Author Archives: J Marie

About J Marie

J. Marie graduated from Duke University with a degree in International Relations and dreams of being a creative writer--dreams she's now realizing as a musical theatre writer in NYC. She's passionate about global black identities, black representation in media, and leather-bound notebooks. She also loves backpacking through a new country at a moment's notice, and speaks Spanish, Swahili and Standard Arabic.

Brazilian Producer Arca Makes Queer Music for the Rebellion

MicahTron makes hard rap. Hayley Kiyoko churns out sugary pop. HYM bends time and gender. Mashrou’ Leila jams to political Arabic rock. If you want any genre of queer music, you can have it. Yet even with all those categories, Arca stands out as a spectacle all his own.

The closest you could get to describing Arca is “experimental, operatic, BDSM-flavored electronica.” And even that is just a cherry-picked handful of descriptors. Other words could include folksy, rebellious, enlightening, haunting, and transcendent. Arca writes for Frank Ocean, Kanye West, FKA Twigs and Björk, but he really shines on his independent albums. His newest release is the self-titled album Arca.

When you pull the mask off, Arca is just a gay Venezuelan man named Alejandro Ghersi who hid in the closet throughout his entire childhood. When he arrived in the U.S. at 17, he picked up a random man at the train station and lost his virginity to him the next day.

That’s the type of album this is: Unapologetic. Bursting at the seams. Ready to experiment and become itself.

Ghersi kept his sexuality out of most of his music for his first two award-winning albums, but now that he has achieved international fame, he’s tired of removing himself from his art. The result is Arca, which is an anthem for not just gay men, but also lesbians, queer women, genderqueer people, and people who are unsure of their sexuality. In other words, anyone who’s always felt…different.

Paradoxically, in order to come out, Ghersi first has to go back: back to the conservative area of Venezuela where he remained closeted. From Venezuela he pulls out tonada, traditional folk music that originated in Spain but is also popular in Latin America. Over a tonada-inspired reverb, Arca’s lyrics twist back and forth between English and Spanish.

The Fader says:

Arca sings about queer sex with untreated vocals, which have a crystalline purity. The new songs sound like liturgical laments, unfurling in Spanish amid ever-shifting arrhythmic beats and tense moments of sonic sparseness. In fact, they’re inspired by a Spanish and Hispanic folk style, Tonada, as well as a few ghosts of queer folks past.

Ghersi’s album has a theme: In order to be yourself, you have to love the parts of yourself that hate you – in this case, the Venezuelan community who forced him into the closet and chastised him for not being masculine enough.

And sometimes, being yourself hurts. And vulnerability hurts. And even sex hurts. The body is fragile and the self can be shredded, and the result isn’t necessarily beautiful, but it is truth. Arca’s message rings especially true for queer people who come from families and communities who reject them.

But all the words in the world can’t capture this album’s magic. Listen to Arca for yourself.

New Podcast ‘Nancy’ Discusses Queer Asian-American Identities

Kathy Tu had no time to be queer.

It wasn’t that she didn’t want to be, but she was just already too occupied with being marginalized as a Taiwanese-American and as a woman in the United States – now she had to deal with this too? “I can’t be queer, because I have too much going on,” she said.

Nevertheless, she was queer. There was no getting around that, even if her mother couldn’t see it; Tu had to come out to her three times before it finally stuck.

Many queer women of color face this issue daily. How can you be a person of color and a woman and queer all at the same time? No one has enough time to attend all those protests.

That’s where the podcast Nancy comes in.

Tu teamed up with another LGBT Asian-American named Tobin Low to discuss the nuances of being a queer Asian-American in the US today. They discuss the good (having supportive communities), the painful (being conflicted about their identities, having to deal with Asian stereotypes), and the just plain interesting (like Asian tops in porn videos).

Even people who aren’t Asian-American will relate to the podcast. “Nancy is an LGBTQ-themed show about how we define ourselves and the journey we take to get there,” say Tu and Low. Every queer woman, of color or not, has had to wrestle with her identity. That’s a lifelong journey. And Nancy is here to help you through it.

Both Tu and Low are new to podcasting, but they are experts at running radios behind the scenes. As a child, Low attended circus camp (there’s a conversation-starter) and was a professional cellist before working as a producer at WYNC Studios. You know WYNC from podcasts like 2 Dope Queens, RadioLab, Freakonomics Radio and Sooo Many White Guys.

Tu worked as a producer for podcasts like The Memory Palace and Masterpiece Studio, but this is her first real time in the spotlight. “She wants it noted that this whole hosting thing makes her very uncomfortable, but she’s leaning the eff in,” says the official website.

Check out the first episodes for yourself.

‘Youth, Interrupted’ Goes Behind the Scenes with Trans Teens

Transgender teens today face something that no generation of transgender people has ever faced before them: Visibility.

Of course, transphobia is still an enormous problem, transgender women are being killed at horrifying rates, transgender teens face discrimination and homelessness, and more and more schools are passing laws against transgender students. I am not overlooking that at all.

But transgender Broadly writer Diana Tourjee says,

This generation is the first generation of trans youth who are coming of age during a time of liberation for transgender people.”

In order to bring more visibility to and understanding of transgender people, Tourjee is hosting a miniseries called Youth, Interrupted, about the challenges and triumphs of being a transgender teen today.

She wants to focus on teenagers because, while the LGBT community has much to learn from its elders, she believes that teenagers growing up in the age of transgender liberation are the real leaders.

People should look to them for understanding, rather than rely on outdated preconceptions about what gender means or how the world is supposedly supposed to look.”

While the series touches on legislation and legal battles, such as the infamous “bathroom bills” that are popping up around the country, she does not want to focus on the legal battles. Instead, she’d like to shift the focus to the lived experiences of the transgender teenagers affected by this bill and the discrimination that they face.

The first installment of the series focuses on Trinity Neal, Vinnie Holt and Gavin Grimm. You probably know Gavin from the highly publicized case that was headed for the Supreme Court – whether he wanted to or not, he became the face of the bathroom bill debate. The case was headed to the Supreme Court until Trump struck down Obama-era protections of transgender students’ bathroom rights.

Tourjee says,

This series attempts to capture real American stories, to show the human beings behind and overly politicized debate.”

This series asks the question: What is it like to survive when your very existence is illegal?

Art+Feminism Is Empowering Queer Women One Wikipedia Article at a Time

History is written by cis, straight white men. Wikipedia is too.

Unfortunately, although Wikipedia seems like a universal, unbiased information resource that brings information to people all over the world, it faces the same problem that traditional academia does: It’s run by straight men.

According to the official Wikimedia survey, 91 percent of Wikipedia editors identify as men, which means that, yes, only 9% of editors identify as women. Of the 135,000 people who edit Wikipedia every month, 122,850 identify as men, and only 12,150 as women. Of these numbers, only 1 percent of editors identify as transgender. Like race, the statistics for lesbian, gay and bisexual members were so small that Wikipedia did not list the results.

So clearly there’s a severe lack of representation for women and LGBT people. No big deal, right? After all, Wikipedia says that articles “must be written from a neutral point of view,” so no matter what demographic someone belongs to, they are going to give accurate information. Right?

That’s great. In theory. But in reality, this means that Wikipedia articles related to women and things pertaining to women are much less developed, and much shorter, than articles about men. Many articles are stubs that are a few sentences long and out of date. And the pages of female artists do not get the same degree of research as those of their male contemporaries.

Art+Feminism is going to change that. This organization is increasing the visibility of female, queer, and transgender people by gathering together large groups of women to write these articles. They host fun Edit-a-Thons in order to encourage underrepresented people to come out and share their knowledge on Wikipedia.

Over the last three years alone, Art+Feminism has thrown more than 280 Edit-a-Thons, resulting in the creation of tens of thousands of articles about feminism, queer figures, and other topics that are overlooked by mainstream academia. At the most recent, and largest, Edit-a-Thon, 2,500 participants created or edited more than 6,000 articles.

If you’re interested in including your very important queer, female voice, then head to the official website to learn more about the organization.

