Lesbian Author, Jenny Block is a lifestyle writer and the author of O Wow: Discovering Your Ultimate Orgasm, so we decided to ask her for some top tips.

1. Tell you partner what works for you.

You don’t have to be bossy. You don’t have to be mean or tell her that she’s doing something wrong. Just say, “I love it when you…” Or I sure would like it if you’d…” Your partner wants to please you. Give her the chance.

2. Breathe.

It can be very tempting to hold your breath when you’re turned on. But breathing will make your orgasm that much deeper and stronger. Your muscles need oxygen for exercise and sex is definitely a physical pursuit.

3. Let go.

Forgot about the time. Forget about the laundry. Forget about what you look like naked. There’s plenty of time. The laundry can wait. And you look incredibly sexy – otherwise there wouldn’t be someone waiting to devour you.

4. Forget everything you know.

Sticking to an old script can mean missing out on all kinds of new sensations. So let go of what you know – or what you think you know – and use pleasure as your only guide. If it feels good (and it involves enthusiastically consenting adults of course) go for it.

5. Move.

It’s ok to move your body. In fact it’s great! And – trust me – your partner will love it because it shows you’re enjoying what she’s doing. So lift your hips, rock your pelvis, get to moving around. Don’t miss out on anything that enhances the fun.

6. Make noise.

Sex feels good. It should any way. And when we experience a sensual pleasure, our inclination is to make noise. So give in and sigh, moan, pant, scream, whisper, talk dirty, whatever the moment inspires. Just like when you move, making noise tells your partner she’s got all the right moves.

7. Love your body.

You only get one and it’s your home. So love it. Thank it for gifting you with the only organ in the universe created solely for pleasure – the almighty clit. Loving your body will inspire your partner to love yours – and hers – as well.

8. All hail the clit.

It’s likely no mystery to you that the clit is it. But keep in mind that the external bud you see on the outside is literally just the tip of the iceberg. The rest is nestled inside, including long legs that rival the average penis in length. So rub and press and penetrate and play in any and every way to get the most bang out of your orgasm.

9. Go blended.

For most women, the blended orgasm is their ultimate orgasm. So don’t be afraid to really get in there and go for the blended. A blended orgasm involves vaginal penetration, clitoral stimulation, and a little back door play, if you’re game! Get all three going at once – using a combination of mouth, hands, and toys – and you’ll be seriously seeing stars.

You can purchase Jenny Block’s book here.

Photo source: Steph Grant – www.stephgrantphotography.com