Tag Archives: Lesbian Lifestyle

How Privileged Are You?

You can’t spend more than a few minutes in a feminist space without hearing people talk about privilege. And if you’re new to feminism, the concept can be overwhelming. What exactly does “privilege” mean? What does it look like in today’s society?

Privilege is complex, but as queer women our privileges are often limited – no matter how hard we push forward.

Watch this powerful video from Buzzfeed, then go through the questions your self.


List of questions


1. If your parents worked nights and weekends to support your family, take one step back.


2. If you are able to move through the world without fear of sexual assault, take one step forward.


3. If you can show affection for your romantic partner in public without fear of ridicule or violence, take one step forward.


4. If you have ever been diagnosed as having a physical or mental illness/disability, take one step back.


5. If the primary language spoken in your household growing up was not english, take one step back.


6. If you came from a supportive family environment take one step forward.


7. If you have ever tried to change your speech or mannerisms to gain credibility, take one step back.


8. If you can go anywhere in the country, and easily find the kinds of hair products you need and/or cosmetics that match your skin color, take one step forward.


9. If you were embarrassed about your clothes or house while growing up, take one step back.


10. If you can make mistakes and not have people attribute your behavior to flaws in your racial/gender group, take one step forward.


11. If you can legally marry the person you love, regardless of where you live, take one step forward.


12. If you were born in the United States, take one step forward.


13. If you or your parents have ever gone through a divorce, take one step back.


14. If you felt like you had adequate access to healthy food growing up, take one step forward


15. If you are reasonably sure you would be hired for a job based on your ability and qualifications, take one step forward.


16. If you would never think twice about calling the police when trouble occurs, take one step forward.


17. If you can see a doctor whenever you feel the need, take one step forward.


18. If you feel comfortable being emotionally expressive/open, take one step forward.


19. If you have ever been the only person of your race/gender/socio-economic status/ sexual orientation in a classroom or workplace setting, please take one step back.


20. If you took out loans for your education take one step backward.


21. If you get time off for your religious holidays, take one step forward.


22. If you had a job during your high school and college years, take one step back.


23. If you feel comfortable walking home alone at night, take one step forward.


24. If you have ever traveled outside the United States, take one step forward.


25. If you have ever felt like there was NOT adequate or accurate representation of your racial group, sexual orientation group, gender group, and/or disability group in the media, take one step back.


26. If you feel confident that your parents would be able to financially help/support you if you were going through a financial hardship, take one step forward.


27. If you have ever been bullied or made fun of based on something that you can’t change, take one step back.


28. If there were more than 50 books in your house growing up, take one step forward.


29. If you studied the culture or the history of your ancestors in elementary school take one step forward.


30. If your parents or guardians attended college, take one step forward.


31. If you ever went on a family vacation, take one step forward.


32. If you can buy new clothes or go out to dinner when you want to, take one step forward.


33. If you were ever offered a job because of your association with a friend or family member, take one step forward.


34. If one of your parents was ever laid off or unemployed not by choice, take one step back.


35. If you were ever uncomfortable about a joke or a statement you overheard related to your race, ethnicity, gender, appearance, or sexual orientation but felt unsafe to confront the situation, take one step back.

10 Special Qualities Your Girlfriend Has That Mean You Should Never Let Her Go

Every once in a while – on very rare occasions – we meet the woman of our dreams. It’s always unexpected and almost never at a convenient point in our lives, but she appears nonetheless and changes your life forever.

Finding your other half is a journey of its own – usually a gruelling one at that, but worth it in the long run.

However, not all of us were so wise when we met the loves of our lives. So if you’re looking for a no regret out come, check and see if she has any combination of these 10 qualities.


1. She’s beautiful.

Beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder, but to you this woman is the one and no one can compete with.


2. She’s kind and nurturing.


3. She’s vivacious.

Being are a person who is lively, energetic and hungry for adventure will add a dynamic to your life that will only make you happier.


4. She loves you with all her heart.

If you find a woman that truly loves you then you found the greatest gift in the universe.


5. She’s willing to make compromises.

People are stubborn. We like things the way that we like them and aren’t especially open to making changes we don’t deem necessary to make. However, relationships require making compromises.


6. She feels like home.

Being in love, deeply in love, is like finding your place in the world, your home, for the first time in your life. It’s knowing that you are exactly where you ought to be and that there is nowhere in the world you’d rather be.


7. She is more than happy to tell you when you’re wrong.

Finding a woman who will keep you on track and tell you when you’re wrong can very well make or break your life.


8. She’s passionate.

A life filled with passion is a life worth living.


9. She’s driven.

Without drive, there is no purpose.