4 Signs Porn Is Damaging Your Relationship with Your Girlfriend

“Why do I watch porn? It’s like, sometimes you want to go out to brunch with friends and all drink mimosas together. And sometimes you just want to have a glass of wine in bed by yourself.” – Maxine, The Carmichael Show.

It seems like just about everyone watches porn. Even straight women love lesbian porn. Like, they love it a lot. But is porn getting in the way of your romantic relationship with your girlfriend? Keep an eye out for the warning signs.

1. You prefer porn instead of your girlfriend.

Why do people like porn? It’s convenient, it’s free, it’s sexy, it’s adventurous and, let’s say, it does the job.

In comparison, sex is messy. Complicated. Dirty. Sometimes unsatisfying. And if you’re not into it, you can’t just switch partners like you would switch a porn video.

So it makes sense that you’d prefer porn sometimes. But if you run to your favorite websites before you run to your girlfriend, that’s going to drive a wedge in the relationship.

2. You want your girlfriend to act like a pornstar.

Pornstars are professionals with perfect, sometimes extremely flexible, bodies. Making porn is their full-time profession – that’s why they’re a star. Your girlfriend, as wonderful as she is, can probably not do all of the things that a pornstar can do.

3. You expect your girlfriend to have sex all the time, anytime.

What’s the best part about porn? Well, it’s free. But what’s the second best part? It’s on-demand. Whenever you’re feeling risqué, there are millions of videos available.

In real life, sex is not nearly as readily available, unless you spend every night at a sex party. Your girlfriend just won’t want to have sex sometimes. Sometimes she’ll be on her period. Sometimes she just won’t be in the mood. If you find yourself resenting her for that, take a step back.

4. You use porn to spite your girlfriend.

When your girlfriend doesn’t want to have sex, it’s tempting to load up your laptop instead. And that’s not always bad, as long as she’s okay with you looking at porn. But don’t do this all the time. It sets the precedent that if she won’t give you what you want, you’ll find sexual satisfaction elsewhere, which will just put more distance between you two.

Instead, when your girlfriend isn’t in the mood, talk to her. Do something relaxing like watch TV together. Cook for her. There are 1,000,000 ways to be intimate with someone, and most of them aren’t “sex.”

And talk to your girlfriend about why she isn’t in the mood. Maybe she’s been feeling stressed lately, or maybe she’s been feeling like she can never measure up to the women in the videos.

But remember, as long as it doesn’t get in the way of your relationship, porn isn’t all bad. In fact, you and your girlfriend can actually learn a few things from it.

Andrea Gibson Releases New Poetry Collection, PANSY

When times get hard, you need a good poem.

You need someone to make music out of the difficult times.

We all need Andrea Gibson.

Just by looking at Andrea Gibson, you can’t tell that they are a lyrical genius. They have shaggy brown hair, a small frame that clothes shrug off of, and a voice that doesn’t waver. They are so thin that the wind could blow them away. When they have a panic attack, they shrink to half their size. But when they recite poetry, hundreds of people stop breathing.

Gibson used to identify as a lesbian, but recently realized that they are genderqueer. That is a facet of their art as much as it is of their identity – always shifting, always transforming to encompass more, always reflecting more than it seems.

Gibson says in a recent interview

I rarely write with the hope of changing anyone’s mind, but I do write with the hope of changing people’s hearts, and that includes my own. Art gives us a container where feeling all that we feel isn’t so terrifying.”

Terrifying. They understand this feeling well – much of Gibson’s art touches on their struggles with extreme anxiety and panic attacks. Although they don’t always feel confident in or in control of social situations, they shine through their writing, so much so that sometimes they use it as a shield.

Gibson says,

One of the reasons I started writing was because I could never find the right words in conversations I actually have a poem in which I tell a story about the first time I dated a woman who had children. On our second date, I said, ‘So, your vagina, it’s really rad that babies have come out of it…’ It was mortifying for both of us.”

Gibson’s writing contains multitudes. Sometimes they write about horrifying situations like the one above. Sometimes they write about social ills, like America’s greatest sins in When the Bough Breaks. Other times, they write about family and fear and heartbreak and the horrible privilege that is loving and losing.

Even writing about heartbreak feels like a celebration,” they say. “I don’t think there’s any art more worthy of our attention than the art of loving people well.”

They have played and continue to play sold-out shows all around the world. A peek into the audience at one of their performances is very telling – you’ll see teenagers and elderly people, people of all colors and abilities, people of different classes, men and women and genderqueer people, polyamorous couples and monogamous couples and asexuals snapping to the words. The entire world is contained within a single space. That is the power of Andrea Gibson.

Their newest poetry collection, PANSY, continues the conversation. Learn more at the official website.

Agni Yoga Offers Self-Care For Queer People

Self-care is vital. Sometimes you need emotional self-care, like watching your favorite movie or spending time meditating or with friends. Sometimes you need physical self-care, like going for a run or eating salad. Agni’s Queer and Trans Yoga Class offers the best of both.

This weekly class is specifically geared toward protecting the mental and physical health of people from marginalized communities. This yoga class is two parts yoga, one part poetry slam; the class leaders incorporate poetry and the healing practice of reiki into each session.

Above all, this class aims to be a safe space. One of its organizers, E. Parker Phillips, describes the class as “fat-positive, body positive, kink-positive, multiracial, multigenerational, and feminist.” Before the class, organizers put signs

The class tries to be as accessible as possible. Before the class, organizers put signs on the male changing rooms that those rooms are open to people of all genders. “We seek to create a space where transgender and nonbinary people don’t have to worry about where they are going to pee, especially when they are there to take care of their selves and their bodies,” Phillips says. The center is wheelchair-accessible. And while many yoga spaces across the US are the domain of wealthy women who can afford to spend hundreds of dollars per month, Agni asks only for a suggested donation of $5.

Every aspect of the class is designed to encourage emotional openness. The organizers read poetry before and after class and even perform reiki healing. And instead of the physically intensive hot yoga that is encouraged for losing body fat, Agni focuses on the yin style, which requires participates to hold poses for longer periods of time and focus on their breathing.

This is more than just a yoga session. It’s also a learning space that emphasizes the link between self-care and resistance. Each class educates participants on “transgender stigma, sex worker stigma, the destructiveness of white supremacy, and the limitations of capitalism.” Many people wander into these sessions by accident, not expecting a queer-friendly self-care movement, but leave educated and empowered.

Currently, Agni is only in Miami, but we all hope that other studios will follow their model. If you’re interested in yoga, then learn more about the class to drop in or start a similar practice in your area.

Explore NYC’s Queer History With This Fun, Interactive Map

Queer history comes to life in this interactive new map.

The NYC LGBT Historic Sites Project has finally, after two long years of work, released a map that traces NYC’s queer history from the 17th century to the present.

The map covers more than 550 locations, from popular spots like Stonewall to obscure coordinates like the site that launched the US’ first hate-crime trial. The map allows users to filter out spots based on neighborhood, time period, type of space and cultural significance. Want to find a cruising spot from the 1950s? Done. Want to spot a lesbian activism hub from the 1890s? Got it.

Each spot on the map includes photos, a historical overview, in-depth history and even extra resources like journal articles and videos in case you’d like to learn more.

Although the NYC LGBT Historic Sites Project has only been officially working on the project for the last 2 years, this map represents 20 years of work by historian Ken Lustbader, who began plotting out LGBT sites around the city in the 1990s. After securing funding, he teamed up with a professor and a historian from Columbia University to hunt for hidden pieces of LGBT history that no one else had noticed, like the home where bisexual poet Edna St. Vincent Milay lived for a year and a half in the 1920s.

Even more exciting is the fact that the team just got a $100,000 grant to keep building the project. They plan to create and embed podcasts, walking tours, original videos, multimedia ventures and other elements in order to continue to make the collection immersive.

Their work is so important because they are preserving the LGBT history that the world wants to overlook. Gay marriage only became legal in the US in 2015. For centuries before that, closeted people struggled for recognition, respect and their own lives – which they still do in many places around the US.

