I think we’ve all had that moment of revelation in our relationships where we realize that our sex lives aren’t what they used to be. At the start of a relationship (or at least the start of the sexual aspect), we get aroused with very little provocation.
After you’ve been together for a while, you might forget that sex actually takes some effort sometimes. While costumes and roleplaying don’t work for everyone, most people enjoy their partner playing to their fantasies.
But what if neither of you knows what your fantasy is? Here are a few of our favorites – which ones work for you?
Boss and Secretary
This is one of the most universal fantasies out there – no matter which role you personally want to be. The idea of actually having sex with your boss is pretty taboo (and could end up getting both of you fired, in some cases), but there’s no shame or risk with playing this one out with your long-term partner.
Picture the scene: Your “boss” asks you to work late – and maybe unbutton the top few buttons of your shirt. If you’ve got a desk (or otherwise suitable flat surface), this is a perfect excuse to shove all those papers to the floor and get to the real work. (Note: As a self-professed workaholic, any actual work papers are probably better neatly stacked before you’re ready to get to play time… But maybe that’s just me.)
This one is fun, because it plays on power, control, and the taboo. If you’ve got some cute professional attire (and sexy shoes, of course), this is a great time to pull them out. Just be careful not to ruin them if you actually wear these things to work – maybe buy an inexpensive button-up shirt specifically so your partner can rip it off and give your nipples some attention!
Cop and Criminal
There aren’t too many roleplaying scenarios where both people have an implied sense of power, but the cop and criminal scenario meets this qualification. The Criminal will be a total bad-ass who DGAF about being caught. Bank robber, drug dealer, whatever backstory you want. If you’re into some really weird stuff, I’ve heard some people are aroused by the idea of serial killers – it’s not my thing, but if it’s your thing, feel free to play it up.
The Cop should, of course, have a nightstick (or suitable fill-in) for spanking, and a pair of handcuffs – this is how she’ll regain control over the situation. Naturally, the power play will probably shift back and forth – will the cop turn dirty in every sense of the word? You never know until you try it!
This one might work best with some costumes, but if you’ve got a good imagination, they aren’t necessary – they’re just going to come off soon anyway! And don’t forget – the Cop should definitely frisk the criminal… And give a full cavity search. You know. Just to be sure.
Stranger and Stranger
This one works best if you can rent a motel room for the night – but that’s not a necessary step, just an added bonus. The two of you will meet up at a bar (whether it’s a real bar or just your kitchen counter is entirely up to you) and start flirting. One of you is leaving soon, never to return – this is your only chance for wild, passionate sex! But in this scenario, there’s no risk of attachment to this sexy stranger… Because her “character” can be gone as soon as you want it to be, and she can return later if the mood calls for it.
This is your chance to be a sexy, alluring persona – change your name, wear a wig, be someone else… Whatever that means for you. Maybe you already feel sexy, and that’s wonderful – but this is a chance to play with extra sensuality and confidence that you might not be able to otherwise. Give it a shot – see if your Sexy Stranger Tryst works out!
(And if it doesn’t work, at least you never have to see this stranger again… Wink wink!)
Professor and Student
If you were a teacher’s pet growing up, it’s likely that turned into a little bit of a crush at some point. Of course, it’s entirely unethical to actually sleep with one of your professors, but that doesn’t mean you can’t play around with the idea. Whether you want the Catholic schoolgirl thing, the nerdy girl thing, or even a cheerleader, this is your chance to play around with a dynamic that’s pretty sexy to most people.
This scenario is a bit weird for some, especially once you factor in the inherent weirdness of sexualizing young girls (the Catholic schoolgirl thing), but we think it’s just harmless fun as long as you’re only participating in this fantasy with your partner. Please don’t actually sexualize young girls – this is dangerous to society as a whole, because creeps will actually leer at girls in uniform as if they weren’t really girls. There’s enough sexualization that women will face as they grow up, let’s not start it before they’ve even gone through puberty.
Repairwoman and Lonely Housewife
This is one that’s been done a million times in porn: The lonely housewife calls a plumber, an electrician, or a contractor over to fix something and, in the end, ends up getting more attention than whatever the problem was. Just because it’s cliché doesn’t make it any less fun though – and it’s not hard to find a sexy worker outfit. (If you’re into the French maid fetish, this can easily be subbed in here, too.)
This is one where the costume is almost required… For one of you. You’ll be in a sexy work uniform, whether it’s intentionally sexualized or just sexualized by implication, and obviously completely irresistible to the neglected housewife who’s been home alone for far too long and simply can’t keep her eyes (or hands) off you…
Personal Trainer and Client
Picture it: You’re both in sweatpants and a sports bra (one of my personal favorite aesthetics, not even gonna lie here) and one of you is pushing the other to sweat. Obviously, if the two of you are already pretty athletic, this one is almost implied. It’s also a good excuse to wear cute tennis skirts, basketball shorts with a tank top (another “bummy” aesthetic I enjoy), or really, any type of athletic attire.
The important thing here is that the trainer is the one in charge. And, in a way, you’re “paying” her into whipping you into shape – why not combine everyone’s favorite cardio with your routine?
(If you do it right, it’s also a great excuse to work out with each other… This might be a fun way for two less-athletic women to help each other get into shape.)
