Tag Archives: Butch Visibility

Butches And Babies

I am the type of woman who loves seeing pictures of happy families. Everyone complains when one of their Facebook friends shares 30 million updates of their little ones, but I eat it up. Hey, just because I’m not ready to start a family of my own doesn’t mean I can’t enjoy the cuteness of someone else’s.

But one thing that’s seriously lacking from my Facebook feed is pictures of butch women and their little bundles of joy.

Even though many women are beginning to brace their butch identities, not as many are actively showing their families – there’s this social stigma surrounding being “stereotypically gay” and dealing with kids. It’s one of the lingering examples of self-perpetuated homophobia.

(Admittedly, when I was working in childcare, I felt the need to dress “less gay” while I was working with my kids, and I know I’m not the only one.)

But for those of you looking for your daily dose of lesbian cuteness, Butches and Babies may be just the ticket.

How can you resist this?!

“Jess + Jailen | Jess and her nephew Jailen on his first birthday! Time flies.”

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Robyn + Billie + Alysa // “At a friend’s wedding, their photographer captured an amazing family portrait! My wife, Alysa and myself, holding our baby daughter, Billie. It was a beautiful day!”
”Jane + Brady”
”Davina + Novaleigh | My wife wearing our youngest daughter Novaleigh.”

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Trevin + Shamae // “We wore the same thing to Thanksgiving dinner. First time meeting my new nephew.” tumblr_nvi1bfr7bI1qms4kto1_1280

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Pat + Izzy / “2 year old Izzy and me, post rice-Krispie treat extravaganza.”

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Givonna + Tristan // “Can you tell that I forced him to wear this costume?”

While not all of the pictures on the site are butch women with their own children (many are pictures with nieces and nephews) this is a big step in removing the stigmas of being gay and dealing with children. And not only that – they’re insanely cute, too.

Why this is so important

For those of us who are deeply immersed in the lesbian community, we may wonder, “Why is this such a big deal?” But think about this: Outside of your own social circle, how many butch lesbians can you think of who have public family lives? Most likely, the answer is very few or none.

Butch women have long been the subject of social scrutiny. They come with their own set of first impressions before they’ve even said anything, and it often extends to other gay women as well – not just the most naïve of our straight allies.

Even in the gay community, butch lesbian women are treated as cultural stereotypes. It’s assumed that they like sports, and working on cars, and flannel. It’s assumed that they prefer to “give” in the bedroom. It’s assumed that they’re abusive toward their partners. It’s assumed that they really want to be a man.

Why is any of this a fair assessment?

In short, it’s not.

But in order to break free of the stereotypes, we must be willing to show that they’re only stereotypes. Everyone deserves to be treated as an individual, but the ease of latching onto the narrowest of descriptions is hard to break. It’s going to be a long road to true visibility, but luckily Butches and Babies has started to pave the way.

‘Orange Is the New Black’ Lea DeLaria Talks About Butch Visibility

During the Netflix dramedy’s panel on Tuesday at the Television Critics Association press tour, the cast of Orange Is the New Black were on hand to field questions from reporters on the show.

In attendance was Taylor Schilling, Uzo Aduba, Taryn Manning, Selenis Leyva, Lea DeLaria and Natasha Lyonne.

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Although the cast were tight-lipped about its fourth season, they did shed a lot of light on the show to-date.

One thing they did discuss was the impact the show had made on LGBT visibility.

The show is considered a force for the LGBT movement. With its diverse characters and raw storytelling, it has been a voice for those who have long been without one.

DeLaria, who plays Boo, said the Netflix series has helped to “win the hearts and minds of people.”

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In season 3 we got to see Boo’s backstory. DeLaria expanded on the similarities between her own past and Boo’s, praising OITNB’s writers, and adding that.

I actually had to call [writer] Lauren Morelli and ask if she had read my f—king diary. Butches have a shared life experience and you saw all of it in Boo’s backstory.

She continued.

“My parents actually learned. They actually listened to me. They actually became people who understood that being comfortable in my own skin and having no apologies for who I am was an important thing in this world. And then, they grew to understand me and I grew to understand them, and we love each other very dearly and were very close until the day they both passed.

So that’s the only difference, I think, between Boo’s story and mine. Unfortunately, the story that they showed, Boo’s story, is all too common. Way too common.”

The Netflix star also spoke about impact on the LGBT community:

The politics of the LGBT community has been about gaining our rights, fighting for our rights, achieving our rights. And recently it’s been turned a little bit more towards winning the hearts and minds of people.”

DeLaria added.

A large part of what we’ve done [with regards to] the politics of the LGBT community has been about gaining our rights, fighting for our rights and achieving our rights. Recently, it’s turned more toward winning the hearts and minds of people. I feel very strongly that Orange Is the New Black has been very important in that part of what has happened to us and our community.”

DeLaria and cast-mates are currently shooting Season 4 of Orange.