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How Gay Are You? Signs You Might Be A Lesbian

For years, queer women have been trying to find ways to identify each other. It used to be commonplace to give violets to another woman as a sign of your interest in her, but for whatever reason, that died out.

Then, for a while, homosexuals in general were emblazoned with a shining symbol of their homosexuality – but that wasn’t really a good thing, either (read up on the Holocaust if you’re interested in learning more).

Then, we had the Lesbian Uniform – until straight women (and dudes) started appropriating our clothes. What’s a poor lesbian to do?!

Thankfully, there are ways to help understand if a woman you’re interested in is probably gay – or if you’re wondering about your own sexuality.

Please look through the following list and see how many lesbian points you’ve got. (Extra credit if you get a perfect score, but anything over half means you’re probably gay.)


Music: Which of the following artists are you in love with?

Worth one point each:

  • The Indigo Girls
  • Ani DiFranco
  • Tegan & Sara
  • Melissa Etheridge
  • Joan Jett
  • Justin Bieber

Television: Which of the following shows do you watch religiously?

Worth one point each:

  • The L Word
  • Wentworth
  • Orange is the New Black
  • Orphan Black
  • Jessica Jones
  • Pretty Little Liars
  • Grey’s Anatomy
  • Lost Girl
  • The Fosters
  • Buffy
  • Ellen
  • Any other TV show with a lesbian leading character – no exceptions.

Movies: Which of the following do you own and/or have memorized?

Worth a possible two points each – one for owning it, and one for memorizing it:

  • I Can’t Think Straight
  • My Summer of Love
  • Unveiled
  • Itty Bitty Titty Committee
  • Aimee & Jaguar
  • Loving Annabelle
  • Tipping the Velvet
  • Imagine Me & You
  • Desert Hearts
  • Incredibly True Adventures of Two Girls in Love
  • Any other lesbian films – a possible two points each for any more you can come up with.

Pets: Do you own a cat?

Worth one point for each cat – two points if you got the cat with your partner.


Sports: Do you like them?

Worth one point each for sports you play, as well as sports you watch on TV:

  • American football
  • Soccer
  • Women’s basketball
  • Tennis
  • Golf
  • Rugby
  • Hockey
  • Cheerleading
  • Baseball/softball
  • MMA/boxing/street fighting

Clothing: What’s in your closet?

Worth one point for each item that falls into one of the following categories:

  • Button-up shirts.
  • Polo shirts.
  • “Wifebeater” tank tops.
  • Band t-shirts.
  • Flannel or plaid.
  • Frumpy sweatshirts.
  • Basketball shorts.
  • Any clothing with pictures of cats on it.
  • Any clothing with half-naked women on it.
  • Boxer shorts, or boxer briefs.
  • Crazy-colored socks.

Food: What do your eating habits say about your sexuality?

  • You like hummus: One point.
  • You are a vegetarian: Five points. (Two points if you eat fish, but no red meat.)
  • Whipped cream, in sexual situations: Ten points.
  • You only eat organic: Two points.
  • You prefer to eat pussy: Definitely gay. 100 points.

Identity: Do you think you’re gay?

  • One point if you identify as a lesbian or bisexual woman.
  • One point if others identify you as a lesbian or bisexual woman.
  • Ten points if no one was surprised at all when you came out of the closet.

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