Children are curious. And there’s no way of escaping all of the inevitable questions that are going to come your way in general as a parent.
But as same-sex parent’s you may find yourselves fielding a whole new set of questions when it comes to your children’s friends. So what are you supposed to do whenever your child gets asked why he or she has two mommies? Well, your first instinct may be to say something along the lines of “Our family is none of your business!”
However, that’s probably not going to solve much of anything, and you may risk isolating your child. So here’s a look at some way to help your child explain your family to friends instead…
Simply State the Facts
Family’s come in all sorts of shapes, sizes, and diversity. And whether you’re gay or straight, there are many ways in which people can become parents. Let your child know their family history. Keep it straightforward and simply, that way if he or she is met with having to explain his or her family to another curious child, they can do it in the same way they were told by you.
Normalize Your Family
Children will treat information the same way you and your partner do. So if you want your child to feel at ease answering questions about their two mommies, then the two of you need to feel at ease discussing it with them. Once again, it’s important to be straightforward and up front with your children. Let them know that just because there are two mothers in the household, that doesn’t mean they are any different from any other family. Talk with them about normal things you do as a family that other families most probably do as well.
Don’t Be Defensive
Other kids may still be curious about your child’s same-sex family even after answering questions and explaining. So if you find your child is still being questioned, don’t get defensive. While it’s your motherly instinct to defend and protect your child, as long as it’s truly curiosity and the other children wanting to understand, there’s nothing to really get defensive about. However, it’s always a good idea to always be aware of what’s going on with your child to make sure nothing is leading to bullying. Always encourage your child to be open with you and your partner, as you two should do the same for him or her.
Families = Love
When children have questions about same-sex families, it’s not about sex, it’s about love. When they think of families, they think of people who love them unconditionally. This is a good explanation to give to your child in response to questions about them having two moms. When it comes down to it, really the only answer your child needs is a response along the lines of: “My parents are my parents because they love me and they love each other.” Simple as that…and children are good with simple.
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