Author Archives: Gemma Middleton

About Gemma Middleton

I'm a writer, film maker, producer and a self believer. I live with my girlfriend and two children in Valencia, Spain and I write as I live my life. With passion, honesty and full of fun.

15 Times That Cara Delevingne Was The Anti – Celebrity We Needed

We can’t help but love Cara Delevingne. Some of her comments and actions are just laugh out loud funny, or a face palm of an OMG when you just can’t believe she actually said that out loud.

Here is a collection of her most famous antics that drove the media and her fans crazy.

1. She got naked in a forest

Only Cara would choose to get naked and not care one iota who saw her. She told Konan in an interview that in order to get into character for Suicide Squad:

I was in a forest and it was a full moon so I got naked.” How many of us would’ve loved to have seen those pics?

2. When she joined the Mile High Club

Not one to miss out on an opportunity to have some fun, Cara told LOVE magazine that:

I have had sex on a plane lots. But I always get caught.”

I bet the air hostesses or fellow passengers that caught her had open mouths at seeing that.

3. Her inbuilt nipple detector

Cara announced in an interview while promoting Suicide Squad that she has an unusual talent for finding nipples. The mind boggles at that one.

4. The people she texts when drunk

Apparently when Cara is drunk she texts Margot Robbie and none other than Prince Harry. They have been friends for years and are text pals as well. Exactly what one says to Royalty when drunk can only be left up to our vivid imaginations.

5. That awkward interview

Cara once gave an interview to an American Breakfast Programme and announced that presenters were irritating. In her usual sarcastic tone, the interview quickly went from uncomfortable to just plain awkward in less than a few minutes. I don’t think they will rush to invite her back, somehow.

6. Pulling a prank on the Haim Sisters and Kesha

While celebrating 4^th July at Taylor Swifts house Cara revealed she pranked the Haim’s and Kesha which risked security and could’ve ended up with the police being called. Only Cara would do this and not give a damn about it.

7. Twittering Cara style

Richard Madden, the Game of Thrones actor, once bad mouthed Cara in an interview so Cara tweeted him publically and called him ‘desperate’.

8. She makes funny faces.

Fact: There is nothing—nothing—more charming than pretty girls making funny faces.

9. She’s also, by the way, very pretty.

10. She’s a fearless photobomber.

11. She can beatbox.

12. When she dances, it looks like noodles.

She’s like the kid at the ballet recital who doesn’t know the steps.

13. Her openness about her sexuality

Cara has always been open and frank about her sexuality and she is always gushing over her girlfriend, St Vincent. One of her best quotes has to be:

I’m gay because I’m too crazy for men.”

You tell it like it is, gal.

14. Her friendship with Kate Moss

We may never be done thinking about that one Burberry shoot where she and Kate Moss unbuttoned their coats and stood naked, pressed together in a warm Burberry rain.

15. Her menstration xonvo with Seth Meyers

Most women get a tad embarrassed when it’s our time of the month, but not Cara. During an interview with Seth Myers they were discussing a fashion shoot she once had with a bear. So Cara announces:

If I was on my period it wouldn’t have been allowed because the Bear would smell my blood.”

Ewww, thanks for sharing that one with us.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fLNwyNs_Jl0

Please don’t change Cara. We love your sassy attitude!

Kirsten Stewart Remains Grounded As She Discusses Mental Health, Fame And Sexuality.

How can we not all endear to the fabulous Kirsten Stewart? We’ve seen her get slated and praised by the media, avidly read about her turbulent love life, punched the air in joy when she started hinting about her sexuality and soon her latest film Café Society, directed by Hollywood Legend Woody Allen will hit the big screen.

So what does it really mean to be Kirsten Stewart? Well, in her most frank interview to date with Elle UK Magazine, due to appear on the shelves in Septembers issue, she candidly opens up about her own battle with Obsessive Compulsive disorder and acute anxiety, common mental health problems that many people suffer from.

Kirsten discloses to Elle that in the past she has suffered from anxiety so badly that it affected her everyday life.

I went through so much stress and periods of strife. I would have panic attacks…I literally always had a stomach ache. And I was a control freak and I couldn’t anticipate what was going to happen in a given situation, so I’d be like, ‘Maybe I’m going to get sick’… It’s kind of remarkable.”

Luckily though she managed to overcome this as she learned to deal with things a bit better.

I just grew out of it, but that’s not to say I don’t get worried.”

K- Stew hasn’t just dealt with anxiety issues either. She even revealed her own personal battle against OCD, or Obsessive Compulsive Disorder as it’s also known as.

This common mental health issue leaves sufferers with an intense urge to repeat the same behaviours over and over again such as hand washing or continually checking the light switches are turned off before leaving the house for example. She also goes on to say that she does now manage to control it.

As I am getting older I’m going into my OCD. If things are a mess, I feel like I have lost everything. So I procrastinate by tidying, which is so stupid. I changed, that’s the thing – at a certain time point I realised that the fear was death, but I had gone through so much that did not kill me… sorry, I know that sounds dramatic … I realise the anxiety just ran out. I didn’t have the energy to do that anymore.”

Bringing awareness to one’s own mental health issues is a very courageous thing to do and if there is one thing to be said about Kristen it’s the fact that she really is brave.

Even back in 2010 when she was still in her teens she opened up about the pressure of dealing with fame and how the downside was often worse than the upside, especially when she mentioned about dealing with negative press and how she would base her persona on all the things that had been said about her. She also mentioned the fact that people would think she was bad tempered or moody and commented:

What you don’t see are the cameras shoved in my face and the bizarre intrusive questions being asked, or the people falling over themselves, screaming and taunting to get a reaction. All you see is an actor or a celebrity lit up but a flash. A lot of the time I can’t handle it. It’s f**ked. I never expected that this would be my life.”

Very wise and surprisingly open words for a teen in all honesty. And that’s not all this very real woman has talked frankly about. Back last year during an interview with Nylon she touched upon her own sexuality but without defining herself with any kind of label. She smacked labels totally in fact by stating:

Google me, I’m not hiding. If you feel like you really want to define yourself, and you have the ability to articulate those parameters and that in itself defines you, then do it. But I am an actress, man.

