In the lesbian dating world, there are mistakes that we’re all bound to make at one point or another. Hopefully we don’t continue to make these mistakes throughout our dating life – but most people will have been through at least some of these before.
How many can you honestly say you’ve never done?
Too much, too fast.
If you’re with the right lady, she’ll eventually want to hear about every little crisis in your life – but you should pace yourself. Start slow, and in time you can open up further. If you put too much out there at once, you risk pushing her away.
Answering the phone.
It should go without saying, but you shouldn’t answer your phone on a date. If you really must take a call, make sure you excuse yourself and step away – but unless it’s an emergency, it’s best if you just keep it in your pocket.
Focusing on the past.
Most of us have exes, and that’s fine. What’s not fine is if you talk about them all the time with your new boo. It’s okay if you tell the basic details, but avoid saying anything that might make your girlfriend judgmental or jealous. Otherwise, you look like you’re not over the past yet – and you should be focused on the future.
Some people like the little bit of liquid courage that can come with a first date at a bar or casual dining restaurant. However, unless you want to risk making a complete fool of yourself, it’s best to stick to just a few drinks at most.
Hanging out with all your friends.
We know you’re going to want to introduce this new dream girl to all your friends, and I’m sure they’d love to meet her. But you shouldn’t overwhelm her with too many new people right at the start. Many women may feel anxiety in situations where they feel like the odd one out, and being around a bunch of people who know you inside out certainly isn’t going to help her feel at ease. Besides, don’t you want to get to know her first?
Being too serious.
While politics and current events can be a great topic of discussion, it’s best if you wait until you know each other a little better before you get too far into the serious stuff. You should feel free to discuss briefly the issues most important to you, but don’t be boring.
Running too long.
If we feel a deep connection with someone right away, we might be tempted to spend a great deal of time with them. But it’s better if we take our time, pace ourselves – give ourselves time to become more comfortable with one another. If you try to push it, you can seem clingy – or you could run out of things to talk about before the second date!
Making plans for the future.
You shouldn’t be planning further ahead than the next date. You shouldn’t get your hopes up too high at this point – just take your time and get to know each other. If you plan too far ahead and things don’t work out, you can end up feeling a bit awkward.
Ladies, there are very few reasons it’s appropriate to lie to a girl you’re interested in, and even less good reasons to lie to someone you’re not interested in. Just tell the truth! If you’re not interested in seeing her again, don’t pretend you are. There’s no reason to play games.
You’d think that this was a given, but some people forget to be nice to the other people they encounter on their date. It’s not just about your lady friend – the waiters, the guy who parks your car, the other customers in the restaurant… The way you treat these people will reflect on you, too, so be on your best behavior.
Do you have any other “don’ts” for a first date? Share them in the comments!