The L Word is one of those shows that most of my generation ended up finding late at night, in their room, by surprise. After all, when the show came out, Netflix wasn’t right on your computer or tablet yet – we had to make do with what we had.
For so many of us, this was the first image of lesbians we really saw before we came out (Buffy and Xena excluded, of course). Now that we’ve had some time to grow up, we have questions. So… Many…. Questions.
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1. What is with Shane’s style in Seasons 1-2?
I get the whole rockstar vibe, but did she have to pick rockstars from the ‘70s? We had so many bigger fashion icons that she could have emulated from the music industry. Hell, even Elton John could have been a good look for her – so why did she look like Mick Jagger and Keith Richards?
2. And then, the rest of the seasons, too?
Okay, I’ll admit that I was sucked into the “Sexy Shane” idea for a few years… But I think it’s because she was shown as this Sex Goddess who dressed a bit like me. Albeit, the stuff never looked like that on me because I am substantially bigger than super-skinny Shane. But she basically looks unkempt throughout the whole series, and magically women fall for her like crazy. What’s up with that?
3. But really, what’s up with everyone’s style in the early seasons?
Considering how fashion-forward most of them ended up being in later seasons, it’s a little weird that everyone was so unfashionable in the first couple seasons. I mean, back then I wasn’t too terribly fashionable either, but I didn’t live in a posh neighborhood in LA – I lived in a little country town about forty minutes away from anything worth mentioning. Surely, these women had to have access to high-fashion outlets in Los Angeles.
4. Why are Bette and Tina friends with Shane?
They have literally nothing in common, and they wouldn’t even hang out if they weren’t neighbors, right? Even then, I’ve never been that cozy with random stranger neighbors… Especially those who were from obviously different socioeconomic statuses. Which brings us to…
5. How did Shane, Jenny, and that whole crew afford to live next door to Bette and Tina anyway?
I can tell you from personal experience, being a writer doesn’t pay too much – especially if you’re just kinda going your own way with it, like Jenny did. Shane is a hairdresser to the stars, but she barely ever goes to work and she keeps pissing off clients or getting in trouble with their significant others – how does she even still have a job? Right next door are rich-and-successful Bette and Tina, who have so much money saved up that Bette literally pays for an apartment for Tina as well as keeping up the bills at her own place… What?! How are these two houses even on the same street?!
6. What’s up with The Chart?
I get that this is a major plot point in the show, but how did this actually come about – and how did it grow so friggin’ big? Wouldn’t people want to maintain a little privacy in this part of their lives, especially those who were definitely in the closet about the whole thing? And the Papi hub suggested that people were literally updating their Chart status immediately after getting it on. This is rude, and no one would really keep up with something like this – especially someone as… Ahem… “Busy” as Papi.
7. Does anyone ever really go to work?
Not all of the characters even have jobs, and they’re rarely seen going to work – except Tina and Max, and of course anyone who works at The Planet, at least while they’re working there. Seriously – these people pay for their fancy houses and better fashion choices by barely ever going to work. I don’t buy it. I work 6-7 days a week and can barely afford my coffee addiction.
8. Why is Shane so irresistible?
I already touched on this one before, but really, what is it about Shane that has women entranced? I think maybe it’s a representation of what we all wish we could be… But that’s not realistic, of course. Shane would not have really been pulling in the babes, between her cursed reputation and completely disheveled appearance throughout the majority of the series.
9. Why did Bette and Tina end up together?
They were so wrong for each other, and not because Bette couldn’t keep her eyes on only Tina. Tina was a bit manipulative and controlling, and she was always in some type of pissy mood. Plus, what was with that whole cybersex thing – did we ever really believe it was just curiosity? Maybe this is my inner insecurities taking precedence – I had an ex who went looking for a piece of side action with a straight guy while we were together – but that would have been just as bad as cheating in my book. And those nicknames… Ugh. Gag.
10. Why do we feel so compelled to sing the stupid theme song?
Even if you’ve never actually sung along, you know every word – admit it. And you hate that song, but still, when you hear that intro, you start revving up and picturing the opening credits from your favorite season, no matter which season is actually on at the time.
11. How are there so many single women in LA?
Lesbians aren’t known for staying single, and any time a new lesbian enters their circle, she’s miraculously single. Most lesbians I know wouldn’t make a big move like that without their girlfriends… Anyway, I find it pretty hard to believe that many lesbians enter their world without a girlfriend. Look it over again – how many women come into the plot specifically to destroy a relationship? How is everyone just so OK with hooking up with someone else’s girlfriend?
12. Why did Ivan get mad at Kit?
Or, worded differently, why did he give her a key to his place if she wasn’t allowed to use it? Like, hello, she knows you’re transgender, and she adores you anyway – obviously it’s not her who’s making a big deal out of things and being awkward.
13. Why didn’t Jenny kick out Mr. Creepy like, yesterday?
As soon as I find out I’m being recorded without my knowledge, you’re going to be out of the picture – even if I willingly have sex with you on a regular basis. There is no way I would let someone who has shown a complete breach of personal space to continue living in my spare room. Not a chance. There’s no making up for that.
14. Why didn’t we see more Joyce and Phyllis?
They were probably the cutest couple on the show, and they were barely even on the show. I would have watched the hell out of a spin-off show. It’s not too late, ladies – please team up again and be awesome older crime fighting vigilante lesbian goddesses. Is that too much to ask for?
15. Why didn’t we get to see more of Helena in prison?
It might be one of the most overdone lesbian storylines ever, but we would all watch another lesbian women’s prison TV show – admit it. (I’d settle for a cameo on Orange is the New Black – oh please, can we have a crossover?!)
16. Who actually killed Jenny?
Rumors have been started a million times about this subject. Everyone has heard someone’s theories before, and made their own. Who do you think did it? Tell us in the comments!
(p.s. – I heard a rumor that Alice whispers she did it at the end of the final episode – but I haven’t verified this yet… Planning to dig up a recap for proof!)
