Author Archives: Gemma Middleton

About Gemma Middleton

I'm a writer, film maker, producer and a self believer. I live with my girlfriend and two children in Valencia, Spain and I write as I live my life. With passion, honesty and full of fun.

How To Deal With Homophobia

Homophobia has been around forever and it doesn’t look like it’s going to go away anytime soon, especially as Trump and Pence are the epitome of hatred, but we have a duty to ourselves and our fellow LGBTQ community to do something about it.

We obviously can’t put ourselves in danger at any time and if you are a bit feisty it can be hard not to challenge any homophobe head on, but there are safer and better ways of dealing with it. For example, if you are in a bar or a club and you experience homophobia simply walk away and report it. Demand that the management deal with it. Tell them that you are feeling uncomfortable and have been verbally abused by one of their patrons.

If they seem reluctant to do anything about it, then say you are quite happy to contact the police. Most establishments don’t want that kind of reputation and you will probably find that they will deal with the situation.

So what if you overhear someone else suffering homophobic abuse? Firstly, if it’s safe to do so, walk up to the person and tell them to come with you and remove them from the situation. That has to be the first priority, lead them away from danger. Then take them to the management and complain as suggested above. As hard as it is and as tempting as it is don’t retaliate with the homophobe as this could lead to violence and escalate the problem.

And if you witness a violent homophobic attack? You must phone the police. Immediately. If there are people around you could try to find help and support, but if not, stay back and don’t put yourself in the firing line as well.

This won’t help anybody and the police are quite quick at responding to emergency calls. Give as many details to the police as possible and wait in the side-lines for them to arrive. If the attackers flee then go to help the victim. Even a few words of comfort will help.

To do nothing is wrong, even though speaking out and getting help can be scary. If it was you getting the abuse, you would want someone to help you. Remember, silence is violence, so look out for each other and make sure homophobes learn they can’t get away with this behaviour, no matter what they think.

Why Hooking Up With Your Best Friend While On The Rebound Is A No No

When you’ve broken up with your boo the first person we usually turn to is our best friend.

She’s there to dry our tears, agree with us that your boo was a first rate bitch, she’ll binge watch romantic comedies with you and basically support you through the heartbreak. But what happens when our emotions confuse this support and care and we start to think of our best friend in another way?

After a break-up we do feel lonely, neglected and unwanted. It’s our best friends that fill the void in our hearts for the next few months.

We yearn for comfort and this is what we get. During this vulnerable period, it’s really easy to confuse friendship feelings for romantic feelings and our good judgement flies out the window quicker than a bar of chocolate flies into our stomachs.

The minute we start to think of our friends romantically the friendship boundaries get really murky. Does it mean we’ve become friends with benefits? Are we dating? Are there now things we can’t tell her as a friend because we’ve started having sex together?

These are just a few things that naturally goes through our heads when we blur friendship and romantic boundaries.

The biggest problem though is what happens to our friendship afterwards? Most rebound hook ups never last long term as we normally only have them to make ourselves feel better and to prove to ourselves we are worthy of love and affection.

But we can’t turn back time and we potentially run the risk of losing our best friend forever over something that could so easily have been avoided.

It’s true that some friendships can survive something like this and perhaps you and your best friend could be good together in a relationship, but even if this is the case, getting involved in a relationship when your heart has been split in two is no basis for a healthy, long term relationship anyway.

So if you find yourself in this situation and you are looking at your BFF in a different way since you split with your current boo, take a step back. Think of what you could lose if it all gets messy. Imagine the worst case scenario. You lose your best friend forever.

Perhaps in a few months when your heart as healed and you still have these feelings for your friend then there might well be something in it. But you will be looking at it with a clear mind and with your emotions in order.

Just think before you leap – it’ll be worth it in the long run.

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10 Struggles The Straightforward Girl Has To Cope With

If you are anything like me and speak your mind, are confident in your own decisions and are never backwards at coming forwards, then you are classed as being straightforward. People know that you mean what you say, you’re a no nonsense girl that is on top of stuff and you won’t tolerate any bull. But, as much as there are benefits to having that type of personality, there are also drawbacks as well.

For example, I can be quite acerbic and my sharp sense of humour and my occasional sarcasm does offend people sometimes. I don’t mean to, but it happens. Plus, to be completely honest, this doesn’t always worry me either. It’s a take me as I am attitude. I also find that some of my friends will rely on me a lot because they see me as being strong and able to cope. But that can get quite wearing.

So, for all you straightforward girls out there, what are our top 10 struggles?

Sometimes what you say is taken as bitchiness.

When you say exactly what is on your mind people often think you are being a nasty bitch. If someone is annoying the hell out of you, you aren’t afraid to let them know it. However, most people don’t like this openness and take it as a criticism or an insult, when in fact you are simply letting them know that they are bugging you and you’d like them to stop.

Your brain thinks it; your mouth speaks it.

This can be a real issue on occasion. For example, if you are in a situation where a bit of sensitivity is needed or you are talking to someone with opposing views to yours, not having a filter from our brain to our mouth can sometimes cause us problems.

You always tell the truth, no matter what.

Oh boy, can’t this be a problem sometimes? Some people simply don’t like the truth, but as far as your concerned why bother to ask the question if they don’t want an honest answer and what is the point in you lying to them? If a friend asks you if her new top looks good and you think it doesn’t you will till her as much. Not to hurt her feelings, but it’s what you think and you want her to look good. However, many people ask some questions such as this for you to make them feel better and unfortunately they are not going to get that from you unless you believe it to be true.

Annoying people seem to like you.

Loudmouths, gossips, troublemakers and aggressors all seem to be drawn to you like bees around a honeypot. They think your outspokenness makes you one of them and therefore you must think like them and behave like them, so they are eager to build friendships with you. Just because you say what you mean doesn’t mean to say you are a nasty or hurtful person.

You aren’t afraid of your boss.

It’s amazing how many bosses hate this. It’s as if they think their staff should be scared of them in order for them to exert control or authority over you. Many people are intimidated by their bosses and although you understand they are your superior and are in a position of power this doesn’t make you behave any differently towards them. If you have a boss on an ego trip that expects to be treated and spoken to like they are a demi god, it’s unlikely you will stay with the company for very long.

You automatically become the leader in situations.

This struggle gets very wearing sometimes. If you meet up with friends, they will have assumed that you have the whole night planned out for you all. If it’s someone’s birthday they will automatically put you in charge to organize something wonderful. Sometimes it would just be nice to go along with what has already been organized by someone else rather than having to take responsibility for everyone else’s fun on your own shoulders.

You’re extremely sarcastic

Straightforwardness and sarcasm seem to go hand in hand. As your brain is very sharp and your sense of humour is always in play you often make sarcastic comments about things that some people are never sure how to take. You can almost see their brains ticking as they try to work out if you were being funny or a complete bitch.

You won’t tolerate stupidity.

Most straightforward people are often very intelligent and well informed so if someone is saying something completely idiotic you have no patience in dealing with them. You are very likely to tell them they are saying something ridiculous or you will simply say nothing at all and blank them completely while looking at them with a face that says a thousand words!

People with no drive frustrate you.

As a very driven person you get very frustrated at people that seem to have no get up and go or ambition. You probably find that most of your friends are very similar to yourself and have a drive for success. When dealing with someone with little drive you are likely to want to stick a bomb up their jacksie and will not hesitate in telling them to shake themselves into action, and quickly.

You are very open.

You don’t have any problem being open and honest about your own life. You’d quite happily discuss your sex life or your partying habits or your latest problem with your partner, but some people don’t like this and get embarrassed with other people’s openness. You probably always wonder why people have a problem with openness, but it won’t make you stop. You’ll still continue to be open not matter what anyone else says.

10 Hilarious Pieces Of Lesbian Advice From Wikihow

Wikihow is one of the first websites to appear when searching for advice online but if any of you have ever read some of the advice (that often comes with really funny illustrations to accompany it) then you will know that it’s often completely wrong or so bizarre it is like someone from another planet wrote it.

Below are some of the funniest pieces of advice offered to lesbians, but just for the record, we suggest you do the exact opposite of what is suggested!

1. How to know if a girl is queer.

Look for obvious signs like meeting her at a LGBT rights dinner or her wearing a t-shirt that says ‘Lipstick Lesbian’ in her profile picture.”

Yep, as we all head off to those common and frequent LGBT rights dinner get-togethers you can keep your eyes open on the off chance a lesbian might be there. And agreed, the t-shirt is a good clue. If you travel back in time, like to around 1993.

2. Ask her about her boyfriend.

If you are shy, you can ask, ‘Are you here with your boyfriend?’ Hopefully, she will say, ‘No, I’m lesbian’ or at least just ‘no’ (which leaves open the possibility that she may be lesbian).”

Now, why didn’t we think of that one as we often say to complete strangers we have never met ‘I’m a lesbian’ when asked if we are with our boyfriends. Not forgetting that even if a girl says ‘no’ she might be a lesbian because we can’t presume the possibility that her boyfriend is at home or she’s currently single. We may need to warn our fellow hetero women she must never say she is not with her boyfriend or she may get inundated with lesbians wanting to date her.

3. Where are the lesbians hiding? In church, duh.

Attend faith-based activities. Many religious organizations host events specifically to offer LGBT members the opportunity to socialize in a safe setting. Check with your local faith-based agencies to find out what opportunities they might have for you to meet other lesbians.”

Ok, we could say something like this: ‘Hi vicar, are you hosting a lesbian hook-up I could attend please? Wikihow said you hold them.’

4. Make gay friends.

Get to know gay/lesbian friends! Even if you’re not interested in them they can be good contacts for meeting people.”

