The universal truth about dating is this: People want what they think they can’t have.
I’m not saying this is good. I’m simply saying we all like the chase, and we all enjoy being kept on our toes a bit.
Dating is a game, and I think sarcastic people have a natural edge over the competition.
Well-crafted sarcasm is attractive, because it demonstrates intelligence, a sense of humour, emotional IQ, confidence, style and an edge of sassy flirtation.
You can’t help but gravitate toward the hilarious woman who can hold her own, make people laugh and win over the hearts of the crowd, which very well might be your friends.
BUT, be warned sarcastic people can be a nightmare to date (yes, I admit it).
Here are a few things you should know about dating a sarcastic woman:
1. They’re always messing with you
Don’t take it too seriously. They’re playful, like cats with laser pointers. You’re the cat and they’re the laser pointer. Just take the joke and throw it back, okay?
2. Mean comments are displays of affection
There’s nothing more intimate or affectionate than me calling you an asshole and kissing you afterwards, trust me.
3. They remember everything
That time you tripped, spilt your drink… shut your finger in the door. They like to keep their joke bank fresssssh, so don’t think that anything goes unnoticed or is off limits.
4. They come off cocky, but it’s a front
5. If you don’t know if they’re joking, safe to assume they’re joking
6. They ARE laughing at you, but that’s because they like you
7. They have soft, gooey centres under the hard exteriors
They’re only this sarcastic because they have many layers of depth and feelings. For every mean thing they joke about, they have five more nice things to say about you.
8. If they ignore you in a big group, it means they like you, yes you, the one their not talking to
They’ll never be the ball and chain, and the more they ignore you, the more they can make eyes at you and mouth “I hate you,” which is basically a sign of head-over-heels, stupid crazy affection.
9. “I hate you” means “I love you”
10. They will say something really mean and immediately wish they didn’t say it
It’s almost like sarcasm is this involuntary reaction and they. Can’t. Stop. Being. Sarcastic.
11. They will occasionally say something incredibly sincere, but you won’t notice because you’ll think they’re being sarcastic
12. They actually have a lot of feelings
13. They’re bad with making the first move
They truly, honestly do not know how to give you the signal that they like you or that they care about you. They are hoping you will see through their sarcasm and see they’re basically dying for you to notice them.
14. Being sincere doesn’t come easy
So when they get serious, you need to pay attention. (Or like cherish it or whatever).
15. In the truest reality, you’re dating a sensitive, affectionate, loving lady
Sarcastic girls are really the sweetest girls. Just shut up about it, okay?
Nothing keeps a relationship on its toes so much as lively debate. It a good thing then that my girlfriend and I agree on absolutely nothing. Combine utter, polar disagreement on everything, ever, with the fact that I am a text-book ‘Only Child’, and she the second-youngest of five – and we’re warming up.
So feel my pain, when you read about some of the things we’ve argued about.
1. Preparing a fruit salad.
That’s correct. To be precise the way one should cut a Kiwi Fruit in half (along its length or across the middle).
2. Leaving the bathroom door open.
Three times a day that one, minimum.
3. The best way to wash up.
4. Those little toothpaste speckles you make when you brush your teeth in front of the mirror.
5. The way I eat food.
I eat a chocolate bars without the need to snap them into individual pieces. My GF accused me of doing this, ‘deliberately to annoy her’.
6. The amount of time I spend on the computer. (OK, fair enough)
7. Which type of hover to buy
Price wasn’t an issue, it was the principle.
8. Where to sit in the cinema
On those occasions when we a) manage to agree to go to the cinema together and, b) go to see the same film once we’re there. (No, really).
9. TV Viewing.
She enters the room. I’m watching television. She announces ‘we’ should watch something together, which means she doesn’t want to watch what I’m watching.
10. She wants to paint our bedroom blue. I have no words for that.
11. Watching films on the TV.
What she likes, is to sit by me while I narrate the entire film to her. ‘Who’s she?’, ‘Why did he get shot?’, ‘I thought that one was on their side?’, ‘Is that a bomb’
‘JUST WATCH IT! IN THE NAME OF GOD, JUST WATCH IT!’
12. Or she adds her own commentary to a film.
With such interjections as, ‘Hey look! They’re the cushions we’ve got’, ‘Isn’t she the one who does that yoghurt advert?’ and, ‘Oh, I’ve seen this – he gets killed at the end.’
13. She thinks I’m shallow
My GF thinks I’m shallow because… I spend over an hour doing my hair in front of a mirror. During this argument, usually in the bathroom – our second most popular location for arguments – She’ll say ‘None of the other women I’ve been with,’ (my, but it’s all I can do to stop myself hugging her when she begins sentences like that).
14. She makes me carry her stuff
She refuses to carry a bag, yet needs to bring out multiple items, which either get slipped into my pockets or bag.
15. I’m not arguing, then why are you yelling debate
16. Me commenting on her outfit choice.
17. The TV Remote.
There are four causes for argument…
1) Ownership of the TV Remote: this is signified by it’s being on the arm of the chair/sofa closest to you – it is more important than life itself.
2) On those blood-freezing occasions when you look up from your seat to discover that the TV Remote is still lying on top of the TV, then one of you must retrieve it; who shall it be? And how will this affect (1)?
3) Disappearance of the TV Remote. Precisely who had it last will be hotly disputed, witnesses may be called. Things can turn very nasty indeed when the person who isn’t looking for it is revealed to be unknowingly sitting on it.
4) The TV Remote is a natural nomad and sometimes, may the Lord protect us, it goes missing for whole days. During these dark times, someone must actually, in an entirely literal sense, get up to change the channel; International Law decrees that this, “will not be the person who did it last” – but can this be ascertained? Without the police becoming involved?
You did it. You sent the girl you like a text. But here comes the ‘wait-for-a-reply’ moment, and waiting for a response can feel like being in purgatory.
1. Go, me!
You wanted to say something, so you made the first move and texted her.
2. Hmm, still no response. Maybe she’s busy.
3. But she always has her phone on her.
4. OK, what could she actually be doing?
5. Did I send this to the right person?
6. Putting the phone away now.
7. Let me just check to see if she answered.
8. Maybe I’ll just make sure my phone’s still working.
9. Yep, it’s working.
10. OMG, my phone’s vibrating.
11. Oh. It’s not her.
12. You know, whatever. If she’s going to be like this, I don’t need her.
13. Wait, she answered! Finally.
Hahahaha, she made a little joke. She’s so cute. *Heart-eyed emoji*
Dating and relationships can be many things, but they should never be games.
A healthy relationship does not depend on lies, tricks, guilty secrets, dramatics, or any of the other games.
The “Game Player” – a person who has romantic affairs and/or sexual relations with other women or men but will not commit to any one relationship, often to the contrary of her words and actions.
Here 10 tips that will help you recognise them and hopefully stop the madness…
1. She’s not quite over her ex
‘Not being quite over an ex’ equates to her not planning on making room for you.
2. She’s always saying ‘sorry’
We all make mistake, and when we do, we admit we are sorry. Why – well, we say sorry to pardon our actions and spare the other person of the upset we have caused. Saying sorry multiple times is a contradiction. If she is really is sorry, she won’t do it again, and again, and AGAIN.
