We have to admit that we’re totally fans of Netflix’s Orange Is the New Black and have been completely swept away in the personal lives of Piper, Alex and the other Litchfield Correctional inmates.

However, sadly the truth is the real-life Piper’s prison stay and romance with her real-life ex-girlfriend, is far from as seen on TV.

In fact, the original Alex Vause — 50-something former felon Cleary Wolters — tells HuffPost Live that her romance with Piper Kerman (Taylor Schilling‘s character Piper Chapman on the series) was far too brief to be noteworthy – kill joy.

I’m flattered that they picked out me in her life as such an interesting, charismatic character that they had to make a whole backstory about me. I never imagined I’d be Donna from That 70s Show. When I watch that part of the series, I watch it as a viewer. I don’t say ‘that’s my life.'”

Other differences between OITNB and real prison life? There’s much less sex — at least out in the open.

Also read: ‘Orange Is the New Black’ Gets Season 4 Renewal From Netflix, And We Get Another Sneak Peak of the Next Season

There is sex occurring, but it’s not happening in the showers without a shower curtain. if you get caught having sex, you go to . . . solitary confinement. I never saw it. In fact, I might have stayed had that been the case. There’d be a line to get into prison if it were as fun as Orange Is the New Black shows it to be.”