Yes, send out those ‘gay friends wanted’ ads everywhere, and don’t worry if they are cockwombles that you have nothing in common with. As long as they are gay that’s all that counts.

5. How to tell if your best friend a lesbian.

Consider her relationship history. A series of brief, noncommittal, or largely non-romantic relationships with men can indicate a lack of sexual interest in men….”

Yes, there’s no sure fire way of telling that someone is a lesbian and has no sexual interest in men by the very fact she sleeps with a lot of them.

Alternatively they could indicate some other dysfunction or dysphoria.”

Yes, because anyone who has a dysfunction is a lesbian. It’s a fact.

Try to recall if she has had a sustained interest in the opposite sex if you have known her throughout puberty. Patterns of behavior or avoidance can indicate preference far more clearly than stated preferences.”

If you are not her child psychologist or you don’t know him and are unable to find this out, don’t panic, we have more advice for you……

Approach your friend with openings that establish the confidence and safety of your discussion. Some starter ideas include ‘You know I’m your friend and you can tell me anything,’ ‘I think you might be keeping something from me, are you attracted to women?’ or ‘You can trust me with anything, and I think you haven’t been honest with yourself about your feelings for other women.’”

Nothing more guaranteed than ruining your relationship with your best friend by making these statements or asking these questions, I’m sure.

6. Have you heard of the internet?

If you aren’t already aware of any LGBT groups in your area, begin by searching the internet. Simply combine ‘LGBT,’ ‘groups,’ and the name of your city in the search box to get started.”

From this suggestion I got: suicide hotline numbers, PFLAG memberships and homeless youth centers, but zero girlfriends. Where are they??? Come out, come out, wherever you are…..

Try looking in the newspaper and the phone book for LGBT resources that may be able to point you in the right direction.”

Or you could try sending a telegram to 1985, order a lipstick lesbian t-shirt to wear to those LGBT rights dinners and lesbian hook-ups at your local church and you’ll find a girlfriend in no time.

7. Hitting the bars.

Bring a straight cute girl with you as your wingman. Make it clear that you are not together.”

Perhaps you could even get her to wear a t-shirt saying ‘lipstick lesbian sat next to me.’

8. Sealing the deal.

Exchange phone numbers with one girl per night. If you ask for numbers from several girls, others may think you are not serious dating material, and some may even find your behavior off-putting.”

Absolutely. Taking people’s phone numbers is a massive indication you are not good dating material. Personally, I’d be more concerned about all my possible dates that were stalking me to see I had been taking all these numbers.

9. Is she into you?

Pay attention to what she’s talking about. If she is sharing personal details about her life, this is another good indicator that she’s interested in you…”

Oh, definitely. If a woman tells you where she lives, her job and about her pets she’s definitely interested in you and not just making small talk.

Listen to the pitch of her voice. In a recent study, scientists discovered that attracted individuals of either gender lowered the pitch of their voices when speaking to the person to whom they were attracted.”

To do this, press your ear against her throat and try to detect a change in tone. If she doesn’t have you arrested or slap you hard, you might be onto a winner.

If you want to see her again, call to set up another date.”

That’s only if you are not still stuck in the 1900’s after going too far back in your time travel machine looking for those ‘lipstick lesbian’ t-shirt wearing potential girlfriends. If this is the case, you could try sending a carrier pigeon.

If she rejects you, do your best to take it gracefully. Tell her you wish her the best, and that you had a nice evening with her, but you respect her wishes. Then, tell her you have to get off the phone because you have some things to do.”

Hurry up off that phone and tell her you have better things to do. Like washing your hair. Or planning your revenge on her. You could ask her if she has a rabbit. And don’t forget to mention the respect. Especially if she has a rabbit.

10. Going all the way.

Ask her if she would be interested in being your girlfriend. After you have been going out for a while, and you feel comfortable with her, ask her what she thinks about having a more serious, committed relationship. Understand that she may say no, and try to be understanding. If she says yes, then it’s time to celebrate!”

If you have managed to find a girlfriend using these techniques I would ask her if she would mind having a psychological assessment before you ask her to commit to you. You might wish to get one done for yourself at the same time. And don’t wear your lipstick lesbian t-shirt to the appointment.

Is ‘Partner’ A Better Word Than ‘Girlfriend’ For Describing The Person You Are Romantically Involved With?

Girlfriend or boyfriend has always been used to describe our other halves, but sometimes members of the LGBTQ community are not comfortable with using these terms. It’s easy to understand why.

For example, girlfriend or boyfriend is the generic term for heterosexual couples to use for each other which implies a strict gender identity. Many people who identify as non-binary or genderqueer the terms boyfriend or girlfriend is a constant reminder that society only views gender as man or woman and there is no area in-between. It pushes trans people out of the romantic language completely.

That’s not comfortable for transgendered people so they tend to prefer the term partner which doesn’t identify a gender.

The other issue is what the word girlfriend or boyfriend implies. To heterosexual couples it simply means you are dating and in some kind of relationship, whether it is serious or not. But for lesbians that’s not so straightforward and it’s hard to explain to people outside of our own community.

For example, if you are in a casual fling, is the other girl your ‘girlfriend’? Are you ‘girlfriends’ if you occasionally hook up romantically but both agree not to date? In the case of lesbians and the complicated structures of our romantic status, the term girlfriend implies a relationship whereas the term partner doesn’t hold these connotations.

Another thing to consider is for those who are perhaps not out to everybody or are not comfortable telling people about their sexual identity. For example, using the word partner won’t bring unnecessary attention to your sexual orientation. When we meet someone for the first time it’s hard to tell if that person is homophobic and it might cause you problems if you out yourself to them straight away, especially if you are meeting new colleagues at work or are surrounded by a group of people you don’t know.

In situations like these, using the word partner can protect you in uncertain circumstances. Of course, some people don’t care what others think and will use the term girlfriend or boyfriend whomever they are talking to, but not everybody is comfortable doing this.

Some people in the LGBT community are very happy to use the term ‘girlfriend’ or ‘boyfriend’ and that’s fine. It is a case of what works best for the individual. But it seems that many of us are now using the word partner a lot more simply for the fact that it doesn’t imply things we don’t want it to imply and it’s a way of avoiding labelling, gender identity and homophobia.

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Research Helps Explain Why Women Have Orgasms

The female climax has puzzled scientists and philosophers for hundreds of years, simply because a female orgasm is not connected to reproduction and is not always achieved by all women. So why do we orgasm?

Research by Elisabeth Lloyd, a professor of history and philosophy of science, might explain the evolutionary role of the female orgasm as well as its implications for sexual health.

Lloyd has claimed that the orgasm is a by-product of evolution. She states:

It appears as the reason that females don’t have orgasm with intercourse at a very high level has to do with the anatomy of the genitals,” Lloyd said. “If the clitoris is far away from the vaginal opening, then the woman does not tend to have orgasm with intercourse.”

Elisabeth has spent many years researching the female orgasm, from the anatomy of the clitoris to theoretical explanations of its evolutionary purpose. She went on to say:

The measurements are pretty clear, and they’re pretty predictive.”

Lloyd has examined statistical techniques of measuring genitalia and found methods on how to determine whether a woman achieved orgasm or not. Lloyd has given interviews in many women’s magazines and claims whether a woman orgasms through a form of penetration or not is nothing to do with the woman herself.

She’s not too religious, she’s not uptight and immature. There’s nothing wrong with her.”

Lloyd believes that the female orgasm developed as a by-product of a male orgasm which is a necessity for reproduction. In a male embryo the genitals form at around eight weeks and the same happens to females, but as a female orgasm is not necessary for reproduction our orgasm is the by product.

Lloyd also published a paper with Justin Garcia, associate director for research and education of the Kinsey Institute, on the rate of orgasm with sex of lesbian, bisexual and heterosexual women.

They studied 19 different sexual acts, included deep kissing, genital fondling, oral sex and penetration that occur in sex between heterosexual, gay and bisexual women. Lloyd continued:

This is the first paper that does a systematic study of the lesbian orgasm rate, and so this is a ground-breaking study that we did.”

Even as a graduate student Lloyd found that many studies on the female orgasm required more evidence. Her theory that the female orgasm was a by-product of a male’s orgasm had been suggested before. She says:

Only one theory had serious evidence supporting it, and that theory was rejected by most scientists in the field. My work resuscitated a theory that had fallen by the wayside.”

Lloyd plans to continue her studies on the female orgasm and is doing so through more surveys and investigations to further support her theory.

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What Does The Future Look Like Queer Female Characters In TV And Film?

Queer female characters have been appearing on our screens for at least 15 years and the progress up to this point has changed dramatically. For example, around 15 years ago gay female characters were only given bit parts in TV, they were very rare in films and if they did appear it was usually in independent films.

Then, a few years on, as queer female characters began to appear more often, they were given roles that played up to male fantasy or the roles were quite negative. They were the sexy femme fatale characters that would be cat-burglars or sexy spies. Or they would be a bisexual bunny boiler out to take revenge or ruin some poor innocent’s life. If the queer females were a couple most would be trying for a baby. In films they were always the ‘quirky’ one or a bit ‘whacky.’

Next came Hollywood’s interest in teens and young adults struggling with their sexual orientation. Many T.V shows that were aimed at young adults would have a main character who was struggling with their confusion over an attraction to someone of the same sex. They would all go through the same sort of crisis, identifying their feelings, acting upon them to then coming out to family and friends and the aftermath of that.

For the past seven years or so queer female characters have started getting diverse roles. We’ve had two TV shows where all the characters have been queer females. We’ve had detectives, surgeons and even a succubi who are openly gay. Queer female characters have recently been found in every role that straight females have.

