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Signs Your Lady Is Ready To Settle Down

Wondering if your lady is ready to be with you for the long-term? Here are a few hints to look for.
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Most people will eventually reach the point in their life where they are tired of being “single” (even if they’re in a relationship; a non-committed relationship can still make you feel as if you’re single sometimes). It can be hard to tell if you and your girlfriend are on the same page. Luckily, there are a few ways you can tell.

While none of these automatically mean anything by themselves, the more you can see in your relationships, the more likely it is that your girlfriend really is ready to be with you, and just you, for the foreseeable future.


1. You catch her looking at engagement rings online.

I am so bad about this. Even though I’ve got a gorgeous rock on my finger already, I still enjoy looking at other rings online. It doesn’t necessarily mean she’s looking to buy (or receive) one, but it can be a hint that it’s on her mind. Talk to her about it and see where she stands!

It’s possible that she just likes jewelry. I know with previous partners, I have bought “engagement-style rings” as a token of my affection, but made the stipulation that they weren’t actually meant as anything other than jewelry. Since engagement rings are, essentially, a tool of capitalism, the ring itself doesn’t mean anything unless you give it that meaning.


2. She spends more time at your place than at her own.

When my partner and I started seeing each other, I’d spend the weeks at my place (with her occasionally surprising me after I got home from work, and then walking to work with me in the morning before returning to her own house). However, after a while, I started spending more time at her place and less time at my place. Eventually, I moved the last bit of stuff out of my place and either into hers or into a storage unit.

It’s important to know that this isn’t the only reason why this can happen. In my situation, it was an equal mix of not getting along with my roommates, as well as a statement of my commitment to her. But even if you’ve got the worst roommates on the planet, you’re probably not going to spend all your time with a girl you’re not serious about – so keep that in mind!


3. She’s got a Pinterest board full of wedding plans.

This is another one that doesn’t necessarily mean anything. Particularly the most romantic among us love the idea of planning a wedding that may or may not happen. I’ve got a Pinterest board that was started long before my current relationship, but in time I invited my partner to view parts of it and “sign off” on the ideas for our own wedding.

Pinterest appeals to planners and organizers, and as such it’s not the be-all and end-all of wedding planning. But if she seems to be particularly gushy about it, or she asks your opinions about the things she pins – well, maybe it’s time you start planning, too!


4. She picked out a pet for the two of you.

If you and your partner have a pet together, you might want to consider it a commitment of its own. There’s nothing about a pet that inherently says the two of you will be together forever, but there is some aspect of commitment involved – especially if she refers to it as your “fur baby”.

Of course, there are some who oppose the idea of calling your pets your “fur babies”, and I used to be one of them. But with one as cute as this one (yes, this is actually my fur baby) – how can you not?


5. She invites you to all her family gatherings.

As gay women, it’s sometimes difficult for us to include our partners in our family events. Whether it’s because we’re not out, or we face discrimination about the specifics of our romantic relationships, your girlfriend bringing you along to family functions might signify that she’s willing to risk it just to make sure you know her family.

The first time I brought my girlfriend around my extended family, it was a huge deal to me. It was my little way of saying “Get used to her – she’s not going anywhere.” Not everyone is as selective about it, but it’s always a good sign if you’re included.


6. She tells you she wants to settle down with you.

Hey, for some of us, settling down is hard. It’s not that we don’t want to, it’s just that we’re not really set up like that. If your partner goes out of her way to tell you that she wants you in her life for the foreseeable future, I’d listen – this is rarely a lie.

It’s not impossible that it’s not true, but most people won’t bother with saying something this serious if they don’t mean it. If it’s accompanied by the other signs on this list, it’s a safe bet that she means it!


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Author
Barbara is a 26-year-old lesbian living in California with her partner (and their “fur babies” - an adorably chubby puppy named Porkchop and a ball python named Ru). In the spare time she pretends to have, she enjoys horror movies, music of all varieties, reading, and complaining about the weather.

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