10 Reminders for Every Woman Who Doesn’t Think She’s Perfect

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I’m not sure exactly when it happened, but at some point in our recent history, self-esteem became this taboo thing for women. When we’re given a compliment, the “polite” thing to do is to reject the notion, and to assume that the other person is just being polite. With as much as the media has taken over our lives, it can get really hard to not think that someone else is more attractive than you.

Unfortunately for some of us, it’s not always just the media that does it to us. We do it to ourselves, or maybe we’ve had someone in our lives who did it to us. We end up turning to the people who are close to us, and seek their validation – even though we’ll just reject it and replace it with our own, anyway. It really doesn’t make a lot of sense, but I know I’m not the only person who does this.

And yet, when we’re trying to be that person for our friends and loved ones, it comes so much easier. “You’re just as pretty as she is,” we’ll tell them. “You’re smart and funny, too – you’re the whole package!” These are the same things they’ll tell us one day, but we can’t accept that they mean it… Even though we mean it when we say it. You just don’t go lying to your besties, after all.

So why do we like to lie to ourselves so much? How come it’s so hard to think positive things about ourselves, and tell ourselves the things we need to hear?

Personally, I’m in the middle of some life-changing revolutions right now, and one of the biggest is trying to realign my positivity (something we all could benefit from, to be honest). Here are some affirmations for those days when you feel less than your best. Consciousness creates reality, after all, so the more you believe these things are true, the truer they’ll be for you. Give it a try!

1. Beauty is subjective.

Just because one person doesn’t see beauty doesn’t mean no one sees the beauty. No matter how you feel about yourself, there is someone out there who thinks you’re absolutely gorgeous. In fact, there are probably more people who find you attractive than you think!

2. It doesn’t matter how many people think you’re beautiful.

What matters is how you see yourself. Women who are “conventionally attractive” can feel that they’re not beautiful, too – and no matter how many people tell them otherwise, they still won’t believe it until they can see it, too.

3. Beauty is a choice.

No matter what mistakes you’ve made in life, your true beauty comes from within. Your external beauty may change over time, but that doesn’t make your true beauty fade – it just changes, and sometimes new is good. If you choose to be beautiful, you are beautiful.

4. Beauty is eternal.

While choosing to feel beautiful is a daily occurrence, that doesn’t mean that your beauty isn’t there on the days you don’t feel it. It just means that it’s hiding. Once you’re ready to embrace your beauty again, it’ll still be there – true beauty never fades.

5. Happiness is beautiful.

If you are living a life that you love, bringing joy and happiness to yourself and others, you are beautiful – inside and out. Even on the days it’s hard to smile, focusing on the positive side of things will infuse a little more beauty into your everyday life.

6. Positivity is the key.

Part of my current revolution involves focusing on the positives in my life, and once you do that, you really do become unstoppable. We might find it easier to focus on the one thing we dislike about ourselves, rather than the ten things we love about ourselves, but if we allow the positive things to have a voice, they will soon become loud enough to drown out the negativity.

7. Beauty has no specifics.

Feeling beautiful has nothing to do with fashion, or makeup, or any definitions you’ll find. True beauty is a reflection of our innermost thoughts, and can’t be assigned a specific label. If you feel beautiful, you are beautiful.

8. Accept compliments – and give them freely.

If someone compliments you on something they love about you, take the compliment! When did it get so wrong to let ourselves feel good about ourselves? It doesn’t have to be a comment about your appearance, either – and, in fact, you should do your best to give compliments based on “deeper things”, like someone’s character, their diligence, and their sense of humor. These things are beautiful, too.

9. Do what makes you feel beautiful.

If new clothes make you feel beautiful, treat yourself! If a walk in the open air brings beauty and joy into your life, do that. For me, it’s my writing – being able to put words onto a page gives meaning to my day. Think of what makes you feel beauty, and make an effort to do more of that.

10. Don’t worry about other people.

If you’re comparing yourself to someone else’s idea of beautiful, you’re never going to feel beautiful. Instead, focus on what you think is valuable, and live a life that shines. You are a glorious human being and no one can tell you otherwise. Now, get out there and be beautiful!

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