I live in the fucking ambiguity of this life and I love it. I don’t feel like it would be true for me to be like, ‘I’m coming out!’ No, I do a job. Until I decide that I’m starting a foundation or that I have some perspective or opinion that other people should be receiving… I don’t. I’m just a kid making movies.”

Recently however she seems more comfortable with using terms like ‘Girlfriend’ and ‘in love.’ She has openly told the press about her long term partner Alicia Cargile and gushed:

Right now I’m just really in love with my girlfriend. We’ve broken up a couple of times and gotten back together, and this time I was like, ‘Finally, I can feel again.'”

Along with this she has often posted pictures of herself and Alicia on her Twitter page, much to her fan’s delight and when asked why she decided to be more open about her relationship she stated in a way only K- Stew can:

When I was dating a guy I was hiding everything that I did because everything personal felt like it was immediately trivialised, so I didn’t like it. We were turned into these characters and placed into this ridiculous comic book. But then it changed when I started dating a girl. I was like, ‘Actually, to hide this provides the implication that I’m not down with it or I’m ashamed of it, so I had to alter how I approached being in public. It opened my life up and I’m so much happier.'”

We all think this gal has it going down totally. She’s not afraid to speak her mind, speak out about mental health issues and open up about her own sexuality.

For a twenty-something woman who has spent nearly twenty years in the public eye she has overcome more than her fair share of obstacles and yet her career continues to grow, her openness continues to grow and our love for her continues to grow.

Keep on going as you are K- Stew, we think you are fabulous.

What’s Happened To Our Lez Bars?

Has anyone else noticed recently how our lesbian hangouts seem to be getting less and less? I remember my last trip to London about 4 years ago and of course where is the first place I head for?

The Candy Bar no less. It was one of the most popular Lesbian bars around in London but 3 years ago it shut its doors, despite the amount of women that used to hang out there.

It seems that this is something happening all over and especially in the United States. There are still many Gay bars that have ‘Ladies Nights’ but why are Gay bars thriving and popping up everywhere but our friendly ladies’ haunts are disappearing at a rate of knots? Apparently there are now only 3 lez bars in NYC and one woman, Oliva, also from NYC told Cosmopolitan:

I think it’s hard for femme-presenting women to find an LGBT space where they feel legitimate — I often feel like people don’t believe that I’m queer and I also feel like most LGBT spaces are dominated by gay men.”

It’s really looking like our own LGBTQ community are still seeing woman as less important than men. Another woman, Becky, also told Cosmo:

There has often been a misogynistic attitude that I’ve felt from male-dominated queer spaces. “Often, LGBTQ women aren’t taken as seriously as LGBTQ men because it’s believed women are more fluid in sexuality and thus not reliably LGBTQ. I think this stems from institutionalized misogyny and the constant sexualisation of women.”

Umph, now this is not good. Women get the rough end of the deal all the time and it’s hard enough fighting for our rights in a predominately hetro society, not alone having to fight for our rights in our own community.

Last year a documentary titled ‘The Last Lesbian Bars’ highlighted this issue and Jack Halberstam, a professor of gender studies at the University of California stated that:

Even back in the ’50s and ’60s, which some people consider to be a golden age of lesbian bars, it was often community formation as much as it was hooking up.”

That’s so true. Lez bars are a place we can also go and feel comfortable, safe, and, as an extra benefit, meet like-minded women that we might just want to share a tequila with at the end of the eening. Earlier this year a dating app for queer women, HER, carried out a poll with 3000 women and asked them how they specifically felt at events during Pride month in June. The survey found that many women felt unwelcome despite the fact Pride is supposed to cater for the entire LGBTQ community. When women were asked to explain why this was many responded with:

I feel things are more catered for Gay men.”

I for one am not happy with the fact we are losing our own lez bars that are men free zones. Not because we don’t like men, but because it’s only fair we also have our own space to hang out with and are able to celebrate who we are freely only with other women. I guess we just have to hope that the Lez bars make a come-back because us ladies deserve a place of our own.

Why Straight Gals Love to Watch Gay Gal Porn.

It’s always been presumed that mainly men like to watch porn, specifically lez porn, but according to statistics, a quarter of Pornhub (an internet porn site) viewers are women and one in three women enjoy watching porn at least once a week.

Some Glamour magazine readers share what type of porn they like watching and the reasons why it turns them on.

Mostly lesbian porn and female masturbation. On occasion, gay or some soft hetero porn. Some decent amateur is preferable, because, well, at least it sets a feeling of some real process. Why mostly women? It’s impossible to avoid the male gaze here, but at least I can relate to female sex, if it doesn’t look too simulated. With hetero sex, it’s much harder because it’s still focused on women but purely in giving blow jobs and other things, which is not why I’d watch it.” —Jean, 23

So this reader likes the fact that she can relate to female sex because it’s not so simulated and she doesn’t get turned on watching a woman give a blow job. Yep, I can relate to that one.

I watch lesbian porn, primarily because I am very explorative to my sexuality. I love the concept of being able to fantasize over pleasuring someone with the same body type I do because I know it better. I feel it provides more realistic senses in the imagination, rather than being turned on by man-on-woman porn, due to the fact that there are positions I can’t relate to or that don’t work for me. It turns off my whole groove.” —Diana, 20

I have had straight women make comments like this to me. They say things such as ‘a woman knows what a woman wants’ or ‘I like watching two women just to see exactly what they do together.’

I usually like lesbian porn, though I’m a straight woman. I just find the prospect of a random penis very jarring, and the conduct between men and women in porn so often plays on power imbalances that make me uncomfortable. I like amateur porn the best, but it’s harder to find without going really weird places on the Internet. I get most of my porn from GIFs and short videos on Tumblr. I like lesbian porn because I don’t find women threatening, and the women in porn aren’t usually being threatened (I don’t watch that kind). I tell myself that while I know the orgasms are fake, at least the women aren’t being hurt in the process. Women being hurt, threatened, or taken advantage of is a huge turn-off.” —Anna, 25

So Anna likes the fact she doesn’t find women threatening in lez porn. It’s strange though that she thinks the orgasms are fake. I once interviewed a female porn star for an article I was writing and she told me that on occasion, and more so with a woman, she would orgasm during the sex.

