Sometimes it’s really hard to fit in and we can all do with a little bit of a push in the right direction. If you find it more difficult to make friends or struggle to feel comfortable in large groups, these little pointers can make all the difference.
Look People in the Eye
This might sound a little obvious but it’s surprising how many people don’t make eye contact when they are talking to someone. Make sure you look at them when you are engaging in conversation. We’re not saying you should stare, just meet their gaze and that applies even if she has a nice pair of boobs you’d rather be looking at.
Don’t Keep Looking at Your Smartphone
A real bugbear, this one. There is nothing worse than trying to talk to someone and they are more interested in looking at their phone than concentrating on what you are saying. Just don’t do it. Ever.
Call People by Name
We know, we know, what else are you supposed to call them, right? But what we mean is if you use their name mid conversation it can make people feel special and important. Give it a try the next time you are having a conversation and watch them smile.
Believe it or not some people are just not big smilers. The problem with that is it can make you seem miserable or bored. We’re not saying you have to sit there grinning inanely like a Cheshire cat, but smile now and then to show you are happy to be talking to them.
Listening is actually a skill in itself, especially if you are finding the conversation a bit boring or long winded. So make sure you pay attention and do not keep asking someone to repeat themselves.
There is a difference between flattering someone naturally or sounding like a creep. If someone looks nice, tell them. If they are telling you about an achievement tell them how well they’ve done. It will show them you care and that’s a nice opinion to have of someone.
Accept a Compliment
Many people find it really hard to accept a compliments they don’t want to come across as egotistical. But if someone makes the effort to praise you or say something nice, thank them and tell them you appreciate what they are saying.
Have you ever had the misfortune of talking to someone that just moans through the entire conversation? It’s harder to cope with than pulling teeth. Certain people often feel the need to moan about the weather, their hair, their partner, in fact they can find something to moan about no matter what! So don’t go there. Try and focus on some positive things to say. If you are both having a moaning fest that’s different, but if you’re engaging in a typical conversation hold back on the moaning.
Don’t Jump to Conclusions
Certain people have a tendency to always take things the wrong way or read more into a situation than there actually is. It can also mean you judge someone wrongly and build a wrong impression of them. Make sure you don’t do this. If you think someone is insinuating something, then politely ask them to elaborate on what they mean. This is better than presuming you think you know what they mean and get the wrong impression totally.
Watch Your Body Language
Big body language no nos. Yawning, bad tone of voice, scowling and putting your hands on your hips. Body language signals like these will make you come across in a really negative way so whatever you do try not to show these signals when you are talking to someone or are in a large group.
Make Everyone Feel Included
Sometimes people can feel really awkward if they are in a large group and they simply sit there and not speak because they are shy or they don’t think they have anything relevant to say. IF you notice a member of the group is not joining him direct a question at them and ask them their opinion. If you are really shy and don’t like big groups, try to show other ways you are involved in the discussion by nodding your head or even saying ‘I agree with you’ or relevant statements like that. It won’t take long for others to then involve you more directly rather than taking no notice of you because you are not speaking.