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The Sad Truth About Loving Your Best Friend From A Distance

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I think we’ve all been in the position before: We’re absolutely in love with someone, but they don’t feel the same way. In fact, if they knew how you felt about them, they’d probably never talk to you again. Honestly, we might not even fully understand how we feel – and that’s okay. Truly, love is never a bad thing, by itself. But when it doesn’t get returned, it can feel like the end of the world.

We know that not everyone we ever love is going to love us back. And we tell ourselves we’re okay with that, even if we’re not really. But we need to be – because we can’t change these things.

You can’t will someone to love you, any more than you can will yourself to stop loving someone.

No amount of good deeds will ever equal real love.

It can make things even more complicated if your friends truly do love you – but they’re not in love with you. It’s a painful distinction that has caused many a tear to fall.

What do you do when you’re stuck in this situation? Some of us might choose to take a leap of faith and profess our feelings for our friend. Even though we know those feelings might not be returned, we also know there is a chance that they might, and maybe the other person hasn’t gotten up the courage to say it – so we say it first.

Some of us lock it deep down inside, and hope that we can continue being the best Best Friend we could be. After all, love is about wanting to see someone happy, even if it makes you miserable… Right?

A third group might decide to seek out partners who remind us of all the good qualities we love about our BFF. Maybe they have the same smile, or the same kind eyes, or even something even more superficial, like the same T-shirt. While it seems like this is a good substitution, it leaves us longing for so much more, because we know this person could never be the person we really want.

No matter how you choose to handle it, one thing’s for sure: Being in love with someone you can’t have really sucks.

It’s hard to talk to them every day and know that you can’t have what you want. It’s hard to see them with someone they’re crazy about and wish it was you. It’s so hard to be able to hug them, but have to control how tight, or for how long, or any number of other factors that sometimes get out of our control.

But, sometimes, it’s even harder to walk away when you can’t stand the thought of losing them.

For your own self-help, though, this is probably the easiest solution, even if it might not feel like it. As much as our brains might tell us that something is better than nothing, it is so hard to settle for less than what you want – and, realistically, you shouldn’t. You deserve to be happy, and you won’t be happy if you’re constantly longing after someone you can’t have.

Walking away isn’t easy, but it’s a million times easier than staying and knowing that you’ll never have more.


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