GLAAD’s 2015-2016 Where Are We on TV report discovered that queer women make up 2% of TV characters. Somewhere between 1.5-8.8% of women globally identify as non-heterosexual, the average is probably close to 2%. Additionally, only about 1.5% of women at any time are actually in a same-sex relationship. GLAAD’s 2016 Studio Responsibility Index reported that 17.5% of major studio releases had queer characters.

23% were women, meaning that about 4% of all characters were queer women. We mustn’t forget the 1 in 3 mortality rate for queer female characters on TV either. This issue gained a lot of press and criticism as many main queer female characters all suddenly started to die in many different TV programmes.

So, how will they progress in the future, given the firm trends that film and TV appear to follow? It will probably continue to be the same as it is now, but, the problem is that many showrunners, scriptwriters and producers are heterosexual and it doesn’t even occur to them to have lesbian or queer females in leading roles.

It’s probably likely that we will see a few great lesbian pairings, a couple of strong queer females in diverse roles and an unusually high death rate for queer female characters over the next decade or so. But, again, that will depend on what starts to trend across TV and film studios. It will be interesting to see if the GLAAD reports will increase or decrease in figures of gay female characters and we can hope that a few more all queer female TV shows come our way. It’s a funny old world, showbiz.

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Here’s How The Outcome Of The Presidential Race Could Implicate Your LGBT Rights

It’s countdown time to the presidential election and although some LGBT rights are now the laws of the land, there are other battles going on related to civil rights and non-discrimination protections for lesbians, gays, bisexuals and transgender people.

There are two important questions in particular, on both sides of the argument.

What sort of access should transgender people have to public bathrooms? Are the advances for LGBT rights infringing on the religious freedom of some Americans?

Hillary Clinton is a firm supporter of LGBT rights and she has endorsed the Equality Act which is a proposed federal law that would provide comprehensive protections against discrimination on the basis of sexual orientation and gender identity.

Donald Trump says he would be a better president for gays, yet major LGBT-rights groups strongly oppose him. There are many reasons for this. He has hesitated at endorsing same-sex marriage.

He has an evangelical advisory board that includes major opponents who disprove advances in LGBT rights.

Running mate Mike Pence, who is Indiana’s governor, signed a law last year that critics said would allow businesses to deny service to gay people for religious reasons.

No matter who wins the presidency there is only so much they can do to influence the LGBT rights policies. For example, if Clinton wins and there is a Republic controlled house it is unlikely that her Equality Act will get anywhere.

It’s highly unlikely that the same sex marriage law would be affected but some conservatives hope that a Supreme Court that has been reconfigured by trump might reverse the 2015 ruling that permitted same sex marriage in all 50 states.

There are some areas that could be majorly affected because it would depend on how active the new president would be in pushing LGBT rights forwards. For example, Clinton would probably push through the work of Obama to get transgender rights approved.

This might mean that schools and colleges would come under pressure to allow students to use a bathroom according to their gender identity and not according to the sex they were given on their birth certificate.

Many transgendered students have said they have faced issues such as discomfort and harassment when forced to use a bathroom they do not feel comfortable with.

Trump has told the conservatives that he will seek to protect Christians from having to violate their religious beliefs. This could mean for example that a professional working in the wedding industry could openly refuse to work on a same sex marriage and would not be punished for discrimination. They would even be able to publically announce they will not work with same sex couples.

Many states have democratic candidates that have declared they will oppose laws that restrict the rights of the LGBT community and they will push for LGBT civil rights if they are elected.

Some of the Republican candidates are on the other side of this and have vowed to endorse laws that Christians feel go against their religion such as transgender issues and same sex marriage.

It can only be hoped that our LGBT rights are looked after and pushed forwards but a lot of that will depend on the presidential win and the governors elected in each individual state.

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All Lesbian Or Bisexual Characters To Watch On Television This Month

This fall we have more queer women characters than ever before with more representation of women of color in pivotal roles. Network, cable and streaming staff are finding more ways to be inclusive of LGBTQ women. Here are 21 shows, new and returning that are giving gay and bi women some screen time.

1. Gotham

In the third series of Gotham the bisexual murderesses, Barbara and Tabitha are up to their usual tricks and getting themselves into a love triangle again! This series is aired on Fox. (Fox, Mondays 8/7c)

2. Shameless

This comedy is one of the queerest shows on TV, and this season might be one of the queerest with the thriving polyamorous throuple of Veronica, Kevin and Svetlana alongside Ian seeing his boyfriend french kissing a woman in the season premiere. Three isn’t really a crowd on this show, and sexual orientation has little to do with how anyone is treated. (Showtime, Sundays, 9/8c)

3. Scream Queens

Pansexual Chanel #3 has her investigation head on after reports of a new red devil have her friends mildly concerned about their lives. last season ended with Chanel #3 finding a love interest inside the mental institution. (FX, Tuesdays, 9/8c)

4. The Walking Dead

This long running show boasts a lesbian character Tara Chambler but they killed off her girlfriend, Denise, with an arrow to the eye last season. It will be interesting to see what is in store for her during season 7. (AMC, Sundays, 9/8c)

5. Easy

This Netflix series is about love, sex and relationships in Chicago and is very queer inclusive. It will feature one episode based entirely on a lesbian couple and another about a couple who go onto tinder to seek a woman for a threesome and ends up spending the night with a woman they already know. (Netflix, available now)

6. Code Black

In season 2, Dr. Malaya Pineda, who is one of a very few gay Indian characters on TV, lost her love last season and endured some professional setbacks as well. This season let’s hope things get a bit better for her. (CBS, Wednesdays, 10/9c)

7. Empire

Fox’s hit musical drama Empire boasted several queer women characters in the first two seasons, so we are sure to get some scenes involving a few of them and there may even be more queer women who pop up on occasion as well. (Fox, Wednesdays, 9/8c)

8. Younger

Younger is now in season 3 and we will see the return of Maggie who had a brief affair with Lauren, who was against being labelled. Here’s hoping that there is another romance on the horizon for her during this season. (TVLand, Wednesdays, 10/9c)

9. Legends Of Tomorrow

Sara Lance is a bisexual superhero character that is a force to be reckoned with! Last season she spent time with quite a few love interests so she is sure to enjoy some more encounters in season 2. (CW, Thursdays, 8/7c)

10. Mary And Jane

Best friends Jordan and Paige are mainly focused on expanding their marijuana delivery service, but when they aren’t working, their relationships (and sexual fantasies) tend to be of the sexually fluid variety and both enjoy fantasies involving other women. Jordan even enjoyed being the attention of a hetro couple only to discover they were using her to spice things up for them at home. (MTV, Mondays 10/9c)

11. Supergirl

The character Maggie Sawyer is a lesbian working for the National City Police Department and the exec. producer of the show has promised to keep her as gay as she is in the comic books. Supergirl can be seen on CW. (CW, Mondays 8/7c)

12. Jane The Virgin

Rosie and Luisa have an awful lot of chemistry between them both but as Rose married and then murdered Luisa’s father things are far than simple for them both. Season three premiers on 18th October. (CW, Mondays 9/8c)

13. The Mindy Project

Out comic Fortune Feimster is back full time in Season 5 and plays a nurse who is the gay sister of Jody. (Hulu, Tuesdays)

14. NCIS: New Orleans

A new out lesbian character, Tammy Gregorio, is an FBI agent with a mysterious past. She is brashy, ballsy and outspoken so she is sure to ruffle some feathers along the way. (CBS, Tuesdays, 10/9c)

15. American Housewife

This new comedy stars a character called Angela who is back, gay and going through a divorce. Angela and her friends see themselves as the outcasts of the town, so naturally they use their differences as a fun way to scare off the racist homophobes attempting to move in next door. (ABC, Tuesdays 8:30/7:30c)

16. Queen Sugar

This TV series, co-created by Oprah Winfrey, is about a black family trying to keep their family business going. The character, Nova Bordelon, one of the family members, is a journalist, activist and weed dealer whose bisexuality is not a problem for her brother and sister. (OWN, Wednesdays, 10/9c)

17. Transparent

Ali and Cherry Jones are still together at the beginning of Transparent‘s third season, so that’s something! And Sarah has finally accepted that she’s bisexual! (Amazon Prime)

18. Life In Pieces

Dougie, another character played by Fortune Femister, comes out in season two and she gets to experience her first gay bar and gets into other hilarious situations that are sure to make us smile. (CBS, Thursdays 9:30/8:30c)

19. How To Get Away With Murder

Annalise Keating is black and bisexual and she is as smart as she is mysterious, making her the kind of woman you both fear and fall head over heels for. Her on-again/off-again lover Eve is also set to appear in a few episodes this season so that should make interesting viewing again. (ABC, Thursdays, 10/9c)

20. Saturday Night Live

Comedian Kate McKinnon is back again to deliver us some of the funniest sketches, impersonations and characters we have ever seen. (NBC, Saturdays, 11:30/10:30c)

21. Grey’s Anatomy

Grey’s Anatomy lesbian MD Arizona Robbins is set for a new romance this season after losing her last love last season. So fingers crossed that this lady finds a love to make her smile. (ABC, Thursdays, 8/7c)

22. One Mississippi

One Mississippi is a semi-autobiographical dark comedy about a lesbian who returns to Mississippi after the death of her mother. The lesbian, of course, is Tig Notaro. (Amazon Prime)

Here’s Every Lesbian Movie You’ll Want To Stream This Weekend

So it’s film night chicas! It doesn’t matter if you are watching with your boo, your bestie or even your mom, we’ve got a film that is available on Amazon Prime that will suit most of your favourite genres.