10. She means the world to you.

Sometimes we love a person beyond imagination and we aren’t sure why. To be truthful, you don’t really need a reason. If you love her and can’t imagine your life without her, then don’t allow yourself to lose her.


If she means that much to you, then understand that she means that much to you. Too often people don’t realize what the other person means to them until they lose them. We always think that there will be another chance, that it’s possible that the two of you will one day reconnect.

Good people are kind people. If she isn’t kind then she isn’t worthy of taking up a part of your life.

5 Kinds Of Sex Lesbians Have When They’re Not In A Relationship

Just because you’re not in a relationship doesn’t necessarily mean you’re not having sex.

And just like with relationship sex, single sex comes in many different forms – it can be good, it can be bad (sigh). It can be quick and it can turn into something more.


1. The horny kind of drunk sex

You’re out, you’re getting drunk and the drunker you get, the more you really want sex. You know there’s a large possibility that it won’t be the best sex you’ve ever had, but you never know with drunken sex.

Maybe it’s with someone you know, and maybe it’s not. It might not be the best idea you’ve ever had, but as long as you’re safe about it, why not? It happens. When you’re drunk you get flirty, horny or lonely, and sometimes a little sex is all you need to curb that feeling.

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2. The “its just sex” sex that leaves you wishing it would turn into more than just sex.

It’s just sex, and it’s been just sex, for a while. You tell yourself you can handle this whole “no strings attached” thing. You are chilled and mature. You can do it.

You’re with the person one night and when it’s over, you feel yourself wanting to hang on for a little longer, wanting to cuddle and talk about life, just wanting more.

You tell yourself you’re okay with just the sex, but you have a feeling you might be lying to yourself.

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3. The “friends with benefits” sex

It’s possible you and this person have been due to have sex for a long time, as in you’re flirty friends who’ve had tension since you met years ago.

Or maybe, you guys are just friends who never really thought about things that way before, but there’s a first time for everything.

Either way, you know this person really well, and overall, that probably makes the sex so much better. There’s already closeness, and a level of trust that exists. It also has the possibility to start something that was maybe supposed to happen all along, and that just might be worth taking a chance on.

It also might just be fantastic sex with someone you care about, and nothing more.

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4. The not prepared for sex

You weren’t planning to have sex. It wasn’t even a remote possibility for this evenings outing. Usually you plan for sex – throw on your best underwear and some extra perfume, just in case. This was not one of those nights. You were in no way prepared.

When you realises its happening, you just take a deep breath and hope for the best. You could turn it down, but I mean, come on. Hey, sometimes-happy accidents are a good thing, right?

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5. The “we really shouldn’t” kind of sex

So often, there’s that one person who you know you shouldn’t be sleeping with. It’s a friend’s ex, your ex or someone who is already some form of taken.

You both know this isn’t a good idea. You both know this won’t end well. You both do it anyway, with a weird, intense passion that comes from it being so forbidden. Afterward, you’re not sure if you regret it or not. It wasn’t supposed to happen, but that still doesn’t mean you regret it.

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13 Crazy Thoughts We ALL Have When She Doesn’t Text Back

You did it. You sent the girl you like a text. But here comes the ‘wait-for-a-reply’ moment, and waiting for a response can feel like being in purgatory.


1. Go, me!

You wanted to say something, so you made the first move and texted her.

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2. Hmm, still no response. Maybe she’s busy.

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3. But she always has her phone on her.

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4. OK, what could she actually be doing?

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5. Did I send this to the right person?

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6. Putting the phone away now.

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7. Let me just check to see if she answered.

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8. Maybe I’ll just make sure my phone’s still working.

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9. Yep, it’s working.

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10. OMG, my phone’s vibrating.

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11. Oh. It’s not her.

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12. You know, whatever. If she’s going to be like this, I don’t need her.

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13. Wait, she answered! Finally.

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Hahahaha, she made a little joke. She’s so cute. *Heart-eyed emoji*

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An Introvert’s Guide For Asking A Woman Out

1. Don’t try to be some you’re not.

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Be yourself and she will like that about you!


2. Start with a simple conversation.

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Initiate your talk with something casual.


3. Do your homework

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Put your efforts in understanding her interests, her likes, dislikes.


4. Use the Internet to reach out.

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Add her on Facebook


5. Don’t stop being shy

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Some women adore shyness other women.


6. Appreciate her.

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Don’t come up with any cheesy pick-up lines.


7. Be calm.

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Don’t be like a drama queen!


8. Maintain eye contact.

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Your eyes will communicate half the message.


9. Don’t forget to smile

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That is the best way to overcome your fears, but don’t smile too much!


