An intimate lesbian relationship consists of a framework of emotional connections that create a bond between two women.
Its not just a physical romance (sex, kissing, and hugging), but an emotionally one.
You share stories, offer emotional support, provide loving words, nurture and support. You are attentive to you girlfriend in more ways than one.
It’s a mix of both aspects — physical and emotional — is important to a healthy relationship.
But when one piece goes missing, the intimate bond begins to deteriorate.
Emotional cheating is often far more destructive to a lesbian relationship than physical infidelity. It can go much further before it is acknowledged, because the line between “friendship” and “emotionally intimate relationship” is often blurred.
There isn’t just one act that points to cheating.
Physical cheating is easy to define for most people — it’s a specific sexual act.
But what constitutes emotional cheating?
1. She starts to disconnect from you. When she gets attention and emotional reinforcement from someone else, she may start detaching from you. She’ll stop discussing problems or bad days with you, because this need is being met outside of your relationship.
2. She spends more time connecting – be it talking on the phone, texting or spending time together – than she does with you.
3. She doesn’t want to be intimate with you. When people become connected to the fantasy of another person. This can included an imagined sexual relationship, and therefore intimacy with you feels like an emotional betrayal to the other woman.
4. She seeks and gives a majority of her emotional support to this other woman.
5. She’s constantly checking out her Facebook profile. Once an emotional affair is in place, Facebook often becomes a primary way they communicate. They also make the relationship easier to hide.
6. She depends on someone other than you (her significant other) to meet her needs – to feel loved, connected and feel significant.
7. Someone else distracts her when she should be present in your relationship.
8. You catch her saying “we’re just friends” way too often. Those words are usually said to rationalise something we know is wrong.
9. She starts to keep secrets. If your girlfriend is trying to hide something from you, you’re probably going to notice, especially if you live together. She might start taking her phone into the bathroom or will stop texting the moment when you walk into the room.
10. She becomes more critical of you In addition to pulling away emotionally or physically, your partner might also put you down. Why, one reason is because she’s starting to compare you to the fantasy of the other person. The other is guilt.
11. She gets defensive if you happen to criticise the object of her affection, she gets extremely defensive if anything even slightly negative is say about the person she likes.
Emotional cheating is very real thing. In fact, over half of all emotional affairs start out innocently as online friendships. More than 70% of those friendships or flirtations will end up as real time affairs.