Kiss Me

This Swedish film tells the story of a love triangle between Mia, her boyfriend and her soon – to –be stepsister Frida. As the women grow closer Mia begins to question if she should be with Frida or her boyfriend. Heartbreak is inevitable for one of them, but which one?

What it Was

A Hollywood actress, Adina. J, moves back to New York after the death of her sister. She realises her desire for her old flame, Toni, is still there and she has to reconcile her past selves in order to work out what she really wants.

Thick

A crime boss, Theresa James, is fighting off dodgy cops, her own staff and a dangerous rival to stay ahead of her game. To make matters worse she is also dealing with her wife who is cheating on her with a dangerous lover.

Concussion

This film is based on the character of Abby, who is in an accident and suffers a head injury and concussion. She decides as her marriage to Kate is stale and sexless she will find excitement elsewhere and she finds this by becoming a high class escort. The viewer is left on tenterhooks while waiting to discover if Abby’s double life will become exposed.

Ghosted

A German Artist, Sophie, tries to cope when her Taiwanese girlfriend is murdered. She soon meets an investigative journalist, Mei- Li, who is looking into the murder case. Mei-Li tries to seduce Sophie so she returns to Germany but Mei – Li is close behind her. Why is Mei-Li so interested in the murder and who really did kill Sophie’s girlfriend?

You Will Be Mine

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VvaAk359wCA

This film is a French drama about a gifted music student called Marie who goes to study music in Lyons. She moves in with a family friend, Emma, and their relationship takes a romantic turn. But it turns out that Emma has a secret side to her and wishes to control Marie’s life. Find out if Marie gets away from Emma or if she even wants to.

Little Sparrows

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9khvGbbDzak

Susan discovers her cancer has returned and realises this will be her last Christmas so she gathers her three daughters together to give them some words of wisdom and reveals a secret of her own. Get the hankies at the ready.

Love is Not Perfect

This Italian Romance is about Elena, a successful woman in her thirties with a perfection complex, whose life is turned upside down when she crosses paths with the 18-year-old temptress, Adriana, and Hector, a 60-year-old music producer. Adriana offers her excitement and passion but Hector can offer her stability and security. Who will she choose?

Between Two Women

This historical drama set in Northern England tells the story of Ellen, a working-class mother, who is trapped in a loveless marriage. She soon ends up falling for her son’s teacher Kathy. The attitudes of the 1950s, especially in the narrow minded industrial north, place barriers between the two women, but they cannot keep away from each other. Will Ellen leave her husband? Will Kathy get fired? Can the couple end up together? Watch and find out.

Ravens Touch

The story is set in a remote cabin in the woods. Raven has shut herself away in the cabin after her niece’s death in a tragic car accident that she blames herself for. Meanwhile, Kate has taken her teenagers camping in order to escape a violent ex. When Raven and Kate meet there is an instant attraction and both women must overcome their own fears in order to be together.

My Little Friend

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P8kbsH6ltvI

Amy is an artist and her old friend, Emily, comes back into town after 10 years away. Amy has come out since Emily has been gone but Emily is not aware of this. They begin to get close again and the lines between sexual attraction and friendship start to cross over. Emily’s boyfriend is not happy with this at all and tries to split their friendship up.

Next Door

This German film explores the lives of four lesbian roommates and it soon becomes apparent that they are all hiding something from themselves and each other. As the truth starts to get revealed one of them must find the courage to reveal all.

X Factor Contestant, Saara Aalto, Talks About Falling In Love With A Female Fan

X Factor singer, Saara Aalto has spoken out for the first time about her decision to break up with her boyfriend. The singer decided to leave him after falling in love with a fan, Meri Sopanen.

The talented singer who has gotten through to the live performances, also represented her native country, Finland, in the Eurovision song contest in 2011 and afterwards she took part in the voice for Finland. This is when she met Meri.

Saara told The Sun newspaper:

My girlfriend – fiancée now – watched the show, liked me a lot and sent me a fan message through Facebook. She wrote, ‘I have never, ever sent a message like this to anybody, but I just had this intuition that I have to send this to you.’ I was like, ‘That’s so cute’, and thought, ‘What a nice-looking girl.’”

A year later they finally met up when Meri attended one of Saara’s concenrts.

Saara describes what happened when they finally met:

We started talking and realised we just shared the same view of life and everything.”

Saara, at that time, was still with her boyfriend, a fellow Finnish singer called Teemu Roivainen and they had been together for nine years.

He was my producer and band leader. We started dating when I was 15 and we fell in love and we still love each other. But when you grow, you get older and I realised that I would prefer being with a girl. Me and Teemu still love each other like a brother and sister.”

Saara decided to part with her boyfriend and the two girls became a couple. They got engaged this summer after being together two years. Meri has now taken over as her manager. Saara said:

We are a very good team and I love to work with her. If we didn’t work together we’d never see each other.”

It seems that both girls are extremely happy both professionally and personally and we all wish her the best of luck in the X Factor.

360 Degree Video Challenges Homophobia In All Directions

A lesbian vlogger, Arielle Scarcella, has teamed up with a group of other well-known youtubers to put together an inspiring film clip utilizing a 360-degree camera. The camera technique allows them all to get their message across in a very unique way, and everyone who has taken part tell their stories about coming out and finding love.

Youtubers Bria and Chrissy, known as BriaAndChrissy on youtube, both took part in the video and Bria describes her experience when she came out to her mum.

I remember she said to me, ‘when am I going to look at you and not see gay?’ I knew exactly what she meant because I couldn’t look at myself and not see gay.”

Chrissy, the other half of the duo recalls:

When I first came out I was really afraid of being judged by my conservative small-town community, and I was. It was really difficult to have people look at me in the face and not see me as the person that I was.”

But during the video both girls give out a positive vibe as well as they explain once they became involved in the LGBT community they slowly learned to accept themselves. The participants talk about the need for accepting who you are and explain that universal love is a positive and good thing. Many of them found their self-acceptance through the LGBT community, even though the process was slow for some.

Another youtuber in the video, Stephanie Frosch, sums up the experience of self- acceptance and coming out by saying:

I think the important thing to remember is, no matter what the struggle you’re going through, it’s almost like a thunderstorm. You may not see happiness at the end of it, but just like thunder clouds go away, the sun is always there the whole time.”

The video is a brilliant piece of film with a positive and strong message to all so let’s hope it gets as much recognition as possible.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NeZjAerE6vk

Doctor Strange’s Tilda Swinton Is Holding Out For A Queer Superhero

Tilda Swinton is soon to appear as The Eternal in the new Marvel film, Doctor Strange, has said she is hoping that Marvel will soon give us a gay superhero.

During an interview with Out Magazine, Swinton discusses some of the criticism Doctor Strange has received, especially around the fact that her character was changed from an Asian comic book character.

Swinton said her message to these critics is simple:

Anyone speaking up for a greater accuracy in the representation of the diversity of the world we live in has me right beside them. As someone who has worked from the beginning as an artist within a queer aesthetic, the urgency of that voice is always going to be welcome.”

Swinton goes on to talk about Marvels own commitment to diversity.

I believe in Marvel’s wholehearted commitment to creating a diverse and vibrant universe, avoiding stereotype and cliché wherever possible in a determination to keep things fresh and lively. We are also still looking forward to our first gay Marvel superhero, naturally. Let’s hope that’s only a matter of time.”

During the interview in Swinton also discusses ‘the nature of queerness’ and expresses this view:

I have lived for my entire adult life closely integrated into a queer aesthetic, occasionally in situations where I may have been—for months at a time – either the only cis woman present or the only person in a heterosexual relationship, without particularly questioning why it might be strange for me to be included. The issue of sexuality is a secondary one to the issue of spirit. My analysis is, as my grandmother would say, ‘Horses for courses,’ meaning, each to their own.”

She also has strong opinions on attitudes to queerness and how these attitudes can unite.

Queerness is an attitude that, when acknowledged as shared, can bring more people together than could ever be divided by it being used as a term of rejection.”

Tilda is very open and proud about her own attitude to queerness and continued by saying:

I think this attitude is what I carry above my head, without any effort or influence. I think it is a form of semaphore that my colleagues recognize as a homing beacon—and I am proud to say I think it was probably blinking away even in my cradle.”

Swinton is a very positive voice for the queer community and it’s an honour to have her speak up for us in such a vocal way.

Let’s hope she gets her wish and Marvel will indeed give us our first ever gay Marvel Superhero.

Gender Defying Drag Kings Are Gaining A Massive UK Following

All around the UK Drag Kings are gaining followers by the 1000’s. 5 years ago there were only a handful of Drag Kings in the UK getting regular work in the performance world. Now, there are around 60 getting gigs on a weekly basis.

There are some venues in the UK that are now offering special Drag King nights. In She Bar, Soho, they have a night once a month called Boi Box. In Glory Bar, East London, they hold a weekly Drag King contest with a prize of 1000 pounds and they get up to 12 acts performing a week.

The Marlborough Theatre in Brighton holds an annual Drag King competition and in Blackpool they have the UK’s first ever Drag King Karaoke Bar.

Dr Meagan Tyler, an expert in gender and feminist theory believes the reason Drag Kings are getting so popular is because:

The current growth is born out of younger generations of women,” They are less bound by traditional paradigms of gender conduct in the wake of various feminist movements. Social attitudes in this country are undergoing tremendous changes when it comes to acceptance of otherness.”

Also there are a number of celebrities talking about being gender fluid – such as Ruby Rose, and Lady Gaga’s drag alter ego, Jo Calderone – or even trans gender’s, and it’s not hard to see why drag kings are gaining popularity. Some acts are accumulating more than 50,000 hits on YouTube which proves how popular they are becoming.

