If you are honest, how many times have you had an enjoyable bout of lovemaking and afterwards felt tearful, sad, anxious or agitated and not understood why?
Well, there is a reason for this. It’s called Post-coital dysphoria and a recent study showed that it affected 46% of women who took part in a survey about their feelings after sex. Denise Knowles, a sex therapist and counsellor at relationships charity Relate, told The Independent:
It’s not uncommon to feel sad after sex. it comes down the explosion of hormones in the body after sex, including endorphins, oxytocin and prolactin. Having sex is a hugely intimate act and an orgasm releases lots of wonderful feel-good bonding hormones. Those hormones drop following the peak of an orgasm, and as you separate from the closeness that brought it about, a sense of sadness can follow.”
Apparently, it’s almost like a form of separation anxiety when we feel really close to our partner, have experienced intense feelings of joy and pleasure and then it stops. Knowles went on the say:
You go from absolute joy and pleasure to being separated. That in its own way can cause women, and some men, to feel a bit sad. But it’s an organic biological function which happens to a greater or lesser extent to many people. It usually means that you’re in a very heightened state of emotional arousal and the come-down on the other side of that is what naturally happens.”
A sufferer of Post – coital dysphoria, Jerilyn, opened up about her episodes. She said:
Even when I was single, the post-sex depression morphed into a different shade of empty. I always attributed it to the fear of being abandoned. I started to wonder if something was being taken from me every time I had sex, even though I enjoyed the act itself.”
It is quite worrying that this issue is a lot more common than people realise and sufferers are probably worrying that how they sometimes feel after sex is not normal.
More needs to be done to bring awareness to this and sufferers should not be afraid to open to their partners about how they are left feeling sometimes after sex. So, girls, if you have suffered from this in the past or have experienced it recently, tell your partner. She can’t give you a hug or try to understand if you don’t let her know how you are feeling.