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Straight Girl Debate: Should You Be Flirting Back When You Know Its A No-Go?

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Have you ever been interested in a flirty, straight girl who just feeds off your attention? Yeah, me too.

Sometimes you just have to accept when an emotionally deprived friend just wants you to give her the validation and devotion that some men can’t—and stop staring at her bust.

It may be difficult to accept that some people won’t ever be interested in you, no matter how close to the two of you become.

It’s because you can’t change other people’s sexual preference any more than you can change your own, even if they lead you on to think you can.

Many women, especially in unhappy relationships, will find your flirtations flattering, and may even flirt back.

But I caution you, many straight women don’t realize that your feelings are valid.

If you have a friend who you’re trying to display your feelings for, and you know for a fact that she likes men, be wary.

Sure, sometimes you can get lucky and she can turn out to be bisexual, or a closeted lesbian herself, but that’s not always the case.

Think about these three questions when you’re trying to define your relationship:

  1. Does she play your flirtations off as a joke? Even if she thinks your advances are complimentary, be careful to identify if she takes them seriously at all.
  2. Does she talk to you about men in her life regularly? This could be a nice way of trying to let you know that she’s not interested in women. She could be unsure about how to spare your feelings and let you know that your relationship is platonic.
  3. How is her body language? Teasing you with words is easy enough, but does she regularly touch you in any intimate way? This question can be difficult, because you often also have to evaluate if she’s physical with anyone else in her life to identify how open she is with her body. Further, some contact could be just a means to keep you hooked, and maybe she is just far too infatuated by your affection to pay your feelings any heed.

Ultimately, if you’re good enough friends, discussing these issues is ideal. But it’s not always easy, and the answers might be difficult to take.

Just remember that you can’t force anyone to feel the same way about you that you do about them.

Being a lesbian has always challenged me to be a more enchanting and interesting person, but sometimes, that’s just not enough.

It’s not like you meet a wonderful girl who has a boyfriend, and although you like her, you just have to wait it out.

Because most of the time, no matter how long and diligently you wait, how many times you’re there for her and tell her how special she is, she will never, ever, in a million years, feel the same about you.

No matter how charming you are.

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Suzie Carter is the Senior Women’s Writer at KitschMix. Listed among her achievements are performing stand-up, graduating from London Met and writing for her favourite publications. She enjoys covering women’s topics, watching celebrities self-destruct and rising to any occasion.

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