Stylist Magazine spoke to Benjamin Butch (real name Bethan Rainforth), a 22-year-old sales assistant originally from Lincoln, to discuss a Drag King’s typical stage dress and preparing for a show. Benjamin said:

“Being in drag on public transport is not a pleasant experience. I start with make-up, which my fiancée does for me, then hair (it’s short, though some people use wigs), then body – binding [to strap down the chest] before contouring my abs with make-up, though some people use Sharpies for darker lines. I find binders annoying, so I use sports tape on my chest; it’s comfier. And then it’s the package – a prosthetic penis – and the right outfit. Because, of course, the clothes maketh the man…”

Most of the acts consist of a combination of lip synching, dancing and singing as well as some comedy. Stylist magazine asked Adam All (real name Jen Powell) who also runs Boi Box, how it feels when she performs:

“When I’m Adam, I feel powerful and liberated. The first time I dressed in drag I was 17, and my first public appearance on stage was at 19. It was quite nerve-wracking; I didn’t know how people would react. Yet the audience loved it. It felt so free to be appreciated for myself, or the part of myself that I previously had to keep hidden away all the time. People mistook my gender from as young as four-years-old. I never fitted the typically feminine stereotype and I found it really hurtful. I struggled with gender identity between the age of 18 and 22, and considered transitioning to male at one point, but in the end it didn’t feel like the right thing to do.”

The drag scene seems fun, explorative and exciting. It’s inclusive. Underneath the sports tape and cartons full of fake chest and beard hair, every drag king seems to have one thing in common. Whether they were gay, straight, bi, non-binary, black or white they had found a movement where they finally belong. And as the public are embracing the scene with so much vigour and attending the performances on a regular basis, let’s hope the scene grows from strength to strength all around the country.

Campaigners Say That LGBTQ Members With Mental Health Problems Endure Dual Discrimination.

See Me, the national anti-stigma support group claims that members of the LGBTQ community face dual discrimination and have nowhere to turn to for help and members of the community often end up feeling alone and isolated.

The LGBT Health and Wellbeing project, which is funded by See Me, are trying to work at improving mental health awareness and the stigma attached to it within the LGBTQ community.

The project has just recently set up a group in Glasgow looking at how to improve the lives of gay and transgendered people living in the city. They are also looking at ways of discovering where stigma regarding mental health comes from and hope to find ways to overcome them.

Jenny Speirs, who runs the group, said:

A lot of people in the LGBTQ community experience mental health issues but have a lot of barriers accessing service and support groups, unfortunately we know some people do experience homophobia, biphobia and trans phobia when trying to access services. There is a lack of understanding about what needs LGBT people have, there is an assumption that the mental health problems are because they are LGBT, but that isn’t always the case.”

Jenny also believes there is a stigma regarding mental health issues within the LGBT community itself and it isn’t widely talked about. She continued:

There is nowhere in the scene in Glasgow to speak about mental health and it isn’t very welcoming of mental health issues. People feel very judged if they are out, there is no space for discussion. So people face discrimination because of their sexuality and their mental health, but there is no place where they can speak about them both together, they don’t feel able to speak about their sexuality in mental health services and they can’t speak about their mental health in the LGBT scene in Glasgow.”

The group are also running an event at the Scottish Queer International Film Festival (SQIFF) on 11th October at the Glad Café in Glasgow, where they will present films on the issue and will have a panel discussion to work out what changes can be made regarding the problem.

Calum Irving, who is the See Me programme director also commented that:

“It is really important that LGBT people have a space in Glasgow they can come together to talk about these important issues. No one should ever have to feel ashamed or embarrassed about their mental health or sexuality and this project is doing great work to not only empower those taking part, but looking to improve the lives of others in the future.”

Big changes need to be made in our own community to support fellow community members who are suffering from mental health issues.

We all face enough prejudice anyway, without stigmatizing our own community members.

The Binding Health Project Is The First Medical Study To Look At Chest Binding

Chest binding is a fact of life for many people, including trans men, some gay women, intersex people, and gender non-conforming individuals.

But up until now, the medical profession has known very little about it.

Flattening the appearance of one’s breasts – either through Ace bandages, compression undergarments, layered T-shirts, sports bras, or commercial binders – isn’t just to make it easier to pass in public as the preferred gender, or to maintain a masculine style; for many people it’s a matter of psychological well-being and helps them feel a lot more comfortable about the body they are living with.

Chest binding is something only really known about in the LGBTQ community and the report by the Binding Health Project shows that a discussion on how to help people bind safely and effectively is long overdue.

The report states:

Based on our preliminary analysis, for most participants, binding was a positive experience and led to improvements in mood and self-esteem, minimized gender dysphoria, anxiety, and depression, and helped them to feel in control of their bodies. In fact, some reported that a positive impact on emotional and behavioural health makes the physical discomfort of binding worth it.”

The report adds the problems that people who bind every day can face.

Binding is a part of daily life for many, but it can have negative impacts on your physical health—ranging from minor to severe—across a wide range of symptoms, from pain in different parts of your body, to shortness of breath, to bruising or other skin changes.”

The researchers who conducted the study hope that they can educate physicians on the benefits and impact binding can have on an individual and to encourage physicians to help individuals take control of their health.

The study discovered that binding was a daily occurrence and most binders bind for around 10 hours a day. The research found that a massive 97.2 percent reported at least one negative health outcome that they attributed to binding.

Seventy-four percent reported pain-related concerns, the most common side effect was back pain (53.8 percent), followed by overheating (53.5 percent), chest pain (48.8 percent), shortness of breath (46.6 percent), and itching (44.9 percent). Fifty respondents even believed they had suffered from rib fractures as a result of binding.

The report also discovered that even though people were experiencing side effects from binding not one of them had consulted a medical professional which shows there is a worrying lack of specific knowledge about binding and the stigma that could also be attached to the practise.

Dylan, a custody officer assistant who has been binding since he was a teenager told the researchers:

There would be a lot of time that I would get up at six in the morning for an early [work] shift, and then I would bind after the early shift and not go to bed until two in the morning, So I would be bound for like 20 hours and, you know, you do get pains and you suffer from a really bad back.”

Dylan said he just coped with the pain the best he could and said he thought if he went to the doctors they would just tell him to stop binding so he didn’t see the point of going. Unofficial reports online have been posted and they recommend that people do not bind for more than 8 hours but this report shows that this advice is ignored. The study concluded that:

Many trans and gender non-conforming individuals say that they would continue binding regardless of the physical health risks. The psychological relief provided by binding—as well as the increased ability to pass in public as one’s correct gender—often overweighs any potential downside. Knowing this, the Binding Health Project wants to arm both medical professionals and queer people alike with information about binding, including how best to do it, what is best to use, and how often.”

This is something that is desperately needed for people that bind and let’s hope it makes a difference to their lives and means they can start to bind safely and correctly without damaging their physical or mental health in any way.

New ‘Ring Of Keys’ Powerful Video In celebration Of GLAAD’s ‘Spirit Day’

‘Ring of Keys’ – a song taken from the musical adaptation of Fun Home – has been used as this year’s Spirit Day video to promote acceptance and love for LGBTQ+ youth.

Spirit Day is a day organised by GLAAD – the U.S. non-governmental media monitoring organisation founded by LGBTQ+ people in the media – to offer support and gain awareness for LGBTQ+ youth who have been victims of bullying.

Fun Home from which the song has been taken from is a powerful story that has moved audiences around the world and embodies what Spirit Day is all about – acceptance.

The video for the song has been created by Curran and Oakland School for the Arts, and GLAAD hopes it will give a powerful message of support to LGBTQ+ youth who are often bullied to the point where many have committed suicide.

Spirit Day was started in 2010, with supporters normally wear purple on to show their support for this worthy cause.

GLAAD supported the initiative from the beginning and the day has gained recognition nationwide over the years.

The Fun Home musical has been adapted from a graphic novel of the same name that was written by Alison Bechdel, and tells the story of Bechdel’s own journey of discovering her sexuality, her relationship with her gay father and her quest to unlock the mysteries surrounding his life.

It is the first Broadway musical to ever have a lesbian protagonist. The Ring of keys song is all about the relationship for queer youth and role models.

Bechel said as a child, she saw a woman in dungarees, sporting short hair and a carabiner clip of keys. She immediately identified with the butch woman, seeing parts of herself in the woman that she couldn’t yet express at a young age. This is where the inspiration for Ring of keys came from.

This year, Spirit Day will be celebrated on 20^th October so wear something purple and take the pledge to show your support for LGBTQ youth and help combat bullying and prejudice.

Why Is Gender Equality Still Not Been Fully Achieved?

America has come a long way in terms of gender equality, but, Susan Adams, a professor of management at Bentley University asks a very important question. ‘How long will it be before the gender of a presidential candidate is non-issue?’ How long indeed. There are many recognized reasons why this is but there are also some reasons that are not so well known.

Chores at home are still considered feminine roles.

Although American Dads have tripled the amount of time they help out with childcare over the last 50 years, they are still not doing enough chores to lighten the load that women do around the house. In a study carried out by sociologists at Indiana University it was discovered that over two thirds of American adults believe that women in heterosexual relationships should be responsible for doing the cooking, cleaning, laundry and buying the groceries.

This shows that many women themselves believe it is their role around the house. Gender roles have become so ingrained over the years that women automatically assume these gender roles without even questioning it.

In the same study, participants were given descriptions of same sex couples, one of whom was stereotypically ‘masculine’ and the other ‘feminine.’ Two thirds of the participants thought that the ‘feminine’ partner should do the housework as they incorrectly presumed that same sex couples follow straight gender roles in their relationship. The idea of gender specific roles is so deeply ingrained in people that they are simply taken as the norm.

