Humans are not know for their patience. In fact, the entire evolution of modern technology has pretty much revolved around one main premise: eliminate waiting time.
We live in a era of instant gratification. However, patience is still, and will always be, a virtue. And just because certain things may come to you quicker, it doesn’t always translate positively to quality.
According to Jeanna Bryner of LiveScience, “delaying sex makes better relationships,” as studies show.
Couples who had sex the earliest – such as after the first date or within the first month of dating – had the worst relationship outcomes,”
Results of one study conducted by researcher Dean Busby and his colleagues at Brigham Young University’s School of Family Life, concluded the reasoning behind this belief is once sex is introduced in the early stages of a relationship.
… [this] rewarding area of the relationship overwhelms good decision-making and keeps couples in a relationship that might not be the best for them in the long run.”
Sex early in relationships, as Bryner writes, skews focus away from vital aspects such as communication and commitment, due to the instant pleasure that comes with sex.
Susanne Alexander, a relationship coach, told WebMD,
It becomes much more difficult to objectively see each other’s character traits [when sex is introduced early].”
The sex might be the driving force behind the first few months of your relationship, but when you actually start to discover the more nonsexual aspects of your significant other, you may realize this person is not who you thought she was.
According to Bryner research,
Relationships fared better and better the longer a person waited to have sex, up until marriage, with those hitting the sack before a month showing the worst outcomes.”
Statistics showed when compared to the “early” group, those who waited until marriage rated:
- Relationship stability 22% higher.
- Relationship satisfaction 20% higher.
- Sexual quality 15% better.
- Communication 12% better.
Busby reported while 40% of couples are “essentially sexual” within the first two dates, when individually asked if they could trust their significant others with their pets for the weekend, “many could not answer this in the affirmative.”
This shows the lack of true trust between a great deal of sexual partners, today.
Of course, waiting until marriage is a bit extreme, but still, these statistics do present a strong case for waiting — however long you choose to — instead of rushing right into sex. Ultimately, sex requires maturity, as do relationships.
Part of maturity is knowing what’s best for the big picture, regardless of impulsive desires.