Tag Archives: same-sex families

Gaybies: We Are Not a Hypothetical (Photo Series)

Right now, roughly 11% of gay adult men and 33% of gay adult women in Australia are raising children. And yet, while poll after poll showing the majority of Australians approve of same-sex marriage, Australia remains the only English-speaking country in the world not to have legalised it, with conservatives citing the same concern: the welfare of kids raised by two mums or two dads.

In all of this, filmmakers Maya Newell (herself raised by two mothers) and Charlotte Mars noticed one voice was crucially missing: the kids.

So over several years, they followed the lives of four children and their same-sex parents, and made the feature documentary Gayby Baby.

After seeing the documentary before its release, artist Casey Legler and photographer Jez Smith – in collaboration with the Gayby Baby team — spearheaded the photo series GAYBIES: We Are Not a Hypothetical, which showcases kids raised by same-sex parents — including several from the film.

Upon its Australian cinema release last week, however, Gayby Baby made headlines for all the wrong reasons. Conservative tabloid The Daily Telegraph published a front-page news story reporting that parents had objected to a scheduled school screening of the film. Soon after, The Guardian proved those reports were false. It didn’t matter: the New South Wales education minister banned the film from being screened during school hours.

The timing of Legler and Smith’s photo essay couldn’t be better. Now, after being told their families are “not normal” in the national press, three of the kids featured in Gayby Baby — Ebony, Gus and Matt — have spoken up, and the present-day photos have given them the opportunity to have their voices heard one more time.


Ebony, 16

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I’m in the film Gayby Baby, which started when I was 12, and I’m now 16. My brother Ashaan is now 5, Seth is 12 – oh gosh, he’s old! – and Makaya has just turned eight weeks. Ang is 40 this year and my mum is 36. I hear the words “gay agenda” all the time, and every time it makes me laugh. The only agenda my parents have is getting Makaya to sleep, or making sure we have done our homework, then getting our reports … and seeing we haven’t done our homework. I doubt this film has a gay agenda. It’s just us, and [filmmaker] Maya following us around for a few years. If my life has an agenda, then I’d like someone to explain that to me.

People can make assumptions about you and throw statistics at you and they can say all these things about you but in the end no knows your family but you.”


Seth, 12

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I have two mums. There’s also my sister Ebony, my little brother Ash, and my littlest brother Makaya. I found out my family was different in Year One. At my school you do Christian Scripture, and the only way not to go is you have to send an email to the principal. My parents didn’t know about that, so I went. We were a couple of weeks into it when they started to say, “If you have same-sex parents, or if you are gay, it’s a sin.” It was a shock and I was kind of confused. So I went home, Mum had a good long chat to the principal and Ang got me a bowl of ice cream. But yeah, that’s how I knew my family was different. But I’ve never really cared, ’cause my family is great. I’d rather my family is different and happy, than “normal” and not happy.

No matter what people say, don’t let it get you down. Just own it. If someone says your family is weird, just move on.”


Ashaan, 5

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I am Ashaan and I have two mums. On my birthday I get two things!


Jesse, 23

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My family consists of my two mothers – Louise and Margaret – my brother Raj, and my father Paul. What’s great about my family is that it is different, but at its core, it’s the same as everyone else’s. If Gayby Baby had been shown when I was at school, I wouldn’t have had to lie and make up stories about what my family was, and who that other woman living with us was. I could have been open and honest about myself and with my friends from the start. No one can ever discriminate against you if you are proud of yourself.

No one can ever discriminate against you if you are proud of yourself. You shouldn’t have to hide. Be yourself.”


Gus, 14

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My parents are Jen and Jamie, and I have a little sister, Rory. What’s great about my family is that they love me very much. They’re a pretty average family, but they are pretty daggy. When I woke up on Wednesday, my parents were pretty upset [by the Daily Telegraph front page], because the screening was suppose to be a step forward for the gay movement. But I was like, “Cool, I made the front page.”

Just try not to listen to the rich white politicians and love your family. Don’t blame them for anything, cause despite what everyone thinks — it’s not a choice.”


Vivienne, 10

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I have three mums – Fiona, Jam and Gina – a brother called Bruno who is very annoying, a cat called Jasper, and another a cat called Flash who lives with six Spiny Leaf Stick insects. What I like about my mums is that they are completely different.

One is tough and is a blacksmith, my other mum works for Women NSW and my other mum is a writer. At school, sometimes people say “that’s gay’ or they call people gay. I try and stop them but they just keep doing it. The other day, even one of my best friends said, “That’s so gay,” and I was like, “That is extremely rude.”

