I am not a very good friend. I tend to throw myself into my work and my relationships, so I don’t have much time left for my friends. I want to spend more time with them, but I have a hard time slowing down. I forget to even talk to anyone most of the time (sorry!).

There are so many things that I really need to get better about saying to them. They’ve helped me through some really rough patches since we’ve been friends, as all besties do, and sometimes I forget to thank them for just being there for me – even if I only need them part-time.

If you’ve forgotten to say these 12 things, too, it’s time you told your best friends how much they mean to you.

1. Thank you for reading my weird drunken texts.

I have this really bad habit of texting my besties when I’m drunk. Obviously, it’s good that I remember to talk to them, but when I drink, I go straight from “soft buzz” to “can’t text in proper English” – real quick. Since I’m normally so easy to communicate with, I know it makes no friggin’ sense when suddenly my texts look like the puppy sat on my phone.

Friends, thank you for deciphering my coded messages. And thank you for pretending to understand me.

2. Thank you for not judging me.

Whether it’s because of the above-mentioned texts or because I’ve gotten too pudgy for my favorite jeans, thank you for acting like I’m the picture of perfection. I appreciate knowing that you don’t judge me for the things I do, and for reminding me that “no judgment” is not the same as “no getting called on my crap”.

Friends, thank you for letting me be myself.

3. Thank you for being brutally honest with me.

One of my best friends cared enough to tell me that I had gained some weight since the last time she saw me. Like, a lot of weight. Like none of my clothes fit, except my skirts and my leggings – and even that’s debatable. I was in denial pretty bad, but my bestie would have none of it. “You’re getting so fat!” she tells me. “What happened?!” Of course, she was all compliments when I was losing the weight, but that’s how I know the bad stuff wasn’t meant to be mean.

Friends, thank you for telling me the truth even when I don’t want to hear it.

4. Thank you for thinking my exes are gross.

Okay, so this wasn’t so great when we were together, but my besties are the first ones to tell me how happy they are that I’m not with so-and-so anymore. (There are a few examples, so I’ll just leave that one blank.) And other than that one bestie who likes that one ex’s boobs (you both know who you are), I know they wouldn’t do anything to make me wonder where their loyalties are.

Friends, thank you for taking my side.

5. Thank you for protecting me from myself.

I tend to be a really self-destructive person sometimes, whether intentionally or through circumstance. My best friends have, at times, had to step in and be my voice of reason. They’ve stopped me from numerous bad choices, and I anticipate they will well into the future. (It might work a little better if I listened a little better, but what can I say – I’m a little self-destructive.)

Friends, thank you for trying to pass on your wisdom when it’ll help.

6. Thank you for not forgetting about me.

I get so wrapped up in work sometimes that I forget to even eat. Add a live-in relationship to that and you’ve basically got me forgetting about everyone who I don’t physically see every day. I actually went to text my brother – the one who lives ten minutes away from me – the other day, and realized I hadn’t texted him since October. Oops. It’s even worse with my friends – apparently I forgot to tell one bestie that I moved out of the county until six months later. Whoops!

Friends, thank you for knowing I’m thinking about you, even if I forget to say so.

7. Thank you for letting me talk about me.

I think I’m a bad friend. I don’t remember to check in a lot, so I pretty much only text my friends if I have something very specific to talk to them about – advice I need, help I want, or anything else. I ask a lot from my friends – because I’m waiting for them to ask for something from me. I’d do anything in my power to help a friend if they asked, but if I text them first, I’m probably asking for something. (Sorry!)

Friends, thank you for knowing I’m here for you if you need me – even when I don’t offer.

8. Thank you for randomly visiting me.

Okay, so it doesn’t happen as much now that I live in the middle of nowhere, but when I lived in the city, it would make my whole day when a friend came over to see me. One bestie came to visit me from almost five hours away! Even though it was a stop on a longer trip, that is so special – since I don’t drive myself, it’s nice to feel remembered (and I’ve always got an empty couch).

Friends, thank you for surprising me with forced socialization.

9. Thank you for coffee and sushi and anything else you’ve ever bought me, ever.

I’ve never been particularly well-off. I’ve had a few stints with “not being broke”, but that’s not really the same thing – I’m still paycheck to paycheck. For the friends who have picked me up and taken me out to eat, knowing I couldn’t afford to pay my own way – or that one bestie who loaned me $20 for my phone bill – or the friend who loaned me enough money to stock up on cold medicine – it’s all appreciated, and all counts as good karma.

Friends, thank you for not holding me to every cent I ever borrowed from you. (But I promise I’m going to pay it back eventually.)

10. Thank you for letting me have your hand-me-down hoodies.

Is there this unwritten rule somewhere that someone else’s sweatshirt is always more comfortable? Looking through my closet, I’ve got exactly three favorite hooded sweatshirts: One from my lifelong bestie, one from an ex-girlfriend, and one that technically still belongs to my current partner. I’ve got t-shirts from friends, and friends who have my old clothes – and I know we’ll end up trading back eventually.

Friends, thank you for letting me hold yearly swap meets in your wardrobe.

11. Thank you for extending your couch to me.

Fun fact: If it wasn’t for one of my best friends’ couches, I probably wouldn’t have left my abusive ex. If it wasn’t for another friend’s spare bed, I would have been homeless (twice now). I haven’t always been steady on my feet, and my best friends have had to bail me out more than I’d care to admit. Now that I have a little space of my own, I’d be happy to do the same – but my friends don’t seem to make the same bad decisions I do.

Friends, thank you for saving me from the holes I couldn’t get myself out of.

12. Thank you for being my best friend.

In everything we do, we tend to forget to thank the people who helped to make it possible. I know I wouldn’t be where I am today if I didn’t have friends pushing me to do well in life. I know I’m not always the greatest friend, but you guys are. They say you can’t pick your family – but I disagree. You guys are all the best to me, and I love every last one of you!

Friends, thank you for being you.

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