Connect
To Top

How To Stop Your Pets From Killing The Mood

Pets are great, aren’t they?

About a month or two ago, I had a little situation with my anxiety. No one was home except me and my dog, and my entire body was racing over who-knows-what. I was on the verge of tears, and my dog seemed to know exactly what to do to help calm me down. I don’t think I’ve ever been quite so grateful to have her around.

Then, not even a full week later, she invited herself up into my bed at the worst possible time, and adamantly tried to wiggle herself in between my girlfriend and I. We’d forgotten to put her to bed before beginning our romantic festivities. If you’ve never been violently shoved out of the mood by a pet, let me tell you… It’s pretty awkward.

This isn’t even the first time my dog has done this, either. When she was little, we’d have to stick her in a kennel before getting intimate… All because one time she started trying to nurse on my exposed nipple. As awkward as bad-timing-cuddles are, wrong-species-nipple-licks are the absolute worst. (Well, I’ve heard it’s even more awkward if your pet actually physically touches your genitals, but this is something I thankfully haven’t experienced.)

She’s not even the first pet that I’ve had that tried to get involved, either. An ex-girlfriend had a dog that would try to hump the leg of whoever was humping on his bed. A Chihuahua I used to own would (audibly) cry from the corner of the room the second the pants came off. Once I even dated a girl whose cat would sit on the headboard and watch. (We mostly had sex at my place after that.)

According to pet lifestyle expert Wendy Diamond, some animals just react strangely when they see their pet parents getting it on. “Some dogs are not phased by their owner having sex in front of them and do not exhibit behavioral signs of excitement or stress.” In cases where the pet does act out, she says it’s likely based on territorial guarding. She says that this territorial guarding “can cause some dogs to think that their pet parent is being attacked by his or her sexual partner, on what the dog believes to be his bed.”

So, essentially, when your pets ruin the mood, it’s because they love you. Or something like that. They don’t exactly understand the concept of human sex, but they do see the things that their parents do, and in some cases may try to mimic that behavior, in an effort to not be left out.

Obviously, that’s not the type of playing you want to do with your dog, so let’s explore some of Wendy’s tips to see what you can do to keep this from happening again.


Option #1: Remove the pet from the bedroom.

Sometimes, the simplest solution is the one that works: Take your pet out of the bedroom when you’re going to be intimate – either with yourself, or with a partner. Some pets will become excited, as they think you’re playing. Others may be aroused, although they probably don’t understand why. Still more are doing it to express dominance – whether over their owner or the bed. This type of loyalty is one of the things we love about our pets, but that doesn’t mean we want it when we’re trying to get busy.

Unfortunately, in issues of dominance or separation anxiety, it might not be helpful to put the dog out of the room. Your dog may whine and scratch at the door, which isn’t exactly going to help things along in the bed anyway. While he’s not getting in on the action, he is a major distraction to you. So what do you do now?


Option #2: Train the dog to stay off the bed.

Okay, so I’ll admit: This is another sort of obvious answer. If your dog normally sleeps in the bed with you and your partner, she may feel that the bed is hers. This isn’t normally a problem, but when she thinks that you’re trying to do harm to the thing that she thinks is hers, she’s going to act up. (Keep in mind this is coming from someone who had to bottle-raise her own dog… We’ve dealt with some separation anxiety problems over the time she’s been alive.)

Training your dog to stay off the bed isn’t as difficult as you might expect, but it will require that she has a substitute bed of her own. My dog has a bright pink kennel with a giant comforter in the bottom, but she’s a bit spoiled, too. You should also keep things in the kennel that make your dog happy, to encourage her to go in it on her own. It usually only takes a few weeks to train a dog to go to their own bed, as long as you stay consistent.


Option #3: Get them fixed.

Most likely, a dog trying to jump into your sex life isn’t because of the sex itself, but there is a connection between unaltered dogs and this “horny” behavior. Along with potentially helping with behavioral issues, spaying and neutering could also save your pet’s life.

If the dog is too old to be safely spayed or neutered, or you choose not to get them fixed for other reasons, obedience training may help. After all, it’s not really about sex – it’s about their reaction to the sex.


Leave a Reply

More in Life

  • 10 Valentine’s Day Sex Positions For An Unforgettably Romantic Night

    Whether you two are in love, like, or lust, Valentine’s Day is the perfect excuse to have sex that’s as dirty...

    KitschMix.com StaffFebruary 2, 2018
  • 8 Tips For The Most Perfect Date Ever

    Have you ever been on a date that was… Not so great, to say the least? You accidentally knocked your wine...

    Barbara WardDecember 24, 2017
  • 17 Ways to Make the Most Out Of Your Long-Term Relationship

    Getting ready to enter a long-distance relationship? Make sure you’re remembering these 17 tips first. 1. See it as an opportunity....

    Barbara WardDecember 23, 2017
  • 9 Things You Lose When You Say Sorry

    Human communication is a crazy thing. The entire planet has had thousands upon thousands of years to get it all right…...

    Barbara WardDecember 22, 2017
  • 9 Unavoidable Truths About Long-Distance Relationships

    Long-distance relationships are a lot harder than other relationships. That’s not to say they aren’t worth it – for the right...

    Barbara WardDecember 13, 2017
  • Older Lesbians and Bi Women Suffer More Chronic Health Conditions Than Heterosexuals, Study Finds

    According to a new study, Lesbian and bisexual older women are more likely than heterosexual older women to suffer chronic health...

    KitschMix.com StaffSeptember 2, 2017
  • The 888 Collective Aims To Help Those With Mental Health Issues Into Work

    The 888 Collective is a new UK based enterprise, which hopes to help those with mental health issues into work. Set...

    KitschMix.com StaffAugust 30, 2017
  • What Will Sex Be Like in the Future?

    On one hand, sex has stayed the same since the beginning of time – after all, male and female bodies haven’t...

    J MarieJune 13, 2017
  • #SafeWordSociety Is the Safe Space Podcast We Need Right Now

    A safe word is magical. Many couples use it during sex, especially when practicing BDSM. If you get too overwhelmed with...

    J MarieJune 13, 2017
  • How Shakespeare Can Teach You To Pick Up Girls

    When it came to being a playboy, Shakespeare was worse than Shane from the L Word. Hard to believe, right? How...

    J MarieJune 12, 2017

A dedicated website for Lesbians, Bi, Trans, and Gay women; offering posts on lesbian lifestyle, LGBTQ news, lesbian film rental, health advice, lesbian dating and more...

Latest News

  • Gillian Anderson: ‘I Could Be Dating A Woman Next Year’

  • Watch: Rachel McAdams, Rachel Weisz Spark Forbidden Passion In ‘Disobedience’

  • Ellen DeGeneres Moved To Tears By Wife Portia De Rossi’s Birthday Gift

  • Coronation Street Actress Discusses Playing Soap’s First Lesbian Muslim Character

  • 10 Valentine’s Day Sex Positions For An Unforgettably Romantic Night

Most Shared Posts

  • Science Proves That Homophobia Means You’re (Probably) Gay...
    According to a study in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, homophobes are “more lik
    189.7k Shares
  • The Queer Muslim Movement Is Growing...
    In America, Muslims are often depicted as intolerant and bigoted. However, more and more Muslims are
    37.4k Shares
  • 31 Beautiful Lesbian Wedding Photos That Prove Two Brides Are Better T...
    We’re feeling the love here at KitschMix HQ. These stunning photos celebrate the love and joy that
    35k Shares