10. Be alright with a ‘No’

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There are plenty more fish in the sea.

How to Get a Lesbian Pregnant? (Video)

Deciding to start a family is not a decision to be made lightly, particularly when you’re two women and the process is somewhat more difficult than for other couples.

For lesbians who want to get pregnant and have children, the decision can be daunting. You need to chose a donor, track your fertility – make sure you sign the right papers. Lesbian motherhood can be big scary unknown.

Lucky there are lesbian couples out there will to share their stories – enter Ebony and Denise of OliviaHas2Moms.

You can catch more videos from Arielle Scarcella on her YouTube channel – so good and so funny.

Lesbian Stereotypes That Are Kind of True-ish (Video)

Kind of true-ish, well for some of them are. As queer women, we tend to use stereotypes to figure out how to fit in with our little queer nation. And some of us actually become the stereotypes them selves.

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Some stereotypes we initially us to learn how to fit in, but then we move past that and evolve into being our authentic and individual lesbian selves.

Lesbian Bush Confidence VS. Cockiness

Maybe it’s just me, but I think that women look better with a nice confident trimmed bush. Whatever the type you have it’s beautiful in all the different textures and colours.

Changing it up with different shapes can be fun (and a fun surprise for your partner) but don’t just assume that every lady prefers hard wood floors to soft cosy carpeting.

You can catch more videos from Arielle Scarcella on her YouTube channel – so good and so funny.

17 Things Studs Should Never Be Ashamed Of

1. Not liking sports.

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2. Not having the perfect physique.

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3. Not wanting to have sex.

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*although how could you resist this??!!!


4. Or wanting to have lots of sex.

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5. Speaking your mind.

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6. Being a feminist.

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7. Falling in love.

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8. Being emotional.

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9. Treating your self every once in a while.

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10. The amount of people you have or have not slept with.

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11. Having confidence and feeling desired.

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12. Letting a fem take the lead.

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13. Accepting a cuddle.

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14. Watching a television show like the Real Housewives of Atlanta.

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15. Showing affection to others

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16. Admitting you’re wrong.

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17. And lastly, don’t be afraid to embrace your feminine side.

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Lessons Every Straight Girl Could Learn from a Lesbian

It’s a scientific fact that lesbian women achieve  more frequently than straight women, so there must be a lot straight women can learn from lesbians – right?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ws89HbVwhpw&feature=youtu.be

You can catch more videos from Arielle Scarcella on her YouTube channel – so good and so funny.

Lesbians Explain Sex Toys (video)

Some lesbians use sex toys, some don’t. Some enjoy penetration, and some enjoy giving. There is no real rule.

Truth be told, most sex toys can be used for any and all bodies in any and all couples or groupings. All you need is a little creativity, an open mind, and possibly some lube.

You can catch more videos from Arielle Scarcella on her YouTube channel – so good and so funny.

Lesbian Problems 101 (Video)

99 problems, getting pregnant ain’t one! But being lesbian can sometimes sucks – from understanding women, to texting, threesomes, complex friendship dynamic, The L Word and more.

Every lesbian goes through these problems. So watch and relate…

Watch more great video from the The Gay Woman Channel – they rock

 

27 Lesbian Rites Of Passage We All Go Through

What is a Lesbian’s ‘Rite of Passage’. Well basically its the rituals that marks your transition from a baby dyke, to a former baby dyke. Simple


1. Coming to terms with your sexuality


2. Lying to your parents about your “friend” staying over – eeeek


3. Hooking up with your ex, and then telling yourself its not “complicated”.


4. Changing your Facebook relationship status to “its complicated”.


5. Pining over your ex for way too long.


6. Obsessing over your online dating profile before you publish.


7. Checking up on someone you’re still hung up on.


8. Staying with someone for all the wrong reasons.


9. Crushing on your best friend.


10. Falling for a straight girl.


11. Felling complete despair after your first big break-up.

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12. Spending an excessive amount of time processing your feelings.

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13. Hooking up with a co-worker.

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14. Hooking up with a friend’s ex.

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15. Hooking up with an ex’s ex.

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16. Completely losing your sanity over a crush.

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17. Not making the first moving, and then watching as your best friend makes it instead.

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18. Too much eye contact, and zero conversation.

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19. Divulging too much information on a first date.

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20. Accidentally texting the wrong girl.

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21. Accidentally texting the right girl the wrong message – cringe.

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22. Changing your wardrobe in order to become more “GAY”.

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23. Changing yourself for the person you’re dating.

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24. Taking too many selfies when you’re single.

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25. Then taking too many ‘welfies’ when you get into a relationship.