Start exploring the interactive map for yourself.

25 Signs You Should Break Up

Sometimes it’s obvious when you need to break up. If you find your girlfriend’s ex’s underwear in the bed, it’s over.

But other times – most times – it’s not so clear. Boredom and dissatisfaction may slowly creep up on you like rainclouds from a distance. Or you might roll over one day and suddenly realize you’re not happy. You might even go back and forth on the idea for days, weeks or months.

Sometimes, the only way to know whether a breakup was the right decision is in hindsight. But to help you make the right decision now, here are 25 signs you should think about ending it.

You would rather spend time with your Netflix account, homework assignments or chores than with your girlfriend.
You’ve been on and off more times than you can count.
You feel relieved when you think about what life would be like without them.
Sex feels flat, and you find yourself faking it on a regular basis.
Or sex is the only thing holding you and your girlfriend together. When you’re not in bed, you have nothing to talk about. Pillow talk is awkwardddd.
You’ve been “wondering” what it would be like to be with other people. A lot.
You need your girlfriend to dramatically change before you’ll want to be with her.
You don’t talk nearly as much as you fight.
You just don’t trust each other.
Everything you loved about your girlfriend now makes you tear your hair out.
Deal breakers – like smoking, or eating meat, or not being clean – are starting to break the deal.
You’re together just so you won’t be alone.
She’s no longer putting in effort, or you’re no longer putting in effort, or both.
Your friends are just a little too enthusiastic when you talk about moving on.
You feel like you’re going through the motions.
You keep thinking about breaking up, even if you tell yourself that you never actually would.
You’re just not happy, period.
Your girlfriend doesn’t support you like you need her to.
You can’t picture a future with her. Whenever you try, you feel bored instead of excited – maybe your skin even crawls.
You compare her to your ex. Like, all the time. Even if you’re not into your ex.
You feel complacent and are no longer reaching for your dreams.
You find excuses to work later or go out with your friends more, anything to get away from your girlfriend a little while longer.
You find yourself flirting with people you’re not really into.
You secretly look for excuses to dump her, and almost wish you would find something incriminating in her phone. That would give you a good reason.
Your instinct tells you to go. As my best friend says, “Follow your heart of hearts.”

Now, what do you do the first day after a breakup?

Star of ‘Thirteen Reasons Why Releases’ Lesbian Love Song

Ever since the hit show Thirteen Reasons Why debuted on Netflix on March 31, fans have gone crazy speculating about the sexuality of the actors and actresses.

While the show contains several out gay characters, including a barbershop quartet of men (and one semi-closeted woman in denial), the real sexuality of the actors has been hotly debated. It was recently revealed that two actors who play straight men in the show are actually dating in real life.

Katherine Langford, the 21-year-old star who plays the protagonist, the ill-fated Hannah Baker, has also been the subject of similar debate. With her smoky green eyes and thick forest of hair, Langford is striking, and queer fans around the world have been speculating about whether they have a chance.

Their speculations aren’t without merit. After all, Langford took her mother to San Francisco’s 2016 gay pride parade, and after the Orlando Massacre, she wrote on Instagram, “While there was a lot of love and joy – this hammered home just how far we still have to go.”

Granted, Langford has never openly discussed her sexuality. But she’s done the next best thing – written a lesbian love song. No, it’s more like a lesbian power ballad.

“I’ve Got a Crush on Zoe Bosch” details Langford’s crush on the titular (and titillating) fellow schoolmate, who was head girl at Langford’s alma mater, Perth Modern School, several years ago. Langford even rocks the school uniform in the video.

Langford opens the video with a shy smile as she pushes her hair to one side, and glances away from the camera. “Zoe, this one is for you,” she says. “I’ve got a crush on you, girl.”

‘Cause you are amazing, drive me crazy
Oh, yes you do
Love and visual art, hashtag art fag
Living proof you can be cool and smart

Leader of our year,
You’re always full of cheer
It is infectious. You’re so approachable

I’ve never met anyone like you

You are so special
You’re funny and you’re daring
You’re loving and you’re caring
For everyone around you
You’re straight up, damn amazing
You’re so captivating

Girl, I love you
Oh, I love you

Does this mean Langford is necessarily queer? Of course not. But do we hope that she’ll release more cheeky lesbian love songs in the near future? Most definitely.

Check out the video for yourself.

‘Two Sentence Horror Stories’ Web Series Is Creepy, Queer and Wonderful

If the queer San Junipero episode of Black Mirror were expanded into its own series, the results would be Two Sentence Horror Stories.

Two Sentence Horror Stories, a new queer horror web series, has everything – lesbian love, possession, genderqueer identities, supernatural creepiness, racism and evil.

The Creator, Vera Miao, says;

Future episodes grapple with racism more explicitly, the impact of new technologies when taken too far, trolling and online bullying, changing beauty standards and how far it goes, objectification of women (particularly women of color) and the horror of that when taken very far,”

Miao is a young, queer Asian-American filmmaker who has always loved ghost stories – how they’re constructed, how they tap into people’s primordial senses, how they reveal the darker layers of the world. She is especially interested in what happens when classic horror stories meet a high-tech, Internet-driven environment.

She based Two Sentence Horror Stories on the massively popular short fiction section of Reddit. The first sentence sets up a horrifying premise, and the second sentence builds on it but rarely resolves it, leaving the reader with a sick, tingly feeling.

For example, one of the most popular posts says:

I begin tucking him into bed and he tells me, “Daddy check for monsters under my bed.” I look underneath for his amusement and see him, another him, under the bed, staring back at me quivering and whispering, “Daddy there’s somebody on my bed.”

(Check out other posts like that here.)

Miao was inspired by the creepy, open-ended nature of the stories. The first episode, MA, focuses on a mother-daughter relationship turned dangerous:

Like many traditional Chinese families, Mona still lives at home with her stern but loving Ma. When she meets cute Erica, their instant chemistry awakens something dormant inside. But Ma is not going to let her daughter go easily. Because nothing is allowed to come between a mother and daughter.”

Miao masterfully takes a two-sentence story and builds it out into a fifteen-minute episode, the first of many.

One of the most refreshing aspects of Miao’s show is that she doesn’t shy away from diverse representation. In fact, diverse representation forms the backbone for the series. The first episode follows queer women of color, framed within a particular immigrant experience; 60% of the episode is in Mandarin Chinese, because Miao wanted to accurately portray what it would be like for Mona to live with her mother. She feels no desire to water down the experience to make it more palatable to an audience and, conversely, the extreme specificity contributes to the universality of the story.

Watch the trailer, and stay updated on the show at the official website.

Watch ‘Babes’, A Web Series About a Queer Playboy

AJ is a transitioning nonbinary playboy in this hot new Canadian web series, Babes.

This web series centers on the friendship between Sybil (Emily Reuangrith) and AJ (T. Thomason). Sybil is a dreamy and successful artist who spends her life flitting around the edges of reality. AJ is a nonbinary trans man who takes life as a joke. Both characters feel out of place in their small town of Fredericton, New Brunswick, Canada. They are the perfect pair.

AJ’s transition forms the plot’s centerpiece. They attend support groups, figure out their sexuality and venture forward into making their body more of their own, although it isn’t easy. The character is loosely based on the life of the creator, AJ Ripley, who also hails from New Brunswick.

Ripley wanted to present a unique trans narrative. So often transgender people who are featured on the news say that they were “born in the wrong body,” but that was not quite AJ’s experience. They wanted to show that there’s more than one way to be transgender, and that gender isn’t a binary.

Ripley actually started writing the show several months before they came out as transgender. Their father was rapidly fading from Alzheimer’s, and AJ desperately needed a laugh. As the show progressed – and so did AJ’s transition – Babes took on its own form, and became a hilariously raw portrayal of AJ’s experiences.

Although most LGBTQ shows are set in large cities like London, NYC and Toronto, Ripley purposefully chose this small Canadian town. It not only provides a vastly different narrative, but it also shows that people from small towns aren’t bigoted; they just don’t have the vocabulary and experiences to understand transgender people. For example, an elderly character named Gladys says many inappropriate remarks out of ignorance, not bigotry, and soon learns about the nuances of gender.