3. She denies your relationship
Behind closed doors you’re her cutie pie, but as soon as you’re out you’re simply an acquaintance. You’ve seen and heard her poo; seen her naked and binged watched ‘Orange is the New Black’ together!
4. She dodges date nights
She’s an advocate of the ‘treat em mean, keep em keen’ dating philosophy. She runs late, then texts that she’s not able to meet you, then spends the whole of that evening texting you how much she missed you/likes you/wants to be with you. Lame.
5. She’s a Facebook flirt
She flirts relentlessly with others over Facebook (posting suggestive messages on walls; hinting at plans to ‘catch up’; signing off with winks and kisses).
6. She baits you for a reaction
She constantly tries to ‘bait’ you for a reaction. For example, she will blatantly perve on others; flirt with waitresses, and your friends.
7. She confesses her love after a week
If she falls in love with you in a week, you can be sure she will fall in love with some else a week after you call it quits. Needy.
8. She’s emotionally unavailable
She likes you, but she just can’t commit. Maybe she’s been hurt before, or maybe the feelings just aren’t there. Regardless, she is not ready for you and all you have to offer.
9. Your friends don’t trust her
When all your friends think one way, you need to look for the common denominator. Why do they not trust her? Well, because 9/10 times she’s given them cause not to.
10. She loves to lie
Whether she’s lying to you, her friends, her work place or herself, she is not ready to confront the truth, be honest, and own up to whom she really is.
11. She’s doesn’t want to meet the important people in your life
If it is important to you, it should be important to her – right? If you plan to have a future with her, she needs to recognise her future now consists of your friends and family.
Here’s a fun fact – according to clinical psychologist Dr Martha Stout, 1 in 25 people are sociopaths. Which means there is a possibility that you could be one!
In a world filled with late-night booty calls, infidelity and lust, it’s easy to become jaded by today’s dating scene.
As women, we brace ourselves for the worst, proceeding with extreme caution during the first few months, for fear of falling victim to heartbreak.
So, it’s a welcome relief when we stumble upon those few true women who show a bit of chivalry.
In fact, they radiate gallantry with even their smallest actions, and remind us that there are still good ones out there.
Here are 13 everyday gestures that will melt a women’s heart.
1. She opens the doors
A woman who takes the time to come around and open the car door for you is a keeper. It shows they put your comfort and well-being first, even if it’s just for a few extra seconds.
2. She saves the last bite of food
They say the way to a butch’s heart is through her stomach. So, when she saves the last bite for you, it’s basically her saying she likes you more than whatever meal is in front of her. Which, for the record, is a lot.
3. She suffers through girly movies
When your GF volunteers to endure a girly show or movie because she knows you’ll enjoy it, she earns major bonus points. Even more if she does so without complaining or expecting something in return.
4. She sends you flowers.
I’m not talking a one-time-buy at Valentine’s Day. I’m talking about the grocery store assortment she picked up on a random Tuesday while thinking of you. There’s just something about unexpected flowers that makes a girl smile.
5. Walking on the outside of the sidewalk.
The first time someone does this, you will probably be confused, but then you’ll start to question how come other women in your life have never been concerned about positioning themselves in such a way that you’d be protected should curb side tragedy strike.
6. Kissing your forehead.
Sure, if you’re hoping to date someone and she does this, it can be a dreaded sign of sibling-like affection. But, if you’re in a long-term relationship and your guy does this, it’s a small gesture that can make you feel adored.
7. Putting your jacket on
Women are fully capable of putting their own jackets on, but it’s not a question of ability. It’s gentlemanly and kind for someone to hold out your jacket for you or offer you theirs when it’s cold.
8. She is always punctual.
There’s no excuse for being late. Respect my time. And if I’m late, don’t draw attention to it. The correct answer to the question “how long have you been waiting” is “I just got here a few minutes ago.” Never keep a woman waiting.
9. She gets you safely to the door.
Your safety, comfort, and well-being are her first and foremost priority. After a date, meeting, dinner… whatever… she makes sure that you get home safely and thanks you for the pleasure of your company.
10. Always listens.
If you want to get to know a person, ask them questions… and listen to their responses. Listening does not mean “waiting for your chance to talk.” It means being attentive, learning to read responses, understand reactions, and navigate someone’s emotional landscape.
11. She keeps her word and a secret.
Don’t commit yourself to any obligation that you are not willing to brave fire, famine, and flood to fulfil. Likewise, when you are entrusted with a secret, guard it as closely as you do your own. There is no breakup, no fight, no argument, no falling out that absolves you from this responsibility. Live and die with the secrets entrusted to you locked away in your heart.
12. She pays attention to details.
Take mental notes. My likes. My dislikes. My shoe size. My ring size. My favourite colour. This information will prove useful and when it does – when you show up with a bundle of lavender because you know it reminds me of my grandmother – it shows you care.
13. She goes out of her way to let you know she cares. Every. Single. Day.
Flowers. Affectionate post-it notes. Spa days. Simple compliments. All of those things add up. So show your affection every day.
When we begin a relationship, we aim to be the very best version of ourselves.
We’re always clean, always shaven and never discuss anything that portrays us in a negative light.
But we’re all human, and humans are pretty gross creatures. We can’t sustain this level of perfection, and eventually, the stuff we worked so hard to keep hidden comes out — literally.
Here’s how you know the love is real.
1. There’s no demand to shave.
The beauty of a comfortable relationship is that you only need to shave if you want to. There’s no longer that weird pressure to do so to impress someone.
Once
Now
2. You fart in front of each other.
You’ve probably spent the first six-to-18 months of your relationship convincing your girlfriend that you never fart. Then, one night, it will happen – the inevitable occurs – and there’s no turning back now. You both fart freely in front of each.
3. You pee with the door open.
If you’re in the middle of a crucial conversation, why end it just because one of you has to pee? Just leave the door open a crack, continue with that thought and let it out.
4. You freely discuss your bowl movements.
A new milestone in any relationship is reached when someone mentions their bowels, so you know you’ve hit peak comfort level with your girlfriend when you can discuss how much you have to sh*t.
5. A new hobby involves popping pimples and blackheads.
For some reason some of us get a sick pleasure out of popping pimples and blackheads. We love any kind of beauty routine that promises cleanliness and purity, even if the process is painful.
However, if your girlfriend offers to pop your pimples — that is, willingly come face-to-face with your dirt and gunk — take it as a sign that she finds even the grossest parts of you appealing and worthy of your touch.
6. Sicknesses dose not make kissing off-limits.
Your oozing boogies, and she’s got crusty Pink Eye. Your cough is loud and un-controllable. She just puked. But nothing stops you from wanting to take care of her — and maybe even get physical.
Even with snot seeping from her nose and dark circles under her eyes, your girlfriend is just as appealing as the day you first met.
7. Weight gain isn’t a big deal.
In this media-driven, image-obsessed world, we all strive to have the best bodies. These strategies are effective for the beginning of a relationship, but once you’re deep in one, laziness inevitably sets in.
When you’re in a relationship, you may notice changes in your significant other’s body overtime. Maybe you notice a pooch forming when you’re naked, or maybe you find you need to buy a bigger sized shirt than last year for this year’s Christmas present.