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26. Getting a Bieber hair cut.

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27. Telling your best friend you fancy her.

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31 First World Lesbian Problems

1. Other lesbians not thinking you’re gay


2. Having “that talk” with a member of your family

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3. Being told “you’re going through a phase”

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4. Being introduced as “my lesbian friend”

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5. People insulting gay people without knowing you are one

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6. Finding out the woman you like is straight, or are dating someone else

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7. Straight women asking if your are a lesbian

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8. The death of your favourite lesbian character in EVERY TV Show

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9. And then the endless search for Lesbian subtext in EVERY new TV show that comes out

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10. Being asked which is the “boy” in the relationship

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11. Having to out yourself when you make a new friend

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12. Online dating struggles

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13. Shopping in the boy section, then having to use female changing room

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14. Being mistaken for a man “excuse me sir, oh I mean…”

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15. Straight men asking questions about your sex life

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16. Gay man asking you questions about your sex life

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17. Straight women asking you questions about your sex life

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18. Presents from distant family members

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19. Referring to your girlfriend as partner, to keep your sexuality neutral in your workplace

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20. Becoming a lesbian stereotype

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21. As a couple, being confused as friends or worse siblings

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22. When your periods syncs with your girlfriends

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23. Suffering through a bad movie in order to watch that three-minutes of lesbian romance

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24. Having a straight girl crush

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25. Being too afraid to ask a woman you fancy about her sexuality

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26. Being a straight girls experiment

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27. Bro-friendships and listening to their views on women

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28. Over analysing your girlfriend’s motivations

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29. Lock Jaw!

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30.Being told lesbian sex is not real sex

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31. The ending of The L Word

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I’m a Lesbian, But I Wasn’t Born This Way

None of the science dedicated to finding a gay gene holds water, so why not make a positive choice to reject heterosexuality and decide to switch sides?

Julie Bindel explains why she believes she chose her sexuality, rather than it having chosen her. But, she asks, have we returned to the essentialist notion that we are either ‘born that way’ or that we are unthinkingly heterosexual?

The Lies Lesbians Tell

Have you ever been in a relationship where the communication was lacking? Either one of you or even both weren’t being truthful with each other? You’re supposed to care for the person you’re in a relationship with…. right? So why do people constantly lie, cheat, and manipulate?

While most people generally want to be in healthy, truthful relationships, that isn’t always the way it plays out. First we have to think about human nature. We may not realize it, but lots of the decisions we make are based on ideas and instincts that were passed down to us from our ancestors. One of those traits is lying.

Lying is part of our human nature, because most of the time the decisions we make are based on our emotions. As we get closer to another person, we both intentionally and unintentionally share with them information about who we are. This is because as humans, we have a fundamental need to be understood.

While it is absolutely necessary to trust your significant other, this also lays the ground for deception. After all, who makes a better victim than someone who is eager and willing to trust everything you have to say?

What Should Lesbians Say When Mistaken For Men?

You know the scene. You’re walking around with your girl friend and some dude starts saying “Young man! Excuse me!” Then you look up at him (kind of in shock) and he goes “Oops, young lady, sorry!”

What to do? I’m not often mistaken as a boy, but I know how it can leave you feeling. Some people can be insulted some feel indifferent or even a little proud… It really depends on the person, just like anything else.

Pillow Talk | Oh Sh*t I’m Gay

People often ask ‘so when did you discover you were a lesbian?’ Which is highly annoying, but does give me food for though – was I always a lesbian, or did I discover my sexuality?

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I kind of knew I was gay, but when I was younger I didn’t really know what that meant. In school I chased boys, and I even had a boyfriend for most of my time at high school, but on the back burner I was having these weird crushes on girls.

However, at the time, the thought of being with a woman felt more like a ‘secret’ fantasy than reality. Back then, I didn’t think I’d ever act on these ‘secret’ feelings and sadly, the idea of actually telling people I was lesbian, bi, queer… terrified me. I felt certain it would fill my life with stress, judgment and trouble. I was scared.

It wasn’t until I met my first girlfriend, and my pulse sped up to the point where I felt dizzy that I knew. So, I finally embraced, and found, myself.

The process of discovering sexuality differs for everyone. It might take a while for you to figure it out, and there’s no need to rush.

Like me some people say they ‘felt different’ from the time when they were young, but it took a while to think of themselves as queer, lesbian, or bisexual. As they grew older, they realise that those words fit in with their feelings.

Some other people don’t discover their attractions until later in adulthood.

If you’re feeling confused, you’re not alone. Sexual orientation, like many things in life, develop over time and over time your questions will become clearer.