AJ is excited about putting more transgender men, nonbinary trans people and people of color up on screen. The show is currently in its second season, and new episodes release on an irregular schedule. Catch the first episodes here.

This New ‘Michelada’ Music Video Destroys the Gender Binary

Michelada is a bold new music video that pulls gender apart and then smashes it back together in the most miraculous way possible.

The video comes from the Chicago alt-hip-hop duo Bonelang’s debut album, Venn Diagram. It stars genderqueer artist DW McCraven, who dances in three forms: as a “female” self in a black dress, spinning seductively; as a “male” self in baggy clothing who stomps through the space; and as a “nonbinary” self that seems closer to DW’s true presentation, who runs through a field, looking for truth.

The video is so intricate that you have to watch it several times in order to catch the nuances, like the splash of feminine light on DW’s face when dancing as a “woman,” or the tortured shadows that cross DW’s face like a second beard when looking upward as a “man.”

DW dances in a literal Venn diagram: a 25-foot art piece made of soil, sand, stone, sunflowers, cacti, and a skull. This not only symbolizes the overlapping nature of gender, but also “decodes the illusion of safe space for a queer person of color in America,” the video’s director, Samy Language, tells NPR.

The video is much more than a music video. It’s a short film. It’s a queer experience. The viewer is pulled forward into DW’s body as that body shifts and changes, as the body remains in control yet surrenders itself.

It is also an interesting exercise in desire; you may find yourself sexually attracted to one “form,” yet repulsed or confused by others, even though the body itself never changes.

The video took two years to make. Language says, “‘Michelada’ stems from the many masks of DW McCraven that were created as coping mechanisms to navigate the many identities and/or realities that the world imposes upon them.”

Watch the video for yourself, and get Bonelang’s album.

This Cute Lesbian Murder Mystery Is Perfect for Movie Night

This lesbian historical murder mystery is everything that you need in your life.

It’s unlike any other. If you’re tired of lesbian couples where both girls look like they just walked out of Abercrombie and Fitch catalogs, and if you’re tired of historical movies that drag, and if you’re tired of lesbian characters meeting tragic ends in nearly every movie or TV show – then Mystère á la Tour Eiffel is the movie for you.

Welcome to Paris at the turn of the 20th century. The 1800s are fading fast, and the Eiffel Tower now stands tall over the city, glittering with majesty – and murder.

When a terrible murder occurs at the Eiffel Tower, the daughter of one of its architects, Louise, (Marie Denarnaud) is framed, and no one seems to believe that she’s innocent. She and her girlfriend, Henriette (Aïssa Maïga) adventure across Paris in order to prove Louise’s innocence.

If a murder and a lesbian relationship aren’t scandalous enough, consider that Louise is a divorced woman, which was incredibly taboo at the time. After the divorce, she moves in with her father until another male suitor can be nudged into marrying her. Louise, of course, has no interest in that, and as soon as she meets the dashingly beautiful Henriette – who is a woman of color – their passions for each other build.

It portrays their relationship in a realistic way; there’s no room to say that they’re just friends, but there’s also no voyeuristic hypersexual scene, like the one from Blue is the Warmest Color that dominated a news cycle.

Despite its bold take on 20th-century feminism and racial equality, this film is far from preachy. Instead, it’s a charming romp that manages to entertain and enthrall without taking itself too seriously.

Mystère even touches on mental illness, as one of the protagonists gets locked up in an asylum, where she and the other women face cruel treatment. The film is notable because the protagonist doesn’t protest that she isn’t mentally ill and that her asylum stay is a mistake – she knows that she is mentally ill, but contrary to popular belief at that time, she insists that her mental illness isn’t her homosexuality.

Although the women at the asylum are mistreated, Mystère portrays zero violence against women. As mentioned earlier, many lesbian films have tragic endings: sometimes the pair gets gruesomely torn apart by society, or one or both characters die or endure sexual assault. But this film has none of that. There’s a happy ending, and no woman has to die.

The film is originally in French, but watch the subtitled version here.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ne3dPR3x1xc

How Can the Queer Community Make Autistic People Feel More Welcome?

Being queer is all about being different. And yet the queer community has a big problem with exclusivity, especially when it comes to people with disabilities. Specifically, many autistic people feel like the LGBT community is leaving them behind.

It’s not always apparent when a person is autistic. Yes, sometimes autistic people can’t speak, take care of themselves or live alone. But many autistic people, especially those with a milder form called Asperger’s, lead very “typical” lives. And many of them are queer.

You probably know someone with Asperger’s. People with Asperger’s tend to not pick up on social cues, body language or sarcasm, and they appear to lack sympathy and empathy. They may have flat speech without any variation in tone or accents, avoid eye contact and be very interested in a few, extremely specific things.

TV characters thought to be autistic include Sherlock from Sherlock, Crazy Eyes from Orange is the New Black, Abed from Community, Sheldon from the Big Bang Theory, Dr. Temperance Brennan from Bones – the list goes on and on.

But recognizing that someone has Asperger’s means actually talking to that person, and you can’t talk to that person if they don’t feel comfortable in the spaces you visit.

Says Emmanuel, an autistic, gay, trans man:

“Many LGBT events are not accessible to autistic people. LGBT events are often crowded, have live and/or very loud music, food stands, and clubs often have bright flashing lights, all of which are sensory inputs that the vast majority of autistic people are hypersensitive to. There is often no ‘quiet zone’ for us to retreat to when we experience sensory overload.”

So what should we as individuals and as a community do to make autistic people feel more welcome? Here are 7 easy places we can start.

Learn more about Asperger’s and autism.
Recognize that yes, people can be legally disabled and still be LGBT. Having a disability doesn’t negate your sex drive.
Moreover, recognize that you can’t always tell when someone has autism. Just because they don’t say it doesn’t mean that they don’t have particular needs – they just might not feel comfortable sharing those needs with a stranger.
Talk to your local LGBT center about making spaces more accessible to autistic people. Something as simple as having a quiet room or area available for people who need a moment to be alone is extremely helpful.
Set up LGBT programming/activities that don’t all revolve around socializing. For example, having board game sessions or movie nights is a great choice.
Talk to your local LGBT center about setting up a discussion group for LGBT people who also have physical or mental disabilities.
Cut out ableist language, such as the r-word, and identify your own ableist behaviors.

The LGBT community should make everyone feel welcome. Although that’s not always easy, it’s our responsibility to make sure that all types of queer people feel welcome in our spaces. Learn more here.

Not All Queer People Want a Fairy Tale Ending. When Will ‘Serial’ Realize That?

Some gay people get married, have 2.5 kids and move to the suburbs to live happily ever after. Some gay people are all-American and eager for marriage and children.

And some gay people hate that.

That’s hard for some straight people to understand. Not all gay people are domestic like Mitch and Cam from Modern Family. Some gay people are queer. Radical. Loud. Non-conforming. And not interested in monogamous long-term relationships.

That’s what the producers of Serial, This American Life and S-Town don’t understand.

You’ve probably heard of the first two – who hasn’t developed their own intricate theories to prove Adnan’s innocence, or fallen asleep to the sleepy tones of Ira Glass?

But Serial producers’ new true crime podcast S-Town is rapidly gaining popularity. John B. McLemore, an eccentric watchmaker in rural Alabama, contacts producer Brian Reed in order to dish about a scandalous murder: A teenager has been killed, and the police are working with one of Alabama’s most powerful families in order to cover it up.

But soon, listeners realize that the real murder isn’t about the teenager, it’s about McLemore himself. He commits suicide in te second episode. But why? Reed shifts his attention to unraveling McLemore’s life, searching for clues as to why the man might have ended his own life. Reed approaches the topic with care and nuance, eager to find out the truth.

Until he finds out that McLemore was gay.

At that point, Reed throws all impartiality out of the window and devises his own unsupported theory for why McLemore died: He was a gay man who was always tragically searching for his one true love, and when he couldn’t find it, he took his own life.

