If there is one holiday the gay men beat us at, it’s Halloween. They win for two reasons: First, because they’re willing to spend a lot of precious hours and dollars on something extravagant, sparkly, and beautiful. Secondly, because if they don’t want to put effort into anything they can just wear a jock-strap and go as some sort of professional athlete.
In an effort to help the ladies who love ladies out there, I have compiled a list of costumes that you can assemble mostly from your closet (or your girlfriend’s if you’re lucky enough to have one). And don’t worry; they aren’t the default trucker, cowgirl, and/or lumberjack that we’ve all done last minute.
1. The Dude
From Your Closet: A white v-neck tee, sandals, sunglasses, and plaid board shorts.
You Might Have To Get: A bathrobe
2. Kim Possible
From Your Closet: Cargo pants (I know they’re in the closet somewhere, probably next to your first college girlfriend), black shirt, and gloves.
Tip: Say, “What’s the sitch?” into your cell phone all night.
3. Lara Croft
Even if you don’t have big boobs, this is an easy and fun one to do!
From Your Closet: There’s a ton of different versions of her so you can wear dark or khaki shorts or pants, a black tank top, and combat boots. Throw your hair in a braid or let your girlfriend do it as a fun bonding experience.
You Might Have To Get: Some fake guns if they’re allowed at the party you’re attending.
4. Hey Arnold
From Your Closet: Red flannel, green sweater, jeans, and a baseball cap.
Tip: Also a great couple costume if your lady friend has a pink dress and a uni-brow.
5. Army Pants and Flip-Flops Girl from Mean Girls
From Your Closet: Army pants and flip-flops.
If anyone asks what you are, just say:
6. Francine from Arthur
From Your Closet: Red sweatshirt, jeans, and red chucks.
You Might Have To Get: A couple yellow barrettes, unless you already rock those.
7. Sporty Spice
From Your Closet: Sports bra, track pants, and sneakers. Bonus points if you already have the armband tattoo.
It’s never out of style to spice up your life!
8. Katniss Everdeen
From Your Closet: Cargo pants, dark v-neck, combat boots, and brown leather jacket (if you have one).
You Might Have To Get: Bow, arrows, and the ability to kick-ass.
9. John Bender AKA “The Criminal”
From Your Closet: White t-shirt, red flannel, jean jacket, grey jeans, and black boots. It’s also a great touch to cut the fingers off an old pair of gloves.
Optional Accessories: Molly Ringwald and a bad attitude.
10. Pillow Princess
From Your (Linen) Closet: An old pillowcase and tiara.
Instructions: Cut a hole in the pillowcase for your arms and legs. Then, place the tiara on your head. For added length, use a body pillowcase.
Tip: Don’t tell your girlfriend you are going as her.
If all else fails, paint yourself a deep blue and go as an Indigo Girl.