There are less female inventors than men.

Lydia Dishman recently made a report to Fast Company stating that in 2010 only 7.7% of new U.S patents were filed by women. There are a number of likely reasons for this, a large one is the gender gap in STEM fields. According to a study by the Institute for Women’s Policy Research (IWPR), the few women who are inventors tend to file patents in female-dominated fields like jewellery (26.7% of all patents) and apparel (25.3%). It’s typically when women belong to a group of inventors, the report found, that they’re better represented in other fields, like chemistry and pharmaceuticals. Even female scientists and inventors are genderizing their own work to things that are considered ‘female’ in the field.

11% of U.S employees don’t believe in equal pay for women

In March, Glassdoor discovered that a massive 11% of workers do not think women and men should get the same pay for doing the same job. Many companies have recently committed to ensuring equal pay amongst their employees, but many companies have not committed to do so and some have even been disclosed publically stating that they do not give equal pay to men and women carrying out the same job. If female employees believe they don’t deserve the same pay and male employees believe they are worth more than women, there is some way to go to achieve complete gender equality in society. The change can only come about when women believe themselves they are capable of becoming leaders or earning more money than men, men can accept women are equal and are prepared to do work they normally presume is a woman’s job and our future generations grow up to believe there are no such things as gender roles. When this attitude happens only then will gender equality have been achieved.

Visual AIDS Works With Top Artists To Create Safer Sex Trading Cards For Women

The AIDS Awareness group, Visual AIDS, have teamed up with a variety of artists to produce some trading cards to promote harm reduction, HIV testing, pre and post exposure prophylaxis and to raise awareness against HIV and AIDS. Visual AIDS uses art to fight AIDS, offer support for artists living with HIV/AIDS and to preserve a legacy.

The trading cards are fun, sexy and creative and uses work from Artists such as LJ Roberts, Kia Labeija and Jessica Whitbread. The cards also come with internal and external condoms and lubricant.

This is the first time Visual AIDS have created a Play Smart Safer Sex Kit for women and their vision is to overcome the preconceptions that safe sex can’t be sexy.

The cards are available to buy now and are a great idea to get people talking about safe sex and to see it as an addition to sex, something that should be carried out at all times as prevention of HIV and sexually transmitted diseases can be prevented if we all play safe.

Ilene Chaiken Changes The Course Of Television Twice

Ilene Chaiken has done so much for bringing minority groups to the forefront of television. Firstly, she gives us The L Word, the first TV show that put lesbians lives and the lives of the LGBTQ community at the centre of the programme.

Then she gives us Empire, which is the first show to feature a majority cast of African Americans and their daily lives in the music and entertainment industry. The show is already into its third season.

Because Chaiken is a woman and an out lesbian, the fact she is at the head of these productions is a big achievement as Hollywood still struggles with diversity, in front of and behind the camera. Chaiken told Advocate Magazine:

Clearly, it’s still a boys’ club. As a gay person, there’s still is just an uphill road for us to hoe. We are underrepresented vastly, and we haven’t been represented in all of the ways in which we live in the world. I think it’s incremental, the progress that we see in that regard.”

TV is however outpacing film in regards to diversity, but this is not something that is happening everywhere. CBS got criticised in the summer for revealing an upcoming season of shows focusing on white, straight men. Chaiken believes a lot of this is also to do with the political situation in America at the moment.

Look at where we are now. It’s this extraordinary political moment and these two countervailing trends of political culture. There’s this great leap forward and this hideous and appalling kind of slide backwards. There’s a real tension in our culture right now that’s still being reflected in the entertainment culture.”

Chaiken is the lead in the writer’s room for Empire and she is a firm believer that her identities are her strengths in her job and she doesn’t see them as weaknesses. She went on to say:

The qualities that I ascribe to being a woman and to being gay are the things that I think make me good at my job. There are different ways of being a showrunner. And I like to think that I do it with a sense of inclusiveness, with a view to listening and welcoming the input of my colleagues and nurturing.”

When Chaiken led the writers room on The L Word she said that at first she was encouraged to hire writers who were straight and good at their craft but she quickly realized that writing experience was nowhere near real life experience and so she started hiring lesbian writers.

It just was so clear that in taking on this mission of doing the first show about lesbians in the history of mainstream television that lesbians had to tell those stories. We’re pulling back the curtain on our lives, and we’re the ones who know our lives.”

Chaiken also has some plans for the future and what is missing from TV right now. She says:

I’m just looking at the landscape, and I feel it’s time for another great gay show. There will be soon, I hope, and not necessarily a show about being gay, although I would welcome that, but also a show that simply is led by characters who are gay and are living their lives. In that way, we get to portray the nuances of our lives.”

This is good to hear and we will all be waiting to see what this amazing, talented and fearless showrunner will give us to enjoy next.

17 Fictional Characters That Helped Us Confirm Our Queerness

Buzzfeed asked their readers what fictional character helped them realize they were queer and here are some of the most popular characters nominated along with the best reasons why.

Xena Warrior Princess

Best reason given by a reader:

The opening credits where she fondles her boobs had me hooked at 5.”

Willow Rosenberg, Buffy the Vampire Slayer

Best reason given by a reader:

I remember thinking how I wanted a girl in long witchy skirts to hold my hand. (Not much has changed.)”

Dana Scully, The X Files

Best reason:

I hope Gillian Anderson knows how many people she helped. National freaking treasure, that woman.”

Shane McCutcheon, The L Word

Best reason:

No other words needed except for: HOLY HOT DAMN.”

Spencer and Ashley, South of Nowhere

Best reason:

It was watching Spencer and Ashley’s relationship develop on South of Nowhere that made me realize that you can have relationships with other women and it’s perfectly normal and amazing.”

Jules Paxton, Bend It Like Beckham

Best reason:

Jules was just so hot and so good at football and one of the reasons I actually begged my parents to let me start playing. Honestly this is one of my favourite movies for lesbian subtext, and in my head this film ended with Jules and Jess getting together.”

Brittany and Santana, Glee

Best reason:

I feel like we went through a journey together because when Santana got married to Brittany, I finally started feeling comfortable with myself and came out to the people closest to me.”

Susanna Kaysen, Girl Interrupted

Best reason:

I realised how not into her relationship with Toby I was and how much I wanted Susanna and Lisa to, basically, do more kissing.”

Lara Croft, Tomb Raider

Best reason:

I’d always been curious about other girls, but this confirmed to me that I liked girls as well as boys. She just oozed confidence and strength and I wanted to be her! That gave me the confidence to be myself. My husband thinks it’s pretty cool that we had the same teenage crush!”

Megan and Graham, But I’m a Cheerleader

Best reason:

I sat two inches away from the screen with the sound on mute at 2am (this was in the dark ages before on-demand), and while I didn’t have all the words for it, I knew that Clea and I had more than a rocking bob in common.”

Jillian Holtzmann, Ghostbusters

Best reason:

Kate McKinnon in Ghostbusters makes me wish I was a sexually confused 9-year-old just figuring it out.”

Lucy Diamond, D.E.B.S

Best reason:

I still crush hard on her character to this day. I could watch her lip-synch ‘A Little Respect’ endlessly.”

Emily and Naomi, Skins

Best reason:

The Naomi-and-Emily storyline in Skins took the wind right out of me – why couldn’t I stop thinking about this silly TV romance? I was randomly introduced to another fan who supported me through that short roller coaster of revelations. By chance, she turned out to be the absolute love of my life and if it wasn’t for that show and that storyline I wouldn’t be married to the most amazing woman. The past six years have been the best years of my life. Thanks to Skins. I owe Skins so much.”

Jenifer, Jenifer’s Body

Best reason:

Literally anything with Megan Fox in it got me thinking, Well, maybe I’m bi, and here we are today.”

Alex Vause, Orange is the New Black

Best reason:

Watching that episode where she puts her glasses on top of her head and tells Doggett, ‘I will fuck you’ – I was all, ‘Yes, please. Where do I sign up!’”

Callie and Arizona, Grey’s Anatomy

Best reason:

Arizona Robbins and Callie on Grey’s Anatomy. Don’t get me wrong, I guess I always kind of knew I was into girls, but seeing these two characters’ together kind of made it click for me. Forever my favourite couple on Grey’s.”

Missy Pantone, Bring it On

Best reason:

I was like 5 years old when I saw it, and to this day, I still want her to bring it on.”

The New LGBTQ Comedy ‘Chapstick’ Brings Some Light Hearted Fun To Our Lives

A new web series, Chapstick, explores the lives of two best friends, Marlo and Addy, and their daily struggles of being artists, being women and being gay. They often find themselves in funny situations but manage to smile through it all as they rely on each other for support. Chapstick is based in Chicago and the aim of the series is to normalize LGBTQ characters but still maintain the roots that lie within the community.

The creators of the series, Charlotte Kennet and Kearney Fagan also write, direct and act in every episode. The entire cast and crew are made up from individuals that identify as LGBTQ and every character is played by an LGBTQ actor. The pair wanted to provide more comedy for LBGTQ people and they are both involved in the comedy community in Chicago. This is the biggest comedy project the women have worked on and they are determined to continue to produce dynamic and interesting comedic content for season two.

The entire season can now be watched online via youtube so if you are looking for a chuckle, head on over and check it out.