Never mind that McLemore never expressed such sentiments. Never mind that McLemore’s friends and former hookups disagreed with Reed’s theory. Never mind that McLemore spent a lot of time cruising because he found meaning and satisfaction in hookups.

“Never mind all that,” Reed seems to say. “McLemore wanted to get married.” Reed’s only real evidence is a cowboy love song that he references every five minutes and Brokeback Mountain, which he is convinced applies to McLemore’s life.

So why is this issue important? Well, as queer people, we rarely get to tell our own stories. In films, queer secondary characters get fleeting moments and minimal character development. If a film or book centers on a gay character, then that book automatically becomes a “gay” book all about the heartache of being gay. That’s what happened with S-Town. Reed could have delved into many aspects of McLemore’s life in order to really understand the character, but he decided that McLemore’s story was a “gay” story just because McLemore was gay.

This is exhausting. Can’t TV shows, movies, books and podcasts have fleshed out gay characters who are interesting, not just gay? For example, Night Vale is an even more popular podcast whose narrator is gay and important and interesting, not just gay.

See which queer TV shows and movies are currently doing a much better job than S-Town.

15 Reasons To Create Queer Art

Make queer art.

If you’re an artist, create a queer superhero. If you’re a writer, include queer characters. If you’re a filmmaker, don’t shy away from LGBT content. If you like video games, please, for the sake of queer gamers, create.

Of course, you don’t have to make queer art. You have no obligation to, even if you’re the queerest queer artist who ever dared to queer.

But here are 15 amazing reasons why it’s worth it.

LGBTQ youth need to see queer representation now more than ever.
Writers keep killing off LGBT characters. Only you have the power to make it stop.
We’re sick of tragic coming-out stories. For the love of God, introduce writers to the concept of happy endings.
Not all lesbians are hot women secretly looking for a man. Or gym teachers. Let’s start making lesbian stories realistic.
Cisgender white men haven’t realized that gender and sexuality are a spectrum. You can create something truly diverse.
The media industry is frantically looking to queer people for new stories.
You’ll grow a thick skin. Why? Because you’re going to accidentally offend someone at some point, most likely conservatives. You’ll get used to it.
I mean, Disney is doing it.
The world is becoming so openly diverse that if you don’t include queer characters, you’re going to look behind the times.
People finally have the courage to ask – no, demand – to see themselves represented.
You can finally create the characters you dreamed about seeing as a teenager.
You’ll get to roll up to the Lambda Awards in style.
Think of it as slash and femslash come to life. We all know you wrote Sirius Black/Remus Lupin fanfiction when you were fourteen.
You can shine light on the LGBT issues people overlook, like microaggressions or police brutality against trans women.
You can collaborate with other amazing queer artists and form a coalition of queer talent.

What are you waiting for? Pick up a super-gay notebook and start brainstorming!

In Real Life, TV Characters Would Be Way More Bisexual

The best part of watching a show is rooting for your favorite characters to get together, even if they’re the same gender. Especially if they’re the same gender. Sometimes, your favorite pairing seems to have a chance – certain shows are notorious for queerbaiting us into thinking that queer pairings are on the horizon. I’m looking at you, Sherlock.

But at the end of the day, those characters never end up together. They either end up with other straight characters or, if they admit they’re gay, they die.

The problem isn’t that there aren’t shows with lesbian characters. There are some, such as Transparent, How to Get Away with Murder, Sense8, and Orange is the New Black. But in many shows, there are the Designated Queer Characters – you know they’re gay, and their gayness is central to their character development (although straight characters’ straightness is never central to their own character development). They either have failed crushes on straight characters or failed romances with Designated Queer Love Interests, who die. I’m looking at you, Buffy the Vampire Slayer.

But in real life, people’s sexual identities aren’t always straight lines. They’re fluid. Straight people have gay crushes. Gay people have straight crushes. Straight people have gay experiences but continue to identify as straight. Gay people have straight experiences and continue to identify as gay or queer or bisexual. People experiment with polyamory and threesomes and open relationships.

But in TV shows, straight people are just straight. And gay people are just gay. Unless they’re women, in which case they usually become straight. Or die.

Similarly, TV shows depict gender as being very static. You are either a Masculine Woman, Feminine Woman, Masculine Man or Feminine Man. If you’re transgender, you automatically become the stereotype that corresponds to your gender. But in real life, many people are a little more nonbinary. Sometimes butch women have days they feel like being more feminine, for no reason. Sometimes cisgender people feel like dressing androgynously.

So what needs to change? TV shows should just make sexual and gender queerness a normal part of life and stop acting like sexuality and gender identity are neat boxes.Characters should be able to experiment bisexually, even if they realize they are straight, and have bisexual feelings, even if they don’t act on them. And if a show is using characters as queerbait, then those characters should actually get together – or at least stand a real chance.

Some shows do this well. On Steven Universe, characters are masculine and feminine and androgynous, and many switch back and forth; for example, the main character, Steven, sees nothing wrong with wearing a skirt. When a character has a crush on someone, it doesn’t matter whether the crush is male or female. Similarly, on Black Sails, characters experiment with bisexuality, polyamory, and homosexuality however they see fit. It’s refreshing.

Hopefully, more shows will realize the fluidity of sexuality and gender. Until then, I’ll continue to daydream.

Quick Mental Health Apps to Make Your Day Better

How’s your mental health these days?

Life can be a lot. On top of dealing with sometimes horrifying world politics, you have to handle everyday life, which might include racism, sexism, classism, ableism, transphobia, homophobia, or all of the above. That’s in addition to juggling classes and jobs and family and iPhones that break right after the warranty expires. It’s no wonder that queer women face greater mental health risks.

You probably already know that you need to slow down and stop worrying – but it’s just so hard! Sometimes prioritizing mental health feels like just another item on the to-do list, an item that doesn’t seem important. But when I’m struggling with my mental health, these are the two apps that have helped me the most. Hopefully, they’ll help you too.

Stop, Breathe and Think

Wear Your Voice Mag calls this app “the ‘mood ring’ of meditation.” How does it work? First, tell the app how you feel emotionally and physically. Based on your mood, it will recommend and guide you through three different meditations that will help.

If you have a hard time clearing your head when you meditate, don’t worry. Stop, Breathe and Think walks you soothingly through several guided images; why be in a blank space when you could be reclining on a beautiful beach or swimming under a gentle waterfall?

The app also times how long you’ve meditated, tracks your mood and after meditation in order to tweak its algorithm, and gives you encouraging stickers for reaching milestones.

Get the app here.

Wysa

We all need someone to talk to. The problem is that sometimes we feel like we’re burdening people with our problems – how many times can you open up to your BFF before you start worrying that she thinks you’re crazy? This is especially difficult if you’re an introvert (guilty).

So open up to a digital penguin instead.

This chatbot takes the form of a penguin that walks you through your negative feelings. I know, it sounds crazy, but the penguin uses mindfulness techniques, cognitive behavioral therapy and adorable stickers to encourage you. This clever little guy has helped me thousands of users, including me, talk through our emotions.

Give Wysa a try, or find more helpful apps here.

And if you’re worried about your mental health affecting your relationships, we can help you cope.

FBI Agent Susan SurfTone Becomes Lesbian Surf Rocker

Susan SurfTone first spent years fighting Soviet spies as part of the FBI. Then she became an openly lesbian surf-rocker with a hot new album.

She’s living the life we’ll all dreamed about.

A Lone Lesbian in the FBI

For a decade, everything Susan Yasinski did revolved around her dream of joining the FBI. She enrolled in law school to study Soviet politics. She worked at what became the US Department of Energy to learn the workings of the federal government. She became a bartender near the Combat Zone in Boston, where each night brought murders and robberies that just strengthened her desire.

When she finally made it into the FBI, they first set her up to solve bank robberies. After she had a bit more experience, the FBI sent her to track KGB secret agents from the Soviet Union. At only twenty-four years old, she was responsible for the nation’s security.

