Your Network, Your Community, Your Mix

Secrets To Successfully Approaching Women

Need some help with your pick-up game? We’ve got you covered!
1.87K 0

Often times, we come up with the most perfect pick-up lines in our head, but they aren’t effective on the girl we’re actually trying to pick up. It’s not necessarily our fault, it’s just that women are difficult to approach. I’m sure there are a million people out there who have the same problem, easily.

That doesn’t mean it has to be impossible, though. In fact, there are a few secrets that can keep you on the mind of the lady you’re crushing on – at least long enough for her to make a decision whether she wants to be with you or not.


Be Genuine!

Flirting-reaction-gifs_1

Nobody wants to be with someone fake. If you use phony lines in your pick-up, it might work in the short-term, but unless your only goal is to get her to bed, it’s not really an effective strategy for the long term.

If you have any type of future with this girl, she’s probably going to find out about any lies that you’ve told – and the less lies there are, the better. As humans, we’re almost programmed to lie, exaggerate, and do all sorts of things if it means we’ll look better – but we’re also programmed to reject these traits in others. We want to look our best, but we should never misrepresent ourselves in order to do this.

Instead of lying about your accomplishments and interests, you should focus on keeping them truthful. If you find that you don’t have a lot of positive attributes when you’re being honest, work to change them!

Okay, so there are some things you can’t change. Usually, these things are things you wouldn’t want to change even if you could – if it’s something you have no control over, why would you want to be with someone who won’t accept that part of you? Not only would you have to lie to get her, but you’d have to make sure she never found out the truth.

It’s extra work for you, and it’s super disrespectful to treat someone you care about like that. Just be genuine from the start and you won’t have anything to clean up later.


Be Realistic!

flirting-mistakes-1

If you’re pursuing a girl who only dates such-and-such types of women, and you don’t fall into that category, you shouldn’t be disappointed if she doesn’t fall for you. After all, she openly told you she wasn’t attracted to your “type” – so trying to convince her otherwise may be a fruitless endeavor.

Sure, sometimes it works out. My current girlfriend isn’t my “type”, after all, but we were able to work it out and I’m now the happiest I’ve ever been with anyone. Sometimes your persistence pays off. But that should be considered the exception rather than the rule. Feel free to pursue a woman who shows no interest in you – but don’t set your expectations too high, and don’t beat yourself up if you fail. It probably wasn’t meant to be.


Be Funny!

flirting-mistakes-5

Most women respond better to humor than any other approach. It’s not a guarantee, as I have definitely met some women who didn’t share my sense of humor, but if you keep the jokes classy and tasteful, you’re not likely to offend her even if your efforts fail.

Keep in mind: I said classy and tasteful. There are a million things you can joke about, and many of the “offensive” jokes may be funny to many people – but unless you have reason to believe otherwise, you should avoid these when first talking to someone.

If you can charm her and make her laugh in your first approach, she’s going to think about you – even if she doesn’t end up with you. After all, even in friends, we want someone who can make us laugh, right?

One of my favorite funny pick-up lines: “How much does a polar bear weigh?” When she says she doesn’t know, you respond with “Enough to break the ice!” and introduce yourself. Bam. Lady killer.


Be a Listener!

119157_orig

Chances are, if you pay close enough attention, your lady of interest will reveal cues about herself to you. If you want your approach to be the most successful, you’ll need to catch these cues and save them for the right moment. Sometimes that moment will be right away – responding quickly to a hint she drops is a sign to her that you’re a good listener, and that you’re interested in what she has to say.

It also helps you out in the long term if you pay attention to these things. Even after all this time with my current girlfriend, she surprises me with something I mentioned once that I wanted – and she delivers when she’s able to. It’s nice feeling like you don’t have to repeat yourself, and your partner will appreciate when she doesn’t have to, either.

It should go both ways, though. If you find out that your lady of interest doesn’t have any interest in listening to you – refer to “Be Realistic!” above. Sometimes, it’s just not meant to be – you can’t force it, you can only move forward.


 

Of course, there are easily a billion specific approaches you can use when trying to find a date, and your efforts will vary whether you’re looking for someone for the night or someone for the rest of your life. It’s most important to realize that you shouldn’t ever try to force something that isn’t going to work. The problem isn’t necessarily you!

As long as you’ve been as real as you can be, the right woman for you is out there. Don’t lock yourself into settling for the wrong one.


Subscribe to KitschMix's newsletter for more stories you don't want to miss.

Since you’re here …

Like many other media organisations, KitschMix is operating in an incredibly challenging financial climate. More people are reading the KitschMix than ever, but our advertising revenues are falling fast. So you can see why we need to ask for your help. KitschMix is an independent website that takes a lot of time, money and hard work to produce, but we do it because we believe women in the LGBTQ community need more positive visibility.

If everyone who reads our articles, who likes them, helps to support them, our future would be much more secure.

Make a contribution

FROM OUR PARTNERS

Author
Barbara is a 26-year-old lesbian living in California with her partner (and their “fur babies” - an adorably chubby puppy named Porkchop and a ball python named Ru). In the spare time she pretends to have, she enjoys horror movies, music of all varieties, reading, and complaining about the weather.

Leave a Reply

sign-up-insert-01