7 Products That Will Change Your Sex Life Forever

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For the longest time, I was strongly against using any “products” in the bedroom. I’ve always been a skin-to-skin type of woman, and it felt like using outside help was… I don’t know, cheating somehow?

As I grew up a little more, though, I realized that sex toys were to enhance the experience you have with a partner, not necessarily because your partner isn’t doing a good enough job, but because better sex is (usually) a great thing. With that, here are the 7 products that you should buy as soon as you’re able to and use as often as your heart desires.

1. A blindfold or eye mask.

I’m not sure if it’s true for everyone, but being blindfolded was pretty much my first introduction into “kinky sex”. Sure, being blindfolded isn’t what we really think of when we’re talking about bondage, but the element of surprise is important to satisfying sexual activity – and a blindfold adds in a little mystery by upping the anticipation. You can’t see what your partner is doing, only feel it – which makes for a really sexy activity.

Your blindfold or eye mask doesn’t have to be fancy, but it should be comfortable. Opt for silkier materials, and a double strap if possible. There are super inexpensive options available pretty much everywhere (seriously – my local dollar store has them on a regular basis), or you can opt for a more expensive, more padded, more comfortable option once your budget allows for it.

2. Bondage tape.

While we’re at it, you might as well invest in some bondage tape, or another means of binding your partner. After all, that’s where the bondage part of bondage actually comes from. Binding your partner requires an insane amount of trust, since she won’t easily be able to free herself, but it also adds an extra level of sensuality because she also won’t be able to stop you at just one orgasm.

Bondage tape, specifically, is great because it only sticks to itself – meaning it’s not going to yank out those baby-fine arm hairs or unshaven leg hairs. It doesn’t irritate your wrists and ankles as much as handcuffs, and it’s often cheaper than handcuffs, too. Of course, you’ll have to buy more when the roll runs out, or you can opt for a silky scarf or necktie if you’re in a pinch. Just make sure you don’t tighten the knots too much – replacing a scarf or tie every time can get pretty expensive, pretty fast.

3. Proper lubricant.

I know what you’re probably thinking – only old ladies and gay men need lubricant. That’s actually not true at all. While lubricant is most known for adding moisture somewhere moisture isn’t normally present, many modern lubes contain arousal-enhancing gels which make your body produce more natural moisture. Plus, they come in great scents, flavors, and – for the extra brave – different feelings. (Some people are sensitive to the chemicals used to create the tingling sensations, but that doesn’t make them any less popular among those who aren’t sensitive to them.)

Please note that there really is no substitute for a good lubricant. They’re not as expensive as you might think, and there are all different types for all different tastes. Take care not to use silicone or oil-based lubricants with condoms or silicone sex toys, though – they can break down the materials and make a mess of things. When in doubt, water-based lubricants are usually the best choice, but the other types can be used with any non-silicone sex toys. Ask your local adult novelty shop for more information if you need help deciding.

4. A high-quality massage oil or butter.

First and foremost, please note that massage oil is not the same thing as lubricant, and is not intended to be used as such. Rather, massage oils and butters are designed for sensual massages, which is one of my personal favorite forms of foreplay. Some massage oils are flavored or scented (look for ones that say “kissable” if you plan to let your mouth in on the action), and others create tingling, warming, or cooling sensations. Be advised that some people may be sensitive to the products used in a particular oil or butter, so don’t swear them off completely if you’ve had a bad reaction to one.

If money is tight (or you’re just too shy to go to the adult store), baby oils and lotions make a great massage add-in. They’re specifically designed for baby’s sensitive skin, so the risk of aggravating skin sensitivities is very, very low. If you and your partner enjoy aromatherapy, you can even mix in some essential oils to add your own unique scents. Just make sure that you’re using skin-safe oils, and remember that mineral oil will cause some digestive issues if you ingest too much.

5. Unlubricated condoms.

If it seems weird to see condoms listed here, on a site dedicated to women who love other women, but let me explain. Barrier methods are the most common form of safer sex, and they’re available just about everywhere. Unfortunately, dental dams aren’t as easy to find as condoms are, but you can easily turn an unlubricated condom into a dental dam with just a few cuts. You may even be able to find condoms with interesting textures to add to your romps – just make sure that the textured side is facing the receiving partner.

More than just dental dams, though, condoms are great for anyone who performs penetrative sex, especially with toys. They often stretch much larger than you’d expect (have you ever tried filling a condom with water?) and they make clean-up super simple. Plus, believe it or not, you can get STDs from sharing a sex toy with your same-sex partner – so stock up on the condoms and change them every single time.

6. Sex pillows and/or wedges.

It actually wasn’t until pretty recently that I learned that sex pillows are totally a thing. Propping yourself up during sex is the key to hitting all those extra-special positions, and regular bed pillows tend to fall flat even under an arched back. Sex pillows are much firmer, though, and wedges put you at a perfect incline to watch your partner go to work. Some are even discrete enough to store on your bed when not in use – even if you regularly have company over.

When choosing a wedge, in particular, you should look for one that has sides of different lengths. That will let you get the most angles out of a single purchase. Of course, the perfect pillow or wedge for you is a matter of opinion, and for some people, an extra-firm bed pillow might actually be the best choice. That’s fine, too. The important thing is that you switch up the angles a bit – 90 and 180 degrees are not the only options.

7. A good vibrator.

For some women, a vibrator is a complete no-go. The vibrations can be a bit strong for some, especially when used improperly. But for those who enjoy the vibrations, the difference is incredible. The Hitachi Magic Wand is a classic, and for good reason, but it’s also pretty loud and indiscrete. (Then again, when the sex is good, the noise is usually covered by your own noises, but that’s another story entirely.)

If you need something quieter, cheaper, or more versatile, mini bullet vibes are a great option. Some penetrative toys have room to insert a bullet vibrator for added stimulation, and you can even slip them under your underwear for some extra-naughty fun. Be advised, though, that they often require batteries to run, and the power will be inconsistent when the batteries drain. Also, you’ll want to stock up on batteries ahead of time, because there isn’t usually any warning before they start to go low. (The original Magic Wand, as described above, comes with a wall plug to prevent this problem.)

What sex products do you recommend?

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