A gay woman also gave her opinion on what porn she likes to watch:

I like straight porn even though I’m gay. I usually watch ones that look as if the woman is having a good time. For me, it’s really important to see that she is enjoying the process. What turns me on, I think, is sort of the empathy. When you see something happening, you physically respond to what’s happening. I have never seen real lesbian porn except for ones that are made for the male gaze.” —Tanya, 27

It seems that many of us prefer to watch the opposite of our usual sexual orientation when looking at porn. Perhaps it’s because it’s something different than we do in real life which makes it easier to get turned on by and get into the fantasy?

10 Queer TV Shows You Should Be Binge Watching Now

What does one do when the nights start to get cooler and darker as Autumn starts setting in? Easy peasy, we catch up on all the episodes we’ve missed of our fave TV shows and binge watch them all from start to finish, or, we watch our favourite re-runs again and remind ourselves of the characters we loved a few moons ago.

1. Jessica Jones

Having just finished its 1^st season, Jessica Jones features Marvels first super hero lesbian, Jeri Hogarth, who works alongside Jessica Jones as a private investigator. It’s received rave reviews for its queer inclusivity and sexual positivity. Plus, both women are total badasses and sexy as hell.

2. Miss Fisher’s Murder Mysteries

This show will soon be approaching season 4 and tells the adventures of Phryne, a private investigator who is sassy and bold. It’s set in the 1920’s but the absolute lez delight is Doc, who Phryne often has to call upon to get her medical advice.

3. Master of None

Master of none is just preparing to go into its 2^nd season later this year, so now is the time to binge watch all the episodes that you’ve missed so far. The show tells the tale of young artists struggling to survive in a big city. Denise is character who is a woman of colour and openly gay and she’s super funny.

4. Wentworth

The 4^th season has just finished and oh how we sobbed at the finale, which we won’t tell you in case you haven’t watched it! There are a few lez characters in this series about life in a woman’s prison, the most prominent being Franky Doyle. However, we get a great treat in season 4 as a previous heterosexual character falls in love with a fellow inmate and explores her bisexual side.

5. Orange is the New Black

This series is also based in a woman’s prison and has two prominent lez characters in it, Piper and Alex but again, other gay females pop up occasionally as well. It’s really funny and follows Pipers turbulent on/off relationship with Alex as well as explore how she adjusts to life behind bars.

6. The L Word

The L word did more positivity for Lesbians than any other TV show to date. Who can forget falling in lust with the naughty Shane, or how we rooted that Bette and Tina would reconnect after all their problems? If you haven’t ever watched the L word then it’s a must, but if you have, recapture those glowing moments and feast on all 6 seasons again.

7. Last Tango in Halifax

This British TV show is really funny and not only features a prominent Lesbian character but also examines love later on in life. An elderly couple once dated in the 1950’s and reconnect via social media and one of their daughters falls in love with a woman after dating men all her life. It’s definitely worth a second viewing or if you’ve never seen it before you’re in for a real treat.

8. Pretty Little Liars

Well, Pretty Little Liars is now half way through Season 7 so now is your chance to catch up on everything you missed over the summer, or binge out on all the series and become an instant fan. There are many lesbian characters in the series and the lead character herself is gay. The show is smart, creepy and feminist and season 7 has to be one of the best yet.

9. Lost Girl

Oh how we fell in lust with Bo, our favourite bisexual succubus ever known. OK, probably the only one we’ve ever known but this show was so fabulous that all 5 seasons deserves a re watch and if you have never watched it before its worth every hour of your viewing time.

10. Bomb Girls

Bomb Girls only ran for 2 seasons but every episode was a complete gem. Set in Canada during World War 2 the story is about a group of women that work in a bomb making factory while their husbands are fighting in the war. One of the lead characters, Betty, is amazing as a semi butch lesbian who makes no qualms about what or who she is. This programme was just fabulous and deserves to be watched time and time again.

There’s Just No Denying It, Lesbians Are Addicted To Love.

OK Chicas, wait for it, lesbians are apparently at a higher risk of love addiction, and no, this is not just an excuse to justify our behaviour when we act in a way that our heterosexual counterparts call ‘rushing into things.’

No way, I hear you cry! Us? Lesbians? You mean when we declare undying love to each other after two dates and are willing to move to the other side of the country to be with our princess charming by the third, this is called a love addiction? Yep, I’m afraid so guys. This is just some idiosyncrasy only I do, says that little voice of reasoning in your head. Not all lesbians are like me, surely?

Sorry girls, we are all guilty of this weird phenomenon. I’m sure if we were all completely honest with each other every single one of us has rushed a new relationship forwards well before we should’ve done. But fear not, we are not a bunch of addictive personality types with serious mental health issues, we actually have an excuse for it.

According to Dr. Lauren. D. Costine, author of the book ‘Lesbian Love Addiction: Understanding the Urge to Merge,’ the reason for this (hmm) behaviour is due to the fact women release the feel good chemicals oxytocin and dopamine when they start to have feelings for someone. Dopamine is actually a feel good chemical so it’s the same effect as being intoxicated. Put two women together both feeling like this and you have your explanation as to why we want to rush into things so quickly and start nesting.

In an interview with Psych central, Dr. Costine, who is also a lesbian and psychologist, stated that women’s brains are wired to connect quickly to others for survival purposes. So, when we feel like we want hers and hers matching coffee mugs and matching gay pride tee’s there is a method behind our madness. We are surviving.

But of course, with every high comes the low. And this is where we basically crash and burn. Eventually the Dopamine subsides as we get more familiar with each other, the oxytocin disappears back into the nether regions of our brain and what are we left with? Usually a disaster of mammoth proportions where we look at our partner with loathing rather than love and despair rather than desire. Then the reality hits home that this relationship was not meant to be and we smash our hers and hers coffee cups and set fire to our matching tees.

However, I’m a firm believer in forewarned is forearmed so take heed. The next time you enter into a new relationship try and fight those pesky chemicals encouraging you to declare your undying love or start looking at lez wedding venues and take a step back. Taking things slow does have its advantages. It means you get to look at the person for real and not in a ‘brain induced haze.’ This can only be a good thing and will save you so much heartache in the future. If you really have met your princess charming I promise you she will still be there in a year’s time and you will never look at her with distain or loathing. Then you know you are truly in love and ready to consider your future together in a level headed and non-chemical induced manner.

