Tag Archives: Gay Community

Has Misogyny in the Gay Community Become an Epidemic?

When we think about the unrealistic expectations set for women, we often overlook the actions of gay men. After all, they’re not sexually attracted to women, so that means they most likely aren’t going to judge us based on our attractiveness. Likewise, they’re used to being in a position of minority, so they’re less likely to hold us into our little box. Right?

Well, not necessarily. According to Séan Faye of Broadly, gay men might even be more sexist and misogynistic than their straight male counterparts – and it’s almost worse, because it’s not coming from a desire to claim the women involved, but rather, to be more powerful than them.

Think about it. When’s the last time you were inappropriately groped by a gay man, whether as a joke or out of curiosity? Many gay men forget the general rules of personal boundaries, and may grab a woman’s breast or bum without even asking first. It’s generally regarded as not sexual in nature, so it isn’t seen as a problem.

But that doesn’t make it okay.

In some ways, this may be a retaliation. Lesbians often subscribe to feminism, so it’s assumed that we would embody the “femi-nazi” stereotype of the man-haters. This would, naturally, upset the balance in the gay community – unless, of course, the gay men retaliated by being woman-haters, too. But it’s important to realize that not all women believe in female superiority – and in fact, most are just looking for equality.

But gay men aren’t the only ones guilty of this misogyny, either – I’ve seen in in my lesbian friends as well. We make sexist assumptions about each other all the time, and it’s really not fair. I’ve even caught myself doing it before – reposting pictures that fall outside of what I find attractive, with captions that would seriously hurt if the person in the picture were to read them.

Is it right? Definitely not.

Is it something we all need to work on? Yeah, I think so.

Is it something that’s going to happen any time soon? Well, probably not.

The truth is, any big movement is going to be hard to coordinate, and I don’t think the world is really ready to accept true gender equality. Maybe we never will be – being part of a patriarchal society for so long has most of us pretty set in our ways. Even those of us who consider ourselves feminists are subject to occasional bouts of woman-hating-ness, whether we outwardly vocalize them or not.

What can you do to fix it in your own local community?

If we’re being completely honest here, there’s not a lot that can be done to fix it on a wide scale – each person would have to change their own behavior, and in time the “old ways” of doing things will die out. Maybe I’m a pessimist, but I don’t see it happening in my lifetime.

On a smaller scale, though, we can actively work to suppress our anti-feminist thoughts, by stopping to think before we say things that could be taken a negative way. Sure, this won’t actually fix the problem, but it’ll help you to acknowledge the “bad” behavior and put an end to it.

Some feminists would prefer to think that you can dismantle the patriarchy simply by defying the traditional gender roles… But I don’t think that’s necessary, nor is it the only way to do things. If you truly like the things that are traditionally attributed to your gender, perhaps the most feminist thing you could do is to be unapologetically yourself – even if it goes along with what society expects of you. Isn’t it more important to be real than to be novel?

The only way we’re going to fix this is if we all stand up against the expectations – all expectations. Don’t expect anything from anyone based on things you aren’t sure of. Stereotypes aren’t always right, but even if they are, that doesn’t mean that the person is necessarily sacrificing themselves, their dignity, or their self-respect.

In short, the best way to beat misogyny is to stop caring what everyone else thinks about you- and stop assuming everyone cares what you think, too.

Sam Smith Talks Coming Out, And Being a Spokesperson for the Gay Community With Ellen DeGeneres

Sam Smith is a star on the rise. With a beautiful voice, the British singer has risen to the charts with tracks like ‘La La La’, ‘I’m Not the Only One’ and ‘Stay With Me’.

He’s also racked up a plethora of awards for his talent including MOBOs for Best Song, Best Album and Best Male Artist while at the American Music Awards he won for Favorite Male Artist – Pop/Rock. And on top of this, he’s also making a name for himself in Hollywood with friends such as Taylor Swift, Dianna Agron and Katy Perry.

But earlier this year the singer made headlines for an entirely different reason when after coming out as gay earlier this year (his album ‘In The Lonely Hour’ is about an ex-boyfriend) he said that he didn’t want to be a spokesperson for the gay community. However, in a recent appearance on The Ellen DeGeneres Show he clarified his comments.

sam-smith

“I’m a singer and a songwriter. I get upset sometimes because I don’t talk about it too much. People say, ‘he doesn’t want to be a spokesperson for the gay community.’ I do, of course I do. I want to be a spokesperson for everyone. Ya know, straight people, gay people, bisexual. I don’t want to be limited.”

Sam Smith

Understandably the singer doesn’t want to be pigeon-holed nor does he want to be put on a pedestal for his gayness – after all ‘spokesperson’ is a nice title to have but as Sam Smith is only 22 years old it seems like an unnecessary weight to place on his shoulders. And, as Ellen noted, for many people his coming out is enough as it shows people that he is gay and successful and could inspire others to feel better about their own sexuality.

During the interview he also added that he’s known he was gay from a young age and that coming out in the public eye felt “brave”:

“It didn’t feel like a coming out. I came out when I was like four years old, my mom said she knew when I was like three. So I didn’t have to actually properly come out.”

Sam Smith

Watch the clip from Sam’s interview below…

It’s called a Gayborhood, an article by Khoa Sinclair

Imagine living within walking distance of the hottest shops and restaurants. Chinese take out is available 24 hours a day, vintage Christian Dior is easy to locate (and thats hard), and there’s something new to do every night. Welp, you may just want to move to a gayborhood!

If you’re unfamiliar with this term let me help you out. A gayborhood is a neighbourhood with a large concentration of gay men and women in one area. San Francisco, New York, and Portland are just a few cities with such neighbourhoods. Gayborhoods are known to consist of the hottest nightlife, diversity in cultures, and beautiful people (apparently I don’t live in one then).   While some may argue that gays drive our neighbourhoods and economic system into the ground, I’m here to tell them they’re dead wrong…I’m talking bout you Michele Bachmann.

In a recent interview with the Huffington Post, Professor Janice Madden (a professor at University of Penn)  found that there is a split between where gay men and lesbian women decide to live. Gay men are drawn to inner city locations just like Chelsea in New York. These parts of town are usually referred to as upscale and trendy. Lesbian women are more likely to live on the outer parts of the city closer to a suburb. This is typically due to fact that lesbians are 4 times more likely to have children, which drastically changes where one wants to live.  Researchers also found that gays have a positive effect on gentrification and the economic aspects of a town. According to a research project conducted by Professor Janice Madden over a decade in which gays will have come to a neighbourhood, the per household income and population will have increased significantly. Looking at a CNN report we can also note that the popular Castro neighbourhood (which consist of 14% same sex couples) is also one of the most expensive places to live in San Francisco. Housing prices seem to increase as well, which is due to new shops and restaurants being opened. Professor Mickey Lauria of the University of New Orleans found that the presence of gay men in the real estate industry of San Francisco were vital to the urban renaissance of the 70s. American academic, Richard Florida, even found that gays lure in investors and new jobs.

Its sounds like time to snatch up a place in new emerging gayborhoods. Nyack in New York is quickly becoming popular among lesbians and is quite affordable at $300 per square feet. An alternative to the popular and expensive West Hollywood would be Eastside, Long Beach. This neighbourhood is half the rent of West Hollywood and expanding rapidly. Get your space quickly before rents start to rise. But if you can’t afford to live in one of these stylish gayborhoods don’t fret! Just remember that the gays are coming.

– Khoa Sinclair