I’m sure at some point in your life, you’ve either known or been a Pillow Princess. For those who don’t know, this term refers to a woman who only receives pleasure from her partner. She doesn’t return the favor (or at least she doesn’t want to – there is room for negotiation, of course.)
While the term elicits a sense of femininity, that’s not always the case. I’ve known “Pillow Bois” in my life too; butch women who don’t like to give pleasure. Maybe it’s less common, as the masculinity assumes a role of dominance for many people, but it’s still a real thing and worthy of note.
For someone who gets the majority of their sexual gratification from providing pleasure to their partner, a Pillow Princess is great – it’s someone who won’t expect to give you something in return, so you can focus on giving her a mind-blowing orgasm without worrying about whether you’ve “maintained” your lady bits as much as you “should” in order to receive sex in return.
But if you’re not primarily a giver, Pillow Princesses can be, understandably, frustrating. After all, she doesn’t want to return the favor, and she won’t hesitate to let you know that it’s really not what she wants to be doing. Most of the time, these women can be convinced to give pleasure to their partners, too, but they might resent the idea.
Wonder if it’s worth dating one of these magical beasts? Read on to find out if the benefits outweigh the costs for you.
Pro: You won’t have to worry about sex hair.
If you’re not on the receiving end of sex, you probably won’t have to fix your hair as much after. Anyone who’s got long hair that’s easily tangled will appreciate that they don’t have to brush out a mess of knots when their hair tie comes out on the pillow. Because… Well, your head won’t be on the pillow.
Con: You won’t get to experience a direct-contact orgasm.
This isn’t a deal-breaker for everyone, as many women are able to achieve orgasm through mental stimulation, such as the type of stimulation you get when you cater to your partner. But for others, this can be frustrating, as you won’t have the physical orgasm – which is usually much stronger and more powerful.
Pro: You get to retain your “virginity”.
The subject of virginity is complicated, especially as it pertains to lesbians. There are a million different ways to define what makes it “sex”, but for many women, virginity is associated with a lack of penetration. If you’d prefer to keep your lady bits a secret until you’re ready to settle down for good, dating a Pillow Princess allows you to do just that – without anyone’s feelings getting hurt.
Con: Sexual frustration can definitely happen.
As the term implies, sexual frustration can be pretty frustrating. It’s not a big deal to everyone, since you’re obviously able to handle things on your own (masturbation is great like that) but if you’re not keen on touching yourself, you’re not going to be pleased with the limitations.
Pro: It’s less to worry about.
While safer sex is always the best option, if you only have to make sure that you’re being safe (and not making sure your partner is, too) you can effectively maximize your control. Less chances for someone skimping on the safety means less chances of getting a sexually transmitted disease.
Con: You’ll probably worry about where you stand.
If you’re not necessarily a “giver”, you could wonder if your partner is really interested in you, since she’s not willing to do for you as you’d do for her. It’s not an exact science, but we tend to associate someone’s willingness to do things for us (sexual, romantic, or otherwise) with how they feel about us – and if they seem to come up short, it can create questions.
Pro: No bad sex.
When you’re dating a Pillow Princess, you don’t have to worry about having bad sex with her – because you won’t be getting any. Bad sex can be more frustrating than no sex, at least to me.
Con: No good sex, either.
You’re not going to have good sex that completely blows your mind. You’re going to be the only one putting out your sexuality, and she’s just going to be eating it up – but not literally of course, because her head is on the pillow the whole time.
Pro: You could be her first.
Some women are deeply aroused by the idea of being the first anything. With Pillow Princesses, you could be the first woman she ever touches – isn’t that a sexy idea?
Con: You’d be her first.
As hot as it is to be someone’s first, there’s some “teaching” that goes along with it – rarely is anyone an expert right away. That experience you might have got when you were a teenager, she’ll just be starting to get now, as an adult. It’s not always a bad thing, but it can be its own source of frustrations.
What do you think I missed? Leave a comment to let me know your thoughts!