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Research Suggests You’ll Have To Wait Until You’re 30 Before You Fall In Love

According to a group of researchers who set out to discover milestone’s in people’s lives, we have to hit our 30’s before we find happiness and success. The survey was carried out in the UK and involved 2000 participants who averaged that we are healthiest at 30 and more confident with our bodies by the time we hit 31.

In all honesty this doesn’t surprise me because women often change their careers a few times, full in love a few times and change our minds 100’s of times about many things before we are sure about what we want. Perhaps it’s because women have so many more options now regarding their lifestyle and career choices and we explore different paths until we know for sure exactly what we want?

The research suggests we are best at sex by the age of 32 and the happiest in our relationships when we hit 40. Well that doesn’t sound too bad to me. If sex is quite good for you now in your 20’s, imagine how good it will be in your 30’s! ON a not so great note we reach the peak of our careers around the age of 38 and earn our dream salary at the age of 42. Darn, I want that now, now, now!

Robert Waldinger, a clinical professor of psychiatry at Harvard Medical School has devoted his career to an area of research called ‘the pursuit of happiness.’ The study has been going on for 75 years and he is an expert on what gives us contentment, regardless of our profession or social status. During a talk about the research he said that:

“Good relationships keep us healthier and happier, period.”

Well girls, if you haven’t found true love and contentment yet, don’t despair, it’s on its way! And if you already feel happy and contented in your career and love life, imagine how great you are going to feel by the time you hit 40 and it’s even better? So in the meantime, let’s enjoy changing our minds, growing in confidence and finding true love.

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10 Awesome Queer Women We’ve Been Rooting For At Rio 2016

Apparently there are double the amount of out LGBT athletes competing in Rio this year compared to the 2012 London Olympics and the majority of them are gay women.

So, we have compiled a list of our top 10 favourites for you to all look out for.

Put those tongues away ladies, these gals have got medals to win.

1. Elena Delle Donne

Elena is 26, a basketball player, and is representing the USA. She only recently came out as gay in the August issue of Vogue. What a complete babe she is and her partner, Amanda Clifton, must be very proud indeed.

2. Seimone Augustus

Seimone is 32 and a 2014 Basketball World Champion as well as a two-time gold medallist as well. Seimone married her wife Lataya Varner in 2015 and is sure to give her best in Rio this year. Go girl!

3. Kate and Helen Richardson-Walsh

These two just have to be one of the sweetest married lez couples in sport. They both play Hockey for the UK team and married in 2013. They secured the bronze medal in London 2012 and have every chance of bringing it home together this year.

4. Larissa Franca

Larissa is a beach volleyball player and will be representing Brazil. She married her wife, Liliane Maestrini in 2013. Larissa is the 2012 Olympic Bronze medallist and 2011 World Champion so she is sure to do well again this year.

5. Megan Rapinoe

Super cute Megan plays Woman’s soccer for team USA. She recently got engaged to her girlfriend, singer/songwriter Sera Cahoone. The team are the world cup champions and it would be amazing if they could take home the Olympic gold as well. Do your best Megan, we’re all right behind you!

6. Hedvig Lindahl

Hedvig represents Sweden in women’s soccer and she is their goalkeeper. She has a wife and a son who apparently go with her when she plays and cheer her on from the side-lines. We’re cheering you as well, Hedvig.

7. Ashley Nee

Ashley is a little cutie and at 27 years old she represents the USA in kayaking. She is married to Ashley McEwen and they got married on the Potomac River where Ashley first learnt how to paddle. That’s just so darn super cute and gives us all a warm, fuzzy glow.

8. Katie Duncan

Katie represents New Zealand in the football team. Her wife Priscilla is also a New Zealand footballer. Before Katie left for Rio she shaved her head for charity so not only is she super sexy she’s also super kind as well.

9. Michelle Heyman

Michelle is a striker for Australia and this is her first Olympic Games appearance. She is 28 and also sports some of the coolest tats ever. She said in an interview once that she has always been out and proud and when she returns from Rio she is going to get some Olympic Rings tattooed on her body somewhere as a memento.

10. Nadine Muller

Nadine is a discus thrower representing Germany and has never earned an Olympic Medal so now is her chance. She married her wife on New Year’s Eve in 2013 and announced it publically on Facebook. We all hope she will be throwing her discus as far as possible with those awesome biceps of hers flexing away.

Lesbian Couple Challenges Insurance Bar To Fertility Treatment

A married lesbian couple, Erin and Marianne Krupa, decided to try for a baby a few years ago but discovered Erin, who was to carry the baby, had fertility problems.

Her doctor told her that she had benign cysts on her uterus and endometriosis which had left her infertile.

Her doctor assured her that her health insurance would pay for her fertility treatment, but the company, Horizon Blue Cross Blue Shield refused.

The company told the couple that one of their insurance mandate of 2001 stated that women under the age of 35, no matter what their sexual orientation, had to demonstrate infertility by having two years of unprotected sexual intercourse.

The Krupa’s and another unnamed couple are now suing the commissioner of the New Jersey Department of Banking and Insurance because they claim the mandate discriminates against lesbian women forcing infertile gay women to pay for their own procedures in order to get pregnant.

Grace Cretcher, the lawyer acting on behalf of the women, states that the mandate violates the constitutional rights of non-heterosexual women who are obviously unable to prove their infertility simply by having unprotected sexual intercourse.

15 states now legally require insurance companies to cover fertility treatment and California and Maryland have updated their mandates to require fertility coverage regardless of sexual orientation.

Dr William Zieglar, a medical director of the reproduction science centre in New Jersey, said that the mandate that require proof of infertility has not been thought out well enough as gay women are unable to have a baby in the same way a heterosexual couple can because they do not have the same biological equipment.

Discrimination is still happening in many areas and the only way these discriminations can be overcome is to make people aware of them. This mandate is over 15 years old and is well overdue an update that should include gay women having the right to medical treatment if they are infertile.

Giving this right to a heterosexual woman and not a gay woman is an act of discrimination that shouldn’t be allowed to happen.

Body Positive: Female Olympians Pose Nude To Celebrate Their Bodies That Got Them To Rio.

