Sometimes, the things we do in a beginning of the relationship gain a whole new meaning once we’ve been together for a while.
When you’re first starting out in your relationship, there are a million things you do to win her over. Some of these things are super cheesy (like renting her favorite movie because you think it’ll get you lucky), but others are totally sweet (like making her breakfast in bed after she’s had a long week at work). Too often, we can forget to continue these things once the relationship becomes serious – but in a way, they’re even more important then!
1. Buy her favorite movie.
Originally I thought of saying “rent” her favorite movie, but then I realized I’m old and most people don’t exactly rent movies anymore. But if her favorite movie is an old classic (one that’s been out for a while) and she doesn’t own it yet, why not pick it up for her? Most movies that have been out for a few years are pretty inexpensive now – the way the movie industry is moving forward, they know that most people are using streaming services, so actually having a physical copy of the movie will be super sweet.
If it’s a newer movie, or just one she really, really wants to see (and you missed seeing it in theaters), consider trying Redbox or other similar movie rental kiosks in your area. They aren’t everywhere yet, but in the United States at least they’re getting close, and they’re quickly cementing their place as a replacement for actual rental stores. Plus, they’re a lot cheaper than the old stores used to be, because they don’t have to pay someone to staff them 12 hours a day. It’s a win-win!
2. Make her breakfast in bed.
In the beginning of a relationship, if we make our partner breakfast in bed, it’s usually because we’re hoping for some type of “bonus points” for our thoughtfulness. However, if this continues further into the relationship, it’s sure to woo your partner. After all, who doesn’t like being treated like royalty every now and then?
Obviously, you probably won’t be making her breakfast in bed if you can’t cook, but there are other options that can be just as cute. Consider going to her favorite coffee shop and picking her up a scone and a latte (or whatever her preference is). It’ll show her that you care and that you want her day to start off on the right foot.
3. Do the dishes for her.
I can’t stress enough how many times I’ve just wished that my partner would help with little things around the house. It might seem boring and not romantic, but think of it another way: You taking the time to do something simple for her eliminates something off her to-do list – something that she doesn’t really have to do herself. You can’t exactly take over her job for her, and you can’t take her showers for her, but the gesture of doing one of her household chores when she’s stressed is sure to be appreciated.
Of course, I’m using “the dishes” as a blanket term here. It can mean the laundry, it can mean taking out the trash, or even taking the dog for a walk. Basically, your goal is to help make her day go a little smoother by surprising her with something she’d otherwise have to do on her own. Not everyone is cut out for domestic work, and that’s okay. Your efforts will be appreciated even if in small doses.
4. Rub her back and shoulders.
In the beginning of a relationship, massages are usually used as a foreplay tactic. (I don’t know about you, but for me it’s a pretty effective one, actually.) However, as the relationship progresses, sex becomes a little less important – and we still have kinks and knots that have to be rubbed out!
If you sense that your partner is under an inordinate amount of stress, consider gently rubbing her back and shoulders. It might lead to sex, or it might not, but I can’t think of a single person who doesn’t love a good massage. Even if you’re not a pro, just the thought that you put into doing it for her without her having to ask will go a long way.
5. Draw her a picture.
My girlfriend happens to be a brilliant artist. Not all women are, and that’s okay – I’ve been with girls who were just OK, and I still keep some of the pictures they drew for me. Why? Because it’s a symbol that someone put their time and effort into making something just for me, and that makes us feel special inside!
Even if you’re not a great artist, a little cartoon doodle will be cute and meaningful. Your girlfriend will see your doodles as a symbol of your love, and she will treasure them. (And if you can manage to make a stick-figure representation of foreplay, somehow, this may even turn into a sexy inside joke between the two of you.)
6. Pick her flowers.
Most people think that buying flowers is the way to go – but I personally don’t like the idea of buying flowers. I’m a bit of a free spirit, and I think that the mass-produced floral arrangements that you find in a shop seem to imply that you’ve done something wrong. A nicely picked bouquet of wildflowers (if they’re legal to pick in your area) or flowers from your own yard, on the other hand, says “I love you, and the beauty of these flowers made me think of your beauty.”
Don’t think that this is limited to femmes, either! My girlfriend is incredibly masculine, but she still grins from ear to ear when I leave her small hand-picked floral gifts. There’s something programmed in us to be happy with gifts, especially if those gifts have beauty to them. And chances are, if your girlfriend is a stud, no one may have brought her flowers before – isn’t it nice to be the first at something?
7. Write her love letters.
Obviously, as a writer, I am fond of the written word on a page. “Love letters” can mean many things – they don’t have to be long and fancy. In fact, a simple sticky note with “I love you” written on it can do wonders for a woman who needs a little reminder of how she makes you feel.
It doesn’t have to be on paper, either. My girlfriend has sent me spontaneous text messages when we were apart that made me feel valued and missed, and I treasure these. Your girlfriend will, too – it’s the thought that counts, and knowing that she’s in your thoughts will warm her heart.
Do you think there’s anything I missed? What cute little tokens of your affection do you do for your partner that started in your early courtship, but continue now? I want to hear your ideas in the comments!