Connect with Chapstick on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, and Tumblr

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YindanKG8lE

New Study Reveals Binge Watching TV Is Good For Our Love Lives

A new study conducted by the University of Aberdeen has shown that couples who curl up on the sofa together and binge watch a box set can develop a closer emotional bond than those that don’t do this. The study has been written up into a research paper called ‘Let’s stay home and watch TV – The benefits of shared media use for close relationships.’ The paper suggests that couples can enhance interdependence by watching TV shows together and this is especially so if the couple do not have many mutual friends as this means they lack a shared social world. This basically means the couple build up a relationship together with the same TV characters and this compensates for not sharing the same social group.

Interdependence is a process called ‘self – expansion’ in which people incorporate aspects of their partner into their own personality, through common interests and friendships and the paper states:

Self – expansion fosters closeness and feelings of love, and sharing a “fictional social world” can help couples with this process, leading romantic partners to identify as “an interdependent ‘we'”.

For example, when many LBGTQ individuals watched ‘The L Word’ we felt part of their lives and it was almost like Bette, Shane and co were really our friends. ‘Orange is the New Black’ is quoted in the paper when Piper says to her then boyfriend the night before she leaves for her prison sentence:

Promise me you’re not watching Mad Men without me … that when I get out of here, we’re going to binge watch it, together, in bed, with take out.”

The paper continues to state that Piper’s longing to binge watch Mad Men with Larry can stem from a desire to restore this shared social identity when she gets out of prison as her time spent in prison will take her away from her sense of shared identity with her partner.

So girls, what are you waiting for? Get out the popcorn, choose your favourite TV show, snuggle into your boo and binge watch that box set for hours. After all, who are we to argue with the experts when we can improve our relationship with our loved one simply by watching TV together? Enjoy!

The Making Of A King – The Kings Are In Town

Drag kings are mostly female performance artists who dress in masculine drag and personify male gender stereotypes as part of an individual or group routine.

They may be heterosexual, lesbian, bisexual, transgender, genderqueer, or otherwise part of the LGBT community. Drag kings are largely a phenomenon of lesbian culture and have made up a large part of the lesbian community for many years.

Compared to their counterparts, drag queens, very little is known about the drag king subculture. Nicole Miyahara, the director of the film, hopes to change all that with her feature documentary and she has just recently launched a crowdfunding campaign in order to raise enough money to get the documentary finished.

We started this journey over four years ago. When I first met these drag kings, I was moved by their artistry and resilience. I knew I wanted to bring their story to the big screen.”

This feature documentary paints a broader and more inclusive picture of diverse identities and what it means to be a drag artist. These kings are challenging gender norms and stereotypes through drag and art, and in the process inviting the audience to question their own cultural expectations of gender.

Through deeply honest interviews, the kings reveal the journey of expressing masculinity through performance, explore what it will take for drag kings to be part of mainstream pop culture, and share how their experiences with drag positively affect their daily lives.

Nicole and her film making team have spent years getting to know these artists and following their stories through the camera in order to explore their culture and understand their battles. One protagonist of the documentary, Havok Von Doom expressed the importance of getting this documentary out there:

This film is really important on many levels. Drag kings have a bad rap even though we put it just as much work, time, effort into every illusion as the queens do. What we do transcends genders. It doesn’t matter what’s underneath the character that you are seeing. What I hope is that audiences will see this film and realize that drag in general should be celebrated as a mainstream form of entertainment.”

Apparently drag kings have an ongoing battle within the drag community and are fighting for equality within their own drag community. They are faced with issues such as equal pay, equal access to show time, and respect in the greater LGBTQ community. Nicole talks about the message she is clear to portray with the film and says:

We understand the responsibility and opportunity to open people’s minds with this film. We hope this documentary will create conversations about gender and performance art.”

It is important to the LGBTQ community that documentaries like this hit the big screen as it raises awareness in our own community as well as to others outside of it. Gender, identity and gender roles have been issues in society forever but it is even more important to challenge these issues in our own LGBTQ community so let’s support the film in any way we can.

For more information, please visit or follow the film on Twitter: @DragKingFilm.

‘Rooms’ New Music Video ‘Stars Beyond’ Is A Story About Falling Out Of Love (Video)

This visually stunning and clever video, directed by Rory Pearson, is the latest release from Australian pop duo, Rooms. The emotional story clearly hits the turmoil felt when a relationship has come to an end and communication, attraction and understanding is lost.

When asked about the video Rooms said:

Pearson wanted the music video to tap into the thoughts and feelings you experience when you feel a relationship is slipping away; with that inherent fear of loss that creeps in slowly and consumes your thoughts. The end of a relationship, whether you simply grow apart or lose attraction for one another is one of the hardest emotional roads to navigate.”

The song itself entwines perfectly within the film and the lyrics are as haunting and as emotional as the video itself. The pain the two protagonists are feeling in the film is obvious and Rooms stated:

All the normal signals and signs from your partner become muddled and communication begins to deteriorate”

This psychedelic pop duo are extremely talented and have produced an amazing combination of film and music which together creates a stunning and clever piece of art. Definitely worth watching.

‘Southwest Of Salem’ Tells The Story Of 4 Hispanic Lesbians Long Fight For Justice

Southwest of Salem, a new documentary feature released at the end of this month, follows the awful miscarriage of justice suffered by four lesbians over the last 24 years. The film, by Deborah S. Esquenazi, who became interested in the case and is convinced of the women’s innocence, follows the four women during their trials, their conviction, their parole, and their ongoing fight for exoneration.

Elizabeth Ramirez, Kristie Mayhugh, Anna Vasquez and Cassandra Rivera, all of whom were 19 and 20 years old at the time and lived in Texas, were accused of gang raping Elizabeth’s nieces, then aged 7 and 9.

What transpired next was basically nothing short of a witch-hunt. The case became widely known as ‘The San Antonio four’ and the state of Texas offered the four women a chance to be put on probation for 10 years and avoid prison. The young women, convinced justice would prevail as they were innocent, refused to admit guilt to anything and the case went to trial.

Justice failed them entirely and in 1998 the four women were convicted of aggravated sexual assault and indecency with a child. Elizabeth was sentenced to 37.5 years in prison and her friends got 15 years each.

During the late 90’s the United States was emerging from a bizarre period of mass hysteria in which many day care workers, nannies and babysitters all over the country were being accused of performing satanic ritual abuse on the children they cared for. The paediatrician who examined the girls, Nancy Kellogg, whose testimony sealed the women’s fate, said she found healed scarring in their vaginas, which she examined two months after the alleged attacks happened, and said it possibly indicated molestation. She also said that there appeared to be “signs of satanic-related sexual abuse.”

According to journalist Michelle Mondo, who wrote an article about the case in 2010, Kellogg said she based her notes on her “research and experience in this area,” and published studies she could not name.

The four women were never directly accused of ritual abuse, but because of Dr. Kellogg’s testimony, the prosecutors depicted the working-class Latinas as living sordid lives of debauchery. The filmmakers and the women conclude they were accused and convicted of sexual child abuse, and suspected of being in a satanic cult for one simple reason: They were lesbians. The film portrays the deeply ingrained cultural and systemic prejudices that resulted in the convictions of these Mexican-American women. They were from Texas, a very conservative state, and didn’t have the resources to use expensive attorneys. They were simply vulnerable to racial and homophobic prejudice by the authorities and could do little to protect themselves against it.

It also emerged in court that Elizabeth’s brother in law, Javier Limon, had a crush on Elizabeth and often made sexual advances to her. It is believed that because she rejected his advances and the fact Elizabeth was a lesbian, he encouraged his children to make these allegations against the women in an act of sick revenge. Even though the love letters he sent Elizabeth were mentioned in court and witnesses came forwards stating that Limon had been crushing on Elizabeth since she was a teenager, Limon denied everything and the courts believed him, not Elizabeth.

During the time of the allegations, and a fact not known to the public or the court, Anna and Cassie were partners, and they were raising Cassie’s two young children together. They used to spend time at Elizabeth’s house because they had been kicked out of their own homes by their mothers upon learning that they were lesbians.

It was this deep cultural prejudice and intolerance that allowed people to think the worst of them. In 2010, 15 years into the women’s nightmare, Stephanie Limon, one of the girls that accused the women, by then a young mother of 25, recanted her testimony in front of Director Esquenazi’s cameras and two lawyers from The Innocence Project of Texas. This led to Anna getting parole in 2012. She was desperate to help her friends get out of prison as well and eventually helped them to get released on bond in 2013.

The women have never been exonerated and are still fighting for their exoneration to this day. Mike Ware, lawyer for the Texas Innocence Project, who has helped the women file their appeal, anticipates that the San Antonio Four will be vindicated and all the charges dismissed.

Still, he worries that there are two other possible outcomes: the court may find there is not enough evidence for actual innocence, and order a new trial, or they will be denied and have to return to prison to serve the remainder of their sentences. No charges have been filed against Limon despite the fact one of his daughters admitted she had lied.

The film will hit the wider screens later in the year.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j7jwawgzUJA

Photographer Launches An Exhibition Called ‘I Am Here: The Lesbian Portraits’

Robert Kalman would often stop people on the streets of New York and ask if he could take their portrait. One day he asked a tattooed man if he could take his portrait and then he handed him a piece of paper asking him to write a few words about himself. Kalman was surprised when the words said ‘this man’s a lady.’

From this one encounter it prompted Robert to work on an exhibition and dedicate it to his sister, Hillary Kalman, who was also a lesbian and died 10 years previously.

He decided that with every portrait the model would write a few words about themselves that would also be displayed with the portrait.

The Exhibition opens on September 23^rd at The Stonewall Museum and will run until November 2^nd.

Kalman said that he remembers when his sister came out in 1976 and said no one was very positive, especially her Mother.

