When’s the last time you and your girlfriend sat down and had a serious talk about your sex life? Chances are, it’s probably been a little too long. Most of us aren’t comfortable discussing our sexual needs with one another, which really is unfortunate. After all, you’re not a mind reader, and neither is your partner – how are you supposed to know what remains unsaid?

Thankfully, even though we all have different criteria, there are 8 main things that all women want – and you may be skimping on the things your girlfriend needs the most. How many are you keeping up on?

Creativity.

One of the fastest ways to let your sex life get stagnant is to do the same thing every time. Mix it up a little bit! Try new things! Maybe even get some costumes, or adopt an alter-ego. It’s fine to have your favorite positions, but if you limit yourself to just the favorites, you could be missing out on your new favorite, so don’t be afraid to step outside your comfort zone.

Enthusiasm.

One of the most important aspects of a great sexual experience, but also one of the most overlooked, is the excitement between the partners involved. In any sexual interaction, all parties should be 100% on board with and sufficiently aroused by the thought of what’s about to happen. Enthusiasm isn’t going to do all the work for you, but it should be there before you get started.

Foreplay.

Even if your girlfriend doesn’t think she needs it, spending proper time on foreplay makes all the difference. Women who can’t get off from direct stimulation obviously receive the most benefit from the extra attention, since they need a little more to get the job done. But women who do orgasm just from direct stimulation receive a nice surprise, too – there’s a whole new world once you start adding in the extras. And, more foreplay without focusing on reaching orgasm has its own benefits, too – like a closer, more intimate relationship, and increased sexual excitement. You’re welcome.

Honesty.

For most women, this is the single most important facet of our sexual relationships: The degree to which we can trust our sexual partner(s). After all, honesty is the line drawn between “open relationships” and “affairs”, as well as the line between a fake orgasm and a real one. Without honesty between sexual partners, the risk of STDs and broken hearts rises exponentially, so it’s important to remember that your choices affect her, too.

Input.

There’s this joke that sex is like pizza – even when it’s bad, it’s still pretty good. For the most part, that’s true, too – unless you’re not communicating with your partner during sex. You don’t have to toss out pornstar moans or narrate every second, but there should be some feedback to let her know you’re enjoying yourself – or, if you’re not enjoying yourself, how she can fix that. Even seasoned pros need a little reassurance sometimes, so make sure you’re not just lying there quietly.

Privacy.

We all have that one friend whose mere presence in our life incites a sense of constant gossip. Somehow, this friend even manages to convince us to gossip about ourselves and our relationships. In the heat of the conversation, we sometimes forget that we’re not the only person we’re gossiping about. It’s hard to avoid the trap every time, but try to keep a little privacy surrounding your sex life – if they weren’t there, it’s not their business.

Romance.

I understand that it’s easy to forget the “love” part of “making love” after a few years – we get caught up in life and forget to make time for our partner. While you should be trying to show affection outside of the bedroom, too, one of the easiest places to incorporate the romance is right into your sexual routine! Every now and then, opt for candlelight, slow jams, and total dedication – it creates an entirely different experience.

You.

Finally, one of the most important things to remember about what your partner wants in the bedroom is that she wants you – otherwise she wouldn’t be having sex with you. When things start to get a little rocky, it’s easy to jump to the conclusion that there’s something wrong with us, but more often than not, that’s just our self-esteem kicking us in the ass. Most women won’t have sex with someone they’re not into, so just the fact that she’s there should help calm your nerves and settle any nerves. Confidence is sexy – so own it!

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