But her dream wasn’t all it was cracked up to be. The misogyny in the male-dominated FBI made her blood curdle; colleagues spoke over her and made inappropriate advances more times than she could count. On top of that, she could never come out of the closet, because she was told it would “compromise” her situation as an agent.

Susan realized this wasn’t her true dream. Her real dream lay in her childhood fantasies.

The Invention of Susan SurfTone

Since she was 9, Susan had been obsessed with music, idolizing bands like The Ramones and Blondie, and picked up as many instruments as she could. But age evaporated her dreams. As farfetched as being an FBI agent was, at least it was feasible, unlike being a career punk rocker.

At least, that’s what everyone told her. But if Susan could uncover secret Russian agents, she could make it as a surf rocker.

She found a female singer that she clicked with, and the two formed a band that performed all over New York City. People said that the band reminded them of Pulp Fiction meets Cyndi Lauper – a strange combination, but people liked it, and soon a label signed Susan and set her up on a tour all around Europe.

For the most part, Susan’s songs revolve around people loved and lost, but lately, politics have been creeping into her lyrics. With Russia and nuclear weapons in the news every day, it feels like she’s back in the 80s.

Learn more about Susan and what she had to overcome, and then check out her EP for yourself.

Top 7 Queer Moments: Steven Universe

If you could sum up Steven Universe in one line, it would be this:

Giant lesbian space rocks and lots of self-care.

The show is a virtual safe space where gems fall in love, watermelons rule their own island, and Nicki Minaj voices a badass character.

It follows the adventures of Steven, a young boy with supernatural abilities, and the Crystal Gems, female aliens whose lives depends on their gemstones. The current Crystal Gems are Garnet, Amethyst, Pearl, and Peridot.

Steven Universe fights racism; many characters are of color, and their differences are celebrated without being centralized. It fights misogyny; strong female characters abound. It fights xenophobia; one character admits she doesn’t have a license because she’s technically an illegal immigrant. And it fights classism; the main character’s father lives in a van and finds no value in money

But let’s look at the way Steven Universe handles queerness. All of the crystal gems are female, and they fall in love with each other – it’s natural. They also fall in love with human women. It’s natural. Their stories are handled with care and nuance, and all of the queer characters are fleshed out.

Let’s look at some of the top queer (and genderqueer) moments.

7. Desperate to impress Amethyst, Peridot saves her life – and winds up on top of her. Then she gives her a gift.

6. Pearl and Garnet perform the most erotic dance ever allowed on kid’s television, and then fuse into one person.

5. Steven rocks this aquamarine dress and pageant makeup. And never once does he bring up fragile masculinity.

4. Jasper returns from the bottom of the ocean to beg for Lapis to come back to her, but Lapis recognizes that Jasper was toxic, and ends the abusive relationship.

3. Ruby and Sapphire have been together for more than 3,000 years. And they still can’t stop flirting. This is the ultimate lesbian love.

2. Pearl falls in love with a woman who looks like Steven’s mother, Rose, whom Pearl was also in love with for thousands of years. She does have a type.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Sg0ZL10R2do

1. This. All of this. (Beware: Major spoilers for Season 1.)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_ct0Sq57u4c

What are your favorite queer Steven Universe moments?

3 Lesbian Films That Break the Mold

Most lesbian films follow a simple formula:

One straight girl + one mysterious queer woman + a shadowy male authority figure representing the patriarchy + cute scenes set to indie music = a top spot in Netflix’s LGBT movie section.

But some lesbian films are breaking the mold. They manage to still be cute enough to watch with your girlfriend on a date night, but unpredictable enough to keep you interested. Let’s look at the top 3.

Kiss Me (2011)

To be honest, this movie’s a little melodramatic, and it does stick to a tried-and-true format. A girl (Mia) is engaged to a man but falls in love with a carefree, dangerous woman (Frida). Antics ensue.

What makes it different: At the same party where Mia announces that she’s going to marry her boyfriend, her father announces that he’s getting married, too – to the woman who turns out to be Frida’s mother. Yes, the two women are about to become stepsisters. This movie is the definition of family drama.

But I’m a Cheerleader (1999)

Everyone knows that cheerleaders always date popular male jocks. That’s just what they’re supposed to do. But something is wrong with head cheerleader Megan: Everyone seems to know that she’s gay except her. Her parents send her to conversion camp where she ends up, predictably, falling in love with the “bad boy” lesbian.

What makes it different: This movie is delightfully cheesy. It’s satire. This hilarious film pokes fun at all of the lesbian stereotypes of the 90s, many of which hold true today. Plus, see Natasha Lyonne before she made her Orange is the New Black debut as Nicky Nichols.

Kissing Jessica Stein (2001)

Heterosexual Jessica is tired of being heterosexual. She answers a newspaper ad for a bisexual woman looking for a girlfriend (Helen). The two women date, and Jessica spends months agonizing over whether she’s actually queer. The ending is happy. And then it’s not. No spoilers.

What makes it different: Bisexuality. It’s rarely addressed in lesbian films – both women are usually lesbians, even if one woman doesn’t know that at the start of the film. But Kissing Jessica Stein actually addresses the nuances of bisexuality.

If you’re not familiar with the nuances, here you go:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YUDab9piv_U

#LesbianAnthem Gives A Voice to Queer Indians

Being queer anywhere is far from easy. For example, in India, despite the increasingly liberal young population, many people still hold relatively conservative views. Arranged marriages are common, the caste system has not completely disappeared, and heterosexuality is the presumed norm.

Queer rights activist Malini Jeevarathnam takes a stand against this homophobia with her film, Ladies and Gentlewomen, which documents the lives, deaths and suicide attempts among lesbians in India. The controversial film is bringing India’s queer community to light.

But Jeevarathnam knows that not everyone will want to watch an entire film. And even if they want to, censorship, Internet access and monetary funds can prevent them. Since she wants to spread her message as far as possible, she commissioned a songwriter to write something that captures the essence of Ladies and Gentlewomen, but which can be shared worldwide: a music video titled #LesbianAnthem.

The song follows two lesbian couples in love. The first couple lives in the city – they’re what you could call liberal or modern. The second couple is much more traditional. They’re confined to the rural region of Tamil Nadu, but their traditional surroundings do not prevent them from getting a happy ending.

Jeevaratham was heartbroken when she found out that many Indian lesbians couldn’t relate to traditional pop or Bollywood songs. #LesbianAnthem finally gives them a song that documents their experiences. She enlisted composer Justin Prabhakaran and Kutti Revati, a love poet. Jeevarthnam had only one direction for Revati: “Keep the lyrics simple, uncomplicated and cheerful.”

You never know what will happen to a song like this after you release it to the general public. Macklemore’s Same Love inspired queer people across the United States to come out, comforted by the fact that a mainstream white rapper was affirming their existence, or something. But a 2016 cover of Same Love in Kenya left the creators terrified, facing death threats and eventually forced to flee the country.

So what will the reaction be in India? Only time will tell. In the meantime, check out the song for yourself.

Get Your Fix of Cuteness with ‘Bingo Love’

The comic book world is finally telling new stories.

Roxane Gay and Ta-Nehisi Coates are concocting black superheroes for Marvel. Meanwhile, America Chavez is taking center stage, catching the eye of openly queer actors of color such as Gina Rodriguez. The current Ms. Marvel, Kamala Khan, is a fierce Muslim girl in a hijab, and I’m putting my money on Saffiyah Khan for the movie role – she made headlines for the viral photo of her staring calmly at a furious Neo-Nazi.

But not all diverse comics get the fame or the funding of powerful imprints like Marvel. Some comics have to start from nothing in order to make something beautiful. Meet Bingo Love.

Bingo Love follows the romance of two teenagers, Hazel Johnson and Mari McCrary, who fall in love at a bingo hall in 1963. Their families tear apart the relationship as soon as it begins, and both Hazel and Mari find themselves married to men. It takes decades before both women find the strength to divorce their husbands and rekindle their love for each other. But they do it, and they live happily ever after.

Bingo Love was written by Tee Franklin, a writer who is queer, black and disabled. The story stems from her personal experiences. She remained closeted for most of her life, and even married a man and had three children.