In an article published in Woman’s Health Magazine 2016 Naked Issue, these gorgeous gals take off their rugby kit before leaving for Rio in order to promote body confidence and learning to love your body no matter what shape, size or colour it comes in.

Five members of the England Women’s Rugby Sevens Team. Pictured from left: Heather Fisher, Amy Wilson-Hardy, Michaela Staniford, Danielle Waterman and Claire Allan.

The women join a host of other stars for Woman’s Health Magazine and discuss their battles with body issues and how they learnt to love their bodies for what they helped them achieve rather than how they looked. It sometimes surprises me that gorgeous women in the limelight also have the same body issues as the rest of us. I personally think every one of these women are droolishous and have beautiful bodies as well as attractive faces.

Fullback Danielle Waterman explains how she learnt to love her strong body.

I’ll always remember trying on my prom dress and being upset at how broad and muscular I was.”

“It was my Brother who pointed out that my build was the very thing that would help me achieve my dreams of playing pro rugby for England.”

Well done Danielle’s Brother. One of her other teammates, flanker Heather Fisher, who also suffers from Alopecia, explains how hard it was for her when her shape changed dramatically after she changed from being an Olympic Bobsleigher to a rugby player.

My shoulders shrank and my legs got bigger. But I don’t train to look good; simply to be effective.”

These women are quite simply an inspiration to us all and can give us all a positive attitude towards our bodies. Don’t focus on the flaws and our perceptions of what looks good or attractive, let’s celebrate our bodies for what they can do and help us achieve. Good luck in Rio guys, we’re all right behind you.

How Old Is Too Old For A Safe Pregnancy?

Many women now opt to have children when they are in their 30’s and 40’s and some women are choosing to wait until they are in their 50’s. Some women prefer to travel and enjoy their career before making the decision to have a baby, but what are the dangers?

Last month scientists announced they had discovered a way to reverse the menopause and rejuvenating women’s ovaries which means later life pregnancies could become a definite possibility. A few weeks ago an Australian woman gave birth at the age of 62 with the help of IVF and it has raised the debate again of whether a woman should have a baby at such a later stage in her life.

A woman’s ability to conceive naturally lessons as she get’s older. Our eggs are stored in our ovaries and released every month when we menstruate. Apparently around 400 eggs are released monthly until the 4 million we started with are all gone and we hit the menopause.

The number of women having children in their 30’s has doubled over the last 25 years when it was more common for women to get pregnant in their 20’s. So what are the risks getting pregnant later on in life?

Apparently women over the age of 30 are twice as likely to suffer from complications such as pre-eclampsia (life threatening high blood pressure) and twice as likely to have gestational diabetes. The risk of dying during pregnancy or Childbirth increases along with the risk of the unborn baby having downs syndrome and more than half of women aged 40 or over need a caesarean and can’t give birth naturally which can cause complications for both mother and unborn child.

These risks get worse when a woman waits until she is in her 40’s or 50’s. Mothers in this age group are 5 to 6 times more likely to die after the first few weeks of giving birth compared to younger mothers. There is also more chance a woman will have a miscarriage than a live birth in this age bracket and babies born to mothers of this age are 2 times more likely to be born prematurely and have a low birth rate.

IVF is an option many women take when deciding to have a baby later on in life as it can give a greater chance of success, especially if the woman has gone through or is going through the menopause. The woman can take a donor egg and embryo from a younger, fertile woman which gives her a better chance of getting pregnant.

But this is also risky as a pregnancy later in life puts a woman at a higher risk of a stroke. IVF also has a smaller chance of success the older the mother is. Some IVF clinics do not offer IVF treatment to women over 50 but there is no law that suggests a cut off age so clinics can take each case on an individual basis.

Deciding to have a baby later on in life is something a woman should consider carefully to make sure she understands the risks involved and can make an informed decision on whether a later life pregnancy is the best option for her and her unborn baby.

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Elderly Lesbian Abused By Other Retirement Home Residents For Being Gay

Lambada legal his has filed a federal lawsuit against a senior housing facility for allowing discrimination and abuse towards one of their senior lesbian residents. Marsha Marie Wetzel has claimed she has been verbally and physically abused by other residents since they discovered she was gay.

Marsha claimed that when another resident found out she had been with her female partner for other 30 years and they had raised a son together word travelled fast and the community, that had always been friendly towards her up until that point, suddenly became nasty, judgemental and abusive towards her.

Marsha explained that she had been with her partner Judy for 30 years when she died of cancer and her partner’s family refused to recognise her as Judy’s partner. They seized Judy’s property and assets and evicted Marsha, leaving her with no choice but to seek help from social services.

This story is far more common than people realise. Many of us fail to enter a legal civil partnership either because it is not recognised or allowed where we live or we do not think it’s necessary.

But unfortunately if something happens to your partner and you have no will or no recognised status as a couple very often assets are given to the deceased person’s family, leaving the surviving partner with nothing.

Marsha finally plucked up the courage to do something about the abuse and she spoke to administrators at the facility, who she claimed ignored her pleas and she became even more marginalized and alienated.

Karen Loewy, Senior Attorney and Seniors Program Strategist for Lambda Legal says the housing facility calls itself a ‘community of caring’ but this is far from what they are portraying. Lowey said:

The facility and its staff have ignored our client’s pleas for help after being harassed and attacked because she is a lesbian and because she is a woman who loved and created a family with another woman for thirty years,”

Marsha stated that she could sense things were going to get worse for her as time went on.

Many people displayed, ‘gay hate’ and there were a handful of residents I could tell were really going to give me trouble.”

Karen Loewy highlights the problem for older LGBT members by stating:

Finding housing that is accepting and welcoming is a real challenge for LGBT older people, so much so that many seniors feel forced to hide who they really are. Being forced back into the closet doesn’t allow seniors in our community to age with dignity.”

This is a problem that really shouldn’t be playing a part in today’s society and we owe it to ourselves and our fellow LGBT members to make sure we highlight this problem and fight against it. It’s also worth looking at your current status with your partner and try to cover for all eventualities to ensure you or your loved one never ends up in a situation like this because you didn’t make a simple trip to a lawyer and do whatever you can legally to protect each other should one of you die unexpectedly. As horrible as it sounds, we can’t always rely on other people to do the right thing as sometimes prejudice is so deep rooted people are unable to acknowledge our relationships with our partners no matter how long we have been together and no matter how much love we have for each other.

