a playlist of “your songs” – the ones that were meaningful to both of you!
Day Twenty-Seven: Give back.
Find a volunteering opportunity in your local area, and give back to your community together. (Don’t just donate money – you should be actively helping, if you can.)
Day Twenty-Eight: De-stress.
Have your own couple’s spa day – either in the comfort of your own home, or at a spa or salon. Massages, manicures, blow-outs, or facials – as long as you’re relaxing together, you’re doing great!
Day Twenty-Nine: Clean house.
Pick a room in your house and completely change it up. Rearrange the furniture, paint the walls, or just thoroughly clean up – anything that gives it a new feeling.
Day Thirty: Slow dance.
You’ve completed the 30-day relationship challenge – congratulations! Now put on some nice soft music and dance together.
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