Only when she came out of the closet did she find true peace.

I definitely understand that there are black LGBTQ people out there like Hazel and Mari who feel that they have to hide their true selves from the worl.”

To fund the project, she turned to Kickstarter, inspired by black female filmmaker Ava DuVernay’s mandate for female creators to make their own projects without asking for permission from the mainstream. Within 5 days, Tee made her goal of $19,999. As of April 2017, nearly 1,500 backers have raised over $44,000.

The 80-page comic will be out by the end of this 2017. Pre-order your copy at the official Kickstarter page.

In ‘Unicornland’ Polyamory Is Honest, Sexy and Awkward

If you’ve seen one web series, you’ve more or less seen them all. The vast majority of web series, even queer ones, involve a hapless young adult surrounded by a troupe of quirky characters as he or she searches for their one true love. It’s funny. It’s poignant. It’s…done.

In that respect, Unicornland is similar. It’s a love story. Except, instead of one true love, the main character is searching for her multiple true loves.

Meek and mild-mannered Annie dreams of becoming a unicorn – that is, a person of any gender who dates couples. Every episode centers on Annie’s escapades with a new couple. Sometimes it’s hot. Sometimes it’s awkward. Usually, it’s both.

The writer, Lucy Gillespie, drew the story from her own life. She got married young and divorced young, after realizing that she was tired of being afraid of life. She wanted to explore, to cherish all of the things – and people – that life had to offer. Her experiences in the polyamorous and BDSM community made her feel like she was alive.

She hired a primarily female cast and crew to make all of her actors feel more comfortable, especially during the sex scenes. Gillespie is literally replacing the male gaze with the female gaze. She also hired a BDSM consultant to make sure that Unicornland, unlike movies like Fifty Shades of Grey, accurately depicts BDSM culture.

The show is also notable for its diversity. There’s not just one way to be sexual – not just one sexual orientation, body type or race. The show proves that women and men of all types deserve to find pleasure.

Says Gillespie, “I was trying to be as realistic as possible about the journey of this young, naïve woman and the pitfalls she makes and the sanctuary that she finds.”

Check out the show for yourself at the official website.

‘Just Like Us’ Photo Project Highlights Ghana’s LGBT Community

It’s impossible to be both African and queer.

That’s what many conservative African parents tell their children. Being gay is a sinful choice. It’s just not possible. It is, as the Limit(less) project explored, “un-African.”

Through the Limit(less) project, photographer Mikael Owunna set out to talk to queer African expats living abroad in countries like the U.K. and Norway, who were struggling to reconcile being queer with being African in a foreign country.

Through the “Just Like Us” project, photographer Eric Gyamfi stays closer to home. He focuses on Ghanaians living in Ghana, where same-sex activity is still illegal.

The driving idea behind Gyamfi’s photo project is normativity. He wants to prove that queer people aren’t defective. They’re normal. They eat breakfast. They go to school. They shop for groceries. They tell bad jokes. They do all of the painfully boring and awkwardly wonderful things that straight people do.

He says,

People who do not understand queerness have a singular notion of what queer people are supposed to be or supposed to look like. So what I came in to do was to show people that queer people are people first and that they cut across all categories of humanness.”

He aims to truly get to know every subject before photographing him, her or them. Before ever snapping a single photo, he spends days or even weeks living with each person. The aim of his project is to capture queer people in everyday life, and the only way to get truly honest photos is to form honest relationships.

Crucially, despite homosexuality being illegal in Ghana, Gyamfi doesn’t focus on that. There are enough photos of sad Africans in the world. He wants to celebrate the fact that queer Ghanaians are living life and loving it. And loving each other.

Western queer activists may have reservations with the project. Normalization, or homonormativity, isn’t the point of being queer – not every queer person wants to be just like every straight person. Many queer radical activists dedicate themselves to fighting against heterosexual standards, and dedicate themselves to breaking down ideas of what sex and gender should be.

But before radical queerness became acceptable in the U.S., queerness had to become acceptable. We must acknowledge that homonormativity played a role in that. Before radical LGBT webseries and marriage equality, there were “safe” shows like Modern Family and Will and Grace. These “safe” images that showed the straight world that queer people weren’t monsters.

And that’s where Gyamfi comes in. In a society where some queer people are considered depraved, it’s radical just to prove that they’re not. For the “Just Like Us” project, normalcy is power.

Check out the project here.

13 Things ’13 Reasons Why’ Gets Right About Being Queer

(Spoilers below.)

13 Reasons Why is impossible to watch. And it’s impossible not to watch.

After high school junior Hannah Baker commits suicide, the whole school is baffled as to why she did it. Well, she left behind 13 tapes to explain why. Each tape is dedicated to a different person – people who were once her friends, people who were once her lovers, people who hardly ever said a word to her – and the part they played in her death.

The result is Netflix’s gritty and painful new show. Viewers are forced to watch her parents go broke fighting an unwinnable lawsuit. Viewers are forced to watch teenage boys grope, insult and even rape female students without any consequences. And viewers are forced to watch, in the show’s most painful scene, Hannah Baker kill herself.

But, as Hannah would say, that’s a story for another time.

Right now, I want to look at the show’s queer characters, and what this painful teen drama got right about what it’s like to be LGBT today.

1. No matter how “liberal” society is, it’s still hard to come out.

Everyone always claims that they “don’t care if you’re gay” and pretend to be super tolerant. I mean, gay marriage is legal now, so the battle’s basically won, or whatever. Right?

But Courtney Crimsen, who is popular, intelligent and destined to be the future President of the United States, despises herself for her sexuality. She got a girl killed because she was too scared to admit to her classmates or herself that she was queer. She knows that she’s likely to be rejected. After all, that’s why 2.8 million LGBT teens in the US are homeless; their families and communities threw them out.

2. Gay parents don’t necessarily make it easy for gay kids to come out.

Did I mention that Courtney has two gay dads? So she has nothing to worry about, right? Of course they’ll accept her. But she faces so much guilt because if she comes out as gay, homophobic people will be able to say that her fathers made her that way, lending credence to the believe that gay parents “corrupt” their children.

3. Reclaiming words is powerful.

Ryan, your stereotypical gay man with a perfect manicure and scrotum-hugging skinny jeans, calls himself a faggot. Hannah, aghast, says that people aren’t supposed to say that word. “Well, I can say it,” says Ryan. By claiming that word, he takes power away from the people who’d use it to hurt him.

4. Yes, gay kids still get bullied.

When Ryan tells Hannah he was bullied, she was aghast (again), believing that in the 21st century, people no longer bully gay people. Tragically, the 21st century is not as advanced as we’d like to believe; for starters, look at the “alt-right.”

The sad fact is that gay kids get bullied way too much. In fact, gay kids probably got bullied right in front of Hannah’s eyes. But sometimes people find it easier to tell themselves that something’s not happening than to actually confront that thing.

5. No, that’s my girlfriend, not my sister.

Gay people could be making out while wearing wedding rings and pushing a stroller. A passerby will still say, “Look at those good friends!”

When machoman Tony comes out to clay as gay to the straight protagonist Clay, Clay is confused – wasn’t the guy Tony was spending all of his time with just, y’know, a pal?

6. Sometimes we need alcohol in order to be our true selves.

Courtney Crimsen has known that she’s queer for a while. But the only time she can express it is after a few too many drinks, when she dares Hannah to kiss her as part of a game. Like many of us, she feels the need to hide her true feelings so that she can use the excuse, “I was drunk. I was just kidding.”

7. Gay people can be racist, sexist and heteronormative.

Courtney is Asian. One of Courtney’s gay dads tells her that she should marry the black character, Marcus, because they’d have “beautiful babies.” This assumes Courtney is straight. This also exoticizes biracial characters. And this assumes that Courtney wants to be a mother. Just because you’re gay doesn’t mean you’re not problematic.

