The dating world is a scary place. But if you’re dating one of the following 10 lesbians, you could be making it even scarier for yourself.

1. The Clinger

In our 20s, there are bound to be a few clingy lesbians – it goes without saying. And if you’re clingy, too, it can seem like dating another clinger would be a good idea, right? Well… Not necessarily. It’s not really healthy to fall “madly in love” with someone after a first date – this just proves that you have no idea what the difference between love and infatuation really is, and that has a potential to reach stalker territory real quick.

If you are a clinger and want to fix that, one of the easiest ways to work on this is to remind yourself about the differences between love and infatuation. OK, it’s still not an easy habit to break, since it’s likely to have become part of your overall personality at this point, but it’s in your best interest to get over it as soon as you can.

2. The Dingbat

Before I get any backlash for this, let me say that there is a huge difference between “not smart” and “not intelligent”. Not everyone is going to be a genius, and that’s OK. But if you’re dating someone who has nothing to offer but their good looks (and a play-by-play of every episode of Keeping Up with the Kardashians)… RUN! Most likely, this woman’s looks are going to fade eventually, and then you will have nothing left to talk about except mindless drivel. (Especially if she’s a clinger, too – yikes!)

If you think you might fall under the “dingbat” label, and you’d like to swiftly remove yourself from it, thankfully it’s not that difficult. There are always opportunities to learn, and even if you did bad in school, that doesn’t mean you’re doomed. Try expanding your interests, and find a little bit of culture – not everything will be right for everyone, and that’s OK. What’s most important is that you try to find interests that will hold up to “adult conversation” tests – consider speaking with your older friends and relatives to get some insight as to what counts as “grown-up chat”.

3. The Party Girl

Most lesbians go through the “party girl phase” in their lives – sometimes it’s fun to just go out with your friends and paint the town. But there’s a very good reason that most party girls are in the barely-legal age bracket: That’s the appropriate time for this stuff. It’s completely normal to rebel a little bit once you’re out of your parents’ house, but party girls only really attract other party girls – and this isn’t good for a healthy relationship. Eventually, one of you will grow tired of waiting until 2 AM for your love to come home so you can spend some time together. No one wants to be with someone who’s acting half their age.

This doesn’t mean you can’t still party – in fact, it’s fun to mix things up every now and then. It’s only really a problem if it’s happening most of the time – an almost-30-year-old shouldn’t be trying to act like a 19-year-old. If you’re looking to get out of the party life, it might be as simple as exploring your other interests, and allowing yourself some fun time in celebration of a hard week of “adulting”. Keep everything in perspective, and don’t leave your partner wondering where you are!

4. The Gold Digger

This one should be self-explanatory: You should never be with someone who only loves you for your money. The truth is, things can happen at any time, and the girl who’s only sticking around for the pay-off is most likely not going to be a good girlfriend. She might be attractive, and she might dress well, but you’ve got to think: How much of that stuff was paid for by her ex? Not quite so attractive now, is it? Just make sure your relationship is for all the right reason – how deep your pockets are should never be a prerequisite for love.

If you find yourself caring a little too much about how wealthy your partner is (or you expect a lot of material gifts in your relationship), you need to ask yourself why you aren’t willing to get these things for yourself. Women’s earning potential is significantly better than it ever has been in the past, and you have a chance to be successful on your own – why rely on someone else to finance you?

5. The InstaFamous

Honestly, I don’t get the obsession with Instagram in the first place, or the need for women to post pictures of themselves half-naked anywhere, really. It’s great that these women have self-confidence – but they’re not setting themselves up to be good relationship material. Some women really do thrive on attention from others, but most of us aren’t comfortable with dating someone who everyone has seen intimately. More than just that, the women who are focused on their Instagram accounts more than actual interaction with their girlfriend are actually allowing these fans to rank higher than said girlfriend – do you want to take a backseat to literally anyone else who wants to see her boobs? I’m guessing not.

Ladies, there is definitely a line between self-respect and respect for your partner. I do not think that posing half-naked means that you’ve got no morals, or any of that garbage. In fact, I follow a few alternative beauty Instas myself – which often means boobs. But I wouldn’t want to date any of those women, because I know why I look at them, and I know a lot of other people who do, too. And maybe I’m just a little too insecure.

