Tag Archives: masculine-of-center

4 Creative Lingerie Ideas For Butch Women

If you’re a masculine-of-center / butch woman, shopping for lingerie can be triggering. Why does women’s lingerie always consist of pink frills, push-up bras and thongs thinner than floss? The women’s underwear that claims to be “boy’s shorts” are mysteriously tight and short, but underwear from the men’s section is often too large and baggy.

Recently, Elite Daily offered a few tips for how masculine-of-center women can think outside of the gender box. Here are the best of the tips:

Wear suspenders.

Here’s the kicker – wear them without a bra.

You can’t exactly take this outfit out to work (unless you have a very, very lenient boss), but it’s perfect for when you’re expecting late-night guests at home. The suspenders are alluring yet masculine, showing enough to be scandalous but not emasculating.

Sports bras.

Some tomboys want to wear binders in order to completely flatten their chests, but if that doesn’t appeal to you, consider sports bras. They flatten out your chest without damaging your ribcage, and they’re extremely easy to remove once you get to the bedroom.

Fitted Briefs with Room for a Strap-On

RodeoH underwear believes that there shouldn’t be a line between business and pleasure. These flattering, form-fitting briefs are specifically made by queer women, for queer women, and they come with a hole in the front for a dildo. Say goodbye to bulky harnesses.

If you like to pack, then the hole also makes it easy to slip a packer in. The underwear is so comfortable that you can wear the packer all day.

Not sure where to start? RodeoH also sells dildos and packers on their site, so buy the underwear and the toys at the same time.

Tuxedo and Motorcycle Vests

Headed out to a gay bar and really want to make a statement? Planning an especially kinky night for you and your girlfriend? Go bra-less beneath a silky tuxedo or studded leather motorcycle vest. The lack of sleeves will still let you flex your biceps, but the revealing nature of the outfits shows that you’re ready for an adventure.
What’s your favorite tomboy lingerie?

New ‘Butch Talk’ Podcast Discusses All Things Butch

It’s hard being a baby butch.

For one, there are so many types of butch to be. Butch lesbians come in all shapes, sizes and labels. Masculine-of-center. Stud. Andro. Soft butch. Stone butch. Boi. Diesel dyke. The list never ends.

Where do you even start? How do you know which label fits you? And how do you handle practical things like shutting down men who harass you in the streets, or choosing masculine clothing that doesn’t highlight your curves? How do you befriend other butch bros? How do you make sure you’re not perpetuating misogyny? What does it mean to be butch and bisexual?

Thank God for Butch Talk.

Join Whitney Lauren and her guests every week as they tackle new topics relevant to butch women. This new podcast explores female masculinity from all angles through personal stories, interviews, queer history, question-and-answer advice segments and just plain boi/boi banter.

Butch Talk started as a YouTube channel in 2013. The videos covered everything from how to handle your period, to what it means to wear clothing as armor, to what invisible etiquette you need to follow. After amassing thousands of subscribers, the channel took a break for two years, but it is relaunching bigger and better than ever as the Butch Talk podcast.

The beauty of the podcast is that it offers many perspectives on each issue. It will never tell you one right thing to do, but it will offer several people’s opinions on a certain topic. It’s all about starting a conversation.

And if you’re tired of female masculinity being discussed in terms of Judith Butler and other verbose, confusing queer theorists, then don’t worry. Put down the textbook. This podcast is relaxed and informal, and you’ll never hear the phrase “unsustainable analysis of the failing self.”

Eight episodes have debuted so far. The first two episodes discuss hair, the next two cover the politics of clothing, the ones after that discuss physical health, and the most recent episodes talk about family.

While you wait for new episodes, check out calendars highlighting female masculinity at It’s All Butch. Finesse your style at Haute Butch. And share your art at Bklyn Boihood.

How To Come Out As Butch

Some people are supportive of lesbians – but only if they look a certain way. That “way” is usually thin, feminine, and unthreatening to gender binaries or to men.

If you feel more masculine – aka stud, butch, or masculine-of-center – then starting to express your masculinity can be more stressful than coming out in the first place.

Being butch means you’ll often be read as gay immediately. It means that people who initially supported your sexuality may be suddenly uncomfortable.

It means your friends and family may question who you are. How do you transition from feminine to butch smoothly?


1. Start small.

If you don’t feel comfortable changing your entire wardrobe overnight, then start with small changes. One day, wear a men’s button-up with women’s skinny jeans. Another day, wear a dress with a men’s snapback. Experiment with bow ties, men’s sweaters, suits, argyle socks, and trousers.

Not only will this allow people to acclimate to your new gender expression, but you’ll also be able to acclimate to their reactions. Over time, raised eyebrows won’t even faze you.


2. Find your style.

Men’s fashion is very diverse, so give yourself room to experiment. Although you may think you identify with a specific style – are you a dapper qt? or a hipster john? – that may change as you explore.

Read men’s fashion blogs. Read women’s menswear blogs. Shop at thrift stores. Order basic men’s pieces from Forever 21 and H&M so that you can mix and match. Browse international streetwear stores. Hit pop-up shops. Steal from your brother.


 3. Be cool with your female days.

Just because you start to identify as butch, that doesn’t mean you have to present as butch all the time. Gender is nuanced and gender expression can be even more so.

Some days you might wake up wanting to wear a dress. That doesn’t make you a fake or a fraud; it’s just the way your body wants to express itself that day, so honor it.


4. Don’t be homophobic.

Some butch women won’t date butch women because it’s too “gay,” as if it would be like two men dating. Not only does that mentality insinuate that gay men should be ashamed, but it also heavily implies that gay female relationships are only okay as long as one partner is more feminine than the other.

Masculinity and femininity aren’t necessary for a relationship. So don’t react like a homophobic straight man when you see two butch people together, or when your feminine friend asks your opinion on another stud.


5. Don’t be a misogynist.

Similarly, it’s depressingly easy and common for butch women to internalize heteronormative anti-women attitudes. etc. A butch woman may call women weak, may be possessive or even abusive, may objectify women – and then excuse her behavior because she’ s a woman too. Being a woman isn’t a hall pass for problematic behavior.


6. Be yourself.

Expressing yourself as stud or butch can be confusing, but at the end of the day, it’s worth it if you’re being true to yourself. On difficult days, keep that in mind. Every struggle brings you closer to the person you were meant to be.