Connect
To Top

Coming To Terms With Your Sexuality

Coming to terms with your own sexuality is always a complicated and unique experience.

There are a lot of opinions out there. Some will tell you what you are feeling is just a phase. Some will tell you that you are just second guessing yourself, and to let that idea go. Others will try to get you to believe that what they are saying is the truth.

Ignore them. Ignore them all. No one can tell you how to feel, or who to love.

The only person who can uncover the truth is yourself.

If you are struggling to come to terms with the fact that you might be gay, know that you are not alone. Many struggle with these exact issues. And there is a way to deal with it.

You need to spend some time to re-evaluate yourself.

Go somewhere quiet where you can be alone, and think. This is key! You need to think. Think about who you are, what makes you you. Remember all of the positive things about you, and know that no matter what your sexuality is, it does not determine your self-worth.

Imagining yourself as both heterosexual and homosexual – ignore social norms and figure out which one feels more natural to you. When you imagine yourself kissing someone, is it always a woman? Do you find women attractive, and in more than just a physical way? Which gender makes your heart race and palms sweat more?

Homosexual, heterosexual, bisexual, asexual, pansexual – they are all just labels used to describe types of love. Focus less on the labels and more on your feelings.

How you feel is more important than how other people might label you.

Coming to terms with your sexuality takes time. It won’t happen over night. You’ll go through some emotions, very similar to the Five Stages of Grief.

1. Denial – “No, I’m not gay. I can’t be.”

2. Anger – “Why is this happening to me?”

3. Bargaining – “Maybe if I experiment a little I’ll find out I’m not actually gay…”

4. Depression – “I can’t believe I might be gay”

… until finally you come to the most important stage:

5. Acceptance.

Accepting your sexuality (no matter what it is) is a profound experience. It’s this moment where your mind suddenly becomes crisp and clear.

You stop, and realise that, yes, this is your sexuality and that it isn’t that bad. When you accept your sexuality, you will feel this huge weight lifted off of your shoulders. Suddenly, everything falls into place. All your problems have a source and all your feelings have a reason. Suddenly, you can’t stop smiling.

Some people have always known that they were gay. It takes others a long time to come to terms with their own sexuality.

No pace is wrong, or too slow. You have to take your time and really feel confident in yourself.

No one can tell you what to be. If you’re gay, you’re gay! You cannot decide to be gay or straight. You can only decide how and when you will accept your sexuality.

And when, and if, you accept your sexuality, it will feel amazing.

Like everything in life, there are things you cannot change. You cannot change your sexuality. You can only change your reaction to it. If you choose to accept that you are gay (or straight, or bi, or whatever), it is a huge step in your growth as a person that needs to be celebrated.

It’s your right to love; no one has the right to tell you otherwise.

Leave a Reply

More in Life

  • 10 Valentine’s Day Sex Positions For An Unforgettably Romantic Night

    Whether you two are in love, like, or lust, Valentine’s Day is the perfect excuse to have sex that’s as dirty...

    KitschMix.com StaffFebruary 2, 2018
  • 8 Tips For The Most Perfect Date Ever

    Have you ever been on a date that was… Not so great, to say the least? You accidentally knocked your wine...

    Barbara WardDecember 24, 2017
  • 17 Ways to Make the Most Out Of Your Long-Term Relationship

    Getting ready to enter a long-distance relationship? Make sure you’re remembering these 17 tips first. 1. See it as an opportunity....

    Barbara WardDecember 23, 2017
  • 9 Things You Lose When You Say Sorry

    Human communication is a crazy thing. The entire planet has had thousands upon thousands of years to get it all right…...

    Barbara WardDecember 22, 2017
  • 9 Unavoidable Truths About Long-Distance Relationships

    Long-distance relationships are a lot harder than other relationships. That’s not to say they aren’t worth it – for the right...

    Barbara WardDecember 13, 2017
  • Older Lesbians and Bi Women Suffer More Chronic Health Conditions Than Heterosexuals, Study Finds

    According to a new study, Lesbian and bisexual older women are more likely than heterosexual older women to suffer chronic health...

    KitschMix.com StaffSeptember 2, 2017
  • The 888 Collective Aims To Help Those With Mental Health Issues Into Work

    The 888 Collective is a new UK based enterprise, which hopes to help those with mental health issues into work. Set...

    KitschMix.com StaffAugust 30, 2017
  • What Will Sex Be Like in the Future?

    On one hand, sex has stayed the same since the beginning of time – after all, male and female bodies haven’t...

    J MarieJune 13, 2017
  • #SafeWordSociety Is the Safe Space Podcast We Need Right Now

    A safe word is magical. Many couples use it during sex, especially when practicing BDSM. If you get too overwhelmed with...

    J MarieJune 13, 2017
  • How Shakespeare Can Teach You To Pick Up Girls

    When it came to being a playboy, Shakespeare was worse than Shane from the L Word. Hard to believe, right? How...

    J MarieJune 12, 2017

A dedicated website for Lesbians, Bi, Trans, and Gay women; offering posts on lesbian lifestyle, LGBTQ news, lesbian film rental, health advice, lesbian dating and more...

Latest News

  • Gillian Anderson: ‘I Could Be Dating A Woman Next Year’

  • Watch: Rachel McAdams, Rachel Weisz Spark Forbidden Passion In ‘Disobedience’

  • Ellen DeGeneres Moved To Tears By Wife Portia De Rossi’s Birthday Gift

  • Coronation Street Actress Discusses Playing Soap’s First Lesbian Muslim Character

  • 10 Valentine’s Day Sex Positions For An Unforgettably Romantic Night

Most Shared Posts

  • Science Proves That Homophobia Means You’re (Probably) Gay...
    According to a study in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, homophobes are “more lik
    189.7k Shares
  • The Queer Muslim Movement Is Growing...
    In America, Muslims are often depicted as intolerant and bigoted. However, more and more Muslims are
    37.4k Shares
  • 31 Beautiful Lesbian Wedding Photos That Prove Two Brides Are Better T...
    We’re feeling the love here at KitschMix HQ. These stunning photos celebrate the love and joy that
    35k Shares