But weight doesn’t matter. You still remember them exactly how they were when you first met, and you still love them with the extra pounds.
Bonus thing – Despite all of this, you actually still find your significant other sexy.
This is not a matter of simply tolerating these gross things; it’s a matter of still thinking your partner is incredibly hot regardless of them.
There’s one thing we’re all chasing after, and that is love.
Falling in love is like coming home. Your worries are quieted and you feel protected in your partner’s arms. And when you’re deep in love, it’s hard not to picture the rest of your life with that other person.
But how do we know for certain that it’s real forever and not just a fantasy?
Here are the ten signs you’ve found the woman you want to spend the rest of your life with:
1. You don’t need to pretend
Good days and bad days, you can totally be yourself — whatever mood you’re in — and she always thinks you shine. She understands who you are and doesn’t expect you to be anyone but yourself. There’s no pretending. You can lounge in stained sweatpants and not formulate sentences; she gets it because she’s right there with you.
2. At the end of a really bad day, all you want is to be with her
No matter what kind of crummy mood you’re in, you’d rather be with her than be alone. She will always patiently listen to you, while you speak your mind and she won’t invalidate your concerns with her honest feedback. Her confidence and passion positively influence your own, which makes your relationship all the more exciting. You want to be near her, always.
3. The attraction is more than just physical
Physically, emotionally and mentally, you two are compatible on all those levels. The chemistry between you both is powerful enough to block everything else out. Even doing the littlest things together, such as running to the grocery store, feel more special because she’s around. You can’t keep your hands off each other and you certainly aren’t holding back.
4. You want to share every experience with her
When you envision your future, she has a major role in it (and vice versa). The idea of spending the rest of your life with her doesn’t scare you. Being by her side is where you feel most comfortable.
5. She not only listens to you, but she also hears what you’re saying
She can read between the lines and anticipate your needs without you having to communicate them all the time. She knows what you are trying to say without having to always explain yourself. You help each other grow and become the people you want to be.
6. You have the same idea of romance
Whatever your definition of romance is — intimate dinners, long road trips, cuddling in bed — she shares in it and will go the extra step to make that happen.
7. You love more than you fight
It never feels good to fight because you care too much about her to hurt her. The compromise always seems like the best option because you both can be happy. But at the end of the day, you really can’t stay mad at each other for long.
8. Your happiness is her happiness, and vice versa
You know she’s the one because she’s good to you in ways that you’ve never thought possible. She wants what’s best for you, even if it comes at a cost to her.
9. She accepts you as you are
You’re messier, louder and maybe less funny, but she loves you for it. She makes you feel good about all those things you might dislike about yourself.
She knows everything about you — good and bad — and appreciates both because it’s all part of who you are.
10. She lets the world know you’re her true love
She brags about you to her friends because she’s so proud to call you her own. You would brag more, except everyone already knows how enamoured you are.
You are hers, she is yours and suddenly it all feels comfortingly simple.
Nothing says romance, like a piece of crap you don’t need! So…. here are some tips on what to avoid getting your girl.
1. Edible pants
Nothing says romance like a ‘gift’ that’s both hugely impractical and extremely uncomfortable.
2. A diet book
Books can be great presents. But a diet book…. Hmmmm? This is SURELY an insult maker. Did you mean to tell your GF she needs to lose weight?
3. The L Word box set
You’ll spend more hours watching this, resenting them and bitching about life, than actually enjoying your relationship.
4. A virtual gift
It doesn’t matter what you choose from their large virtual selection of flowers, cuddly kittens, or dancing gnomes – you will look like the cheapest tool alive.
5. A morphsuit
Wooo hoo, how to make your GF feel totally sexy – have her squeeze herself into lyrical suit that shows off all her bulges. Awesome.
6. A musical vibrator
Hell no. Seriously are we looking for romance or comedy fall out.
7. Fireplace DVD
If you were considering a real portable fireplace, well, that’s pretty romantic. But you must be a close relative of the baboon family if you think you are going to get any brownie points with this gift. Seriously, she will be under-whelmed by this moronic attempt at romance.
8. Themed Underwear
Every woman wants her woman to look and feel sexy, but we know how this one goes… “Hey, it’s Christmas time, so let’s pick something up from the store that combines holiday spirit and let’s-get-it-on.” Wrong! Santa-themed lingerie never makes anything sexy.
9. Jewellery in box
Every year you watch the commercial where the guy is sitting by the fire and unveils this little velvet box containing a glittering necklace or pair of earrings and the girl looks at him adoringly, and you think, “I really wanna be that guy.” Then, you look at your wallet, and go get something made out of cubic zirconia and hope for the best. Wrong move.
10. A Real Kitten or Puppy
I know you think that kittens and puppies look really cute and cuddly, but they are actually more work then you think. And what happens if she starts resenting you for giving her all this extra responsibility that she never asked for, or worse, she starts letting it sleep in the bed and she fusses over it more than you.
11. Any type of gift card
Basically what you are saying is that Valentine’s Day is not going to be any better than any other day spent with you. If this is the best that you can do you are lucky to even have a girlfriend.
12. Household appliances
As soon as you enter the word appliance into the mix you have a recipe for disaster. Basically, you’ve just given her housework in a box.
13. Tattoo her name on your body
Not wishing you a break-up anytime soon, but the truth is not all relationships last. Tattoos on the other hand are permanent. And I’m not talking permanent marker that eventually comes off, I’m talking about ink injected into your skin kind of permanent.
14. A set of fancy scales
Again, unless you’ve got a fitness nut for a sweetie, you are essentially calling a woman fat when you give her scales to weigh her body. Do this and expect to be sleeping on the couch.
15. Nothing
When you’re at that awkward point in a relationship where you’re not sure if you should get her a gift, or not? Even if you did have the talk and agreed on not getting gifts, you’d be stupid to believe your girl doesn’t actually want a gift. Suck it up and break the bank, because the potential downside of not getting a gift could be disastrous.
New York Magazine recently reported that Americans are now more OK with casual sex than they were in the 90s.
According to the data from the nationally representative General Social Survey of 33,380 Americans over 18, 37% have had casual sex in the past year, compared to 32% in the 90s.
In addition, Americans have had more sexual partners over the course of their adult lifetime now than they did in the 90s.
There are a lot of reasons these more relaxed attitudes exist.
The media are more open about same-sex relationships.
There has never been more sex in mass media than there is now — and that’s a good thing because we are no longer viewing sex as a something shameful, secretive or taboo.
Sex has always been a normal part of everyday life, but now that normality is reflected in the media, too.
Even more so, being confronted with these images of sex and sexuality in the media forces us to have conversations about them.
Feminism gives women more choices, especially when it comes to sex.
For women, the most important component about modern-day feminism is choice.
Thanks to feminism, we can choose our careers, our motherhood status and our skirt length. Most importantly, we can choose how much sex we want to (or don’t want to) have.
No longer are women expected to remain virgins until marriage. No longer does the number of people they’ve slept with define them.
The Madonna-whore complex has been rendered bullsh*t, and the reclaiming of the words “slut” and “whore” has given women freedoms they’d never before experienced.
Today, when it comes to sex, anything goes.
The Western World is less religious.