Director and Actor
I’m not sure if you’re all aware of “Casting Couch” interviews, or the huge porn genre dedicated to this type of thing, but… It’s been verified that actresses (and, less often, actors) will trade sexual favors for roles that promise fame and fortune. While the actual Hollywood practice is greatly frowned upon and largely denied, that doesn’t mean that you can’t put it into a positive spin and use it in your bedroom or living room (I like living room sex… But maybe that’s just me.)
Whether you have actual aspirations for acting or just want something fun and spicy to add to your sexual routine, the Director and Actor scenario will help play on the favors exchanged in this type of situation. Maybe you mix it up and the Director gives the Actress sexual favors to get her for her movie, or maybe the Actress gives the sexual favors in order to secure her spot. Either way, this one is sure to be a hit!
Delivery Person and Hungry Host Who Lost Her Wallet
Oh no – you lost your wallet right before the pizza delivery driver showed up, and now you have no way to pay! How are you ever going to make it worth her while for driving all the way over? Easy: Give her something to eat, too! (Now that I’m reading that, it sounds a little cheesy, but isn’t all roleplaying a little cheesy?)
This one is great because it requires very little planning, and – if you actually do bring along a pizza or Chinese food or whatever take-out you choose to “play” with, you’ve got an excuse for naked dinner. Hey – it might not work for everyone, but if it works for you, make it work! (Note: You should probably not fill up on Naked Dinner until after you’ve had your fun – full stomachs are not sexy, and you’re more likely to want a nap than an orgasm.)
MILF and Sexy Babysitter
This one is great if you’re feeling a little blah about not being a nubile 18-year-old anymore. With a little imagination, you can turn yourself into anyone – even a teenager. This one also works out pretty well if one of you has a “cougar fetish” and your partner isn’t actually that much older than you. Thankfully, this one doesn’t imply a costume, either, and there isn’t much to an actual “part” required for either of you.
This one is especially helpful if you’ve fallen into a slump after having a child of your own, as it lets both of you turn your already-present “caregiver” roles into something sexy. When we start our families, it can be tough to separate yourself as parents of your child(ren) and also lovers to each other. The MILF and Babysitter scenario gives balance between the two. (But please, don’t act this one out in front of your kids.)
Masseuse and Client
This happens to be my own personal favorite with my partner, but that’s mostly because massages turn me on, and rubbing me down turns her on. Let’s be realistic here… Most people have dreamed about the “happy endings” that we hear about from massage parlors, but most places don’t actually allow their masseuses to act like that (since, technically, it’s a form of prostitution). However you feel personally about the criminalization of prostitution, the Masseuse and Client scenario lets you explore that option without any risks.
As an added bonus, it’s scientifically proven that most women respond better to sexual attention if they’re in a place of peace, and massages are a surefire way to relax. With a bit of practice, both you and your partner can learn to give great massages, and with the huge variety of oils and lotions available, there’s a never-ending list of options you can have. Personally, I have a lavender-almond massage oil that is absolutely dreamy – feel free to experiment to see what works best for you!
(Note: Most massage oils and lotions are not safe to use as lube, so manual penetration with this technique isn’t a good idea unless you have a massage oil that specifically states it can also be used as personal lubricant. Make sure you read your labels!)
Prisoner and Prisoner
I probably don’t even need to explain this one – we’ve all seen Orange is the New Black, Wentworth, Bad Girls, and this scene from The L Word, after all. While actual prison life is probably nothing like we see on TV (I don’t know anyone in a women’s prison, but I do have a brother who’s been locked up for almost 20 years), there’s just something sexy about the idea of bad girls getting it on.
It’s also another fun way to turn the boring, bummy aesthetic into something sexy – reclaim your sweat pants! No one said you’ve got to be stylish to be sexy, my friends, and women’s prison sex (and roleplays in kind) should be all the proof you need. Pull out those sweatpants and ripped tank tops – this is their time to shine.
Lesbian and Straight Girl
Most of us have had straight girl crushes before, and there’s just something so undeniably sexy about the “innocence” they represent. But, we all know how messy these crushes can be, and how frustrating it sometimes is when you have to teach someone how to seduce you. The easy answer? Hook up with your favorite woman who already loves women and just pretend that one of you is straight!
Most likely, you remember your first time, at least in a general sense, so you can easily use this innocent time to relive the fun and excitement of your first time with someone more experienced than you. If you’d rather, you can pretend that you’re both curious straight girls, and just explore each other’s bodies as if it was your first time all around. No matter which direction you take it, this one is sure to be a sexy romp.
Man and Woman
Okay, so this is one that’s personally a little weird for me, but I know there are some who are into gender play, and why not? There are no real rules in sex (aside from “make damn sure you have permission”) and nothing is off-limits between consenting adults. What’s even better is that this one is easily done with a strap-on – no further costumes necessary. Simply step in, strap in, and get to work. If you find you don’t like it, just don’t do it again – but if you do, there’s nothing to lose.
While many of these things are considered fantasies, it’s important to realize the difference between roleplaying and actually acting out these things – and to ensure that your own desires aren’t blurring the lines any. It also should go without saying that none of these scenarios is intended to imply consent. If your partner isn’t okay with the idea of roleplaying, it’s off the table. Furthermore, you should probably not try to pursue most of these with the person who actually fills the “opposite role” – this is just a little fun for consenting adults. And don’t forget to be safe!