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6 Drunk Conversations You’ll Have with Your Girlfriend

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When I was younger, I used to drink. Like, a lot. I even used to joke that I dropped out of school to focus on my drinking. (By the way, this isn’t a path I’d recommend – it sucked, and it took a lot of work for me to get back into school and start making smart choices.) Sometimes, it’s a lot of fun – and I definitely think it can be done responsibly.

That being said, drinking with your partner can offer its own challenges. Sometimes these challenges come with a set of rewards, but more likely, you’ll end up with more than a few headaches (and not all from hangovers). What types of conversations can you expect when you’ve been drinking with your girlfriend?


The “I don’t know how I ever lived without you” chat.

Some women get really emotional when they drink. Some women get downright lovey. In fact, if we could all show each other the same amount of love that drunk strangers in the ladies’ room show each other, the world would probably be a better place.

In the confines of a committed relationship, this can lead your partner to confess her deep, beautiful, undying love for you. This can feel really nice. It might be a little awkward, especially if you’ve never exchanged those words with each other, but as a friend from high school once told me, “Drunken words are sober thoughts”. If you’re the one she wants when she’s drunk, chances are, she thinks you’re the one.


The “I need you to take care of me” chat.

Most likely, this isn’t exactly a real conversation. This happens when one person gets completely smashed, and the other (who will generally be a nurturer) does the work to take care of them and make sure they don’t choke on their vomit in their sleep.

In many cases, the person doing the caring in this scenario is not drunk. In some cases, she may even feel the need to stay sober, in order to “babysit” her partner. (I’ve been this person a few times, and it’s just as boring as it sounds.) If the woman you’re with cares enough about you to clean up your drunk puke, don’t do anything to mess it up – she’s a keeper.


The “Your roommate is very sexy” chat.

This conversation is met with mixed reviews, largely depending on whether the relationship is exclusive or not. Most likely, the partner who initiates this conversation will be more intoxicated – or maybe she’ll bring it up because she knows the other partner is wasted. Either way, if you plan on doing anything, you’ll probably want to discuss it sober first.

I know it seems like it’s easier to talk about it when your inhibitions are lowered, but this can be a make-or-break conversation. Not all relationships are able to hold up to openness, and if you discuss it while you’re not fully aware, there’s a risk of someone forgetting the agreement once you sleep it off. Do yourselves a favor and see if you still want it in the morning light!


The “I think we should see other people” chat.

Remember how I said some women get really emotional when they drink? I’m pretty guilty of getting weepy where rum is involved. Not so bad now that I’m with a woman who comforts me, but in the past, I was with a woman who got aggressive when rum was in the picture. One of us being insensitive (her) and one of us being over-sensitive (me) was a bad combination –  and we’d break up every time.

Of course, since we always broke up when alcohol was involved, we tended to assume the alcohol was the blame, and we’d get back together once we’d sobered up (and gotten over the hangover). We’d always vow to stay away from rum after that… But every month or two, we’d break up again. If you find yourself in that type of cycle, I hate to be the one to tell you, but the alcohol probably isn’t the issue.


The “I want you right now” chat.

Maybe alcohol doesn’t affect your emotions, but it’s still going to play a role with your hormones. Some women get really, really horny when they drink. Strange enough, in my experience, these women also become incapable of pleasuring someone when they’re that drunk. I had one woman actually pass out while going down on me during a drunken escapade… Talk about awkward.

As tempting as it can be to participate in drunken sex, you’ll need to know your own limits. Not everyone can really function as well as they’d like to think they can. If you can’t stop yourself, it might be helpful to appoint your partner for that job. If the two of you know each other well, she’ll probably be able to recognize when you’ve had too much for good sex. (But just a little tipsy and the sex feels incredible – I recommend stopping after just a couple drinks, if you’re planning to get busy later!)


The conversation you can’t remember.

Undoubtedly, if you drink with your partner, there are going to be one or two conversations you simply can’t remember, no matter how hard you try. There’s nothing wrong with this, necessarily, but if you can help it, try not to bring up serious, important topics while you’re drunk – just in case you forget them in the morning.

More times than I can count, I’ve had a woman break up with me while we were drinking (while I was “playing babysitter”) and then forget all about it in the morning. This is a particularly rough type of pain, because the person who hurt you can’t even remember doing it, so how are you supposed to hold it against her?

Of course, you may find yourself having more chats that you do remember – and it’s important that you pay attention to what these mean, in terms of your relationship. Remember – drunken words are sober thoughts, so if you can read between the lines and figure out what she’s really saying, it’s important.

Not every drunken conversation will be happy, but if it seems like every one is sad, you should question things – whether your relationship with this woman, or your relationship with alcohol. (It might take removing one to find out for sure which is the bad influence.)

If, on the other hand, it seems like the two of you only get along when you’re drinking, you should try considering what that means, as well. Generally, there’s nothing wrong with enjoying a little alcohol, assuming you’re of legal age to do so in your area. But it should never be considered the glue that holds a relationship together.


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