Stand up for what you believe in and don’t let them bring you down.”


Rory, 8

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My family is like every family. There are some bad things and some good things. I felt half happy because Gus was on the front page of the newspaper, but half sad because they were being mean to people with gay and lesbian families. The people who disagree with it have not watched the film. If they watch Gayby Baby, they will know that everyone is the same, because all families have their differences.

Everyone is the same because all families have their differences.”


Brenna, 19

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When I was eight, me and my parents went on an episode of [Australian children’s TV show] Play School . Parents complained, so controversy is something I am very used to. Even though it’s been really yuck to see homophobia given airtime, it has shown that there is a lot of support for gay and lesbian families too. Watching Gayby Baby, I realised I had never seen my family on screen in all those complex ways. I felt an enormous sense of pride.

I want kids who are growing up with same-sex parents to know that you understand diversity, acceptance and love more than most fully grown adults.”


Dylan, 13 and Matt, 16

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Dylan: I have two mums who are married, a dad, a soon-to-be step mum, a brother and a stepsister. My mums got married in New Zealand, then came to Australia for the reception. It was really fun. My brother and I made speeches, danced down the aisle and did the first dance. To other kids in families like mine, I’d say, just remember that you are just like every other family, but you’re better, ’cause you have two of them. Be proud of it.

Matt: My mums wanted to get married in Australia but it’s illegal. They were going to wait until they legalised it, but that was going to take too long, so they went to New Zealand. It wasn’t the best, ’cause they had to go overseas and none of their friends could be with them. But then they came back and had a wedding reception and that was really fun. People are saying Gayby Baby is political and shouldn’t be shown in schools, but it’s just showing kids like me who have gay parents that it’s alright.


Sunnai, 16

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I have two mums, a donor dad, and another mum that lives in Melbourne. I’ve been in the [Sydney Gay and Lesbian] Mardi Gras since I was zero. When I was four, the theme for the rainbow kids was The Wizard of Oz.Mum, Lil and I all dressed up as the Tin Man and we painted our bodies silver. It was one of the best Mardi Gras I’ve ever been in. My advice to younger kids? Acknowledge that you are different. Because who wants to be normal? Normal is so boring.

Who wants to be normal? Normal is so boring. Being different is so special; you are brought up with so much love and acceptance.”

thegaybyproject.com/screenings

New South Wales Premier ‘Distressed’ After Backing Ban On Same-Sex Parenting Film

Mike Baird, the Premier in New South Wales in Australia has apologised, and said he was “distressed” after he backed ban on showing of a same-sex parenting film.

Burwood Girls High in Sydney planned on screening the film Gayby Baby to students last Friday morning as part of “Wear it Purple” day – a equality campaign aimed at encouraging LGBT inclusion and support in schools.

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However, the film was banned from being shown during school hours, by New South Wales’ education minister Adrian Piccoli.

State Premier Mike Baird backed the move:

I understand the intent of that is to provide an example of tolerance and that’s something I absolutely support. Should it be in class time? No, I don’t think so. Should it be optional? Yes, I do think so.”

Upper house Labor MP Penny Sharpe brought up the controversy at a budget estimate on Thursday.

She said she had heard from a gay parent who said she felt the government’s action on the film had sent a message to her kids that they were not normal.

The letter read

I want to cry because although I know our child is ever so loved and balanced and sensible, and fully supported as an emerging young person in their own right, I can’t really know what this does to them. I am outraged at the media, but more at the damage made so much greater with a government affirmation and intervention that ensured that the message of `unacceptable’, `not normal’, and `tacitly deviant, therefore worth less’ was slammed full force, without consideration, consultation or care, into the minds of children and families throughout the state.”

Mr Baird responded to say that he had been “very distressed by the way this played out.”

I have to say to her that I’m incredibly sorry. Everyone – every single person – has value. Everyone is normal. The last thing I want is for any family to not feel loved and accepted across NSW.”

Gayby Baby is a documentary, which tells the stories of children of same-sex parented families. Sydney filmmakers Maya Newell and Charlotte McLellan raised $100k to make the film through crowdfunding in 2012.

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As the daughter of two mothers, Newell hoped to change the minds of those who believe same-sex parenting is detrimental to children and ultimately her goal is to bring gay marriage to reality. The documentary is told from the perspectives of the three such ‘gaybies’ to see what it’s really like to grow up in such a family.

Australian Film Maker Challenges The Perception of Same-Sex Parenting

A brand new Australian documentary film is coming soon –  Gayby Baby – which tells the stories of children of same-sex parented families.