Religion might be great for a lot of things, but sex-positivity is not one of them.
According to data from the Pew Research Center, 20% of Americans are not religious.
With religion comes a perspective on sex that’s generally of the more conservative variety.
The fact that Americans are less religious means they aren’t adhering to beliefs that cast sexuality in a shameful light.
When you don’t affiliate yourself with a religion, you’re free to make your own decisions about your sex life without any reservations or guilt.
The boom of the Internet makes sex-related information more accessible.
With the rise of the Internet in the past decade, it’s never been easier to search for anything sex related, including how-tos, advice and, yes, visual stimulation. And by visual stimulation, I mean porn.
Statistics over the years have exaggerated exactly how much porn is on the Internet, but that doesn’t discredit porn’s effect.
Out of the top one million most popular websites on the Internet, about 4% are sex related.
Information about sex on the Internet may not always be reliable, but this doesn’t stop people from seeking it out anyway.
Tinder, GayDar Girls, Her – if you think of a word and awkwardly tweak the spelling, there’s probably a casual sex app with that name.
Thanks to these dating apps, we now treat sexual prospects like we treat weekly food shop.
Much like you’d browse through veg at supermarket, you can browse through prospects in your bedroom, on the train, at the club, on the toilet — literally anywhere.
Seeking out sex has never been easier or more convenient, which further normalises it.
Instead of the “walk of shame,” it’s called the “stride of pride.”
A one-night stand is officially no longer a “walk of shame.” Now, it’s a “stride of pride,” which gives casual sex a whole new positive meaning.
We no longer live in a world in which you should feel guilty for engaging in sex with another women. You get it. Just let your freak flag fly.
Have you ever wondered what other couples argue about?
The shame sh*t you argue about…
Anyone who is in a relationship is going to argue with their partner and it doesn’t matter if you just started seeing each other or are a couple who has been going strong for five years.
1. The sides of the bed/ultimate sleeping position.
We should all really dedicate an entire date in the initial stages of casual dating to cuddling. You think you love someone, and then you find out that they take the entire blanket and smother you as you sleep. What do you do with two big spoons?
2. The “I gave it to you to borrow, not to keep” debate.
You’re so sweet on each other that you’re sharing each other’s clothes and personal space, breathing in one another’s musk, rocking hair ties, pants, hoodies – the whole lesbian wardrobe bliss. Until one day when she asks for her hoodie back…um, that is a staple in my wardrobe now? You gave it to me!
3. The music in the car.
During the honeymoon period of your relationship, both of you got equal play with the iPod. Then you realized you were dating a ‘skipper’ who switches songs 30 seconds in. After a while, the battle of who picks becomes so real that you have to turn on the radio just to have something ‘neutral.’
4. The bad backseat girlfriend – You all know how it goes.
“Let me know when to turn” “Sure” *20 minutes pass* “I think we missed the turn?” “YOU WERE IN CHARGE OF THE NAVIGATION” “…YOU’RE DRIVING!”
5. The “no, it’s YOUR turn” argument.
Usually relating to cooking dinner, washing the dishes, taking the bins out or some other undesirable chore. “But I washed the dishes two days in a ROW last week!”
6. The “but I’m so comfortable!” argument.
Many a screaming match are born out of being so cozy in your blanket while your significant other uses the bathroom that, upon seeing them amble over on their return trip, you demand that they get you the remote, or the bag of chips, or some thing that you need so badly to survive but cannot be bothered to get up for because you “Are. So. COMFORTABLE.”
7. The ‘Shane’ argument.
I call this the ‘Shane’ argument because my ex and I literally broke up over an argument sparked by my support of The L Word’s Shane sleeping with Cherie Jaffe. Everyone has a person, a band, a show, whatever… that they know is kind of insufferable and lacks a defence for a lot of its awfulness, but you fight for them anyway.
8. The cuddle/tickle fight gone wrong.
It all starts with a playful touch. It ends in a kind of crying-laughing torture that can only be stopped with verbal death threats.
9. The thermostat cold war.
You get cold in the middle of the night and close a window. They wake up sweating and open it up. They leave for work. You put the heat on to compensate. They come home, livid that it is June and the heat is on. They open all the windows. The world explodes.
10. The great Netflix debate.
“Do you want to watch Grey Anatomy?” “No, I want to watch Orphan Black” “What about House of Cards?” “I kind of wanted to watch Orphan…” “We could always do Orange is the New Black?” “I WANT TO WATCH ORPHAN BLACK.”
When we think of women flirting, we often see the toss of the hair, the bat of the lashes, the intense gazing, and the seductive finger trail down the cheek…
But for me, this behaviour is utterly bewildering and foreign. I was born with an innate inability to be flirtatious. No, I’m serious. I feel like (and look like) a pathetic, lost puppy when I make even the faintest attempt at being flirty.
So to all my flirt-averse sisters out there, I present 7 struggles all lesbians who hate flirting know to well:
1. You address and treat every woman like your homeboy – no matter how attractive she is or how totally into her you are.
2. You have one signature flirt move, which most women don’t pick up on. Mine is a 5 second gaze, then avert
3. The awkward hand hover, which means your hand never comes to a complete rest on a women’s body when you communicate. You’ll never touch her shoulder, rest it on her knee, or give her a real embrace.
4. When a cute woman flirts with you, it’s a fate worse than death. As soon as she gives you that half smile and intense eye contact, you are like a rabbit caught in headlight. Your heart starts pumping in your ears. Your mouth refuses to smile back. And all you want to do is run.
5. You start speaking in riddles. If you actually do make it to the point of a “flirty” conversation, you’ll blurt out the most random of statements, like by answering her question about your plans next weekend with something like, “So, do you prefer Bing or Google?”
6. You over analysis everything, because even if you do flirt, you don’t do it right. If you do (by some miraculous aligning of the heavens, make a semi-successful flirty gesture or comment to an attractive woman) you’ll later agonise over how lame you actually sounded.
7. You feel awkward around women who are hyper-flirty. Did she just bat her lashes and laugh at that unfunny joke? How does she do that? And now look; she’s with the woman I like.
99 problems, getting pregnant ain’t one! But being lesbian can sometimes sucks – from understanding women, to texting, threesomes, complex friendship dynamic, The L Word and more.
Every lesbian goes through these problems. So watch and relate…
Head held in shame, because most of these mistakes apply to me. Ok – ALL apply to me.
Yes, I’ve continued to live with my girlfriend after we broke. Yes, sex toys have caught me out. Yes, I’ve dated my ex girlfriends best friend. And yes I over analysis everything. Need I go on?!
Here’s a fun fact – according to clinical psychologist Dr Martha Stout, 1 in 25 people are sociopaths. Which means there is a possibility that you may be dating one, or there is a chance you’ve come in contact with one in the past.
Note, not every sociopath is psycho criminal, but they are definitely no fun to have around. Our advice? Take a look at this list of signs that your significant other is a sociopath.
1. They tend to lie, quite a bit.
Pathological liars, is what they are. When they get caught in one of their many lies, they will blame someone else, change the subject, become very angry, or point out your flaws. Just know, they’ll never admit to their lies.
2. Lack of connection to their past.
This will not be noticeable from the beginning, but after some time you will realise “hey, I don’t know anyone from their past. Hmmmmm.”
