For years, queer women have been trying to find ways to identify each other. It used to be commonplace to give violets to another woman as a sign of your interest in her, but for whatever reason, that died out.
Then, for a while, homosexuals in general were emblazoned with a shining symbol of their homosexuality – but that wasn’t really a good thing, either (read up on the Holocaust if you’re interested in learning more).
Then, we had the Lesbian Uniform – until straight women (and dudes) started appropriating our clothes. What’s a poor lesbian to do?!
Thankfully, there are ways to help understand if a woman you’re interested in is probably gay – or if you’re wondering about your own sexuality.
Please look through the following list and see how many lesbian points you’ve got. (Extra credit if you get a perfect score, but anything over half means you’re probably gay.)
Music: Which of the following artists are you in love with?
Worth one point each:
- The Indigo Girls
- Ani DiFranco
- Tegan & Sara
- Melissa Etheridge
- Joan Jett
- Justin Bieber
Television: Which of the following shows do you watch religiously?
Worth one point each:
- The L Word
- Orange is the New Black
- Orphan Black
- Jessica Jones
- Pretty Little Liars
- Grey’s Anatomy
- Lost Girl
- The Fosters
- Any other TV show with a lesbian leading character – no exceptions.
Movies: Which of the following do you own and/or have memorized?
Worth a possible two points each – one for owning it, and one for memorizing it:
- I Can’t Think Straight
- My Summer of Love
- Itty Bitty Titty Committee
- Aimee & Jaguar
- Loving Annabelle
- Tipping the Velvet
- Imagine Me & You
- Desert Hearts
- Incredibly True Adventures of Two Girls in Love
- Any other lesbian films – a possible two points each for any more you can come up with.
Pets: Do you own a cat?
Worth one point for each cat – two points if you got the cat with your partner.
Sports: Do you like them?
Worth one point each for sports you play, as well as sports you watch on TV:
- American football
- Women’s basketball
- MMA/boxing/street fighting
Clothing: What’s in your closet?
Worth one point for each item that falls into one of the following categories:
- Button-up shirts.
- Polo shirts.
- “Wifebeater” tank tops.
- Band t-shirts.
- Flannel or plaid.
- Frumpy sweatshirts.
- Basketball shorts.
- Any clothing with pictures of cats on it.
- Any clothing with half-naked women on it.
- Boxer shorts, or boxer briefs.
- Crazy-colored socks.
Food: What do your eating habits say about your sexuality?
- You like hummus: One point.
- You are a vegetarian: Five points. (Two points if you eat fish, but no red meat.)
- Whipped cream, in sexual situations: Ten points.
- You only eat organic: Two points.
- You prefer to eat pussy: Definitely gay. 100 points.
Identity: Do you think you’re gay?
- One point if you identify as a lesbian or bisexual woman.
- One point if others identify you as a lesbian or bisexual woman.
- Ten points if no one was surprised at all when you came out of the closet.
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