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In Gayby Baby we meet four kids – Gus, Ebony, Matt and Graham – whose parents all happen to be gay. As they each wrestle with the onset of puberty, the outside world wrestles with the issue of marriage equality, and whether or not kids of same-sex families are at risk.

Sydney filmmakers Maya Newell and Charlotte McLellan raised $100k to make the film through crowdfunding in 2012.

As the daughter of two mothers, Newell hopes to change the minds of those who believe same-sex parenting is detrimental to children and ultimately her goal is to bring gay marriage to reality. We’re in the midst of what Newell likes to call a ‘Gayby-Boom’ with fifteen percent of homosexual couples raising a child – amounting to millions of children across the globe. The documentary will be told from the perspectives of the three such ‘gaybies’ to see what it’s really like to grow up in such a family.

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Newell explains

“I am a ‘gayby’ – a person with gay parents. I want to tell the story of children growing up in families like mine. When I was a kid, there were not many other children with gay parents. I would have loved to be able to watch a film and feel that my experiences were shared. So I decided to make that film.”

Maya Newell

The release of Gayby Baby follows Newell’s Growing Up Gayby, a 2013 documentary on the same subject which screened on the ABC in 2013.

The documentary will be having its World Premiere at Hot Docs Film Festival in Toronto, Canada next month, and we’ll let you know when screenings are happening here.

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The official website for Gayby Baby will soon be updated with lots more information. See it here.

‘Heather Has Two Mommies’ is Revised to Include Lesbian Marriage

It’s been just over 25 years since a playful picture book about a little girl named Heather and her two happy mommies was a cultural and legal flashpoint. At the time, it represented a startling first in children’s literature — a story about the daughter of lesbians — which angered conservatives over the morality of same-sex parenting and landing libraries in battles over placement in the children’s stacks.

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Today, Heather – of Heather Has Two Mommies – has a lot more company in books for young kids about different kinds of families, but hers was out of print and seemed visually dated.

That’s why creator, Leslea Newman, decided on a new version, updating the look with fresh illustrations from a new artist and tweaking the text to streamline.

However, there’s one big change, but you have to squint to notice: Heather’s Mama Kate and Mama Jane wear little matching rings on their marriage fingers.

Newman explained…

“I don’t specifically say that they’re married but they are. I don’t know where I could have smoothly inserted that into the text. That’s not what the story is about. The story is really about Heather.”

Heather was Newman’s first picture book and is certainly her most well-known. The latest edition, out this month, is from Candlewick Press, with illustrations by Laura Cornell replacing those of Diana Souza.

Newman wrote the story in 1988 after a chance encounter in Northampton with Amy Jacobson, a lesbian mom who was looking for reading material that better reflected her life with her partner – now wife – and their young daughter – now grown.

“Every step I was educating people about our family because there was nothing else. If I hadn’t done it somebody else would have found an author. The book needed to happen.”

Increase in LGBT Adopters Seen Across the UK

In the UK, same-sex couples have had the right to adopt children since 2005. While it certainly took parliament long enough to make that legal, now approximately 7% of all adoptions that take place in the UK are done by same-sex families.

The figures may be a little higher for the leading national adoption support service, After Adoption, though, as a massive 13% of all of their adoptions between 2013-2014 were done by lesbian, gay, bisexual or trans* adopters.

The reason for that figure, After Adoption says, is because they’re keen to show that sexuality or gender identity don’t make a difference when it comes to who can provide a loving family for a child. The CEO of After Adoption, Lynn Charlton also adds that:

“At After Adoption, our priority as a Voluntary Adoption Agency is to create happy, lasting families. For this we need people to come forward to adopt who can provide loving, stable homes and who will commit to children for life. Sexuality isn’t a factor in that.

People who identify as LGBT play a key role in creating these families and this year 1 in 5 of our newly approved adopters identified as lesbian, gay, bisexual or transgender. But we know some people are still worried they’ll be told “no”, or that their sexuality will be a barrier to adoption.”

Meanwhile, After Adoption also recently used their position as a key sponsor and exhibitor of New Family Social’s LGBT Adoption & Fostering Week (which took place in Manchester on March 2nd) to talk about the general adoption process but also to dispel common misconceptions that people have about the LGBT community and their adoption of children.

According to official statistics, there are over 60,000 children in care in the UK and while there are no official numbers, there is certainly a great deal of same-sex couples or those who identify as LGBT who would like to adopt and start families of their own. The fact that After Adoption is helping with that is certainly a good thing and you can find out more at their website here.