3. They are super charming.
When you meet them, their words and attentive stare will instantly attract you. However, it is only superficial.
4. They’re oozing with sexual charisma.
Sociopaths have more testosterone than others. They attract you to them like a magnet, and they are also much better in bed.
5. They have an oversized ego.
When you meet them, they will probably inform you of their accomplishments, winning attributes, and any other reason they are so very amazing.
6. There is never any remorse or guilt.
They don’t care. They hurt you? Oh well, not their problem.
7. They come on very strongly.
They are slightly overbearing and need you to be aware of their intense desire to be around you.
8. They lack maturity.
They’re very immature and childish.
9. They socially isolate you.
They want you all to themselves, and try to cut you off from the rest of the world. This will make it a lot harder for you to leave.
10. They always have a lot in common with you.
They seem to be your soul mate immediately. They somehow have everything in common with you.
11. They always blame others.
They never take responsibility for their actions. It is always somebody else’s fault.
12. They’re kind of obsessed with you.
They are slightly overbearing and need you all to themselves.
13. Oh, the dramatics.
They are usually the life of the party because of their dramatic displays. Every story is a theatrical monologue.
14. They always play the victim.
Even when they tell you stuff about their past, all of their stories are skewed to make you think “awwww, poor kid.”
15. They like to move a little too fast.
Sociopaths like to move a little quickly. They trust you from the beginning and try to start a relationship immediately.
When it comes to long term relationships it’s easy to turn on the auto pilot switch and neglect each other.
You have your life with your friends and family and she has her life. You are living in the same house leading parallel lives with very little interaction.
Both of you have the need for intimacy and connection, and neither knows how to bridge the gap to find the spark you once had. So what do you do?
Cara Delevingne and St Vincent – real name Annie Clark – are believed to have been dating since last December and things are clearly going well.
This week, the duo were spotted partying up a storm in Cannes, where Cara mixed business with pleasure by bringing the Annie along to the lavish Chanel dinner at Tetou restaurant in Antibes.
However after the event, the two made their way to Gotham nightclub in Cannes, but there was some awkwardness as Cara’s ex Michelle Rodriguez also showed up.
Crunch moment. What to do?! But it got us thinking, how do you handle running into you ex?
1. Smile, a LOT. Remember, a smile is a curve that sets everything straight.
2. Quickly run inside the closest washroom to see if your hair is looking stellar! Make sure you’re looking ‘ultra hot’.
3. Try not to talk to her about her recent holiday. You already know the gossip; having seen it plastered all Facebook and Instagram.
4. If you’re still single, then just totally avoid talking about relationships; focus on other things like your awesome job where you just got a big promotion, or that fantastic exotic vacation you recently took. Make sure she knows that being single can be lots of fun too!
5. You could also pretend to be dating someone way hotter (*jealousy* works wonders)
6. If it was a bad-breakup then maybe being nasty is also not a bad idea. Reserve that smirk for this moment.
7. Most importantly, stay calm! Take a deep breath and talk with a lot of confidence!
8. And be ready with an exit plan. And yes, you should be the first one to evacuate the scene. Pretend a fake call maybe!
9. One fool proof option to avoid any type of awkwardness: Just…run away!
10. Or you could act a little mature about it. Catch up briefly and just go your own way!
So we live in the world Hook-Ups – where you meet a person and suggest go grabbing a coffee or a drink, instead of asking some out on a date. You must have heard the line “I’ll meet you at the bar,” which sounds so lame – well unless you’re Shane from The L word that is.
Now I’m not a fussy dater. I’m not always expecting a multi-course meal at a five-star restaurant, but for a first date, I am hoping for a place that offers something a bit more than muffins, free WiFi and my favourite brew.
Here are my top five reasons why we should get rid of the Hook-Up dates once and for all:
1. It makes me feel like you don’t think I’m worth a real date
Asking someone out for drink is just an easy way to ask someone out without really asking someone out. For the people doing the asking, there is virtually nothing to lose.
If they get rejected, they can simply use the cop-out that it was never actually a date.
If they manage to lock down the date, it’s a very straightforward thing to plan. If it goes badly, they can know, rest assured, no effort or resources were wasted.
2. It results in a lot of confusion as to what this “meet-up” is
“Let’s grab a coffee on Monday” via text message is easily the most nonchalant way to ask someone out. It’s to the point I’m not even sure if this is a real date.
Did you just friend-zone me? Are we just catching up? At least with dinner or some other date-like activity, both parties are (usually) fully aware of what the outing entails.
3. It’s a little too casual
I’m all for casual dates, but the local lesbian bar is too casual for me. It’s nosy, we’re near to your ex, my friends just walked in, and now I’m not exactly motivated to strike up engaging conversation.
If we’re on this date, it means I’m at least slightly interested in you. I want to look good for our date, and I don’t want to stick out like a sore thumb next to a plethora of people in sweats.
The environments of Starbucks and other quirky coffee shops are made to be casual. They are supposed to encourage studying and “hanging out,” rather than nervous and excited conversations by first daters trying to look desirable.
4. It has an inevitable short time frame
There are very few people in this world who can drink one single drink for more than 20-30 minutes, so you have to order a second to prolong a date – which means you face the risk of appearing to be a lush.
I suppose having a guaranteed out within 20-30 minutes is a pro if the date goes badly, but if I’m going on a date in the first place, I’m hoping it’ll turn out well.
Also, we are so fast-paced in every other aspect of our lives, we don’t need or want our dating lives to be as such. I want to take my time, and I want you to take yours. If you try to tell me you don’t have the time for more than a simple coffee drink, you certainly don’t have the time to take this relationship to the next level.
The drink date is limiting – the longer you go, the drunker you get. And the drunker I get the more I forget. So I forget all the the good stuff – the life stories, the experiences and the passions.
5. Drunk kiss or no kiss
A (sober) first kiss is awkward enough without it being along a line of people waiting at the bus top outside the coffee shop in pure daylight. Unless your drunk, and by now all you rules i.e. ‘you’re not the “type” to kiss on a first date’, gets blown out of the water.
The majority of our generation favours casual hangouts and hookups rather than actual dating, but the coffee date blurs the line between what is “real” and what is casual.
I, like many girls I know, am done wasting time trying to figure out whether our coffee meet-up or “study sesh” was considered a date or not.
Hooking up is fine, but if you’re into someone, do her a favor and take her on a real date. This way, there will be no overanalyzing what your intention is.
We have all felt unworthy of love. Our insecurity make us see problems where they don’t exist, turning what can been successful relationships into a short-lived, dismal failure.
Find out how to get over relationship insecurities and have a better relationship.
1. Stop thinking it is all about you
A self centred world view will have you chasing boogeymen where they don’t exist. Stop psycho-analyzing every word choice people make and be more present in the moment, so you can notice the message behind their tone, physical presence, and posture. Obsessing with hidden meanings is a sure-fire way to miss the point. Having that overwhelming urge to fill every second of silence with needless words is a habit of an insecure person.
2. Stop psyching yourself out
Your thoughts can be your relationship’s best friend or worst enemy. Have you ever found thinking negative thoughts like, I know they’ll get sick of me someday? or, How could they love me?
