You’ve brought that precious bundle of joy home and the two mommies couldn’t be happier. But… you realize your sex life has been lacking (or maybe it’s basically nonexistent).
Between late night feedings, diaper changes, and work schedules, there’s no doubt that sex may definitely drop down on your priority list after your baby is born. Exhaustion and the stress of your new responsibilities as mothers tend to win out over making love.
Not to mention giving birth can leave you feeling sore, dry, and feeling not very desirable to your partner. Don’t worry…most new parents have been there before, so you’re not alone. So how do you rekindle that bedroom flame when everything seems to be working against you?
Here’s a look at some insightful tips to help you and your partner turn the heat back on in the bedroom after you’ve had a baby…
Leave Expectations at the Door
Not only is sex post-baby going to be different than before you or your partner gave birth, but everyone is going to be different when it comes to feeling like having sex again.
Be patient with yourself and your partner, and don’t have expectations about the sex.
Think of it as re-discovering each other and have fun with it. When you leave all expectations at the door, you just may find your sex life reaching new and exciting heights!
This goes for whomever gave birth as well as her partner. You may be on different pages with each other in terms of wanting to have sex again.
Be sure to communicate with each other and don’t shut your partner out if she’s not in the mood.
She’ll get there in her own time. Being patient with each other will not only help you ease back into your sex life, but it will also help when it comes to raising your baby as well.
Rev Up the Foreplay (A lot!)
It’s normal to be a bit afraid of post-baby sex, especially for the birth momma. Many thoughts could cross your mind like if your body is healed enough for sex, distracting you from you and your partner actually even attempting to have sex.
But there’s a solution to that…a little foreplay goes a long way. Whether it’s a seductive trail of kisses down the back or an all out make-out session, definitely partake in the foreplay.
Not only does it feel good, but it can help you and your partner reconnect and discover each other all over again.
Nap Time = Sex Time
You’ve put your baby down for a nap…why not have a little fun with your partner?
Yeah, it may sound a bit like having to schedule a bit of “nooky” time with your girl, but at least it’s a time when you’re both free and have time to yourself. And let’s face it, with a newborn; those moments are going to be few and far between. Everything else on the “to do” list can wait.
By thinking nap time equals sex time, you and your partner will have something to look forward to.
It doesn’t matter how you’re feeling about your post-baby body (you look beautiful no matter what), getting naked is sexy and a turn-on.
And it doesn’t necessarily mean you have to have sex, but just the act of getting naked and feeling your partner’s bare skin upon yours may just help turn up the heat. Try taking a shower together, or maybe a playful game of strip poker…even some skin on skin spooning might do the trick.
You might end up feeling completely at ease and rested and fall asleep, or it could fuel the fire and make you want to take things further. Either way, there’s not much getting naked can’t solve!