Femme women are great, aren’t they? Whether it’s a woman who dons sundresses and flats, ball gowns and heels, or – gasp – yoga pants and tank tops, they look great. But more than just appearances, femme women are incredible for so many reasons.
In a much broader sense, all of us are amazing in some way. I doubt there’s a person on earth who hasn’t exceed expectations in a certain category, even if the category itself is deemed socially unimportant.
Although there’s no way to create a list that perfectly represents every femme woman out there, we’ve tried to compile the top 7 things that are great about femme women.
Do you have something else to add? Let us know in the comments!
Femmes usually smell nice.
Okay, so it’s not only femmes – butch women can smell nice, too. But, there’s a different kind of nice smell that usually comes from super feminine women. Maybe they smell like baby powder, or roses, or some combination of fruits. Whatever it is, the smell-good products designed for feminine women are amazing.
Femmes challenge comfort zones.
Although we love everyone within the queer community (as long as they’re nice!), femme women have the ability to “not look gay”, which is pretty frustrating at times, but can also be fun when it’s intentional. A femme woman casually dropping mention of her “girlfriend” is a conversation starter – and, love it or hate it, it’s probably not going to change any time soon.
Femmes are simultaneously the most represented and the least visible.
There’s something about femme women that, while they challenge the stereotypes of homosexuality, they’re also the most widely chosen mascots when it comes to representation. Most likely, if you’ve got a favorite lesbian on television, she’s probably a femme. This complicated blend of “represented but invisible” means that they’re going to see a number of lesbians that look just like them, but they’re probably going to assume that they’re not “really” gay. It sucks.
Femmes (usually) help you look good.
Most femme women know what looks stylish, whether it’s the “fashionable” choice or not. They can see what makes you look attractive and will encourage you to do more of that. Similarly, they want to look good themselves, so they’ll ask your opinion about how they dress, too.
Femmes don’t care about your gender roles.
This might not be true for all femme women, but most of the femme lesbians I know would rather be single than typecast into a pretty little feminine box in every category. Who says a femme lady can’t buy a butch woman flowers? Who says that a femme woman can’t wear a strap every now and then? And who says that a femme woman can’t call you on your crap if you suddenly start to fall into the typical heteronormative rules that they’re subjected to from the outside world on a daily basis?
Femmes can “blend in”.
Femme women have the incredible talent to “not look gay”. Sometimes, this holds true no matter how hard she may try to look gay – whatever that means. Femme women have the option to push their identity aside and “act straight” in a way that helps them get ahead in life. (Although that’s a lot more emotionally draining than it sounds – make sure you’re not forcing your femme girlfriends and friends to act straight if they’re not actually cool with it.)
Femmes are an important part of the queer community, too.
All people who identify as queer – whether bi, gay, lesbian, trans, ace, pan, non-binary, or any other labels you can think of – are equally important, and sometimes it’s hard not to leave out the members of the queer community who don’t “look” like members of the queer community. As much as we seek acceptance from the cishetero community, we sometimes forget that the harshest scrutiny faced by some is from within the queer community.
That’s not to say that femme lesbians are immune to the pain of homophobia and discrimination, just because they’re less likely to attract unwanted attention to it. Often, these women face pressures from other lesbians that they don’t “seem” like they’re gay – just because they don’t embrace the same stereotypes that you do. The truth is, we are all beautiful, in our own way – no one should have to be forced into a box they don’t feel they belong in.