These thoughts have little to do with reality, but a lot to do with fear. In other words, the problem you are concerned with doesn’t exist — you invented it! Any time you find yourself feeling insecure about your relationship, tell yourself, “The thing I’m worried about only exists in my head. I have full control.”
3. Stop lugging around all that baggage
Ever been in a relationship so terrible that you would love to just wish it all away so you never have to think about it again? Join the club. You’ll be hard-pressed to find a person who doesn’t have a bit of baggage because this love thing is an unpredictable (and sometimes rocky) ride. A little baggage is totally okay, but you need to lighten your load before jumping into any new relationship. Let go of any left-over hurtful feelings that might be lingering and realize that your new relationship is a new opportunity to put all of that behind you. The lovely thing about life: you can re-start as many times as you need to!
4. Stop seeing things in black and white
How do you react when someone blames you for something that you don’t think is your fault? Survey says: you get defensive. Likewise, confronting your partner over a problem—no matter how obvious it may be to you—will most likely cause them to become defensive. This usually leads to a knock-down, drag-out fight that is the opposite of productive because you’re both too busy trying to prove you’re right to resolve your conflict. If you have a problem, don’t immediately point the finger, but instead approach your partner with compassion and understanding. Be comfortable in the fact that neither of you is fully “right” or “wrong.” The true answer lies somewhere in the middle.
5. Stop feeling paranoid over nothing
Let’s face it: we all talk to people of the opposite sex. Just because a boy and girl (or boy and boy, or girl and girl) are friends doesn’t mean there is more to the story. Avoid the temptation to snoop your partner’s phone, Facebook messages, or email account. While this could temporarily calm your nerves when you see nothing afoul, it is also a behavior that could quickly become addictive, not to mention damaging for relationship trust when they find out Big Brother is watching.
6. Stop putting off uncomfortable conversations
While conflict is stressful for your relationship in the short-term, it will build the strength of your relationship in the long-term. Facing your problems without fear will help you grow closer to your partner. Never mince words with each other and you will develop trust so strong that you can tell your partner anything that is on your mind.
7. Stop being dependent on anyone but yourself
Having someone to hug, kiss, cuddle, make love to, and share your life with is nothing short of wonderful. But before you march off into the sunset in search of love, you need to learn to love yourself. Just like you shouldn’t invite a friend to your home while it’s a disorganized wreck, you shouldn’t invite a partner into your life while it is in disarray. Take care if your inner-house before you invite anyone else to it.
There are different types of women in the world. Some are simple and some are very complex, but finding your ideal woman — your ideal partner in life can be tricky.
Everyone has a type. Some like them taller, others shorter. Some like simple women, others like accomplished and driven women. As far as types go, people get very creative — and often even weird. But our type is our type, and we want what we want.
So, lets try to figure it out – what kind of woman is right for you?
We can all use some fresh ideas to spice up our love lives. So, here are 5 approaches I found useful
Surprise a lover with a new experience
New experiences energise us. Sharing them increases intimacy, making hot sex more likely. So rent an erotic film, plan a trip somewhere romantic, or organise a couples massage.
Use role-play to engage your imagination.
People find it invigorating to become someone else for a moment, to act in ways they normally wouldn’t. It can be exciting to do things that you may have only dreamed about. Role-playing can give you the freedom and the permission to act out in ways that are out of character.
Plan a trip to a sex-related entertainment destination
Visit a burlesque club, see a stripe club show, or visit a fetish club. Go with an open mind and make sure you stay long enough to make that initial uncomfortable anxiety disappear.
Read an erotic story
Find a new book that is written about sexual experiences you have not yet experienced. When you have done so, write out a fantasy or two of your own.
Spending time examining the experiences of others can give us saucy new ideas. Some of the things we read will bore us, others might make us cringe, but usually there will be something that captures the imagination and gets our own creative juices flowing.
Note: When writing, remember that you are doing this for yourself, so don’t spend too much time obsessing about how well you are writing, how good your grammar is or if your spelling is diabolical. You can worry about all of this if you decide you are going to share what you write with others.
Visit a sexy lingerie shop or a sex shop
Push yourself out of your comfort zone and actually ask the sales staff about the toys you have never even considered looking at in the past. Looking online is not the same, as you cannot interact with others directly and actually see and touch the toys (and learn how to use them). If you are too embarrassed to go on your own, consider going with your lover or a really close friend.
Finally, enjoy yourself
Take the time to make the most of all aspects of your life. You deserve to have an electrifying sex life, and you can create one with some courage, imagination and persistence.
Single You told yourself you wouldn’t become one of ‘those girlfriends’ who neglects all other responsibilities, dumps their relationship issues on others, drops out of parties, and neglects their personal goals for a relationship.
But here comes Relationship You, and you’re in love, and sometimes its really worth putting these things on hold – right?!
So regardless if you’ve been in a relationship for two weeks or three years, here are all the things Single You said Relationship You would never do.
1. Shacking up and playing “house” all weekend
You used to hate that one friend who couldn’t come across town to hang because she was having too much fun cooking and cuddling with her girlfriend.
Now you ARE her, and you get it. And what can you say? The option to not leave your couch sounds better.
2. Bringing girlfriend drama out with you
No one wants to hear about the latest soap opera that is your relationship, let alone make you feel better about having a girlfriend when their single. Relationship You should know her audience better.
3. Giving up plans with your friends to attend your girlfriends aunt’s birthday
While you could have been eating and gossiping with your mates, you are instead doing it with OAPs – long gone are the frills and spoils of a carefree single life, doing as and what you please.
4. Referring to your partner in every story
It’s like you don’t live separate lives anymore. This used to scare Single You and made you say harsh things like, “She’s not her own person.”
But now, it makes you feel good to have each other’s backs and say things like, “I get to hang out with my best friend.”
5. Referring to yourselves as a “WE”
This one always made Single You especially bitter – women who are part of a couple and thus, need to refer to her other half as a “WE.”
And yet, here you are, answering people’s questions about your weekend plans almost instinctively as “Us.”
6. Staying in because your girlfriend isn’t going out
Nooooo – your internally pouting. This one takes guts to admit, so at least you’re not totally betraying your moral high ground.
Single You knew how to spot one when she saw the “I’m not feeling well” excuses coming on.
You’re not trying to get all dolled up for no one’s attention. There, you said it. You can go back to rubbing your boy toy’s back now.
7. Posting to many “wefies”
Vacation pics are already upsetting to everyone who isn’t there.
Why make it worse by showcasing lovey-dovey, vomit-inducing pictures of you and your boy making out? Single You would have called you out two Snapchat stories ago.
As cliché as it sounds, being yourself is probably the best way to ensure you not only have a good time on a first date, but also get a second date, too. That said, there are a few dos and don’ts to keep in mind when hanging out with someone totally new— remember, it’s all about making a solid first impression…
If Women Were Themselves On A First Date
What Lesbians Do After A First Date
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VZgzWbEdAQo
On a side note you should also follow Arielle Scarcella on YouTube she puts up lots of great content that lesbians can relate to as well as has many videos that help others understand what being a lesbian is like. She also believes in being body positive and is a huge activist in the LGBT community.