 

Survival Guide: 10 Things That Happen In A Lesbian Relationship

A very funny article written by Mila Jaronie; a writer living and working in New York.

If you are new to the lesbian scene and curious about the future, here is a list of things you can expect to find yourself experiencing once you trap the lady love of your life.


Also read: 5 Common Misconceptions About Lesbian Relationships


Invincibility. When you’re in love, you’re invincible. Nothing can touch you; you share a heartbeat and that’s all that matters. There’s nothing to worry about anymore – you’re safe, you’re warm, you’re protected. You’ve made a home in each other’s arms and hearts and you’re facing the future fearlessly, together, head-on. That is, of course, until she finds an unread message with one too many smiley faces in your inbox from some hot girl. Suddenly, you’ve got a lot of explaining to do.

Olympic drinking. Prepare to be constantly tipsy. In your new relationship, you will feel joyously carefree and adopt a devil-may-care attitude, which will make every day with your girlfriend seem like a mini celebration. Going on an autumn walk? Wine in a traveling cup. She just got out of her linguistics final? Shots! You got off work at midnight instead of 2:00 a.m.? A house call with cheap vodka and champagne is in order. You’re so excited to be together you make every day a party, even if it’s a Tuesday afternoon and you have papers to write.

Olympic crying. Get ready for an onslaught of feelings, girls! You will find new and interesting reasons to be emotional, and therefore take crying to new levels. Cry because she’s the one. Cry because you’re not sure she’s the one. Cry because you’re drunk and her smile is so beautiful. Cry because she’s the only person who understands you. Cry because even after four months, she still doesn’t fully understand you. Cry because she’s fucking you too hard but you don’t want to ruin the moment. Cry because she’s crying. Really, the possibilities are endless.

Severe REM loss. Face it – once you get into a serious lesbian relationship, you will never sleep again. The hours you used to spend sleeping will suddenly be filled with one or more of these: passionate sex, mechanical sex, drunk sex, half-assed sex, angry sex, or a screaming fight about not having sex, followed by pity sex and a faked orgasm (which you don’t normally do, but damn it, you’re really tired).

Expansion. Of the horizontal variety. In a relationship, it is almost guaranteed that you will get fat and happy. You will lie contentedly in her arms on your plush couch among your eclectic throw pillows and reflect on how lucky you are. You will order in and eat out. In a spirit of domestic goddess-osity, you will attempt to cook dinner from scratch, which will of course result in half the kitchen on fire and subsequent takeout from the Chinese bistro down the street. You won’t mind. You’re in love.

BBS (Broke Bitch Syndrome). Enjoy your savings now, because once you get a girlfriend, they will disappear. Bar tabs, vacations, birthday/Christmas/anniversary/Fourth of July presents, decadent seven-course dinners, her car payment, that $245 pair of jeans you impulsively bought because they looked cute on her and she needed cheering up, etc. will chew up and spit out your bank account. You will need to apply for a new credit card just to be able to afford Valentine’s Day.

DSAS (Different-Sized Arms Syndrome). Look, at some point you are going to have to finger-bang your girlfriend. And unless you’re perfectly ambidextrous (or at least ambi-competent), you’re going to be using your dominant hand. Hours of finger-banging will cause your tendons to become extremely flexible and your forearm to exhibit muscle tone you never thought possible. Plus, if she likes it rough, you’ll also develop quite an impressive bicep. Of course, after you break up you’ll start lifting regularly to even out your two different arms, but one will always be slightly larger. Damn it.

Mobile phone aerodynamics. It is also likely that, at some point, you will get out-of-proportion upset over a passive-aggressive text or short, stroppy phone call, and in a flash of rage you’ll decide you’re done with her shit and hurl the phone across the room, at the ceiling, or into moving traffic. You will later send her a Facebook message telling her that you lost your phone, you’re sorry for ignoring her calls, and you’ll be home for dinner.

Chronic worrying. Your laid-back nature will suddenly give way to irrational paranoia and gnawing self-doubt. You will begin to worry constantly, about everything: what she’s doing when she doesn’t answer your texts (even though youknow she’s in for the night), what she meant when she said “I really need to concentrate on my work right now,” and why it’s 2:30 a.m. and she isn’t back from that “talk” with her ex yet. You will question everything – yourself, your relationship, your life choices, whether you’re even gay – and freak out accordingly

Chronic apologizing. In addition to worrying about everything, you will start apologizing for everything. Or, alternately, you will never apologize, and be the one to stomp off in a huff in the middle of an argument even when you’re wrong.


Also read: The 10 Best Things About Being a Lesbian That No One Tells You


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