Our mother wrote a hideous note that I preserved as a photograph. The note read ‘Hillary, I didn’t realize how much you hate me. Mother.’ “

The note will also be displayed in the exhibition next to Hillary’s photograph. Kalman said that he didn’t want the women smiling in the photo as he wanted to see the real them, but he goes on to say that many women express happy feelings in their notes and most are positive. Robert thinks that his sister would be happy to hear that after the difficulties she went through herself.

All the photographs are in black and white and Robert stated that he would only take two pictures as this was enough to capture the essence of the women. Kalmen worked with his wife on the project who would approach the women and ask if they would be photographed. He states that women feel less threatened if another women approaches them rather than a strange man they don’t know.

Robert says that his subjects are important to him and stated:

I have an emotional response to people, and I want to photograph them. When I stop a person, it’s for a reason. It’s because something about that person resonated with me.”

Don’t miss seeing this exhibition and admission is also free.

“I Am Here: The Lesbian Portraits” will be on exhibit Sept. 23-Nov. 2 at the Stonewall National Museum, 2157 Wilton Drive, in Wilton Manors. Robert Kalman will speak during an opening reception at 6 p.m. Friday, Sept. 23. Admission is free. Call 954-763-8565 or go to Stonewall-Museum.org.

Could It Be Easier For Women To Be In Lesbian Relationships?

In 1992 Natalie Brierley fell in love with a woman for the first time while living in Australia. After two years of being together her visa expired and she had to return back to the UK, but was determined to get back to Australia as soon as possible.

Natalie said:

I was full of the excitement of my relationship and naively expected everyone to share my joy as well as my antipodean shiraz. What I got instead was a wall. Little by little, I gave up on my Aussie dream and resumed my heterosexual life, admittedly with fervour. I met my very wonderful husband and lived a blissfully happy life with our four children, moving to France four years ago. I was, as my friends would say, living the dream.”

But then things changed again for her when she met Cecile, a married French woman who lived nearby.

I remember my first kiss with Cécile. It was exciting, forbidden, incredible. All the feelings typical of a love affair. But I also felt a sense of relief. Relief that she was there, that she felt the same way as me and that 20 years since my first and last encounter with a woman, it felt as if I was where I should be.”

Then two years ago Natalie heard that her former girlfriend in Australia had died and she decided to go back to Australia and visit her old friends.

It took me two days to react and when I did I cried and cried until I decided that I needed to go back to the other side of the world to see the people who filled that very important period of my life. It was there that I realised that I was crying not just for the loss of my friend, but for the loss of me. As happy as I was with my husband, I wanted me back.”

Upon her return to France Natalie decided to leave her husband and be with Cecile, the woman she was deeply in love with and she was surprised to see how much easier it was this time around after the reaction she had from people in 1992.

we’ve been warmly accepted but we have, even in our tiny locale, paved the way for others. There is now one more lesbian couple in our town; two more women brave enough to follow their hearts. Two more people who feel comfortable enough to be themselves. We are just part of the increasing percentage of women in same-sex relationships.”

This same acceptance however did not come from all her family and friends. Cecile has three children and Natalie has four but the reaction from Natalie’s father was not good. He told her:

Gay, what a horrible use of a word that once had a more pleasant connotation. You should both apologise to your partners for the hurt you have caused and, though trust will take forever to earn, put the family back at the top of your list of priorities.”

Natalie explains that both her and Cecile’s children were really understanding when they found out their mum’s had fallen in love. She said that they didn’t bat an eyelid and didn’t question the fact they were both women at all. This also reminded Natalie how different things were this time around for her.

Love has moved on since my last same-sex experience.”

Now Natalie and Cecile are looking forward to the future and she is clear that she doesn’t really want to label herself:

I try not to define myself. I still don’t know if I’m a lesbian or if Cécile is just a wonderful rencontre. And though I’m inclined to go with the former, I don’t really care. I am, we are, Cécile and I and our seven children, in its “proper” sense of the word, thoroughly gay!”

13 Reasons Why We Aren’t Having More Sex In Our Relationship

A survey carried out by Autostraddle carried out a sex survey on women who were in a relationship with other women. 88% of the women who took part said that in an ideal world they would be having sex multiple times a week, but the reality is that only 38.8% are having sex that frequently. Around 40% of the women also said they were unsatisfied with their sex life and couples who had a lot of sex said they were very happy with their relationship. So, what are the reasons we are not having more sex?

Lesbians have sex for a long period of time.

Apparently the average couple have sex for around 30- 40 minutes and some reported that they would have sex for up to 2 hours. It takes a woman 15-40 minutes to achieve orgasm which is why our sex takes longer, so in some cases we simply just don’t have enough time to have more sex.

Depression

Depression affects more women than men and LGBT folks have a higher depression rate than others. Loss of sex drive is a common symptom of depression and is another reason we are not having as much sex as we’d like.

Taking Anti-depressants

This was the most popular reason in the survey as to why women are not having as much sex as they’d like. Anti-depressants have side effects such as low libido, vaginal dryness and problems reaching orgasm. This takes its toll in the bedroom and is a real issue for many.

Dealing with sexual trauma

Apparently 44% of lesbians and 61% of bisexuals have experienced sexual assault, physical violence or stalking from an intimate partner. Enduring this type of trauma can leave women with trust and sex issues that can take a very long time to overcome.

Not wanting to have more sex

Some women are happy enough to just share intimate moments with their partner like holding hands and cuddling and don’t necessarily want to have more sex than they are having. Another reason is women have lower sex drives than men and are content with what they get. It’s important as well to note that some women are asexual and although they are in romantic relationships they simply don’t desire or have interest in the sex.

Being with the same partner for a long time

This is very true as the women who had the most sex had been with their partner for less than a year. In the early days of a relationship it’s common to have lots of sex as it’s so new but over time that does tend to wear off. Sometimes the sex does decrease after you’ve been together for a long time. This can be for reasons such as busy work schedules, children, family commitments, housework and having a hectic social life. This is not necessarily a bad thing as a good relationship is about sharing and spending time together, not just about having sex.

Gender Dysphoria

This issue is common amongst transgendered women, especially during the transition period. Also some women can suffer from dysphoric feelings about their bodies that impact on how comfortable they feel in the bedroom.

Children

This was also a popular reason given as to why there is not more sex in the relationship. Children take up a lot of time and they can be quite exhausting which means by the time you finally collapse into bed of an evening all you want to do is sleep.

Money worries/working long hours

Women have less earning power than men and most lesbian couples both have to work full time to be able to pay the bills. Worrying about money or working long hours means that sex is probably the last thing on your mind.

Long distance relationships

There are not as many queer women as there are straight so we tend to meet people online or in social media groups that might not live in our area or even country. That means having more sex is impossible as you can only do it when you get the chance to meet up.

Menstruation
Our periods can be a real hassle at times, especially if you both menstruate at different times. That can mean up to two weeks of no sex every month if you don’t like to have sex while on your period.

Monogamy
35% of women who have been with their partner for 3 years or more and their relationship is monogamous have sex once a week or more on average. For non-monogamous couples in 3+ year relationships it was 55%.

Different sex drives
When a couple have different sex drives it can be hard to find a happy medium. One wants more sex and the other doesn’t want it. Finding a compromise can be difficult and this was another reason women stated they are not having more sex in their relationship.

7 Little Understood Rules That Lesbians Have In Relationships.

So many people have preconceptions regarding lesbian relationships and many think that we don’t have rules like hetro couples simply because we are two women. Well, let’s inform the misinformed and tell them the top rules that many of us gals follow when we are in a relationship.

We don’t define by gender

It’s very strange how many people believe that two women in a relationship take on certain gender roles. Just because one of us may dress more feminine doesn’t mean to say we ‘keep house’ or if one of us has an outside job we ‘change lightbulbs and fix the car.’ There are no automatic gender roles and most women do things jointly or do the things they are stronger at. It’s that simple.

Not all lesbian couples are made up of one butch and one femme

This misconception must be the most common. People always tend to believe that one woman must be the ‘man’ in the relationship and the other the ‘woman.’ What a load of rubbish. Although there are couples that define as the butch and femme roles, many do not. Some lesbians do not identify as butch or femme and it’s just as common for two butches or two femmes to be a partnership.

Sex toys do not have to dominate in the bedroom

Yet another silly idea people have. It seems that unless we are using penetration with a sex toy we are not getting pleasure or having real sex. Using sex toys in the bedroom is something only the couple decide between them and one of our rules is to decide between the two of us whether we wish to use sex toys or not. Sex can be great with or without sex toys and many lesbians choose not to use them in the bedroom.

We don’t have to have sex every night

Just because we are two women together it doesn’t mean we have sex every night. Most women have sex because they feel like it and if they don’t feel like it they don’t have sex. Just because this could cause a problem in a heterosexual relationship does not mean we play by those rules and we have sex when we both want it, it’s that simple.

Because we are two women together doesn’t mean to say we are settling down

Why people assume that because two women are in a relationship it means they are going to settle down and be together forever is a bit strange. All relationships take time to make decisions like that and there is no rule stating that because we are together doesn’t mean to say we are making massive commitments until we both feel ready.

Cheating is still cheating

If you are in a relationship with someone the same rules apply as they do with all other couples. Cheating is cheating and unless we are in an open relationship most of us will not be happy of our boo cheats on us. Apparently some people think that if a lesbian cheats with a man that doesn’t count as cheating. Well it does.

Threesomes don’t come as standard

Participating in threesomes is not something many lesbians do. Of course some women might do so, but it’s something that can only be agreed between the couple. It comes down to the idea that women need a man to have sex. Well we are sorry to disappoint the men out there but we have good sex without male participation and we are not usually up for sharing ourselves with another person.

So hopefully the people out there that struggle to understand that lesbians also have rules in their relationships this little list can put them all straight.