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How To Maintain Sexual Desire In A Relationship, According To Science.

Put that spark back into your relationship and get the passion burning again.
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It has happened to the best of us if we are honest. In the first few heady months of a new relationship we can’t keep our hands off each other. Any time, any place springs to mind.

But as the months go on it’s so easy to slip into a routine and let the romance and the sex get stale so your relationship feels more like a comfy pair of slippers than the passionate whirlwind it once was.

This is a normal progression into a deeper relationship that is based on more than just sex, but it’s important to make sure you don’t let that spark die completely or your relationship is in serious trouble.

According to the study by Gurit Birnbaum, professor of psychology at the Interdisciplinary Center in Herzliya, Israel, the best way to keep things good in the bedroom is to make them good outside of the bedroom as well. Here are five of his tips.


Show her you care about her life

Sometimes we all want to feel cared about and little things can mean so much. The next time she comes home from work or you meet up ask her about her day and show genuine interest. If she seems a bit low, ask her if there is anything you can do to help her feel better. Showing care and understanding builds intimacy which will then carry itself into the bedroom.


Make her feel she’s worth the effort

Why don’t you consider doing something a little bit out of the ordinary for her, just to show her she’s unique to you? Perhaps it could simply be running her a hot bath and lighting scented candles, or if she loves adventure, take her somewhere exciting that she would appreciate. Doing the same things all the time can lead to boredom and that’s the biggest passion killer around.


Take her on dates

This is something you can both organize together and can be good fun. Once a week try to have a ‘date night’ and take it in turns to arrange the date. Try to make them a little bit different, such as a picnic in the moonlight or a ride on an open top bus. Make sure on your date you concentrate on each other and talk about things that are fun and sexy.


Have fun flirting like the early days

Who doesn’t love a bit of flirting? Just because you are in a long term relationship doesn’t mean you shouldn’t still flirt with her. Play footsie with her under the table, or touch her seductively when she’s least expecting it. Flirting can help build up desire and there is every chance you can set the sheets on fire after a few hours of flirting with each other.


Think of sex as an exotic meal

We all enjoy our favourite dishes but imagine how boring that would be if we had to eat it every day. Try to treat sex a bit more like an exotic meal that you are tasting for the first time. Tease a little bit before you go to the bedroom and perhaps bring something new into it, such as a sex toy or role playing. Savour her just as you do when trying something different and exotic.

We are sure if you follow these tips you will soon kick start the passion back into your relationship in no time, but the most important thing, have fun with each other trying them all out.


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I'm a writer, film maker, producer and a self believer. I live with my girlfriend and two children in Valencia, Spain and I write as I live my life. With passion, honesty and full of fun.

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