6 Mental Health Issues That Are More Common Than People Realise.

The National Institute of Mental Health (NIMH) estimates that 18 percent of adults in the United States experience some form of mental illness.

Many people are aware that mental health issues such as anxiety and depression are quite common, however not many people, unless they are sufferers, fully understand the symptoms or the causes.

There is still a stigma attached to it which is not helped by people’s lack of awareness and stereotyping in the media.

Postpartum Depression

This is also referred to as postnatal depression and can occur after a woman has given birth. It effects up to one in seven women and apparently around 4% of fathers are also affected by it as well. Women can often be very tearful, lethargic and at times not bond with her new baby.

Adult ADHD

The full name for this is attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder and is more commonly found in children. Many grow out of the condition as they become adults but around 60% of children carry the condition with them into adulthood. Symptoms include problems with impulsivity control and heightened anxiety levels.

Social Phobia

The NIMH states that social phobia effects up to 7% of adults in the United States. The sufferer feels intense panic in social situations and some will avoid being with other people totally.

PTSD

This is known as Post Traumatic Stress Disorder and can occur because of any event in a sufferer’s life that has caused a huge amount of stress. Over 3.5% of Americans suffer from this and symptoms include anxiety, depression, tremors and a feeling of worthlessness.

Specific Phobias

Specific phobia is when a sufferer has an extreme fear of specific objects or situations. It is one of the most common psychological disorders effecting around 9% of the population. Sufferers experience extreme reactions to their phobia such as shaking, anxiety and panic and hyperventilation when they come into contact with whatever they are phobic about.

Schizophrenia

Many people think schizophrenia is rare but it actually effects around 1% of the World population which makes it far more common than people realise. Schizophrenia is a psychiatric disorder and sufferers can have auditory and visual hallucinations, paranoia and extreme anxiety.

It’s important as a society we try to understand conditions such as these, especially as they are so common. This is the only way to take away the stigma and ensure sufferers feel more comfortable talking about their condition to others.

‘First Girl I Loved’ Is The Coming–Of–Age Romantic Lesbian Film Of Our Dreams

Summer may be coming to an end, but there is still a reason to be happy. Because on the 18^th October ‘First Girl I Loved’ is released nationwide and if all the rave reviews are anything to go by, we are going to love it. The film has done the rounds on the film festival circuits and was very well received. Plus, the two protagonists are very easy on the eye and that certainly helps.

Written and directed by Kerem Sanga, the film tells the story of Anne (played by Dylan Gelula from Netflix hits ‘unbreakable Kimmy Shmidt’s and Casual) who falls in love with the popular high school softball player, Sasha (played by Brianna Hildebrand from Deadpool).

AS their romance blossoms Anne’s best friend Clinton (played by Mateo Arias) is not giving her the support she want’s and he appears almost jealous. It doesn’t take long to realise he is hiding something from her as he releases his inner feelings complicating Anne’s life even more.

Every lez can relate to those feelings we had when we first began to realise we liked girls and the different emotions that evoked in us. Who can forget it, really? A time of confusion, excitement and panic. I’m really looking forward to watching this ‘trip down memory lane’ and I’m confident we won’t be disappointed.

With comments such as ‘earnest and awkward, hilarious and touching’ coming from Autostraddle along with winning The Best of Next award at the Sundance Film Festival, I’m sure we are all going to be super impressed with First Girl I Loved.

How To Maintain Sexual Desire In A Relationship, According To Science.

It has happened to the best of us if we are honest. In the first few heady months of a new relationship we can’t keep our hands off each other. Any time, any place springs to mind.

But as the months go on it’s so easy to slip into a routine and let the romance and the sex get stale so your relationship feels more like a comfy pair of slippers than the passionate whirlwind it once was.

This is a normal progression into a deeper relationship that is based on more than just sex, but it’s important to make sure you don’t let that spark die completely or your relationship is in serious trouble.

According to the study by Gurit Birnbaum, professor of psychology at the Interdisciplinary Center in Herzliya, Israel, the best way to keep things good in the bedroom is to make them good outside of the bedroom as well. Here are five of his tips.

Show her you care about her life

Sometimes we all want to feel cared about and little things can mean so much. The next time she comes home from work or you meet up ask her about her day and show genuine interest. If she seems a bit low, ask her if there is anything you can do to help her feel better. Showing care and understanding builds intimacy which will then carry itself into the bedroom.

Make her feel she’s worth the effort

Why don’t you consider doing something a little bit out of the ordinary for her, just to show her she’s unique to you? Perhaps it could simply be running her a hot bath and lighting scented candles, or if she loves adventure, take her somewhere exciting that she would appreciate. Doing the same things all the time can lead to boredom and that’s the biggest passion killer around.

Take her on dates

This is something you can both organize together and can be good fun. Once a week try to have a ‘date night’ and take it in turns to arrange the date. Try to make them a little bit different, such as a picnic in the moonlight or a ride on an open top bus. Make sure on your date you concentrate on each other and talk about things that are fun and sexy.

Have fun flirting like the early days

Who doesn’t love a bit of flirting? Just because you are in a long term relationship doesn’t mean you shouldn’t still flirt with her. Play footsie with her under the table, or touch her seductively when she’s least expecting it. Flirting can help build up desire and there is every chance you can set the sheets on fire after a few hours of flirting with each other.

Think of sex as an exotic meal

We all enjoy our favourite dishes but imagine how boring that would be if we had to eat it every day. Try to treat sex a bit more like an exotic meal that you are tasting for the first time. Tease a little bit before you go to the bedroom and perhaps bring something new into it, such as a sex toy or role playing. Savour her just as you do when trying something different and exotic.

We are sure if you follow these tips you will soon kick start the passion back into your relationship in no time, but the most important thing, have fun with each other trying them all out.

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Be Sure To Watch Hulu’s New LGBTQ Friendly Series, ‘Casual’

I am in love with ‘Casual’. Coming from a relatively dysfunctional family myself (or at least I feel we are!) this programme manages to be laugh out loud funny and also explore quite serious matters at the same time.

