Compatibility is a really weird thing. Sometimes the people we think will be perfect for us end up being the worst people to have in our lives. It’s really not their fault, either, nor is it exactly ours. Instinctively, we go off first impressions, when logically, there are other important things to worry about.
Do you want to cut through all that small talk and figure out if your new boo is going to be your girlfriend? Ask her these 40 questions and see how she does.
1) What’s your go-to movie choice?
If I ask you what you want to watch, and you throw the decision back at me, we’re going to be here forever.
2) How do you feel about burping and farting in front of each other?
Because I’m not always going to pretend I never do it – but for the first year, minimum.
3) Which side of the bed is yours?
If your “side” is the middle, this isn’t going to work out.
4) Puppies or kittens?
Really, there’s no such thing as a wrong answer here, but the first choice is definitely both.
5) Do you leave almost-empty containers of things?
I’m convinced there is no bigger relationship crime than leaving a half a glass of juice in the carton, except maybe leaving just the end piece to the bread.
6) How do you feel about timeliness?
Because if you tell me you’re five minutes away, in twenty minutes I’m done waiting for you. Not saying you have to be on time – but don’t lie about it!
7) If we travel, will you give me the window seat or the aisle seat?
Note: I am not keen on being trapped against a wall.
8) Do you have posters in your room?
It’s a little juvenile, but I can get on board with artistic expression – as long as they have frames.
8 ½) What’s on these posters?
If it’s not velvet and colored with neon markers, I’m not sure if I’m on board.
9) What’s your bed sheet situation?
I’m not a picky girl – I don’t need them to be made of 4,000-threadcount Egyptian cotton, or velvet, or pearlescent red satin. They don’t even have to match, for all I care. But they should be clean and covering the mattress at all times.
10) How crazy are your socks?
I love crazy socks – fuzzy ones with stripes, ones with Spiderman on them… I’ve even got a pair with individual toes, but they make my feet claustrophobic so I don’t wear them. I’m cool with white socks or black socks, but I can’t get on board with a partner whose socks don’t match!
10 ½) Are they clean, every day?
I might be a little crazy obsessive about socks, but… You’re not supposed to wear them more than once between washes. If you take them off to have a shower, this is an occasion to change them. Don’t make me get even weirder about it.
11) How tidy are you?
I’m not trying to clean up after you, but I’m also not trying to hear any guff if I don’t put the laundry away right away. Can you get on board with that?
12) When is your birthday?
I want to be sure that all my major gift-giving (birthday, anniversary, Christmas) are far enough apart for my bank account to recover. (Even though I’m totally going to buy you things more often than I can afford anyway.)
13) What’s your favorite musical artist or group?
No, really – I want to know if I can geek out with you or if you’ll be recommending me new stuff.
14) Socks and sandals – ever appropriate?
Obviously, the answer here is “never”.
15) How about feet? Anything weird there?
I’m not one to judge, but you most certainly won’t be putting your feet anywhere near me – and if you think I’m touching yours, you’re insane.
16) What’s your e-mail address?
We’re grown-ups now – your e-mail address should reflect that somehow. Maybe just your name?
17) Do you have any talents?
I’m not going to lie – art and music will totally win me over. Sports are cool, but not really my thing. Writing probably won’t impress me, unless you’re better than I am (and then I’ll probably just be jealous).
18) What cell phone do you use?
It’s probably not the same as mine – but I’m hoping it’s not an iPhone.
19) Do you sing in the shower?
I love singing in the shower, but I will never do it while you’re home. I do, however, expect to hear you sing to me sometimes.
20) Do you leave your clothes on the bathroom floor?
The only time this is acceptable is when you’re still in the bathroom. Once you leave, so do your dirty underwear – no exceptions.
21) What’s your go-to when we go out to eat?
Does it involve bacon? Please say it involves bacon.
22) Would you send your food back if it wasn’t as good as you hoped?
Please don’t be that guy – I’ll never go out to eat with you again.
23) Do you tip at restaurants?
Okay, technically it’s “optional”, but it’s kinda rude not to do it, unless you’re at a buffet or a coffee shop. (Even then, you should probably throw down a dollar or two.)
24) How frequently do you use emojis?
Because I love emojis! But I don’t do all that hidden meaning stuff, and I’ll be really confused if you do.
25) What’s your living situation like?
Do you live alone? With roommates? With parents? With your ex? Most of these aren’t necessarily deal breakers… But there are boundaries.
26) How healthy do you eat?
I’m aiming for like 80% of the time. More than that and I’ll feel inadequate, but less than that and I’ll probably question your life choices.
27) How attached do you get?
I don’t do “flings”, but I’m not looking for a shadow, either.
28) What sort of shows do you like to watch on television?
I’m really into Pretty Little Liars, or anything with zombies and/or lesbians. Is it going to work out?
28 ½) If we commit to watching a show together, what are the odds of you watching it without me?
Because I’m pretty sure this is considered unfaithfulness.
28 ¾) How many episodes are you willing to watch in a single sitting?
Because I’ve always been an overachiever. Go big or go home.
29) Would you take care of me when I’m sick?
To be clear, I won’t let you – but you should at least offer.
30) Would you save me the last candy in the pack?
Usually I’ll let you take it anyway – but I like to know I have my options.
31) Do you play Facebook games?
I’ve played a few – but if it’s an everyday thing, we might need to part now.
31 ½) Have you ever sent a game invite on purpose?
If you do… Just no.
31 ¾) Are you going to try and compete against me?
Because I’m not very good at losing. I may cry. And then you’ll feel bad.
32) Do you watch animated movies?
I’m not talking like every movie, especially while we’re still waiting for Elsa to be “proven gay”. But if you won’t watch them at all… This probably isn’t gonna work out.
33) Will you judge me for my “eclectic” musical tastes?
I’m talking everything from Backstreet Boys to Metallica to Joe Diffie – I need to know that you’ll let me steal the auxiliary cord, too.
34) Do you talk to homeless people?
I’m not talking about just making something up about not having any change, I mean actually talk to them. Everyone deserves a little compassion, you know.
34 ½) Would you buy a meal for a homeless person if they asked?
Because I have before, and I’d do it again.
35) How do you feel about sharing clothes?
And by “sharing clothes”, I mean, “I get to wear your clothes – especially the hoodies, those are mine now.”
36) Have you ever argued with a stranger on the internet?
If you have a story, I definitely want to hear it. And if you say no, you’re probably a liar.
37) Are there any exes I need to worry about?
I’m not talking exes of the Ramona Flowers variety, but… Do I need to unlist my phone number?
38) Have you ever been kicked out of a movie theater?
I deserve to know why, and when, to decide if I support the cause or not.
39) Would you write me cute messages in the condensation on glass?
Because I’ll probably draw hearts on your windshield, and I’d expect you to do the same in my bathroom mirror.
40) Wait… We are going on a second date, right?
And if we are, are you going to be able to answer 40 more questions after that?