Sex is fun. Well, it should be. And we all know we get a little carried away in the heat of a steamy moment… but some things are better left unsaid.
There are questions women don’t want to be asked while naked and some personal disclosures that shouldn’t be made in bed.
There are a bunch of super unsexy sex things, or random things, you can say during sex, which will make the sex you’re having feel weird. And just, ugh, weird!
Yes, sex talk is a complicated art – but it is not too complicated. Less is more, specifically when you’re tempted to say something wrong.
So here you have some of the worst things you can say during sex. Memorise them. Remember them. Avoid them. And happy humping.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MV1JunEfrcg
Share with us some of your favourite things NOT to say during sex.
Are you on the quest to find true love? It is often said that one must kiss a few frogs before meeting a princess.
Well, it would appear this theory is true.
Dr Hannah Fry, a mathematician at University College London, has come up with a formula to find a perfect partner.
She has developed a practical theory for love, which involves ruling out anyone you meet in the first 37 per cent of your dating life.
So, if someone began dating at the age of 16, and hoped to stop at 40 at the latest, then you’ll find true love around the age of 25 – ta-da!
It is suggested that people “get a feel for the marketplace” when they are young before settling down with the “next person that comes along who is better than everyone they have met before”.
Dr Fry has publishing a 116-page book entitled The Mathematics of Love.
Some of her statistically proven tips include always being prepared to approach a would-be mate, finding a similar-looking but slightly less attractive “wingman”, and never cropping one’s faults out of a photograph on an online dating profile.
Speaking at the Oxford Literary Festival, Dr Fry said that looks were not proven to make a difference in finding love.
Ultimately, no one cares if you look like Brad Pitt or Angelina Jolie. All they care about is how you look compared to everybody else.”
Thus, she suggested finding a similar looking, slightly less attractive friend was the best strategy.
Queer women can be a confusing and complex lot. No, we’re not trying to perpetuate a stereotype or make a mockery, it’s just sometimes true.
Human beings in general are complex creatures, and the sooner we accept this, the sooner we can learn to laugh at ourselves and move on.
We often hide behind sarcastic phrases and straight up lies in hopes of improving our reverse psychology skills, tricking people into believing what we want them to believe.
We say we’re fine when we are not, and we tell people we want to be friends, when really we want to be lovers. We have all been guilty of hiding behind claims and false expressions, hoping whomever we’re talking to can read our minds, or at least be tricked by our statements.
You’re not dating yet, but you are doing what you might call ‘pre-dating’, which is as much a part of courtship these days as exchanging phone numbers.
So what is ‘pre-dating’? well methodology varies – some favor LinkedIn; others Twitter or blogs – but according to a new Match.com survey a good 48 percent of women research a someone on Facebook before the first date. Clicking through someone’s public photos is kind of like passing them in the hall at high school. You see her and get a sense of her life without actually having to put yourself out there.
But is the time you spend with someone’s online persona messing with what might develop in real life relationship? Do you ever become a little too obsessed? Its time to find out…
This is probably one of the biggest questions I come up against as a Coach; How do I get the spark back with my partner?
Type the question into Google and you’ll get 14,100,000 results in less than 30 seconds. It’s crazy!
Many people identify that ‘the spark’ goes when they’re missing the following things in their relationship:
Sex
Physical attention such as hugs/kisses/cuddles/holding hands
Date nights
Effort stops and things are perceived to be too ‘routine’
Conversations become repetitive
Any of those sound familiar?
Don’t feel bad if they do – it’s completely normal. Relationships go through peaks and troughs, highs and lows and it’s all part of the relationship cycles. When you first started dating someone ‘the spark’ was always there and it wasn’t even a conscious choice or decision you had to make, you could just ‘feel’ it. Right? RIGHT!
That’s why many individuals get SO concerned when they no longer ‘feel’ ‘the spark’, they begin questioning the relationship, their feelings, their partners feelings and so much more. They equate what they’ve associated ‘the spark’ to be as love and whilst intense connections and amazing sex do leave us with feel good tingly parts – they’re all things that are happening to us without us consciously choosing them to occur. They’re all byproducts of lust.
Relationships change so dramatically through their duration because as the days/months/years go by you become familiar with your partner. You learn everything you need to know about them. They see you at your best/worst/in-between and you see them at theirs.
One day you’ll love everything about them and the next they’ll drive you bonkers. One minute you’ll want to rip their clothes off and have a sexathon and the next you’ll want to sit down by yourself and watch a movie.
ALONE.
IT’S HOW RELATIONSHIPS WORK!
‘The spark’ was something that just came without effort in the early days, whereas now it’s something that requires a little more effort and imagination and what’s important for all couples (and those wanting to venture into a long term relationship) to know is this…
IT’S COMPLETELY NORMAL (cue the sigh of relief)
So, how about we focus on RE-CREATING AND UNDERSTANDING ‘THE SPARK’ as you want it to be now! Sound good? For sure it does! This gives you so many options and puts everything in your control (as opposed to when you originally started dating your partner and all those lusty feelings were just happening to you!).
My tips on re-creating and understanding ‘the spark’
1. Work out what produces a feeling of ‘the spark’ for you.
This might be sex, going out for a fun night, great dinner/conversation etc. Work out what it is. Once you know what it is talk to your partner about it and make them aware. Find out theirs too. Once you know this you’ll be able to focus each other’s attention on it and have some great times!
2. Stop putting so much pressure on yourself and your partner
This isn’t a Holly Wood movie. This isn’t 50 Shades Of Grey. This isn’t a romance novel. This is your relationship, stop expecting to ALWAYS feel a certain way and allow yourselves to be however you are. Keep the communication channels open and encourage honesty always. Once you remove the pressure and expectation on how you think you’re ‘supposed’ to feel you’ll start to allow yourself to feel however you want!
3. Have YOU TIME
Some couples see each other all the time and spend TOO much time together. This often results in things becoming boring and routine. Why not take up a class by yourself and encourage your partner to do the same? Maybe there’s a movie you want to go see with your friends on the weekend and they want to go watch a sport? You do your thing and let them do theirs. Independence in ANY relationship is REQUIRED. It encourages new conversations and experiences to about together and establishes new intimacy between the two of you.Don’t allow yourselves to be boring together. Complacency in relationships exists because both partners allow it. True story.
4. Encourage spontaneity
Remember when you first got together and you were up to trying everything, or maybe your partner was and now not so much. Get that person back! Go on some random adventures together, take a cooking class together, go on a hike together – just DO SOMETHING OUT OF THE ORDINARY! Get out of your comfort zones and experience something new as a couple. You’ll thank yourselves for doing it (and me by default for suggesting it!)
5. Communicate what you want, especially when it comes to sex
Unbeknownst to many but it is actual fact that orgasms don’t fall out of the sky and for some people they take work. When it comes to having sex with your partner it’s important to keep the communication lines open and if you have to, ask for what you want (it really isn’t a bad thing!). Talking about sex openly and honestly can really work in your favour and assist in getting you and your partner dosed up on those feel good sparky endorphins!
It’s also extremely important to communicate what you want OUTSIDE of the bedroom, allowing honesty and transparency in a relationship encourages growth, stability and security. All of these things help in alleviating worry or insecurity in a relationship and therefor allow more positive emotions to flood the brain!