Basically the programme is about a woman, Valerie (played by Michaela Watkins), who is really quite neurotic, comical and recently divorced, and her teen daughter Laura (played by Tara Lynne Barr). After Valerie’s divorce they move in with her wealthy and irresponsible brother, Alex (played by Tommy Dewey)

The whole family dynamic is great. They are all pretty much dependent on each other for one reason or another and the programme explores how this dependency basically keeps them all tied to each other. In this series we get to see Laura explore her bisexual side and become involved with another girl, Aubrey (played by Dylan Gelula).

Aubrey is openly gay and her and Laura instantly hit it off. They end up sleeping together at a frat party and Aubrey immediately assumes afterwards that they are in a relationship. Laura, however has other ideas.

I think this is what intrigued me the most about their relationship. How many of us have fallen for a straight girl only to have our hearts ripped apart when we realise we were nothing more than an experiment to them?

I have been in this situation myself, a few times in fact, but I never seem to learn. I vow never to get involved with a ‘straight’ girl again and then one comes along who grabs my attention and wham, I’m repeating history.

But it’s not fair to blame the straight girl in all honesty, especially if they are honest with you, like Laura is to Aubrey. Aubrey knows Laura identifies as hetro but she still takes the chance.

Laura’s relationship with Aubrey takes another twist when she persuades Aubrey to take part in a threesome with her male friend, Spencer, who has terminal cancer. Apparently having a threesome with two girls has always been on his bucket list.

Yep, him and all the rest of the male population! Aubrey reluctantly agrees but straight after it’s so obvious where Laura’s attention lies. Aubrey holds her hand after the event while Laura is gazing lovingly into the eyes of Spencer.

Yet Aubrey still doesn’t give up and kisses Laura in front of her mum, Valerie. At this point I am shouting at the screen willing Aubrey to just walk away. But alas, she ignores my heartfelt pleas and the next day she discovers that Laura has had sex with Spencer again, just the two of them. She says some harsh words to Laura and tells her how cold she is. Ooooh, I really did feel sorry for her.

I’m not sure if this storyline will continue into the next episode or if we’ve seen the end of Laura and Aubrey. However, a good lesson can be learnt from this. If you know for sure you might just be an experiment, don’t go there unless you can contain your feelings. OK, I’m not saying that straight girls don’t ever fall in love with a lez, or another straight girl for that matter, but the chances are rare. The chances of you coming out the other end with a tattered heart is not.

Anyway, take a look at the series girls. I’m sure you will love it as much as I do.

15 Facts You Need To Know Before You Tie The Knot

Yippee! So you’ve both finally decided getting married is the right thing to do, but can your relationship survive forever? Let’s take a look.

Waiting until you are at least 23 means you are less likely to get divorced.

According to a 2014 study carried out at the University of North Carolina more marriages survive if both are over the age of 23. The divorce rate is only 30% compared to people that get married under the age of 23. They have a divorce rate of 60%.

The ‘honeymoon period’ only lasts around one year

You’ve all heard the expression of the ‘honeymoon period.’ This is a phrase used to express those early days of love when everything seems perfect. Unfortunately, this phase is heeded by a chemical in the body called Nerve Growth Factor, and according to a 2005 study carried out by the University of Pavia in Italy the chemical levels start to drop after a year. This is an evolutional necessity as it makes sure we do not remain in a high anxiety state as that can be metabolically dangerous to us mere mortals.

Two people can be compatible and incompatible on different levels

During the 1950’s and 1960’s a Canadian psychologist called Eric Berne claimed we have three tiers to our identity. The parent, the child and the adult. In a relationship the parent part of us is concerned with or values and beliefs in the world, our child side is concerned with the fun we have together and the adult identity questions our partner’s intelligence and how we solve problems together. We tend to seek partners that balance us out, so one may have more of the child in them and the other more of the adult. If the equilibrium is good, the relationship will be, but if it’s not well balanced this could cause problems.

Friendship in the relationship makes the strongest marriages.

A study carried out in 2014 by the National Bureau of Economic Research found that couples who are also best friends. Friendship in a marriage increases and can explain why good marriages survive and give life satisfaction.

Couples around the same age are less at risk from divorce

A study conducted with 3000 Americans who had been married found that age plays a big part in whether the marriage can survive. If the couple have only one-year age difference between them they are only 3% more likely to get divorced, but a five-year age gap increases that to 18% more likely. When that goes up to ten years you are 39% more likely to split up.

If your partner’s good news excites you, your relationship will be better.

If you are genuinely excited when your partner tells you something good has happened and you don’t just dismiss it or not take any notice, you are more likely to stay together. Amie Gordon, a social psychologist at the University of California at Berkeley said a genuine response of happiness that something good has happened to your partner will make them feel good and shows strength in the relationship.

Couples who do chores together stay together

Yes, apparently this is true! If one of you does more chores than the other, it can build resentment which is detrimental in a relationship. In one study 60% of Americans said that sharing chores equally was a crucial part of a successful marriage. So in other words, gals, washing those dishes between you both will help keep you together.

The standards of Marriage are higher than ever

Years ago people would get married for a variety of reasons. Money, housing and security being just a few. These days we expect a lot more and we expect to get personal fulfilment from our marriage.

Couples never completely get to know each other

In 1997 a study was carried out between married couples and it was discovered that the longer you had been together did not mean you know everything about your partner, especially when it comes to their own personal opinions. When couples were asked how their other half would rate themselves regarding looks, intelligence and sportiness, only 30% gave the correct answer.

If you moved in with your partner to ‘test’ the relationship you are not confident in the relationship itself

Researchers at the University of Denver discovered that couples who move in together to test how they get on actually know on a deeper level they are not really compatible and they suffered more from anxiety and depression. This is the time for honesty when one has to look at the reasons they moved in together in the first place.

If you rely financially on your partner you are more likely to cheat

Research carried out at the University of Connecticut discovered that if you rely financially on your partner you are far more likely to cheat on them then they would you. This could be for many reasons including giving your self-esteem a boost because you feel inferior to your partner’s better earnings, or you are simply rebelling against the fact you feel like a kept woman.

