One of the most common stereotypes in the lesbian community is that we have sex with all our friends.
Okay, I’ll admit, this is true for some of my friends – and in high school, I was that girl who tried to seduce the majority of my female friends, “just to say that I could”. Thankfully, they were all pretty cool about it – the friends who I shot down as well as the friends who shot me down. Hey, I might be cocky and overconfident, but no means no.
Looking back, if I had more female friends before I “settled down” (aka “got old”), I probably would have liked to sleep with some of them – and not just to say that I had. (Side note – if you do sleep with your best friend, you probably shouldn’t tell your other friends that you did. Just saying.)
Here are my top 6 reasons why having sex with your best friend wouldn’t be the worst thing in the world.
1. She probably knows you better than you know yourself.
Some women like to be enigmatic, and that can be great when you’re trying to seduce a new boo. But your bestie probably sees straight through it because she knows you like the back of her hand. And if she can predict the invisible parts of you so well – just imagine what she’ll be able to do with your body!
2. She’s probably seen you naked already anyway.
Okay, so not everyone is comfortable with nudity in front of others, especially “platonic” others. I’m the sort of person who still turns away when I’m changing – and I’ve been with the same woman for about two years now. Just sometimes, though, we allow our best friends to see parts of us that the rest of the world doesn’t get to see.
Surely sometimes these things are metaphorical, such as those repressed memories from your childhood that you’d never tell anyone, ever – except your best friend, of course. Other times, this can have a very literal translation. Since we don’t see our friends like that, it can be easier for us to get undressed in front of them – thus allowing a familiarity with each other’s bodies that the rest of your friends don’t have to know about.
3. You share everything else!
You guys already share clothes, friends, and the same crazy stories that makes the rest of your circle think you’re nuts – why not share a bit of time together satisfying a mutual need?
4. You’ll wonder “what if” if you don’t.
This one might not be true for everyone, but certainly, if you have any question in your mind of what it would be like to sleep with your best friend (which I’m sure you do based on the fact that you’re reading this post) – those questions won’t usually go away on their own.
Let me take you back to my history a little bit: 18 years old, I had a friend I’d known for my entire life. I’m not going to lie, she was hot. One day, I made a move – and we ended up dating, briefly. It didn’t last long due to huge differences in our core values, but I strongly believe that I’d still be wondering today if I hadn’t ever acted on it.
Another friend in question – my male best friend – offered a similar mystery. I had long identified as a lesbian before we even met, but I went through a period of time where I questioned myself – and he seemed like the most likely answer to my “problems”.
We ended up talking about it and deciding it wasn’t worth the risk, but I still joke regularly that “if I was going to be with a guy, it would be him.” Technically I never acted on this impulse, but being able to talk it over made it easier to work through my feelings.
5. Because you’re only young once.
Life is about making mistakes – and let’s not get it confused, having sex with your best friend definitely has the potential to be a mistake. In most cases, however, you can move past these mistakes – and if you can’t, were they really your best friend to begin with?
6. Because she might be the love of your life.
Okay, maybe this is just me being a hopeless romantic – but I do believe that people come into our lives for a reason. In the case of “best friends”, it can be tough to decide exactly where she fits into your life. Surely, you shouldn’t try to pursue a sexual relationship with her if there’s no attraction, but if you’re both feeling the butterflies, it might be worthwhile to explore.
This list won’t be true for everyone, and it won’t be true of all of your best friends, but if you’re already thinking about it anyway, you should bring it up to her!
It might make things a little bit awkward for awhile, but if she’s a true bestie, she won’t drop you for wondering. You might as well see if there’s a chance, right?