Remember, just because you don’t feel giddy about your partner 24/7 like you did when you first got together doesn’t necessarily ring alarm bells for you to jump ship. It just means your relationship is changing, growing and evolving (like it’s supposed to).
Disclaimer: In the interest of anyone who may be interested I have managed successful relationships without the use of dating websites.
Scissr
So! The app to beat all other lesbian dating apps arrived. Welcome ‘Scissr’. It has promised to be the lesbian version of ‘Grindr’. So far, I’m in two minds…
Yes, the app itself is smart, easy to use, and it’s great to be able to see more accurate distances between you and other users, and online times.
It also requires you to connect through Facebook, filtering out many fakes who can’t be bothered to create alternative Facebook profiles I’m sure.
However, the closest person to me currently sits at 2.5 miles. Ok, it’s only just getting going, but it takes only 12 people down the list and we jump to 32.8 miles. And I live in Birmingham. It’s a pretty big place.
So possibly it hasn’t been advertised enough yet in order to attract more users. Or maybe it is more U.S based. I’m guessing, it has been out about three weeks now- I would have thought that’s quite a while in the dating app world? Correct me if I’m wrong.
First downside to this app; you have to actually go into your messages to see if you have any new ones; unlike other apps such as POF, which will give you a notification on screen.
Second downside is that you can’t see your sent messages. There isn’t that option.
On a plus side to that, if you can’t remember if you’ve sent someone a message (and I don’t send THAT many), when you hit the message button to contact them it will show what you have already sent. Maybe this is how Grindr works too.
I used Grindr once… Hold up… Myself and a good guy friend of mine had a competition to see who could get more messages within one hour. And yes. I won. I also felt so guilty at some of the guys messaging me that I had to reply and confess I was a woman on a dare mission.
If only that many messages came through per hour from women! One can dream.
‘Crushes’ and ‘Crushed on me’ – this is great, but, one user who has ‘crushed on me’ recently, I already sent a message to two days previous. Has she seen it? Possibly not if there aren’t notifications to let her know she has messages waiting in her inbox, and I’m not going to message twice. Or, she could have just hit the wrong button!
You also have coloured lines around people’s profiles on the main screen; green to show that they are online or very recently online, yellow to show they have been online in the past 24 hours, and red to show 1 day or over.
Unfortunately, all I am seeing right now is a lot of red…
Current rating: 5/10.
I hope it can and will improve with a bit more time. I’m confident it will be better than some others…
Brenda
Terrible lesbian dating app. Terrible. And not just because it doesn’t rate highly for successful interaction.
I must have used this a very long time ago then deleted it (because it was shit). I then downloaded the app to my phone once again a few months ago however received a message on screen to say I had been blocked from using this app.
Well, I am definitely over 18, and I definitely do not send or post sexual or abusive content. When I sent an email to ask why my profile had been blocked, I received no reply. Soooo… I guess I’m still blocked.
Rating: 2/10.
Badoo
Badoo (And I just knew I shouldn’t have bothered). Another awful dating site, not just for the simple fact you can’t see who ‘likes’ you and the whole app requires a level of concentration you simply cannot be bothered with; But for the fact they clearly don’t understand the entire population aren’t a straight Ken & Barbie:
I received a message from Badoo to say my photos didn’t match my gender therefore my account had been stopped, or something to that effect. Excuse me? What? If you could have possibly insulted me more, I probably could have sued you under something I’m sure.
So I sent a very unpleasant email expressing my anger and to who the fuckwits were deciding on MY gender. To which I did receive a ‘sincere’ apology.
However, was a bit late for an apology, no matter how sincere, and I swiftly deleted my profile and the app. Unless I’ve been walking round with my eyes closed for near 32 years, I am fully confident of my own gender. Take note. Thank you.
Rating: 0/10. Yes. Just for that.
Gaydargirls
Gaydargirls. This followed on from gay.com for me. If anyone remembers gay.com, it was way back when we still used dial-up connection; when it was guaranteed you’d start talking to a really cool girl in a chat room and you’d get disconnected.
I left Gaydargirls back in 2005, and only rejoined in 2014. I don’t use it on my phone, I only log in when using my laptop and I don’t think I have bothered logging in for about 3 months now.
Unfortunately for Gaydargirls, it doesn’t seem to have moved on so much from years ago, and I think what used to maybe be quite a popular and modern site, possibly the number of active users has decreased somewhat. And it looks exactly the same. It needs a revamp.
Rating back when: 7/10. Rating now…. Probably a 2.
Tinder
Tinder is actually ok although it isn’t a “gay” dating app. I haven’t been registered on it I’d say any more than 4-5 months, and I’ve not met anyone off of it. However, I think Tinder has quite a good thing going on. It’s simple, it works on users profile photos that you swipe left for no and right for yes. You have to have both said yes in order to speak to each other.
I think it could be a lot better, but the idea itself is a good one. The downside to that though is I fear there are probably many people who will swipe yes to EVERYONE just to get more matches.
Not only that but there is no option for sexuality- it’s simply show only men, only women or both. So there’s a hint for Tinder on how it could instantly be better!
I’d say out of every 20 ‘matches’, I only engage in conversation with two. And unless I think someone really looks as though they might have something about them, I’m unlikely to make the first move.
Rating: 6/10
Plenty of Fish
I have to say my best score for a dating app would have to go to POF (Plenty of Fish). It’s always been easy to use and I have the most interaction and meets from there, and there seem to be a lot more genuine people using this app.
You can filter your search results by age, area and relationship intent. You have onscreen notifications to tell you when you’ve received a message. You can see who has viewed your profile and who you have viewed. You can see who is online. It also stores a substantial amount of past messages.
The only one thing I would complain about is that they have changed their “meet me” set up (which is kinda like a Tinder swiping system), so you have to upgrade the app (which means paying) to view who would like to meet you.
Saying that, it’s not a huge issue as when you receive an email to say “User123 wants to meet you!” you can still go to your search facility and type in the username of that person to view their profile. It’s just a bit more long winded than before.
Rating: 8/10
While dating sites used to be something we were embarrassed about admitting we used, they now seem to have become a normal part of the single person’s life. It would be interesting to hear other’s experiences with these sites and others.
We and our partners use technology such as cookies on our site to personalise content and ads, provide social media features, and analyse our traffic. Click below to consent to the use of this technology across the web. You can change your mind and change your consent choices at anytime by returning to this site. AcceptRead More
Privacy & Cookies Policy
Privacy Overview
This website uses cookies to improve your experience while you navigate through the website. Out of these, the cookies that are categorized as necessary are stored on your browser as they are essential for the working of basic functionalities of the website. We also use third-party cookies that help us analyze and understand how you use this website. These cookies will be stored in your browser only with your consent. You also have the option to opt-out of these cookies. But opting out of some of these cookies may affect your browsing experience.
Necessary cookies are absolutely essential for the website to function properly. This category only includes cookies that ensures basic functionalities and security features of the website. These cookies do not store any personal information.
Any cookies that may not be particularly necessary for the website to function and is used specifically to collect user personal data via analytics, ads, other embedded contents are termed as non-necessary cookies. It is mandatory to procure user consent prior to running these cookies on your website.
