Having a connection with someone is made up of three main components. Time, Focus and Sharing. Connections with your boo can occur if one or more of these components are missing. The idea is to share experiences together and implementing all of these three components in your relationship. Let’s have a look at how you can do this.
Finding the time to spend together alone in your busy schedules can be really difficult for many couples and lack of time together is one of the main components to disappear in a relationship. If you live together it’s easy to become more like ships that pass in the night as you both focus on your careers, work colleagues and friends. If you don’t live together it can be very easy to spend time with a group of friends rather than just being alone. Spending time together is really important, but it’s not how much time you spend together, it’s the quality of your alone time.
Everyone has different opinions on what quality time together means so the first thing to do is to ask your boo what she sees as quality time together. Then tell her yours. For example, you may think quality time together could just mean lounging on the couch watching a film, but she may think quality time together means getting away from normal activities and doing something different, just the both of you. Once you’ve established what quality time together means, implement them all so you both feel you’re getting quality time. It won’t take long to start feeling really connected with her after doing this.
Now you’ve both worked out how you are going to spend time together you can implement the focus. If you’re on a ‘date night’ don’t let your mind wander to what’s happened at work that day, or start mentally preparing for a presentation you have coming up. Stay in the moment. Focus on what you are doing with her. Listen to what she is saying. Forget everything else going on and just enjoy her company and the experience you are both having alone. Many people find it hard to switch off from life’s pressures but with practise it can be done. Forget the outside world during your quality time and just think about her and what you are both enjoying together in that moment.
Now you’ve sussed the time and focus you now need to start sharing as well. This means while you are together you share your thoughts, feelings, ideas, hopes and fears with her. It’s also important to share your physical self as well. Kiss her, hold her hand and cuddle her while you are alone together. It will show her that you are sharing your complete self with her and help build trust and deep bonds between the pair of you. Don’t forget the sex. Make time to make love to her and make sure she feels desirable and wanted.
Mastering these three components get easier over time and you both need to then implement as much of this into your daily lives, even if it’s just grabbing a coffee together during the day. It’s a chance for you both to talk alone, to focus on each other and share any issues you are worried about in your relationship.
Here is an experience you can both enjoy together while implementing all three components.
Cuddle up and face each other. Look into each other’s eyes and talk about something nice, such as your future plans together, where you’d like to go with her on vacation or simply tell each other what you love about each other. Exchange kisses, touch her face or gently rub her arm. These kinds of intimate experiences are very powerful and can help re-establish a connection that has been missing recently.