6. The Proud Bad Girl

If you’re thinking of dating someone who’s always bragging about the time she was arrested, or the time she keyed her ex’s car, or the time she hacked into that government website, or whatever the bad behavior is… Run. Fast. Many women think they’re into the rebels and the delinquents, but really, we want to make them better people. But if she’s bragging about her bad behavior, she doesn’t want to change – and you’re likely to get hurt. (Or, you might just have to visit her behind glass – but that’s not too fun, either.)

It’s never too late to change your bad behavior, of course, but you need to identify why you feel compelled to act badly. Is it because you think it’s sexy? It is – but knock it off anyway. You won’t be doing your girlfriend any favors if you get locked up, and most women aren’t willing to wait around for you to get out – if your girlfriend is, show her your appreciation by not making her wait for you. Obviously.

7. The Hard-to-Get

It’s 2016 – why is playing hard to get still a thing? It’s a mind game, pure and simple, and if you have to convince someone to like you, you’re just being desperate. Knock it off, and find someone who’s actually worth your time – the person who won’t waste it. The woman you want to date will also want to date you – if she makes you prove yourself, she’s not really in it, and she’s hoping you’ll lose interest. (Or, she’s an ass – either way, steer clear.)

If you are still playing hard-to-get in your relationships, I beg you to knock it off. No one should have to get someone else’s approval, especially when it comes to things that have nothing to do with you. You are not so important that you’re entitled to waste someone else’s time, no matter what your exes may have led you to believe.

8. The Chat Speaker

Not everyone is going to have perfect, impeccable grammar skills and spelling that makes English teachers swoon. But if you’re talking to someone who speaks like a 14-year-old on Myspace (yeah, remember those days?) she’s being deliberately lazy – and it’s reasonable to assume she’ll take other obvious shortcuts, too. If you’re a lazy texter, too, maybe it won’t be so bad – but think of all the miscommunication that’s going to go on between the two of you! (And, on that note, emojis are for adding to a conversation, not replacing the conversation – I shouldn’t need to understand hieroglyphics in order to talk to you.)

If you’re a chat speaker, you might have come up with all sorts of excuses as to why that is. It takes less time (which means you’re lazy – it takes longer for the recipient to decipher your message). It’s creative (which means you can’t be bothered to figure out how to actually spell the words). It’s easier to leave letters out (which means talking is more important to you than being understood). Basically, it’s lazy, and even if you’re not a great speller, an honest effort is easier to figure out than a random mess of letters and emojis.

9. The Chronically Unemployed

Almost everyone deals with unemployment at some point in their lives. Some of us just can’t keep a job, for the life of us – but it’s important to realize that, in most cases, people get let go for a reason. Very rarely will it actually be a form of discrimination, so if your girlfriend has all these notes as to why their last 30 employers (or prospective employers) thought they were unemployable, it’s probably your girlfriend’s fault.

If you find yourself stuck in a cycle of hired-fired repeatedly, or you just can’t seem to nail an interview, maybe you’re looking into the wrong profession. Most people are really good at something, and chances are, there’s a job out there that’s perfect for you. Instead of saying your past bosses just hated you, focus on making yourself a more valuable employee at a place that shares your values and goals. There’s a “right job” for everyone – if it’s not out there yet, find a way to create it!

10. The Better-Than-You

Lastly, if you are dating someone who thinks they’re better than you (and makes a point to say so) – run, as fast as you can, in the opposite direction. Whether she’s right or not, a relationship requires equal partners. The best relationships are one where your partner thinks you’re the sun and stars, and you think she’s the sun and stars, and together you’re in perfect harmony. Of course, that doesn’t always work out, but in any case, no one wants to be with someone who holds things over their head or talks down to them. No one – I mean no one – deserves to be treated like a lesser person.

If you have been in the habit of acting like you’re better than your partner, you are doing both of you a huge disservice. Not only is it arrogant for anyone to think they’re better than another person, on a wide scale, but it’s also selfish to think you have no room to improve. Most likely, in the relationship, the two of you will be better than each other in different areas – but instead of using it to talk down on her, you should be using that energy to help her become better – and she, you. Relationships are nourished by loving words and caring actions – not by competition and snide remarks.