8. Straight people assume you’re into them.

During a mountain-climbing trip, Clay almost falls to his death. Tony saves his life. Sweaty and barely alive, Clay sits next to Tony on top of the mountain, and they talk. They talk about sex and pain and grief. They talk about a girl who committed suicide. They talk about a girl who was sexually assaulted. And Clay is fine with all of this.

But as soon as Tony mentions he’s gay, Clay freaks out.

Tony says his boyfriend is jealous because he and Clay have been spending a lot of time together. “But not like that?” Clay asks anxiously, even though Tony has already made it clear he has a boyfriend. Sigh…

9. Gay people can be religious.

Tony is a devout Catholic. He’s freaked out by tarot cards or anything that vaguely goes against his religion. Yes, gay people can be Catholic, Muslim, Jewish, or anything, really. Faith doesn’t always conflict with sexuality.

10. Sometimes LGBT people feel hyper self-conscious.

When Tony comes out to Clay, he assumes that everyone already knows. And when Courtney throws Hannah under the bus, it’s because she worries everyone will be disgusted with her for being gay. When you’re queer, it’s easy to feel like there’s a Scarlet letter branded on your forehead. But sometimes your sexuality isn’t as big a deal to people as you fear.

11. People still have a fetish for lesbians.

Clay is supposed to be the “good guy” in this story. He’s sweet, he’s selfless, and he’s not a rapist, unlike most guys at his school. But when a photo circulates of Hannah and Courtney kissing, he masturbates to it. It doesn’t matter that the photo was obviously taken through a bush by a stalker, or that the girls wouldn’t want random men to jerk off to their private moment. He does it anyway.

12. You have to come out. And then come out. And then come out.

Coming out isn’t a single choice. It’s a lifestyle. No matter how many people you come out to, there will always be more people who assume you’re straight. When Tony comes out to Clay, you can just see the weariness on his face. Like: This, again?

13. Gay doesn’t look like you think it does.

13 Reasons Why is great because it shows all different types of being gay. Courtney, who is a lesbian, isn’t butch, she’s a straight-A student who spends more time studying and campaigning than she does lifting weights or dreaming about Samira Wiley. Ryan is a feminine gay man, but Tony drives muscle cars, wears leather jackets, and looks straight out of a 50s greaser movie.

Watch 13 Reasons Why on Netflix.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JebwYGn5Z3E

1920s Berlin Was Queerer Than NYC is Today

Although Germany now has a lesbian-only cemetery, the country was not always so progressive. During Hitler’s reign, Nazis rounded up LGBT people. Queer women went into hiding, lost their families and were forced to flee the country.

But what happened right before that?

The new book Queer Identities pulls back the curtain on pre-Hitler Germany. The Berlin of the early 1900s had more in common with NYC’s very gay West Village than it did with anywhere else in Germany. It was so gay that tourists called it both Sodom and Gomorrah.

One writer in 1928 said about Berlin’s finger-licking lesbian scene,

Here each one can find their own happiness, for they make a point of satisfying every taste.”

By the mid-1920s, Berlin had over fifty lesbian bars. That’s more than there are in NYC right now (and soon that will be more than there are in the entire U.S.).

While some bars were refined, many were far from tame. Many times, female performers got so scandalous and bawdy that they were arrested.

Male gay bars were often segregated based on class, ranging from hole-in-the-wall bars where patrons paid 10 pennies for a cheap beer (the equivalent of about $1.30 today), to swanky affairs where the cheapest drinks started at 1 reichsmark (about $13).

In lesbian bars, this wasn’t so. People of every classes mingled, from artists to sex workers to professional women to working-class women. This was unprecedented at the time.

When women weren’t making love behind curtains at lesbian bars (which was an actual thing), they were attending grand gay and lesbian balls. From October to Easter, clubs all over Berlin hosted magnificent balls several times a week. On any given night, you could attend several. Drag was common, and guests dressed up as “monks, sailors, clowns, Boers, Japanese geishas, bakers and farmhands.”

Queer history has often been unkind, as Nazi-era Germany proved a few short years later. But through it all, lesbian and bisexual women have somehow found ways to prosper and continue being themselves. They were heroes, and the best way to honor the ones who came before us is to continue to be our amazing, creative, queer selves.

Pick up Queer Identities here.

Watch #BKKY, A Lesbian Thai Film That Will Make You Think

It’s been a long time since a lesbian movie made me think.

Thai film #BKKY is and it isn’t like your typical lesbian movie. Many of the stereotypes are here – adolescent heartbreak and confusion, a bittersweet coming-of-age tale, a society that just doesn’t understand – but this film presents those tropes in refreshing ways.

The movie opens beneath a desk. Close-up on the legs of two high school girls flirting nervously with each other. One of the girls offers the other a gift and then nervously asks her out.

“Try playing footsie,” says a man’s voice off screen.

It’s the director.

A clapperboard appears. Take ten. The director demands that the scene start again.

At that moment the viewer is left thinking, “What on earth am I watching?”

#BKKY is less a film about a lesbian coming of age, and more a film about how we make films about lesbians coming of age. It’s thoughtful and meditative, and it forces the viewer to question their preconceived notions about what the “right” way to tell a queer story is.

At its heart, the film (claims that it) is a love story about Jojo, a young Thai girl who explores her sexuality in adolescence and young adulthood. Jojo is the face of interviews the director conducted with 100 queer and/or trans Thai teenagers. The director didn’t have any idea for a story when he started the interviews; it unwound naturally over time. The film’s plot borrows heavily from a diary that one of the interviewees donated.

The interviews themselves play a large part in the story. Hyperallergic says, “Some of the time, the studio interviews appear like context for a documentary, complementing the fictional storyline. At other times, they become background audio. At really magical moments, the two seem to converge and blend, leaving us guessing as to the true parameters of this story: what is fact and what is fiction.”

The film also touches on themes of patriarchy, patriotism and sexual fluidity.

Learn more at the official IMDB page.

Check Out Queer Sci-Fi Podcast ‘Welcome to Night Vale’

Disney villains are always gay.

It’s just one of those strange, accidental facts of life that aren’t strange or accidental at all. It’s called queer-coding, and it’s homophobic. Society finds homosexuality repulsive – which is perfect for a villain.

TV Tropes call this the Sissy Villain. Look at Aladdin’s Jafar, who is “willowy,” “averse to physical labor,” and exhibits “melodramatic flair.” Or take Lion King‘s Scar, whose feminine drawl is in stark contrast to Mufasa’s traditional masculinity.

This trope transcends Disney. Have you looked at HIM, from the Powerpuff Girls? They’re a cross-dressing male-bodied character who is “evil” because they wear heels and lipstick.

Welcome to Night Vale is changing all of that.

To say Night Vale is a wildly popular sci-fi/fantasy podcast is an understatement. Millions of listeners tune in to hear stories from this puzzling, fictional universe about a town where strange things keep happening. It’s like Serial meets Supernatural meets Adventure Time. With Twin Peaks and Life is Strange stirred in.

The mysterious are captivating, the writing is witty and the tales are humorous. Oh, and in Night Vale, being gay has nothing to do with being a villain. Not a single villain is queer-coded, and the queer characters are fully developed.

From the first episodes, the show has tracked the relationship of two openly gay protagonists, the narrator Cecil Gershwin Palmer and another character, Carlos. The creator says,

Carlos could easily be a Samantha, and it would not affect the plot at all. That’s what makes it so beautiful; it’s a gay relationship that is not dependent on the plot.”

Both Carlos and Cecil are voiced by openly gay men, who understand that you don’t need stereotypes in order to make a character “sound” gay.

Similarly, the show casts Desiree Burch to play a character named Pamela Winchell – she is a black woman playing a black woman, who brings a real nuance to the character.

The audio drama also has queer women as well. One of the newest characters is a devout lesbian Muslim who wears a hijab. The openly lesbian actress Jasika Nicole (whom you may welcome from queer indie hits like Suicide Kale) has voiced the recurring Night Vale character of Dana since 2013.

The Night Vale spinoff, Alice Isn’t Dead, follows a lesbian truck driver driving across the country in search of the wife that she thought was long dead.

Enter Night Vale on the official website.