Not all sexual adventures are great, and in a way, that’s OK. If you haven’t had bad sex, you won’t fully appreciate good sex – and if the bad sex comes after you’ve only had good sex your whole life, you’re not likely to appreciate mediocre sex in the future, when you know you could have better. Sure, sex shouldn’t be the most important thing in your life (or your relationship), but the fact is, while you’re having sex, it’s pretty much the most important thing.
I’ve had a fair amount of sex in my life. Some has been good, some has been just OK, and some has been downright horrible. (I even had one person bite me down there – like, really hard. Maybe some people are into that, but I am definitely not. Keep the teeth away!)
But what goes through your mind when you’re having wonderful, passionate, mind-blowing sex?
1. Oh my god – she gets it.
2. I don’t have to tell her what to do!
3. Should I tell her she’s doing a good job, or does she know?
4. Oh, she definitely knows.
5. This is awesome.
6. Is it normal to have an out-of-body experience while being f*cked?
7. Why did I ever settle for less?!
8. Oh yes – right there.
9. Should I scratch her back?
10. I should definitely scratch her back.
11. Oh my god.
12. Am I moaning too loud?
13. Oh, who cares – this feels incredible.
14. I wonder if she likes dirty talk.
15. I hope she doesn’t want me to return the favor right away.
16. I don’t think I can walk.
17. I don’t think I’ll ever leave this bed.
18. This is great.
19. What is she doing?!
20. I need to learn how to do that.
21. Her tongue must be magic.
22. Her tongue is definitely magic.
23. Oh my god!!
24. What was her name again?
25. Better yet, what was my name again?
26. If we break up, I’ll never have sex this good again.
27. Note to self: Keep this woman happy.
28. Like, really happy.
29. Oh my god – I’m almost there!
30. It feels like these waves are never going to end…
31. Round two already?
32. Don’t mind if I do!