We all think everyone else cheats except our own partner

A 2015 study carried out at Calgary University discovered that people think there is a 40% chance people cheat on their partners, but they rated on average the likelihood of their partners cheating on them was only 5%.

Appreciating each other means you are more likely to stay together

Erin Brodwin from Business Insider reported that having gratitude towards your partner could be the key to a long lasting relationship. Everybody feels healthier and happier if they know their partner appreciates what they do for them so it makes sense that making your partner feel good and her doing the same for you means your relationship is far more likely to survive.

In time you realize you are not one person but individuals

It’s only over time that couples realize they really are different people with different thoughts, opinions and attitudes. Early on in the relationship it’s easy to see so similarities to our partners but over time those similarities can also contain differences of opinions. Ellyn Bader, a couple’s therapist states that we begin to realise over time that we can see someone as one thing but over time we then see they are different to what we thought they were.

The quality of sex is more important than how often you have it

A study was carried out where one group of participants had sex twice as often as usual and the other group continued their usual sex lives. The group that had sex twice as often were in fact less happy than the other group who carried on as usual. A classic case of quality over quality.

So there you have it girls. 15 facts for you to mull over and look at honestly before you decide once and for all if getting hitched is the right thing to do.

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These 9 Medical Tests Are Crucial For All Women

In the words of Tammy Wynette ‘sometimes it’s hard to be a woman’ and aint that so true?

Not only do we have so many emotional complexities to deal with, but our bodies are quite unique as well. So we owe it to ourselves to keep our bodies in tip top condition.

Here is a list of the 9 most important medical tests all women should have.

Cervical Cancer Screening

This test is to check against human papillomavirus, or HPV and all women between the ages of 21 to 65 should have it done. We should have the test every 3 to 5 years and the test will look for cell changes in your body that could indicate cancer, so make sure you have yours done regularly.

Colorectal Cancer Screening

This is a colonoscopy which isn’t the most pleasant of tests to have carried out, however it saves 100’s of lives a year. Women aged between 50 to 75 should have it done every 10 years and the test will look for colon cancer and tumours. If caught early the survival rate is very good.

Breast Cancer Screening

This test is often called a mammogram and should be carried out on women aged 50 – 74. Some women if they have a history of breast cancer in the family have the test earlier. It should be carried out yearly and can detect even the very early stages of breast cancer. We love our boobs girls, so we need to look after them.

Blood Pressure Test

This test measures your blood flowing through your veins. All adults over the age of 18 should have the test done yearly as high blood pressure can be an indication you are at risk from heart disease or a stroke. It’s easily treated with medication and is important you have the test done as high blood pressure can go undetected for a long time before symptoms start to show.

Lipid Panel Test

This test is often called a cholesterol test as it checks the cholesterol levels or ‘fat’ in the blood. Women over the age of 45 should have the test done and it should be carried out yearly. High Cholesterol levels can cause heart attacks, heart disease and strokes. It is very easily managed through medication and it is vital to have it checked out.

Hepatitis C Test

Hepatitis is far more common than we realise. It can occur because of blood transfusions that contained contaminated blood. It is recommended that women born between 1945 and 1965 have the test done. The test only needs to be done once. Hepatitis C can cause liver disease and liver failure if left untreated.

Blood Glucose Testing

This test is carried out to check the amount of glucose in your blood which can indicate diabetes. Maintaining the correct balance of sugar in our bodies is really important. Woman aged from 40 – 70 should have the test carried out yearly.

Osteoporosis Screening

This is a bone density test that looks to see if your bones are at risk from fractures or you may be at risk from declining mobility. Women over the age of 65 should have the test done and if they are not at high risk it only needs to be carried out once every 10 years. Osteoporosis is treated in a variety of different ways so early detection in low bone mass is important.

Many of these tests can be carried out during a yearly medical so you can have many of them done at the same time.

Don’t ever take chances with your health, and if you are worried about any symptoms you may have go to see your GP right away.

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Here’s Why Generation Y Don’t Have Much Sex

Well how depressing is this? Apparently people who reach young adulthood during the 2000’s are not having as much sex or as many sexual partners as their own parent’s generation were having at the same age.

Our parent’s got it on more than we do? That’s just not allowed!

Dr Jean Twinge from San Diego University conducted a study around the culture of Millennials and discovered that millennials sex lives are definitely not as active as people of the same age in the 1950’s, 1960’s and 1970’s.

So what were they doing right and what are we doing so wrong?

Dr Twinge suggests it’s because Millennials lives are so much different now. For a start many young adults remain living with their parents until are they around 30, or if they have left home they share a flat with lots of other people. The cost of living is so high this is understandable.

I can fully understand why this can affect our sex lives! I remember having my first serious girlfriend at 16 and I was terrified to have sex with her in my bedroom in case my Mum would casually stroll in. She was quite fond of that. At that point I had not come out to my parent’s either, so that was a double dampener.

The same applies if you are sharing a flat.

How horrendous if your flatmates hear your groans of passion as they are all sat munching pizza together in the lounge? It’s not just because of our living arrangements either. Apparently it’s also because of our culture with the internet.

We spend a lot more time online and talk to people that way, rather than face to face, which as clever as the internet is, we can’t have sex remotely, can we? Oh, and did I mention that we watch a lot porn and take our satisfaction that way?

I must confess to doing that on occasion if my girlfriend was working away or I was alone. Which leads to the next reason. Girls, it’s also because of sex toys! Yep, the rampant rabbit is also destroying our sex lives.

Thinking about it, it is easier to ‘do the job yourself’ rather than actually go out there and find a sexual partner if you do not have one.

Plus, our lives are so busy with work or studying it’s often hard to even get time to spend with your partner, so if you are only seeing her at weekends then that’s the only time you can jump into the sack, isn’t it?

So there you have it. We are simply not getting as much as they had ‘in the good old days’! Rebecca Reid, a journalist and columnist for the Telegraph has differing opinions. She thinks that the figures given during our parent’s generations might not be correct in the first place.

She suggests they may have made up how many sexual partners they had, simply for bravado, or rather than admit they were having no sex at all, to keep face they simply pretended they were getting it 4 days a week!

I prefer to think she’s got it right. I don’t want to accept that my parents were having more fun than I have.

Our generation are so much cooler and have loads more fun, right?

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