We can all use some fresh ideas to spice up our love lives. So, here are 5 approaches I found useful


Surprise a lover with a new experience

New experiences energise us. Sharing them increases intimacy, making hot sex more likely. So rent an erotic film, plan a trip somewhere romantic, or organise a couples massage.


Use role-play to engage your imagination.

People find it invigorating to become someone else for a moment, to act in ways they normally wouldn’t. It can be exciting to do things that you may have only dreamed about.  Role-playing can give you the freedom and the permission to act out in ways that are out of character.


Plan a trip to a sex-related entertainment destination

Visit a burlesque club, see a stripe club show, or visit a fetish club. Go with an open mind and make sure you stay long enough to make that initial uncomfortable anxiety disappear.


Read an erotic story

Find a new book that is written about sexual experiences you have not yet experienced. When you have done so, write out a fantasy or two of your own.

Spending time examining the experiences of others can give us saucy new ideas. Some of the things we read will bore us, others might make us cringe, but usually there will be something that captures the imagination and gets our own creative juices flowing.

Note: When writing, remember that you are doing this for yourself, so don’t spend too much time obsessing about how well you are writing, how good your grammar is or if your spelling is diabolical. You can worry about all of this if you decide you are going to share what you write with others.


Visit a sexy lingerie shop or a sex shop

Push yourself out of your comfort zone and actually ask the sales staff about the toys you have never even considered looking at in the past. Looking online is not the same, as you cannot interact with others directly and actually see and touch the toys (and learn how to use them). If you are too embarrassed to go on your own, consider going with your lover or a really close friend.

Finally, enjoy yourself

Take the time to make the most of all aspects of your life. You deserve to have an electrifying sex life, and you can create one with some courage, imagination and persistence.

 

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